So, I guess this is a question of whether or not to come out at all post-op. I've read other threads about this particular topic, but I haven't quite reached a conclusion. When's the best time to come out if someone decides to? I have this sense of looming guilt about not telling guys even when they hit on me, but that could very well just be me.
Anyway, for background, I'm not post-op yet. It could be a thing in the near future. MTF. I pass in a weird, tomboyish way. I'm 6'2" with broad shoulders, an athletic lifestyle, short hair and rarely any makeup. Other than that, I have a very feminine face, a husky-but-feminine voice and not much that would distinguish me from a female athlete. So, I do indeed pass.
I'm starting to date now and I'm feeling really lost here. Guys bolt or fade away once I tell them. And if they don't, they stop treating me like a woman, the parts of me they found unique and attractive become disgusting tells. I'm wondering if I should at all? I tend avoid sex for as long as possible anyway.
Welcome to Susan's Place. Normally I would advice you to come out when your relationship becomes serious. There is an additional issue in some countries where there are laws against hiding your status.
I leave it to you to decide what is serious. Personally I define it as the point where a strong emotional attachment is developing and there is a risk of hurting them if it's delayed much longer.
Under no condition should you be telling everybody as you are entitled to your privacy however you also shouldn't be keeping secrets from a serious partner.
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Ah, that is the general consensus. Being in stealth is pretty complicated, I guess.
I guess the things I need to consider are my partner's feelings, my own safety and time spent. Ideally, I'd wait until we start dating, but without sex that can be complicated. Things will probably be easier post-SRS, as there will be less of a chance for being found out too soon. Developing an emotional connection is a priority.
Thank you for the welcome! I hope I can get a few different perspectives.