If you were making a list with two columns and on one side listing all the bad things about being transgender and on the other side all the good things what would you put on the positive side.
I think I would mention:
Having impromptu "No, I'M sorry" arguments with other women at the grocery store.
Answering the front door and being annoyed that it's another salesmen and then he calls you Ma'am and suddenly you feel really good.
Getting to wear what you want and expressing your mood that day with clothes and color. Kinda like having a party going on in your closet.
Not having people ask you to move heavy objects anymore, and if they do feeling comfortable saying, "I'm sorry, I'm just not that strong."
Being 55 and having boobs that gravity hasn't had time to work on yet. ;D
Not being male
In the context of the society I live in and the era, nothing really. The young transgender people today have it a bit easier, so there has been progress, but living in an anti trans society for 55 years has its consequences. The thing is, there are plenty folks that are dealing with inauthenticity outside of the LGBT realm. The real underlying problem is tribe and how it deals with those that are not like the others, those that don't conform. This is the root of shame and why we see so many addiction problems and other maladaptive behaviors. The power of the collective is often overlooked by many as it's destructive nature with the individual. Instead, it's because drugs or X are too available, people don't believe in the invisible man in the shy that doesn't exist, or it's TV or the latest music trend. They're missing the big picture. When people can't be and/or become their true selves, bad things happen.
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To me it is neither good nor bad. It is simply my state of being so I make of it what I can.
Being completely comfortable with ones self and not feeling like your faking your life.
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If you asked my mother, she'd probably praise the idea of not having to deal with a period. I might suggest that's a burden many would take on in gratitude...
In practicality, though, being fully in control of your hormones. There are a lot of people who are way, way high on testosterone / estrogen. It's more or less accepted in society that your hormone levels just are what they are, and no thought is really given to the idea there's a healthy range, or that some levels are just excessive - that's without even going into biological consequences, like how testosterone literally kills men.
I'd argue that not being psychologically ruled by your "hormonality" for lack of a better word is quite a strong benefit if you're a rational person and value not becoming a meme.
What doesn't kill you makes one stronger.
Have a closer understanding, relationship with God.
I think it is appreciating being a woman at 60 years old like no cis gender woman can at this point in their life. It is new, it is fresh, it is well earned. Oh yeah, it's awesome.
Moni
You don't have to deal with your period, although many of us, including me, would rather cross that out of the list.
You get to know both worlds, the male and the female one, and take the best of both.
In case of the more ambiguous/ androgynous ones, you aren't restricted to the male/female clothes section.
You don't have to deal with awkward erections.
Seeing life from both sides of the track.
Getting to be my true self.
Learning that most people are accepting.
Discovering reserves of self-confidence that I never knew I had.
For me, the best thing about being transgender is being able to finally do something about it. I am myself now and I feel good.
In a world that wants to control the destiny of others, at least I can have control of what gender I am. Other than that, I see no difference between myself and others.
As someone who is privileged in almost every other respect, I think being transgender taught me what it is like to feel "less than". It hasn't always been pleasant, but it strengthened my sense of empathy.
1) It's given me confidence I never had before (though I'm still pretty lacking). I think being trans teaches you courage, because you sure as hell need it.
2) Also, as rmaddy said, knocking a few privilege points off for those of us who are white AMAB able-bodied etc...
3) Being trans is beautiful.
4) Most people just feel okay, or less than, about who they are. Since we have to work so hard to become ourselves, we appreciate it more. I imagine it will be a sort of lifelong serene elation after I've transitioned.
5) It's a hell of an education. Most people are just caricatures of their birth gender (the way they sit, walk, talk etc.) and know nothing about the others. Sure, cis people CAN learn the stuff that we learn, but they almost never do.
6) I liked the point about being in control of our hormone levels!
7) (For trans women) You get to cheese off insecure misogynists by being a woman who's taller than them.
8) The community! Having a tribe! I'm only juuuust starting to get involved in the trans community, but it seems great.
