I remember, as a guy, I hated the way men's clothing tried to make me look like a box -- baggy jeans combined with tent-sized shirts tended to obliterate any contours my body had. I felt like Sponge-Bob. I suppose if you're supposed to be a male "hunk," the feeling is, the bulkier the clothing, the better. I sometimes wondered what the point of dieting and exercize was if no one could see my body in average clothing. I also wondered if the fact that gay men wore tighter clothing caused straight men to avoid that -- homophobia in the U.S. dictating what men could wear. And what's that grey or blue suit and tie UNIFORM about? Even worse was going to formal affairs where men had to wear penguin look-alike tuxedos. Oh, you could wear a colored shirt -- big deal! I'd look around at the variety of women's clothing and wonder, where was men's imagination in outfitting their own clothing? Where was men's lib?
As a woman, I've been almost as surprised at women wear. Being 5'8 1/2," I haven't cared to wear high heels much less mid-height heels. Of course, part of it is the logic and comfort that I was taught as a male child -- do what's comfortable. I might have worn short dresses at a teen or twenties M2F, but at my age (54), I feel I have too much cellulite on my legs. I had the hangup, as I transitioned, of wanting things permanent, so so-called "permanent" makeup was desirable over sitting at a mirror every morning -- again, maybe the logical male upbringing kicking in. When I transitioned, I tried to find average women's pants and shirts rather than overtly feminine attire. It's perhaps odd, but the only thing that was important to me was that it was MADE for women. That gave me comfort.
Are there clothing things that, pre-transition, you had to wear but hated? Are there things after-transition that you hate about the clothing of your "true self?" Don't worry -- the doc's aren't listening. Feel free to offer any and all gripes about clothing!
Teri Anne
[edit]Kimberly: Fixed the change to the subject, it is now back to what Teri Anne had originally.[/edit]
Kimberly's moderator
NOTE: given how these forums order posts it is... messy to rip
old posts relating to a
new topic out and merge them into a nice new solid topic. Teri Anne, Melissa and Sara... please forgive the mess I've made of your posts. The posts are fine, just that they are better in Teri Anne's new topic here.
Original post from melissa_girl (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=599)Quote from: melissa_girl on February 05, 2006, 07:59:44 PM
I think men's clothes tend to be boxier because they want to give a no-nonsense, powerful, means business look. Women on the other hand are all about smoothing out the rough edges in the world that men create.
Melissa
Original post from Sara (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?action=profile;u=857)Quote from: Sara on February 05, 2006, 09:50:34 PM
There is nothing good about mens clothing. They have stripes and checks and thats about it every season its the same boring stuff. Womens clothes have style and color and the cut is tailored. Oooooops! this is about Words and style that describe the author's gender, shouldnt this be Fashion and style that describes the author's gender and I think we will find the same thing some men make beautiful womens clothes and some women make beautiful mens clothes Although I dislike mens clothes (on me of course) they look good on some men though.
Sara.
NOTE: both Melissa and Sara's post were originally in Chaunte's "Words and style that describe the author's gender! (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2148.0.html)" topic.
That's OK Kimberly:
Teri Anne, I always wore jeans growing up and because my body already had the shape of a girl I had to buy girls jeans but my mom always made me wear daggy shirts "TENTS" a real problem if you have a tiny frame. Even today my mom tends to send me shirts that just do not look good on me or fit she sends medium or large and I take a small size. I have big feet size though 9 or 10 because I am 5 feet 9 or 10 and I have to shop around a bit to get the right shoes, I used to wear running shoes but they dont look good if you are all dressed up. I used to get ribbed a lot for looking soft and curvey so I did try to hide it a bit and I guess the shirts were good for that but now I am all about showing what I've got. The cellulite concerns me a bit or as my doctor says dimples on the bottom and legs but I have been working out and I have always liked medium to short skirts and dresses. You look FAB so dont worry about those dimples they add charactor to an already beautiful you.
Sara.
QuoteAre there clothing things that, pre-transition, you had to wear but hated? Are there things after-transition that you hate about the clothing of your "true self?" Don't worry -- the doc's aren't listening. Feel free to offer any and all gripes about clothing!
