Okay so I know that by the title it sounds bad, however, hear me out. I am (soon to be) a 17 year old male. I have been questioning my gender for awhile now and I am looking to explore myself more now. Not just that, but I argue with my parents a good amount, get stressed over little comments people make to me, and am not as happy as I could be. My plan is to go away for a week or something in the spring. I have a job and car so I will be safe and have food. I know I could get away for just a week where I can be free to get the happy me out. I feel like it would be good for me but I don't know what the cons would be other than my family but I would leave a not letting them know that I'm perfectly okay. I really need to explore myself and get away from everything. Any thoughts?
Spring is quite a ways away for those of us north of the equator. Chances are that you probably won't wait that long. Stay in school. It's very important.
Could you wait until you are 18 to get away? When you can get your own apartment or house, you will be away from family for as long as you want. You did say you have a job and a car. Save your money. You will need it.
It's not a good idea to leave without letting your parents know that you are leaving. If they are not aware you are gone, they are likely to call the police and report you as missing. This will waste a good deal of police time attempting to track you down and could get you in trouble with the police a well. Until you reach the age of 18 your parents are responsible for you and if they take this seriously they need to be aware of the basics of your plan.
You should talk to your parents, you can either say you are planning a trip or staying at a friend's house. Then make sure you keep them informed that you are OK. And of course then go back home. One week is a short and good time to try and leave the noise behind. But don't just disappear, that's an awful thing to do to your parents.
Quote from: Britt116 on October 02, 2017, 09:42:12 PM
Okay so I know that by the title it sounds bad, however, hear me out. I am (soon to be) a 17 year old male. I have been questioning my gender for awhile now and I am looking to explore myself more now. Not just that, but I argue with my parents a good amount, get stressed over little comments people make to me, and am not as happy as I could be. My plan is to go away for a week or something in the spring. I have a job and car so I will be safe and have food. I know I could get away for just a week where I can be free to get the happy me out. I feel like it would be good for me but I don't know what the cons would be other than my family but I would leave a not letting them know that I'm perfectly okay. I really need to explore myself and get away from everything. Any thoughts?
So If I read between the lines you want to go somewhere safe, private and try out a few things to see how you feel. I think that is a really great idea. So long as you are safe and don't scare your parents then I can't see too much harm coming out of it. In fact it might help you start to clarify for yourself how you feel.
Keep you parents in the loop so they know you are happy and safe and it will probably work out...you don't need to tell them why. If however you doing this is going to cause you huge issues because they won't be agreeable then you might want to have a think and see if there is another way to accomplish what you want without getting into strife with your parents.
I'm in agreement with the others but will add one thing: Trust.
If you just leave, even leaving a note explaining things, you will probably damage any trust they have in you. Everyday after you return, they will wonder if you'll "disappear" again.
Please let them know. They might even be willing to help. People might surprise you.
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Thanks all! If I do it, I am planning on writing a note or something like that so they don't assume the worst... probably should have specified that.
I think that maybe running away, even for a short while, is not the proper way to handle this. Say you do go through with it, you'll still have to go back to your home and probably feel as frustrated as you were before leaving. No one attains self-actualization in a week. I think that you can work this out while staying at home and without deceiving your parents. Deceit is toxic and has the potential to do so much harm.
Do you have a therapist? Talk this out with them. Spend time with trusted friends and work through these things.
I'm deadly serious when I say lying and running way is a bad, bad, bad idea. And even though you may feel like you're burning to leave, it is no worth damaging your relationship with your family. If you'd like someone to bounce alternative ideas off of, I'm here. I have experience living on a household that was... stifling, to say the least.
Please... reconsider.