I do, with some girls that now also know about myself, and I dunno how to not feel ashamed of this.
I also feel to say I am sorry, but that feels to me a bit "naive", as I am supposing they are fully believing that I am a girl indeed.
Well, I could also be attracted to women, and in that case, well, I feel uncomfortable knowing that they could feel uncomfortable with receiving attentions from me, that I am not a boy but a girl.
I am curious if someone has any experience in this direction.
Thanks everyone!
Inviato dal mio KIW-L21 utilizzando Tapatalk
???? Never actually wanted to "mate" with young girlfriends was most content with just "cuddling", sorta like a thirsty vampire who was hell bent on absorbing up the "yin/yang" of their feminine emotional energy.
I suppose I sexually frustrated a few but 'guilty & ashamed'?? Not really . . .
I'm not exactly sure what sort of "behavior" you are referring to. BF/GF situations? Being a Horn-Dog?
I can speak to BF/GF since I never was a horn-dog. I always made friends easier with girls and preferred to be with them. As I got older close friendships, in a few cases, developed into BF/GF. I was attracted to women back and not at all to guys, even though I had sexual fantasies about guys and not about women, except for being one.
I don't feel guilty or ashamed about how things progressed. I was well aware of my transness. Yet there was this deep attraction and affection towards the women that was and still is justifiably called love. There can be no shame or guilt with wanting to have love and expressing it to another.
When fighting the battle against the Trans-Beast the best you know how to, which is usually denial and suppression by the force of will, you may wind up in a long term relationship. You firmly believe you have the GD under control, mostly. Sure you may dream of actually being a woman some day, ain't gonna happen in this lifetime. Life goes on, she finds out and.... the world comes crashing down. You honestly thought you could or had it beat. "Justifiable shame and guilt? Debatable.
For me in a LTR of some 30 years at the time, my wife knew of my gender "Issues" from about day 1. Wife #1 taught me that lesson. Fiancee #2 bolted as wedded date setting pressures mounted because I wasn't a "real man". Oh how I hate the "You're so different from other guys" line. Anyway.... Eight years ago the point came I needed to take the Trans-Beast on for real. I joined a support group and knew absolutely I needed to be there by the end of the 3rd meeting. I also knew it may be almost too late to tell my wife what was up. The pain and anguish I inflected I plead Guilty to. I'll spare the details but only to say I knew 30 years ago that in the long run there is likely to be major issues with her that I hoped would not happen, just as she must have hoped that my "Just a CD" status would never change after 2 previous transition experiments.
Shame & Guilt are powerful forces, especially when you are "Different". They both love to make you unhappy, even worse is to get you feel you do not deserve any happiness or joy. I still have to work at making sure they do not run, as well as ruin, my life again
As a man, I've done a lot of things I wished I hadn't. I knew since I was about 6 that I was trans. When I was trying to be something I wasn't(man) I did lots of wild things that I now regret, I slept with soo many women, can't give ya a number didn't keep count. It was all just a way to keep my mind off the sadness.
You can't change the past, we only have control over the now. Haven't ran into past girls that I've been with since I've transitioned, wow that might be weird, bad thing is I probably won't remember who they were. I do wish I hadn't done some of what did, it is what it is.
Abbie