I think that the thing that I hated the most to wear were boys shoes, then later men's shoes. No style, heavy, and hot. And what of the clothing of my true self... Shoes of course :) they are narrow and the pinch my feet. But they are very pretty and stylish, that's why I have so many :)
Steph
God, pre-transition. I hated flimsy underwear that would dig into my thighs. Shoes that were crappy quality and not comfortable. Pants that dug into my waist. Trying to find a shirt that didn't have stupid darts to emphasize breasts that I didn't want. Socks that cost twice as much as men's socks and lasted half as long. Bras. Don't get me started on bras. Pretty well everything. And I did my damndest to wear clothes that were as close to men's clothes as possible.
Formal occasions and bathing suit wear, I would hate. Most women's clothing for formal occasions is restrictive and emphasizes parts of my body that I hated. Same with bathing suits.
About the only thing post-transition that bugs me is that I am getting a bit tired of wearing a tie every day. Although, compared to wearing a bra it's 10x more comfortable.
Women's clothing is way worse quality than men's clothing and costs twice as much. I can't imagine why you women would want to wear those clothes, but I'm just damn glad I don't have to anymore.
Dennis
Thanks for the insight Dennis. I had always wondered why somebody wouldn't want to wear women's clothes.
Melissa
Now we know what happen to you Dennis. You wore the underwear that was too tight. >:D >:D
Anyway I find women underwear 10x more comfortable then men's. (If you get the right size that is.) >:D
As a man I don't like wear ties and suits. Men suits are boring. Not many colors and all the same style, really.
But ties are worse, they just hang around your neck and strangle the life out of you but choke you and irritating your neck.
Have found anything I don't like in womans colthing yet. Although wear nylons all day does get my legs irritated.
:)
Jillieann
Oh, I didn't get into nylons because I didn't wear them often. Ghastly bits of non-natural fabric clinging to your legs.
And unders. They just are awful, women's unders. Narrow elastic. It's gonna dig in no matter how well they fit. And mostly made of nasty plastic material that breaks down in the first wash.
Now men's clothes. They fit, while giving you room. Who cares about colour? Black, Navy, Grey are enough colours. You can move your arms about. If you want festivity, add a coloured tie. The underwear costs 10 bucks for 5 pairs and lasts forever. Socks are 2 bucks a pair. Forget this 36 bucks for a bra stuff.
Nope, still can't see why you'd want it.
Dennis
I think if you're wearing clothes that fly in the face of your true gender they will be uncomfortable no matter what. I dont think it has anything to do with how they are made. Bras being the exception. Darned uncomfortable things. Mens briefs were always uncomfortable to me boxers too. I cant stand ties and suits just make me uncomfortable period. Womens clothes except for the bra thing are for the most part much more comfortable and the selection is fantastic.
Cassie
Dennis, thank you sooo much for being here at Susan's and contributing. When I had my GRS, I met, for the first time F2M's and their perspective was somehow very calming to me. The fact that, like me, they hated their pre-transition clothes just as much as I did made me feel good. Too often, M2F's are accused of transitioning just so they can get to wear women's colorful and sexy clothing. For you, it was just the opposite -- women's clothes repulsed you -- that is so great!
You mentioned underwear. For me, one of the most ridiculous pieces of clothing ever invented was the thong bikini -- talk about narrow cloth digging in -- ouch!
Sara - one of my discoveries was that women's shoes were lighter than men's shoes and, like you say, not as bulky. A 7 1/2 male shoe is bigger and heavier than an 8 or 9 women's shoe. I've never been one to like wearing heavy shoes. When picking sneakers, I always go for the lightest one.
One odd thing about women's shoes is that many of them are incredibly NOISY when you walk. A pair that sounded fine on carpeting in the shoe store suddenly sounded like a snare drum when I walked down a linoleum hallway at work. I tried to walk softly but it was impossible! CLICK, CLICK, CLICK! There's an woman assistant at work that wears noisy shoes all the time and I say, "I can sure hear you coming up the hall. Doesn't that sound bother you?" She responds, "No." Hmmm, amazing.
I'm outta here....CLICK, CLICK, CLICK.
