I'm 40. When I was 25 I reached a point in my life where I figured that I'd done everything I needed to. I was struggling with what I now know was GD, and was ready to end my life. I had a solid job, a home, but life was empty and held no challenge for me.
I changed up my career, and over the next 12 years moved home, met a partner and started a family.
Three years ago I faced the trans monster I'd had on my back, and now I live full-time, happily, my social transition complete.
But what is left?
I'm still in my children's lives to a small extent, but if I wasn't here tomrrow, I'm not sure much would change.
I've always treated life like a game, never taken it seriously, it's far too bizzare. But like any game, if you've played enough times, it's no fun any more.
I find my head back in that space that it was in 15 years ago. I'm not depressed, my life is pretty good right now, I'm just trying to find valid reasons to carry on; there is no challenge, where do I go from here?
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Parliament?
The idea has crossed my mind... I think my belief in always speaking the truth could be a real stumbling block!
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Stephe has managed to get into politics in the USA maybe you should try the UK?
There's also study. If there is an academic subject that especially interests you, at what possible stage could you decide that there is nothing more to be learned or published?
I find hobbies and learning OR learning while doing hobbies is how is get myself out of any rut.
I'd start small, something inexpensive like, sewing or knitting. You can make things for your loved ones too. Then move onto bigger. Don't choose anything big and difficult to start with, that's crazy pants. Eventually move onto a more interesting difficult hobby and incorporate what you learned from the old. Always learning, always moving forward.
Anyway, that's my secret, hopefully that helps you too. I'd tell you what I do now for fun, but you wouldn't believe it!
Bari Jo
Megan,
Wow, a meaning of life question! My meaning for life has two major areas. One, enjoy the privilege of being alive for there is no guarantee of an after life. Two, make your little corner of the world a better place in some way. So I suggest first, go sky diving. Enjoy, but also experience the fear of dying without doing something really stupid. Then find someone to help. Make a difference in someone else's life. Make a mark on the world and you might find it makes you happy so you can wait 30 or 40 years for your demise.
Moni
My mom has fallen into this trap. Her life revolves around working and while she has other interests, a 4 day vacation will drive her up the wall because she doesn't have anything she can just pick up and do. I on the other hand have so many interests that there isn't enough time to do many of them. Look around and find hobbies or other activities that interest you and do them. You might like to dance, do charity work, photography or any one of a million other activities. If you don't start now, you will discover you have a very difficult retirement.
I was destroyed when the realization that I was never going to win a Nobel Prize or be a rock star set in. You put your head down and slog on. :laugh:
There's always world domination, too...give me a shout if you want to give it a go! :laugh:
Hugs, Devlyn
Megan,
All I can say is I am sorry you feel as you do. I hope you find something to occupy you. Yep it is best to leave it at that.
Laurie
In my years of living for pretty much nothing of substance, I had a similar dilemma. I learned an important lesson: Take joy in the little things! It really doesn't matter what it is, what society feels about its value, or anything else... if you can find something you enjoy, hold on to that. Binge watch the entirety of The Simpsons, study the four great works of Chinese literature, become a competitive eater, or just sit in a park and feed squirrels. Substance is overrated. ;D Not everything has to be a challenge or accomplish a lofty goal.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 09, 2017, 05:56:21 PM
There's always world domination, too...give me a shout if you want to give it a go! :laugh:
Hit me up for this, I can be your enforcer. I am related to the guy who was Napoleon's police chief who even Napoloen feared.
Fascist strongman(woman?) is in my blood. (This is actually true.)
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 09, 2017, 05:56:21 PM
There's always world domination, too...give me a shout if you want to give it a go! :laugh:
Pinky: Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight?
The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.
Now I know who you really are Devlyn ;)
Hi Megan
The smart ass in me wants to say follow your nose or just take a step followed by another and see where it takes you.
forgetting challenge for a moment, what is your passion? (no, not that kind; well, maybe)
Where would that passion take you?
This sounds like a good case of boredom. Blow something up! (no not literally) Make change (parliament? not a bad idea) Advocate for a downtrodden group (any ideas?)
Identify something fun to do and do it. Or learn something new. Want a challenge try stratospheric surfboarding.
Quote from: Briah on November 09, 2017, 08:22:27 PM
Blow something up! (no not literally) Make change (parliament? not a bad idea) Advocate for a downtrodden group (any ideas?)
Just don't go full on Guy Fawkes and do all three at once. REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER. ... Sorry, too much V for Vendetta, I'm sure everyone over there is sick of hearing this. ;D
Quote from: Megan. on November 09, 2017, 03:31:06 PM
I'm not depressed, my life is pretty good right now, I'm just trying to find valid reasons to carry on; there is no challenge, where do I go from here?
Maybe now life is good, you don't need to look for challenges anymore. I have always challenged myself - it distracted from the dysphoria and other hard times. Challenges keep me focussed. But when I look around at people that seem to be really happy in life, they don't seem to find the need to push themselves every day. Perhaps you don't need to battle any more, maybe now it's time to sit back and, like Roll said, take joy in the little things
Ty all. X.
We all have our devils, mine is me. I'm not sure I know how to not 'do', I need to learn but right now life feels empty.
