Today is one those days for me... Most things are fine and I'm temporarily in Sydney, Australia, which is a beautiful city and a lot of people would love the opportunity to come here. Yet here I am feeling terrible, sad and lonely. Do you guys have any strategies or tips to minimize depression?
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For me I attempt to ignore it and listen to music
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Before HRT I coped with heavy exercise. That usually kept me too preoccupied and tired for depression to take hold. So perhaps you can find something you like that fully engages your mind and fills all the extra time.
When I was unable to continue exercising because I developed chronic exhaustion I coped with depression poorly mainly by drinking a lot every night. That was not a good solution.
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Quote from: Deborah on September 23, 2017, 11:37:46 PM
Before HRT I coped with heavy exercise. That usually kept me too preoccupied and tired for depression to take hold. So perhaps you can find something you like that fully engages your mind and fills all the extra time.
When I was unable to continue exercising because I developed chronic exhaustion I coped with depression poorly mainly by drinking a lot every night. That was not a good solution.
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Yeah drinking seems counterproductive. I get even more depressed after being drunk... I'm even afraid to drink one beer now.
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Weight training I used to put all my negative energy and anger into that, but since taking hormones I feel much better and I am also on slow dose of ssri,s , but before those I would remind myself that it doesn't last forever.. and one day I observed how lucky I was in relationship to 3 tragic things I saw in one day,
I found it helps to get out and about... if you are in Sydney there must be loads of interesting things to do see
maybe go for a tour climbing over the top of the Harbour bridge....
I do understand how sometimes one cannot see the forest for the trees... I've been there... but it does help to get out and look around 😊
You can try my tried and true method. Box it up and bury it in a distance dark corner. YMMV
Along the lines of what Laurie said, but more practical. What I do now is:
1. Write on a sheet of paper what I'm depressed about, then I just rip it up real good and flush it down the toilet, or you can burn it, but the point being, just rip/burn the paper, until its unrecognizable to you or anybody else.
Before hrt, I used to weight train and exercise heavily(i.e.cardio/weight bearing exercise).
Nowadays, I just go out with my girlfriend and people wonder how I handle my depression so well. I mainly don't tell them anymore, since they think I'm BSing them.
You'd be surprised that it works.
Quote from: SonadoraXVX on September 24, 2017, 12:50:14 AM
Along the lines of what Laurie said, but more practical. What I do now is:
1. Write on a sheet of paper what I'm depressed about, then I just rip it up real good and flush it down the toilet, or you can burn it, but the point being, just rip/burn the paper, until its unrecognizable to you or anybody else.
Before hrt, I used to weight train and exercise heavily(i.e.cardio/weight bearing exercise).
Nowadays, I just go out with my girlfriend and people wonder how I handle my depression so well. I mainly don't tell them anymore, since they think I'm BSing them.
You'd be surprised that it works.
Good tips Sonadora (where are you from by the way? That's a word in Spanish). I've tried both routes of talking to people and venting and also not saying anything and trying to ignore. It seems like a balance of both works the best... When I talk too much about it, it's almost like I cannot forget it and it makes me feel worse but then if I don't say anything at all for too long it's like it's bottled up inside and also feels bad. Then I talk to someone about it and feel a little relieved. I'll try what you said about the piece of paper.
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LMAO Don't bother with my method it doesn't work.
What it does, is make you irritable, angry, sullen and those are the high points. I've got bottled up issues going back probably 50 years and probably more. Every so often something comes up that makes it fresh, and again it becomes a devil to put away. Every time you try to shove it into that box, it gets harder and harder and the box gets fuller and fuller. I think my box has ripped the seams open as I can't seem to get things to stay in it anymore. So I try to fake it, but I'm not an actor so that's not working either.
Laurie
When I'm depressed I go for a walk. A long walk, atleast 1 hour. I prefer a walk in the forest. It gives me peace in mind.
If I cannot go for a walk I listen to music. Or go to sleep. When I wake up I usually feel better.
My depressions usually don't last long anymore.
I did have a serious depression 10 years ago that turned into psychosis. I was ill for 5 years. Meds AND walks/exercise made me come back to life.
Quote from: Laurie on September 24, 2017, 01:09:49 AM
LMAO Don't bother with my method it doesn't work.