Teri Anne
Yep noticed the same thing myself Teri Anne, I have some sandles that sound like they are clod hoppers. There is a wedding to go to in April and I have to wear casual gear, I said to my step son I would not embarrass him by wearing a dress and high heels and I have found a great outfit with a cami, jacket and jeans along with boots but I bet those things will make a big noise too. I hope there are no wooden floors at the wedding.
I could just go in a mens flanalette shirt and big jeans with the bum hanging out and rossi boots but I dont think that my makeup and hair would go together very well with that kind of look.
Sara.
Sara, You could go with the Annie Hall look. That shouldn't be embarassing. I think it strikes a happy medium.
Cassie
QuoteYou mentioned underwear. For me, one of the most ridiculous pieces of clothing ever invented was the thong bikini -- talk about narrow cloth digging in -- ouch!
Butt floss, my friend calls them
Dennis
*chortle* such eloquence...
I honestly don't really mind the guy fashions, though you're (probably -- never say never!) not going to catch me in a suit or a horrible muscle shirt. But scruffy ol blue jeans and T-shirt, while not the pinnacle of fashion, certainly have their place.
Personally I'd always been embarrassed of my form so I always wore baggy oversized shirts and consequently that is what most of my inventory still is. Not exactly what you want to go out on a date on, but pretty handy on a hot summer day (= erm, and since those hot summer days are so rare I've a good number of sweat shirts as well. Something I've noticed in particular about the guy/girl styles of those is my girl sweatshirts are about half the thickness (and no tags) of the guy style. So why wear the girl ones? Well, I don't think I'm going to find Roseblush (a.k.a. pink) in the guy racks (= *giggles*
By and large though only the striped of any design or dress shirts I never cared for. I like jeans and I like hiking boots... and technically I quite like my silk dress shirts. (= So, by and large I don't have too many complaints with former fashions.
Quote from: Teri Anne on February 06, 2006, 01:44:27 AM
When I transitioned, I tried to find average women's pants and shirts rather than overtly feminine attire. It's perhaps odd, but the only thing that was important to me was that it was MADE for women. That gave me comfort.
[edit]Kimberly: Fixed the change to the subject, it is now back to what Teri Anne had originally.[/edit]
You know Terri Ann, I think I am more the jeans and heels type as well. Veronica and I had a talk the other night, and she really can't handle me going out en femme, but she seems to be okay with clothing and styles that can be worn by a man or a woman. We looked through an LL Bean catalog together and saw several things that could work. Lands End is probably much the same. She mentioned that when it gets a little warmer she will help me pick out a pair of Berkenstock (sp?) sandals or clog type sandals. She says a lot of women wear these, and thinks I will like them. She bought me a beautiful chocolate brown leather jacket for my birthday this past weekend. She says it is a unisex style, and that her sister has the same exact jacket. When I wear it I feel more feminine, but when she sees me wearing it she can imagine it as masculine. That way it works for both of us. She gave me a pair of leopard print panties last night. When I wear them I feel feminine and sexy, when she sees me wearing them, she imagines me as a tarzan type ready to swing through the room on a vine and sweep her off her feet. It works for both of us. This may be a great way for us to compromise. But regardless if the style can be worn by male or female, I would still want to wear the woman's version. Just knowing the tag says female makes me love the clothes even more. In an effort to compromise, Veronica has offered to sew female tags in all of my clothes if it will make me feel better. It's told her it's not quite the same but I think we are making some progress here. I enjoy your posts Terri Ann, keep them coming!
Love
Lisabeth
Hmmmmm it's kinda funny that in the wild kingdom it the male of the species that wears the fancy fur or plumage to attract the female, but with us humans it's the other way around... :)
Steph
Quote from: Teri Anne on February 06, 2006, 01:44:27 AM
I remember, as a guy, I hated the way men's clothing tried to make me look like a box -- baggy jeans combined with tent-sized shirts tended to obliterate any contours my body had. I felt like Sponge-Bob. I suppose if you're supposed to be a male "hunk," the feeling is, the bulkier the clothing, the better. I sometimes wondered what the point of dieting and exercize was if no one could see my body in average clothing. I also wondered if the fact that gay men wore tighter clothing caused straight men to avoid that -- homophobia in the U.S. dictating what men could wear. And what's that grey or blue suit and tie UNIFORM about? Even worse was going to formal affairs where men had to wear penguin look-alike tuxedos. Oh, you could wear a colored shirt -- big deal! I'd look around at the variety of women's clothing and wonder, where was men's imagination in outfitting their own clothing? Where was men's lib?
