Did anyone ever told you that you are not trans and that you are just a lesbian !!
my life always was misirable from my childhood till now and i never gave up or let anything make me think of that...but the fact that people keep telling me i'm not trans and jugde me really makes me think of it....i lived all my life fighting to be the man i'm ...i'm not a girly guy or something but i always have people telling me ( u are not trans) and most of the time it come from trans people !! the last one was last night from a trans women !!
this really make me so angry and depressed!!
i never been told that in real life i mean it's only on the net !
in real life people se me as that alpha macho man i always hear that i'm manly and all that! but when it comes to online chat i always hear this c**p !
i was talking to a man on a facebook page ! he don't know me he dont know i'm trans or something or saw my pic! and he said you are a F ! idk why that happens all the time !
and a trabs woman last night ( i know her from a really long time) she was like ( u talk like a lesbian) and that i'm not trans!
also a trans women on facebook commented on my fb pic ( are u trying to be a real man or a play toy)
am i the only one that get that?! or you guys too ! do men suppose to act certain way o be called a man !! cant understand this stupid world !!
We often give our friends and family such a good projection of the person they want, that when we show them our authentic selves, they just can't process it.
According to my mum I had toy guns when I was little, so apparently there is no way I could be trans, duh!
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Hi pheonix
I'm Laurie. I see you have been around for quite some time but I could not find where you were provided the info and links we usually give hewer folk so I will provide them below.
Laurie
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If you tell people online that you are a trans man, and some people say that you are not, their only intent could be to hurt you. I don't know why, but some people like to hurt other people just because they can. Perhaps it is a power thing. I don't practice what I preach, but it might be better if we didn't give those people the satisfaction of knowing that they have hurt us.
Well... I mean, I get how that would be irritating, but does it really matter? It sounds to me like a lot of what's going down is people just ribbing you to watch you blow up. Reacting poorly is only stoking the flames.
If someone's overstepping your boundaries that much, do the old 'snip snip' and cut them out.
In life, it doesn't matter what you do or who you are, there will always be someone around to criticize something or everything about you. If Mother Theresa were to be resurrected, someone would want to punch her square in the jaw and she was a living saint.
When I came out to my dad he told me I wasn't trans. He told me it was a phase, he mentioned he knew other people who de-transitioned, and told me I was just not right in the head. To be honest, it doesn't matter what anyone else says because they're not the ones experiencing it. You have to take time for yourself and really ask yourself how you feel. Do you feel uncomfortable because of an outside factor? Do you feel uncomfortable because of how society expects you to be or because of how you feel like you should be?
It's healthy and important to question yourself so you don't make any mistakes and you understand the meaning behind your intentions, however don't let their doubt sway you. If you determine that you are transgender, then that is perfectly fine and what anyone else says doesn't matter. It's hard for other people to understand what transgender people are going through because not everyone goes through it.
Telling you that "what you feel is wrong" is rude. I would not get into a fight over such things. I would cut them out of my life. If they are on a chat, can you ignore or silence them? The silence function is there on some chats for a reason, to cut bullies out.
You know who you are. Don't let anyone else tell you who you are not.
Tony
I have been told by my brother that I am not a man. But he would tell every transman that he is not a man and every transwoman that she is not a woman. He also told gay and bi classmates of his that they are "disgusting abominations"... you get the hint.
I have never once heard someone question that I am trans though. Most don't know as I am stealth anyway.
On the internet people I have written to have always rightfully assumed that I am a man even long before I came out as trans.
And I have written with many cis-males who have all written in a different style by the way, there was no clear pattern how they wrote.
I have to say that I am not on social media and don't have any pictures of me on the internet and have no interest in that at all so I can't share any experience regarding that.
However you shouldn't let those random people online get to you. What they are saying doesn't mean a thing and you shouldn't let it affect you in the slightest.
Honestly, if someone told me I wasn't a transguy but a lesbian and I would be bored enough I would only ridicule them getting some fun time for me out of their ignorance especially since I have never had any interest in women at all :D
Quote from: Corax on September 24, 2017, 05:26:19 AM
I have been told by my brother that I am not a man. But he would tell every transman that he is not a man and every transwoman that she is not a woman. He also told gay and bi classmates of his that they are "disgusting abominations"... you get the hint.
I have never once heard someone question that I am trans though. Most don't know as I am stealth anyway.
On the internet people I have written to have always rightfully assumed that I am a man even long before I came out as trans.
And I have written with many cis-males who have all written in a different style by the way, there was no clear pattern how they wrote.