9) In the future, if I manage to feminise my voice, I'll have a "party trick" of being able to do a guy voice/male impressions.
10) "Both sides now"/"Once a man, like the sea I raged" - you see life from both sides, which is a rare experience.
I'm sure there's more.
Being trans is awesome
Only negative I have is we're too hard on ourselves.
1) Having more confidence in yourself knowing who you are
2) Looking forward to transitioning
3) Loving yourself more
4) Being able to stand up for who you are
5) Understanding how others feel in the same situation
Great subject!
- Finally liking myself.
- Not having to pretend to be something I'm not all the time.
- One less reason (a big one for me) to feel depressed.
- Presenting as my true gender whenever I want.
- Have grown spiritually and gotten closer to the angels around me - I need their help more than ever!
- Jewelry.
- Shopping.
:icon_geekdance:
Quote from: Gertrude on September 10, 2017, 03:57:55 PM
The real underlying problem is tribe and how it deals with those that are not like the others, those that don't conform.
Let me try to spin this the other way in the glass half full direction by couching it in terms of an unique opportunity. This reminds me that being transgender we are faced with the ultimate opportunity: What Campbell called "The Hero's Journey." Yes, society is constantly looking for the mutant and it is painful to deal with a transphobic society but it is that very thing that society abhors and fears that gives one powers that others do not possess and thus growth is the result both on the personal and societal levels. Like Prometheus stealing fire from the gods. Like the Marvel Comic franchise X-Men.
Being transgender is a chance to make the hero's journey. To travel into the heart of darkness. Confronting the unseen world and unknown forces, and bring back to our tribe the gifts we find there. Even if they don't want to hear it and we end up a Cassandra crying in the wilderness, our truth falling upon deaf ears. The hero ultimately finds peace knowing she has done all she can.
Pro: having my wife by my side as I go through a second puberty.
Con: my wife having me by her side as I go through a second puberty.
I agree with all the + and - here, but given my time again I would welcome the periods and all the other crap cis females and TGs (some bits such as 2nd class humans) eventually have to put up with. But I'm not looking back - look forwards to the life you really need and can attain - works for me - and I cant avoid it. >:-) >:-)
XO and Hugz
Katie Again
Quote from: Janes Groove on September 11, 2017, 03:47:44 PM
Let me try to spin this the other way in the glass half full direction by couching it in terms of an unique opportunity. This reminds me that being transgender we are faced with the ultimate opportunity: What Campbell called "The Hero's Journey." Yes, society is constantly looking for the mutant and it is painful to deal with a transphobic society but it is that very thing that society abhors and fears that gives one powers that others do not possess and thus growth is the result both on the personal and societal levels. Like Prometheus stealing fire from the gods. Like the Marvel Comic franchise X-Men.
Being transgender is a chance to make the hero's journey. To travel into the heart of darkness. Confronting the unseen world and unknown forces, and bring back to our tribe the gifts we find there. Even if they don't want to hear it and we end up a Cassandra crying in the wilderness, our truth falling upon deaf ears. The hero ultimately finds peace knowing she has done all she can.
Jennifer Finney Boylan talks quite a bit about the heroes journey. Being different, being a Cassandra at times hasn't necessarily served me well. It's hard for me to be successful being half a person, but at the same time, there's a lot of risk taking the heroes journey. I've had to start over/ had career set backs a couple times and I don't fancy having to do it all over again by being the hero. I'm 55 and at a point in my life if I haven't done something remarkable, it ain't happening. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Joanne gets it...if I was 25 again and unattached, it would be different. I don't want to be unemployed, living in a room somewhere wondering where I'm going to find work, let alone money for hormones. Bless the people that do it and succeed, but I don't bounce like I used to.
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Ladies Night and the local pub? :)
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Quote from: RobynTx on September 11, 2017, 04:59:42 PM
Pro: having my wife by my side as I go through a second puberty.
Con: my wife having me by her side as I go through a second puberty.
That is soooo true!
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