As a woman, I've been almost as surprised at women wear. Being 5'8 1/2," I haven't cared to wear high heels much less mid-height heels. Of course, part of it is the logic and comfort that I was taught as a male child -- do what's comfortable. I might have worn short dresses at a teen or twenties M2F, but at my age (54), I feel I have too much cellulite on my legs. I had the hangup, as I transitioned, of wanting things permanent, so so-called "permanent" makeup was desirable over sitting at a mirror every morning -- again, maybe the logical male upbringing kicking in. When I transitioned, I tried to find average women's pants and shirts rather than overtly feminine attire. It's perhaps odd, but the only thing that was important to me was that it was MADE for women. That gave me comfort.
Are there clothing things that, pre-transition, you had to wear but hated? Are there things after-transition that you hate about the clothing of your "true self?" Don't worry -- the doc's aren't listening. Feel free to offer any and all gripes about clothing!
Teri Anne
Men are supposed to maintain an "even strain." No big ups and no big downs. Always the strong one. And certainly never EVER emotional! A good, deep belly laugh is always fine. But to show sorrow or hurt...? Not in this culture.
Women are expected to run the range of emotions. Everything from icy-cold to uncontrolable giggles to nonstop tears.
I suggest that clothing is designed to re-enforce these stereotypes.
Men's colors run from black to grey to dark blue - all with a white shirt. Bland colors to suggest little emotion. The boxy look to re-enforce strength. Look at the executives in a corporation and they will almost invariably where the white shirt and dark suit. Anything else suggests emotions-out-of-control. The only bit of color wil be with the tie. All of this suggesting strong, logical and emotionless.
The colors and style of women's clothing reflect the opposite position. Colors tend to reflect a woman's mood and/or attitude. Gray skirt-suit with heels - she is all business. Pastel colors with a flounce to the outfit, totally opposite of the stoic buisness person. Hair pulled back - focused. Loose hair - more easy going.
Just my take...
Chaunte
I have quite a few choice things to say about women's clothing, but they would probably break some site rule. Other than those things, I think Dennis and Cassie have already said it for me:
Quote from: Dennis on February 06, 2006, 07:56:55 PM
Don't get me started on bras. Pretty well everything. And I did my damndest to wear clothes that were as close to men's clothes as possible.
Formal occasions and bathing suit wear, I would hate.
Amen, brother!
Quote from: cash on February 07, 2006, 12:24:58 AM
I think if you're wearing clothes that fly in the face of your true gender they will be uncomfortable no matter what. I dont think it has anything to do with how they are made.
YES. I like guy's clothes just because they are considered guy's clothes. I hate wearing girl's clothes just because they're girl's clothes.
Joseph
I have found some of the men's tshirts at Wal-Mart to be super-comfy and perfect for those lounging-around-the-house days. of course if it warm out I'll gladly slip into a tanktop instead. but there are some men's clothing that aren't too bad to keep wearing. and it's a tshirt. it's not like there's a stamp on it on the outside that reads "a man's shirt" so whatever.
my gripe about women's clothing is that some of it isn't long enough. like there's no overlap between where the shirt ends and your pants begin. I don't like showing off my belly when I reach up to get something! or the way the fabric lays or is cut it starts riding up and I'm always having to pull my tanktop down or shirt down. ugh!!
I feel comfortable in men's clothes(90% clothes in my locker is for men) .Most often wear jeans, jackets,...rap style sometimes..but in some occasions tight trousers,spiky coiffure and punk style (time when hormones are booosted :icon_2gun:)
I can't say that I never wear make-up and women's clothes...do it once/two times in a year..just for fun...then go to extreme..skirt..and of course to put a smile at mom's face...next day.. LITTLE DEVIL IS BACK ;)..I'm a boy..and next day..totally f____d with my legs..damn were those heels..Sneakers RULE!
Peter Pan Andre ;D
added @Steph
bought black Fedora hat..and with black italian coat..mr mistery LOL
OK I'll put my two cents in.
