I was recently nominated to represent my college in a state wide award. I have chance at a $500 prize and being a keynote speaker at the award banquet.
This is my statement...
ACT Statement
October 3, 2017
Kaylin Clarke: Transforming Lives Award
Like everyone entering college for the first time, I hoped to leave with the knowledge and confidence I'd need to succeed after graduation. What I discovered at South Seattle College, however, was more than just an education and a support system: I found myself.
I am a student in South's welding program, and what initially attracted me to welding was its ability to fuse together something entirely new from pieces that at one point felt disjointed. As someone who has lived the majority of my life identifying as a man, it echoes my journey. It's the idea that our identities aren't permanent; that they are a meld of our experiences, and have the ability to be melted down and rebuilt at any point in our lives.
As a freshman in high school in Spokane, WA, I was known for being a star athlete. My sporting days - and military career plans - came to a screeching halt, however, when I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis, an autoimmune disease that, in simplest terms, blocks messages sent from the brain to the muscles. At 17, I could hardly move and resorted to sitting at home.
It wasn't until later in my twenties that I started to realize I was transgender, and wasn't truly being myself. Being naive to the LGBTQ+ community, I felt ashamed for having questioned my identity. I started self-medicating with alcohol and slowly started destroying my life. It took receiving a DUI to sort of wake me up from my daze, and it's by the grace of God I am still here today to share this story with you.
Last year, just before my birthday, my mother reached out to me with a news article that talked about the high demand for welding positions, and highlighted South's welding program. It was this article that sparked something in me. I started researching earning potential, availability in the intensive program and funding sources for college, and took a leap of faith knowing that only my tuition was covered by programs like the Basic Food, Employment & Training (BFET) program and Opportunity Grants.
As mid-quarter began, I started to feel my anxiety rising. While I was successful in class, I was still very unhappy. Then I came across a sign announcing a "Trans 101" seminar. All those repressed thoughts came flooding back. November 17, 2016, is a day that I will always remember; I came to the realization that I was transgender. I was extremely nervous and somewhat scared, especially being enrolled in a technical program that is primarily male dominated.
I soon reached out to Sol Damaris Mendez, the program manager for South's Department of Equity, Diversity & Inclusion. She was so understanding. I was terrified, but she just sat with me and listened to my story. She let me take my time; and when I was done I felt so free having admitted to someone who I really was.
Next I reached out to my welding instructor, Doug Rupik, trying to be polite and respectful to other people's views, I offered to switch class times. He responded with overwhelming support.
As I started my second quarter, I felt more and more uncomfortable about things like using the men's restroom. Then, the most amazing email came through from South. The email outlined South's stance on equality and inclusivity on campus. Even in light of the political drama concerning which bathrooms trans individuals could use. This was probably the best piece of news that I could have received; it allowed me to be my true self as I began my third quarter.
It has been the college's acceptance of who I am as an individual, that I matter, and that I have something to offer my community that has allowed me to persevere through my transition and financial struggles. Now I'm doing something I never thought I would, seeking out a bachelor's degree. In fall 2017, I applied for and was accepted into South's Bachelor of Applied Science program in Sustainable Building Science Technology.
Don't let fear hold you back from your dreams. Whether that is obtaining a college degree for the first time in your life or admitting to yourself and others that you have been living your life as a lie. Dream fearlessly, dream big and seek out the people that are going to support that dream...then prepare yourself for the best fight of your life. It is all worth it in the end.
If you made it this far thank you for reading.
Loves [emoji182][emoji179][emoji182]
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Awww, that's so nice the way things worked out for you.
And its similar to what I want to do.
I want to be able to work metal, as in for restoration of damaged and old cars.
It something I was highly considering until my family all put me off it for being trans.