I want to make one thing clear however; when (not if) I take over the world, I won't be sharing it with Devlyn, but I might give her somewhere small and insignificant to run like America [emoji6]
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You've already accomplished a lot in life. It takes courage to be where you are in your transgender journey. You may not realize it, but you're changing the world already by just being the real you. That kind of courage sets you up for advocacy and or politics, which sounds like you've already pondered. Elections in the USA this past Tuesday are encouraging with out-transgender women winning local and state offices across the country and getting positive mainstream media coverage. We're making progress one brave person at t time. Go for it!
Quote from: Roll on November 09, 2017, 07:19:50 PM
In my years of living for pretty much nothing of substance, I had a similar dilemma. I learned an important lesson: Take joy in the little things!
Yup.
Ecclesiastes put it
"'Vanity of vanities,' says the Preacher, 'Vanity of vanities! All is vanity'"
but later goes on to say
"There is nothing better for a man [and presumably a woman] than to eat and drink and tell himself [herself] that his [her] labor is good."
(Too much time spent in hotels with Gideon bibles.)
Or, as Bowser said in Sha Na Na,
"Eat, drink and be merry - for tomorrow, you may not die after all!"
Quote from: Roll on November 09, 2017, 07:19:50 PM
I am related to the guy who was Napoleon's police chief who even Napoloen feared. Fascist strongman(woman?) is in my blood. (This is actually true.)
Would that be Joseph Fouché?
In the 17 years I've been married to my beautiful Filipino wife, I've probably sent a quarter million dollars to the island of Mindanao. My money has built houses, started businesses, kept people employed and fed. I've paid for five college educations over there so far.
There is no shortage of ways to do good in this world. Go to Africa or Asia or South America. Adopt a family or a village. Trying to help real people have better lives is more emotionally involving, and more satisfying, than any story or video game.
Have you read Mans Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl? If not it's worth a few bucks/quid....
Quote from: Another Nikki on November 26, 2017, 12:14:06 PM
Have you read Mans Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl? If not it's worth a few bucks/quid....
No, but I'll check it out, tnx [emoji4]
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I'll will add that I had a positive and slightly revelatory though about this today.
Perhaps in the way a journey is often more valuable than the destination; the search for a meaning in life (a gonzo) gives more purpose than really having one. [emoji4]
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Megan
Hey sister .. I think our path reveals itself when we remain open to possibility but not asking ourself what it is specifically we are "supposed" to be doing...
I also believe our path can become more apparent as we immerse ourself in giving of ourself and helping others...
If you have the opportunity to do public speaking there on behalf of LGBTQ groups to help educate the public... I would highly recommend giving it a try.... I think when we work to convey who we are to others... How we got here... What we value... New paths forward that we had not known were there previously can reveal themself...
Wishing you amazing discoveries ahead
Hugs!!!
Ashley 😀
Quote from: Megan. on November 26, 2017, 12:31:19 PM
I'll will add that I had a positive and slightly revelatory though about this today.
Perhaps in the way a journey is often more valuable than the destination; the search for a meaning in life (a gonzo) gives more purpose than really having one. [emoji4]
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Ha!!!
I was going to add something very similar to my post above and you beat me to it!!!
We are on the same wavelength sister!!!
A😀❤️🌻
Quote from: tgirlamc on November 26, 2017, 12:34:06 PM
Megan
Hey sister .. I think our path reveals itself when we remain open to possibility but not asking ourself what it is specifically we are "supposed" to be doing...
I also believe our path can become more apparent as we immerse ourself in giving of ourself and helping others...
If you have the opportunity to do public speaking there on behalf of LGBTQ groups to help educate the public... I would highly recommend giving it a try.... I think when we work to convey who we are to others... How we got here... What we value... New paths forward that we had not known were there previously can reveal themself...
Wishing you amazing discoveries ahead
Hugs!!!
Ashley [emoji3]
I've already been up on stage at several public events; university medical school, national diversity symposium and also company wide broadcasts where I work. These are extremely rewarding things to do, and to give back for those who've blazed a path before. I'm now on the leadership team of my companies national LGBT network.
I'm sure I'll continue my efforts in this for since time, but rightly or wrongly I don't want LGBT advancement to become my core focus. My transition is just one part of my life, and I see a time when I'll move on to other things.
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Quote from: Megan. on November 26, 2017, 12:45:43 PM
I've already been up on stage at several public events; university medical school, national diversity symposium and also company wide broadcasts where I work. These are extremely rewarding things to do, and to give back for those who've blazed a path before. I'm now on the leadership team of my companies national LGBT network.
I'm sure I'll continue my efforts in this for since time, but rightly or wrongly I don't want LGBT advancement to become my core focus. My transition is just one part of my life, and I see a time when I'll move on to other things.
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That's Awesome Megan!!!
I think visibility in forms like this does more good than we know in the long run... Hearts, minds and preconceived negative stereotypes can be gently changed one at a time as our stories are heard... Like you, I see it as paying it forward for those who came before.... I hear in your words the determination, strength and resolve that will carry you to success in whatever areas you focus your energies!
Hugs!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