What it does, is make you irritable, angry, sullen and those are the high points. I've got bottled up issues going back probably 50 years and probably more. Every so often something comes up that makes it fresh, and again it becomes a devil to put away. Every time you try to shove it into that box, it gets harder and harder and the box gets fuller and fuller. I think my box has ripped the seams open as I can't seem to get things to stay in it anymore. So I try to fake it, but I'm not an actor so that's not working either.
Laurie
Aww Laurie I'm sorry to hear that, yes I believe repressing things is never effective.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on September 24, 2017, 02:22:18 AM
Aww Laurie I'm sorry to hear that, yes I believe repressing things is never effective.
Some people tell me admitting to being depressed is a good thing, Nicki. I've decided to talk to my therapist on Thursday about it. Though I don't know just what I'm going to say or how to say it. Atm Thursday seems a long ways from today but it will get here soon enough I guess.
I know ice cream !!
I have a dog that is my therapy. When I get depressed I take him for a walk, or play with him. Seeing his enjoyment usually brings me out of my funk. If I don't feel like doing either of those and just sleep or lay in front of tv depressed, he picks up on it. It won't be long till he's in my lap, just giving me love. Animals are the best therapy, imo.
Bari Jo
I relied heavily upon in the past drinking too much as well as eating too much to try to shut off the noise of both the depression and GD. Or are they a set?
The best technique I have these days, like MeTonie said, is long walks, usually in as natural of a setting as possible. In other words not the hustle and bustle of city sidewalks. Back country roads when I lived in a rural area. A city park, railroad tracks or mostly dead industrial areas. In either case there is plenty of "Wonderment" around to get my mind thinking on other things, as well as seems to quietly process in the background what is really eating at me and what my options are to get over this big hump.
Depression= me lately too. I dunno since I discovered being transgender I was happy for a while and then
I got depressed. I started eating sweets to help myself feel better I do not suggest that as a way to cover depression.
I should not be doing that it's the first time in my life I have used food to help with depression. :(
I use meditation music sometimes I should start using it again. Sometimes I am messed up and want to be depressed I am not sure if that makes sense.
Pre-transition, I dealt with it by being outdoors as much as possible, walking, running, cycling or hiking. These days, HRT and RLE seem to have taken care of it.
I don't get depressed nearly as much since I transitioned but it still happens sometimes. To cheer myself up I just play a practical joke on my brother. That's always good for a laugh or two.
Lately I go full-on OCD mode on school work, not just for outright depression but also just to make it through the day without too many excessive thoughts about my situation that may spiral into depression. (Since it is pretty much all I think about at this point and is why I am on these forums every second I can be.)
I actually wind up getting a lot done because of it sometimes oddly. Used to lose myself in video games in the same way, but that was a lot less productive. Now I wind up way ahead in all of my courses. (The problem really kicks in when I run out of stuff to do.)
Put some ear phones in and go for a run or ride ur bike etc... Just get outside Girl!
I sometimes walk in the park or do some cardio to wear myself down. A good cry also helps, prevents me from trying to bottle it up. I also find other distractions such as playing video games, reading a book, or throwing on a good movie (usually a comedy).
Been so depressed up and down lately. I feel angry, then sad then I am ok. I guess that is normal before transitioning
So confusing. I was happy for a while and it went away :(
Also wanted to ask people if it is normal when you find out your transgender to not want to look at your body?
I also pretend I am already a boy sometime you know like pretend I don't have breasts anymore not sure if anyone had that before.
Quote from: MaxForever on September 24, 2017, 04:41:33 PM
So confusing. I was happy for a while and it went away :(
This happened to me as well. I was excited for the first 2 months. I'm not anymore. I'm mostly sad and confused and upset about transitioning and live in general. It's like there's a dark cloud over me.
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In Soviet Devlynistan, you don't cope with depression. Depression copes with you. :laugh:
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on September 23, 2017, 11:32:49 PM
Today is one those days for me... Most things are fine and I'm temporarily in Sydney, Australia, which is a beautiful city and a lot of people would love the opportunity to come here. Yet here I am feeling terrible, sad and lonely. Do you guys have any strategies or tips to minimize depression?
In the evening - Walking. Socializing. Drinking alcohol (outside your room - in a bar, or at a cafe).
During the day - Shopping. Spending money is always more fun than earning it.