I hate mens clothes period. Particulary suits both casual and formal. And ties I wont' wear any. They are just plain uncomfortable. Neck chokers.
There is simply no imagination in mens clothes these days. Womens clothes are much more colorful and energenic. I love wearing them. Don't have to many yet. I wear womens panties and I never had premature wear. I still have my first pair from 30 years ago. Don't fit cause I'm big now. My two cents.
Owen
Love being female
Quote from: Owen on February 23, 2006, 08:14:02 PM
I still have my first pair from 30 years ago. Don't fit cause I'm big now.
Keeping 30 year old underwear that doesn't fit? :eusa_think: Ok ::), they must be pretty special to you. That's older than me.
Melissa
Well said Chaunte. I can get pretty emotional at times not a male trait at all. I mostly wear light pastel colors for tops and light blue jeans or slacks. More cheerful to me.
owen
Love being female
Quote from: Andre on February 23, 2006, 10:24:19 AM
bought black Fedora hat..
yes! fedoras rock! they take a little style, flair and attitude to wear but when someone does and does it well...omg, it's hot! ;)
I have one side of my closet devoted to male clothes that I hope to never have to wear again... there's probably only about half a dozen articles in there but thank goodness my current job doesn't require me to wear them.
I guess to me, men's formal wear always seemed to be too plain, but more than that it was part of an image that I didn't fit into and didn't want to fit into. When first considering the idea of transitioning, I thought okay, I'll just wear unisex clothes - then a GG helped me pick out a nice half sleeve women's shirt, and when I tried it on I was hooked. :D
What I like most about women's clothes is how they show off what few curves I naturally have or can make up for with shapewear. Sure, the variety of colors is nice - lends personality to each outfit - but for me the shape is the best part.
Chaunte - Thank you for your perceptive comments on clothing. I agree with you on all points. The thing that most bothered me about men's clothing is the conformity aspect. No wonder they have soldiers wear uniforms...when someone dies, it's just one of the lookalike uniforms hitting the dirt. I mean, it's not like it's a real person, is it?
Regarding ties -- I remember an architect/professor giving a talk at one of our local universities. The talk was interrupted by a student who rose and asked, "Professor Soriano, you say you think everything should have a purpose in design. What about your tie?" Soriano took of his tie and never again wore a tie in his life.
Teri Anne
Quote from: Teri Anne on March 04, 2006, 05:52:43 PM...
No wonder they have soldiers wear uniforms...when someone dies, it's just one of the lookalike uniforms hitting the dirt. I mean, it's not like it's a real person, is it?
...
...
I am not going to comment on this any more than is necessary to say that I feel that is a very gross oversimplification and a great injustice... or in fewer words, I massively disagree.
(Bad decade, don't mind me.)
"No wonder they have soldiers wear uniforms...when someone dies, it's just one of the lookalike uniforms hitting the dirt. I mean, it's not like it's a real person, is it?"
by Teri Anne
Soldiers in combat have a deep bond and love for one another. Each and every one knows when one of them is lost. Most of us know about the battles and deaths on the battlefield but few know of the heartaches or the tears shed there.
beth
Quote from: Teri AnneNo wonder they have soldiers wear uniforms...when someone dies, it's just one of the lookalike uniforms hitting the dirt. I mean, it's not like it's a real person, is it?
Believe me Teri Anne when I saw a friend in uniform laying mortally wounded there was no doubt in my mind that he was a real person.
Steph
Teri Anne,
By now, I'm sure you see that you have accidentally hit a nerve.
There is a world of difference between business suits and fatigues/jumpsuits. In the business world, the suit only says something about you and your place in the corporation. In the military and their auxiliaries, the uniform talks about espree de corps; that the hide of the person next to you is just as important as your own hide is. The military uniform symbolizes a brother- and sisterhood that has no equal in the business world - or anywhere else for that matter.
Chaunte
In my defense, please allow me to clarify: I wasn't speaking of how soldiers feel towards one another. I've been around military families and know the strong bonds between them and patriotism there. They don't need uniforms to feel that closeness...it's comes with being in the "military family." And I'm appreciative of the soldiers that have been killed or wounded. I don't look away when CBS does those soldier rememberances within its nightly news hour. Often, I'm very emotional...they are often young, smart, funny and giving to others.