I must really think about what I want, your story here is quiet inspiring
Hugs, Rachel
Wow Alora,
That brought tears to my eyes. It's very noble to admit your flaws and shortcomings, like you did with the DUI. Your perseverance is inspiring. I'm grateful for you that you live in a progressive area like Seattle and that your Mom gave you that news article.
I've had a similar experience being in a masculine Industry (construction management.) However since it wasn't my passion and I have kids to think about, after discussing it with my advisors I switched to the nursing program. I start my LPN classes in the spring. I have very similar concerns, as though I don't leave the house unless I'm "en femme" I haven't had the permanent hair removal done. So 4-5 days a week in a row, it'll be hard to hide a shadow. I'm just not that good at makeup. Which bathroom to use scares the crap out of me. I don't pass for cisgender male anymore, so unless I doll it up I look like an obvious crossdresser. I don't currently have a vehicle and have to bus from a very bad neighborhood. Getting clocked by someone that has the ability and desire to hurt me or my family is terrifying.
I'm not letting those fears hold me back though, not anymore. Congrats on acceptance into the BAS program. I hope you with that competition and get to speak at the banquet. Stay safe and strong.
HUGS!
Fantastic talk Alora.
Well done.
You have made a major achievement and shown incredible character and fortitude.
Cindy
Hi Alora,
You have made some wonderful progress not only in pursuing your career but in life's lessons. Good job girl. Your story is well written and well told also.
I see that we have a couple events in common. Nov 2016 was when I discovered my crossdressing was only a symptom of the real issue meaning that I discovered I was transgender. Another is that like you I had attempted to self medication my living problems away with drugs and alcohol. And like you it did not work. Almost 18 years ago I got my first and only DUI. My sobriety date is 2/2/99 and I gave up drugs almost 4 years before that. Although I never actually attempted suicide 1994 found me sitting in some woods with a shotgun barrel in my mouth. Btw, those living problem I tried to self medicate away... I'm still trying to deal with those along with some newer ones
I think that's about all of our thing we have in common. I'm a bit older than you but these living problems know no age boundaries. My life is winding down and yours is just beginning. Keep on the road you are on and you will be okay.
Hugs,
Laurie
Your story is very inspiring Alora. Way to go girl! You'll do wonderful!
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Quote from: Rachel_Christina on October 06, 2017, 01:28:30 AM
Awww, that's so nice the way things worked out for you.
And its similar to what I want to do.
I want to be able to work metal, as in for restoration of damaged and old cars.
It something I was highly considering until my family all put me off it for being trans.
I must really think about what I want, your story here is quiet inspiring
Hugs, Rachel
I will admit, I was really nervous and somewhat scared. But, you become a bit of the little sister of the shop. As long as you can do you job and do it well, the guys just leave you alone. At least that's been my experience, and when the guys do flip you ->-bleeped-<-, make sure you throw it right back into their face!!
Loves
Alora, blessings upon you for your supporters, of whom I number myself. You could never ask for better nor more.
But I still would be gratified were you my daughter.
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Yeah you must have to still be able to stand up for yourself if the boys get cheeky.
I will see what I do. It is definitely scary the thought of any of these type courses as a trans girl.
It's something I always wanted though
Quote from: Rachel_Christina on October 07, 2017, 01:52:54 AM
Yeah you must have to still be able to stand up for yourself if the boys get cheeky.
I will see what I do. It is definitely scary the thought of any of these type courses as a trans girl.
It's something I always wanted though
Now I can't remember where you're from, UK I think right? It's all about perception. It's ok to be timid and scared on the inside, just remember be strong and confident on the outside.
I honestly do see a hint of your former self. I see a beautiful young woman. Kinda remind me of Gal Gabot. Just be a strong independent woman. When the guys ask if they can help, "Thanks, but I got this!" Then when you really need help they'll respect you more. Show them you know what you're doing, that you understand the concept as a whole, but maybe you need some help with your technique. I swear it'll be alright. And if it's not, I'll come show those boys what's up!!! Rosie Riveter style!!!
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