In the morning - coffee, and going out for a breakfast. Seeing how a city and life around you wakes up is entertaining to me
I try to surround myself with people that add to my life rather then detract. When depression kicks in I talk to them and that usually fixes it, when I'm on my own I look at the distance I've came, and where I'm going and how each day my choices and actions are inching me closer to that goal.
But seriously have a couple of people you can really confide in, that love you for you.....they can make all the difference.
Going to see a friend today hopefully that will make me feel better. She has been a friend since highschool and very supportive.
Quote from: MaxForever on September 24, 2017, 04:41:33 PM
Been so depressed up and down lately. I feel angry, then sad then I am ok. I guess that is normal before transitioning
So confusing. I was happy for a while and it went away :(
Also wanted to ask people if it is normal when you find out your transgender to not want to look at your body?
I also pretend I am already a boy sometime you know like pretend I don't have breasts anymore not sure if anyone had that before.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on September 24, 2017, 04:56:22 PM
This happened to me as well. I was excited for the first 2 months. I'm not anymore. I'm mostly sad and confused and upset about transitioning and live in general. It's like there's a dark cloud over me.
If I could reach through the internet and hug you both I would. :-*
(Though on consideration, that sounds like a scene from a Japanese horror movie. Maybe arms coming out of the internet is a bad idea.)
Max, I've had the same reaction when I never really had any major sense of dysphoria before. Since coming out to myself I've become increasingly unhappy looking at my body, particularly the hair, when it just wasn't something I thought about before. (Though I did have general unhappiness about my weight prior, it didn't compare to this feeling.)
HRT solved a level of depression and anxiety that has not returned. A new sort of depression took some of its place, driven i think in part by all of the change and the challenges. Here is how i cope:
Pharmaceuticals
Lots of friends and keep busy with them, family and boyfriend
Therapy
Shopping
Writing poetry
playing sports
I thought at first it was the meds .....but its the hrt that does it for me im having to go off hrt for a procedure and i can notice the difference
How do you cope with depression? My therapist got me on an antidepressant. It helps but the thoughts still come to visit just less intense. Then friends tell me to stop talking like that. I guess they don't want to hear how I feel.
Laurie, I'll bet they just don't know what to say or do, and feel a bit awkward... it's hard to say I've built a blanket fort, join me and we'll read books, but if that's what we need to feel better in the situation, so be it - have a look at Robothugs.com (it's on tumblr too) for comic stories based on the authors own tales of being gender nonconforming, and also depressed. Tumblr comics are one of my feel goods.
Remind yourself of the days that were not so bad, ok and quite good - there are lots of those even if the 'amazing' seems never to happen.
So depression - generally I can't cope. There, it is, in a nutshell. The meds, even moods out, reducing the highs, preventing the bigger lows, and slowing any swing from one to another. This time round, sleep is proving a key to help, as is getting my anxiety under control. I'm mid way through preliminary medical tests at the moment, (don't worry, I'm not about to pull a Cindy), about which I am concerned but not anxious. I feel at the moment I can do this (nothing like a crisis to rally a c-ptsd riddled body back to functioning, especially following parentification) - however, I reserve the right to fall apart if more drastic measures are suggested.
Seeing a therapist this time round is helping. A lot. And we are starting a diagnosis trail too, soon. From that I'm looking specifically to cope better, and maybe even get to know 'me' somewhat.
(Hugs) even from internet strangers always help a little, as does knowing that someone has listened, and does understand.
Rowan
Quote from: Laurie on January 03, 2018, 06:42:46 PM
How do you cope with depression? My therapist got me on an antidepressant. It helps but the thoughts still come to visit just less intense. Then friends tell me to stop talking like that. I guess they don't want to hear how I feel.
Antidepressants are truly a godsend. They have helped me keep my sanity the past couple of months.
Thank you Rowan and Nicki.
I did say the pills do help and I am talking with my therapist regularly. I feel better generally but pills can't do it all. It is sad to think some people feel so much worse than I was. The torment for them must be unbearable. I know it's been bad enough for me but in comparison I'm just a drama queen. I've gotten a glimpse of that, enough that I think I can understand at least part of their despair and hopelessness.
laurie
Having been on prozac, cetalopram and Welbuterin for thirty years. Nothing works like Estradiol.
I write in my diary when it's getting really bad. If it's less severe I try and make sure I do a lot of exercise and eat lots of fruit, veg and fish. X
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Moderate exercise outdoors in the sun.
Vit. D.
Change of scenery.
New clothes.