What I'm talking about in my previous post is how opposing armies feel about one another. To drop a bomb or shoot someone on the opposing army is part of the work of armies. While, to our side's perspective, we see a "band of brothers," the opposing army, contrarily, sees a band of uniformed enemies that can kill. After the Vietnam war, some Vietnamese vets met American vets and there was the realization that everyone is a real person. Along with creating unity (and caring for each other) within an army unit, uniforms can create a sense of distance when you view the opposing army. Referring to N. Vietnamese soldiers by a derogatory name is another method of achieving distance between you and THEM. In all of the above, I'm obviously talking of traditional war, not a guerilla war like in Iraq where there are no uniforms.
In an ideal world, we should feel sadness about the all deaths of soldiers on both sides. We are all humans with families that care about us. It's numbing to see photographs of thousands of dead soldiers after the American civil war battles. I'm not the first to notice that humans often become mere "pawns" of war. When Dunne said "every man's death diminishes me," he was referencing all of humanity. A uniform that turns human beings into loyal teams fighting one another is, unfortunately, a necessary part of war.
And I'm fully aware of Patton's observation, "When you see your best friend's face is goo, you'll know what to do." Under those circumstances, even I, a pacifist, would probably fight the men in the opposing uniforms.
Teri Anne
I will say this about mens clothing - compared to the colour & choice in womens clothing at first glance it seems sombre & does not vary much.
Yet there are subtle differences (yes men can be subtle). Its in the quality and design of the clothes. High quality suits, carefully looked after (men can get away with having one - therefore the quality can be very high). No creases or wrinkles, food stains or dandruff. Good quality shirts and accessories. Good quality shoes very well polished.
At first glance a group of men in suits may look very similar, yet closer inspection will show quality & discipline.
rana
Rana, your post reminds me of another scene in the movie, "Harold And Maude."
After Maude tells Harold that, were she to be a flower, she'd like to be a sunflower. She then asks, "What flower would you like to be?" Harold responds, gesturing to a field of daisies, "Maybe one of those, because they're so alike." Maude, "Oh but they're not. Look closer. Some are fatter, some thinner. Some lean to the left, some to the right. Some have petals missing, and we haven't even touched on the biochemical. Each is like a different person, never existed before and never to exist again, an individual. You see, Harold, sometimes I think that much of the world's sorrow comes from people who know they are this (she holds up one beautiful daisy) and yet allow themselves to be treated as that (Maude gestures broadly to the group of daisies. Camera pulls back to reveal a field full of daisies in the middle of a very large military cemetary with lookalike tombstones. A Cat Stevens song begins...)
Earlier in the film, Maude exits a civilian cemetary, following a group of mourners who are all dressed in black. Contrary to their lookalike black raincoats, Maude is wearing a yellow sunflower-colored one...a veritable flower in a sea of darkness. It reminds me of the funerals in New Orleans where each mourner is wearing wild colorful outfits in CELEBRATION rather than mourning of a life.
Rana, I agree with you that expensive suits can look gorgeous. I remember once seeing a famous politician in person, up close. While I had always abhored wearing suits and ties because it seemed like a bland uniform, I saw that this multi-thousand dollar suit was quite different. Like Maude's lament on the beauty of a single daisy, it is possible to be an individual despite a seemingly conformiing outfit. But how much easier it is if the paint on your palette has more colors than grey, dark blue or black. Think of all the great paintings that might never have occured had the palette been that limited.
It's interesting also how women, despite the wider range of colors, can end up conforming to a mass taste. After the recent Bush state of the union speech, one of the news commentators pointed out how MOST of the female congresspersons wore red suits -- The commentator stated, "it's like a uniform." I guess, secretly, we all want to belong to something bigger, to be part of the whole.
Still, like Maude, I'd rather be a sunflower.
Teri Anne
I've always been puzzled about the whole gender thing associated with clothes. A piece of clothing is a piece of clothing. It shouldn't necessarily be "female clothing" or "male clothing" it should be "people clothing" The only problem I've ever found with "male" clothing is the same one I've found with "female" clothing, it's not quite long enough.
Thank God for skirts! :D