I'm going to relay a play by play. I still can hardly believe this happened. I was texting her asking how my dog is doing while I'm in Tokyo. I casually mentioned I got my ears pierced and I bet dad will be freaking out. She said she was too, and asked why I did it. I told her I always wanted my ears pierced and even kept my earrings from high school. She said I have changed, lost a lot of weight, and hopes it's not a midlife crisis. Then I say it's not, I've just come to finally like myself. I'm no longer only hobbies or work, but a project.
This is when I decide to tell my electrologist Friend what's been going on. My friend asks how my sister took the I'm a project line. I text back, mistakenly TO MY SISTER that she's glad I'm a project, but I don't think she knows, but probably suspects I'm hiding something. My sister responds that yes she does think I'm hiding something.
So enter the clumsy story of my history, the great pain. I start crying and ask her to find that letter. She does and...
"Ok, now I'm crying. Firstly, thank you for honoring me by writing the letter. Secondly, I can't imagine how hard this is and has been for you. Lastly, this makes me love you more! And I support you a million percent. Once you are comfortable in your own skin, you'll be so happy. And you deserve to be happy.
Also, it's crossed my mind a time or two but it's not something I would ever ask."
We talked more for an hour. She likes my name and says it suits me. I ask if she wants to see how I see myself,so with a yes, I send her my last two Avatar picts. She says edgy, classy and me.
After more talk she says."I'm crying again. Get some rest and know that you have an ally in all things. Except maybe the murder part which did kind of scare me in your letter. Was it justified at least? 🤣"
Hey I had to put some humor in my letter. I said I hadn't killed anybody recently as part of a foreward section saying I'm not sick, dying, broke, etc.
Anyway, it went better than I hoped even with how clumsy I was. It's 12:30am now and I have an early call time. So sleep for me now.
Bari Jo
Yay!
Sisters are wonderful people. Congratulations.
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That's fantastic Bari Jo. I am not saying that you should necessarily tell your father, but perhaps he would also take it better than you expected if he does find out. If you have been championing the cause of trans people in the military during your conversations, he may suspect something already.
My memory may not be what it used to be (I'm not sure, as I can't remember what it used to be). Was it you who wrote that your father gave you the chance to transition at 13?
Quote from: MaryT on November 06, 2017, 10:45:02 AM
That's fantastic Bari Jo. I am not saying that you should necessarily tell your father, but perhaps he would also take it better than you expected if he does find out. If you have been championing the cause of trans people in the military during your conversations, he may suspect something already.
My memory may not be what it used to be (I'm not sure, as I can't remember what it used to be). Was it you who wrote that your father gave you the chance to transition at 13?
I can't seem to sleep, so I might as well respond.
Yes, that's me. He's old and he's had some procedures done to him for his depression that affect memory so bad he had to write letters to himself to read afterwards of who he is, who we are, etc. I don't say that lightly. He probably can't remember much before the 1990s. If anyone is wondering I don't suffer from depression, never have. If that was genetic it stopped with him.
As an update too from my sister, she has already started using my name in correspondence. I'm crying happy tears still.
Bari Jo
Quote from: Bari Jo on November 06, 2017, 10:58:50 AM
As an update too from my sister, she has already started using my name in correspondence. I'm crying happy tears still.
Bari Jo
Great news Bari Jo. Glad your sister responded so well. She's definitely a great person.
Paige :)
YAY!!!
I'm glad that went well. How's your trip going so far?
I'm so happy for you. I kind of had an idea she would be supportive from what you've written about her. I'm glad I was right.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! WHERE ARE THOSE HEART EMOJIS?! This deserves lots of heart emojis!! Ok, well, I can't find the heart emojis, these Texas wedding emojis will have to do: :icon_2gun: :icon_2gun: :icon_2gun: :icon_2gun: Nothing screams familial love and understanding like a semi automatic weapon.
Anywho... I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!
I have to say, the texting mishap... absolutely beautiful. ;D (Part of the reason I came out a little on the early side to my dad and now step mother is that I know I am going to do something similar sooner than later, so might as well start getting it over with. :D)
Ive had a few hours of semi sleep and tear stain pillows. Yes I cried a LOT. It still feels like a dream. I actually have an ally in my family and really the only ally I ever thought I absolutely needed. I still have happy tears.