I have to say that I am not on social media and don't have any pictures of me on the internet and have no interest in that at all so I can't share any experience regarding that.
However you shouldn't let those random people online get to you. What they are saying doesn't mean a thing and you shouldn't let it affect you in the slightest.
Honestly, if someone told me I wasn't a transguy but a lesbian and I would be bored enough I would only ridicule them getting some fun time for me out of their ignorance especially since I have never had any interest in women at all :D
My ignorant uncle used to tell me I wasn't trans. He told me I was just a very gay boy who didn't have the balls ( I know.haha) to deal with it. He thinks trans people are all gay but don't want to be so they change genders. Looks like my dad got all the brains in that family.
Nobody's ever said that, and if they did I'd look them in the eye and ask them if they know my business better than I do.
But it sounds more to me it's a certain type of person who'd even open their mouth to say something of that kind that's the cause. Not a general thing. I don't spend time around people who irritate me so maybe that's why I never heard it.
A few of my family members tell me that I'm not transgender, that I'm just confused or a Tom boy. My parents love to tell me those things. They've never told me I'm just a lesbian though since they wouldn't be happy about that either. At this point though they know that I'm trans and going to complete my transition. They're just in denial about it and try to undermine my plans and confidence. I guess they think that if they make me start to doubt whether or not I'm really trans I won't transition and they'll get to keep their daughter. It's kind of sad in a way.
I suspect the people who are telling you that you aren't trans are doing so for the same reasons and probably just out of maliciousness too. Either way they're trying to undermine the confidence and security you have in your identity. It's hard to say why a trans woman of all people would do that to you too but some people are just jerks, trans or not. I wonder if she has the attitude that males in general are no good and can't understand why someone would want to transition to become male since after all she may have struggled a lot with having a male body like you did with having a female one. Maybe she's projecting those angry feelings onto you and taking it out on you but it's hard to say without actually knowing her. I would just stay away from those people.
Nothing better than family...or worse.
Quote from: Julia1996 on September 24, 2017, 11:46:29 AM
My ignorant uncle used to tell me I wasn't trans. He told me I was just a very gay boy who didn't have the balls ( I know.haha) to deal with it. He thinks trans people are all gay but don't want to be so they change genders. Looks like my dad got all the brains in that family.
this made me laugh a little too hard. Also... What does your uncle say about the men who liked guys before and after transition, or the girls who liked girls before and after transition? (IE straight to gay. *gasp*) Oh. Oh. Wait... he must think 'those people' don't exist. *snicker* (If thats the case... why do we have to pay bills?)
Quote from: MeTonie on September 24, 2017, 01:03:06 AM
Telling you that "what you feel is wrong" is rude. I would not get into a fight over such things. I would cut them out of my life. If they are on a chat, can you ignore or silence them? The silence function is there on some chats for a reason, to cut bullies out.
You know who you are. Don't let anyone else tell you who you are not.
Tony
Tony's right. As are the other people previously posted. The block/remove functions on chats/social media/etc are there for a reason. To protect you from that kind of crap. Use it. Admittedly it takes a lot for me to block someone, but the surefire way to get on my block list are the following:
-Call me a hypochondriac or a hypocrite
-Insult/harm my family
-Insult/harm my belief systems/faith (this is actually more specific but I won't get into it)
-Insult/harm my friends
-Tell me how to feel/act/etc (again this gets more specific, but basically if its detrimental to my wellbeing and I recognize it, you're blocked)
The thing is, it is so easy these days to cyberbully. People literally sit behind their computers, look at something, and say the first thing that pops into their head, no filter. And then others sit there, and go out of their way to make people feel bad. And still others pretend to be someone they're not. All of these times, people forget that while they are hiding behind their devices, on the other side is a real human being. The internet has become a place to not only connect with others, but also forget how to connect with others. Even those of us who grew up without the internet, or didn't have the internet till later childhood, many have forgotten the things we were raised with to help us connect with people and taught to be decent human beings.
So in other words... don't listen to them. You know who you are. How you feel is not wrong. You're every bit as valid as the next transperson.
And as for speech, hun, everyone talks differently. I'm not sure how on earth lesbians talk, to be honest, whatever that means. But what I do know is there is no such thing as 'talking like a lesbian or a gay or a queer or a trans' or whatever. There is talking like a human being... and our speech is more dependent on our locale than our orientation or gender identity. So screw them. (I could go on a whole long tirade about the sociology behind it, but I won't... LOL)
No one ever said it to - and if they did, I would just laugh. If they actually knew me, they would know that I am. Otherwise, they don't know jack and are just trying to get a rise.