Bari Jo
Sooo happy for you, and what a great story, had me on the edge of my sofa reading it!
Now you've got a wonderful sister and ally all in one handy package, nothing can stop you, chase those dreams. X
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congratulations Bari Jo. everyone needs successes
I really have all the ladies here and in group that have been giving me warm advice since I got here. I still feel very much the child even though I'm older than a lot of you. I couldn't have faced my fears and gotten this far without you. I'm sure I'll need more help and soon, but right now I feel amazing.
Bari Jo
Quote from: Artesia on November 06, 2017, 11:18:06 AM
YAY!!!
I'm glad that went well. How's your trip going so far?
It's going well. My Japanese is coming back. It's awesome to install a project and have full approval power! The hotel is great too. Still im mainly happy cause my sister is awesome.
Bari Jo
I'm new here and, sadly, I doubt I'll be able to recount such a great story as yours. I am so glad for you that it worked out the way it did.
Bari Jo, AWESOME!!! That is such great news. Gave me chills reading your post - a day to cherish.
Quote from: NamelessOne on November 06, 2017, 04:33:34 PM
I'm new here and, sadly, I doubt I'll be able to recount such a great story as yours. I am so glad for you that it worked out the way it did.
...and NamelessOne, in my opinion we can never perfectly predict these things. ;) I was 100% certain of a disaster when I came out to my parents (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,226090.0.html) and the opposite happened - they suddenly understood things about me they had previously found unsettling.
Yaaaayyyy!!! (Think Kermit the Frog flailing his arms.) Aren't sisters great? Hate to say we told you so...
So joyful for you!
Steph
That's heartwarming, really. And you officially have an awesome sister.
I am crying happy tears, too, just from reading your post! What could be better than the support and understanding of your sister? I am so happy for you!
Please make sure your sister knows that we all consider her a rockstar hero!
Congratulations! What a great reaction! Must be a massive relief for you.
I'm letting my sister know all the praising comments about her that come through. She really is a great person, and I know how lucky I am to have her. Not everybody has this kind of outcome. I'm still pinching myself and giddy. My coworkers think I'm just a happy weirdo right now, which is also true:)
A happy day that I will remember all my life.
Bari Jo
That's great! Congrats.
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Just caught up on this. You got me crying this morning. So happy for you Bari Jo! It reminds me of when I told my brother. I suspect your relationship will be fantastic now that she knows your truth. Yea!
Moni
You're in Japan so it's time for a Haiku.
Bari Jo pierced ears
sister starting to wonder
interesting project
electrologist
tell them but wrong phone number
holy smoke what now
time to tell her sis
she has another sister
go find the letter
time now standing still
waiting for her to answer
heart beat goes thump thump
unconditional
understanding and support
even used new name
complimented looks
sister admire sister
edgy and classy
now we really know
Bari Jo without doubt has
best sister in world
Ima, Nippon ni iru ka?! Dou desu? O-tanoshii de ru ka?
(If I screwed up conjugation, it's been a while. ;D)
You are totally lucky you have a sister to share this with. She can help you with clothes and makeup, she can go shopping with you, you can do spa day with her and you have someone to watch girl movies with. My brother has always been supportive and he does what he can to help me but he's a guy so it's pretty limited what he can do to help with trans issues. I'm envious of you. I would love to have a sister. Not that I wished my brother was a girl instead, I love him dearly, but it would be totally cool to have a sister as well as a brother. Enjoy your sister. I'm really happy she's supportive.
Congratulations!!
Hah, Kendra. I didn't expect my sister and I to be immortalized in haiku, but that's cool. I'll send that to my sister.
Ellie, I'll try and translate. It's been about 25 years, and my conjugation was always formal. this is way more conversational so it's difficult for me. I think you are asking if Im in Japan, and do I enjoy going out.
Hai, Tokyo disunirando de ikimasho ne. Hai, tanoshii de iru ne.
Mine is a bit rusty, too:)
Julia, I really hope we do all those things together. I will see her for a week each month for the foreseeable future, and I hope that we enjoy typical things that only sisters enjoy together:) still though we are both lucky with an incredible fortune of support!
Moni, yes, I hope so!
Bari Jo
Bari Jo, you are indeed fortunate to have a sister like her but then I hear her new sister is pretty awesome also.