Did it? Did you feel less interested in masturbation ? Did you become more passive rather then dominant ? Anytime I felt transgender I noticed my sexuality ( not my preference in men changing that never had for me , but activity wise { been going on for years finally seeing a gender psychologist soon hopefully to help me decide what to do next )
Yup. As someone who only recently was questioning (though the 'questioning' phase was pretty short all things considered) it completely killed my desire for masturbation or sexual intimacy, through... let's say complicating my relationship to my penis. Things have equilibrated somewhat, of course, but I certainly have decreased interest in masturbation.
Perhaps once my transition really starts getting underway things will change.
Imagine how confusing it is when you have been back and forth for years... but always returning to being a trans woman and actually BEING A trans woman most of the time, I blame lack of any psychological support and the fact I can't get hormones without seeing one to begin with. ( horrible process in ireland, )
I have 90 percent of the time always been the passive one. Yes I loved sex and everything to do with it. When I was the dominate one I always would do things that I wish where done to me. I always wanted to meet up with a Mr. Grey. :) type and let them have their way with me
While I haven't actually been with anyone in many years, I used to frequently have some 'alone time'. Since I accepted myself, my need to do so has reduced considerably, even before HRT. I do still have a desire for sex & intimacy, but it's a different feeling now, not the all-consuming drive that excessive T can bring. At least now I feel (maybe?) comfortable enough with my body & self that I'm wanting to actually be with other people.
I will say I am much more cuddly now
Yep. Before I accepted I was trans, living as a gay man I would force myself into a "versatile" role (being able to give and also receive during sex) when in reality I enjoyed being submissive and a bottom the most. Being a top seemed more like a chore, and something I wanted to do to prove I was manly. After starting this journey I can openly say that I just like bottoming. And when it comes to libido, HRT killed it. I mostly want company, kisses and cuddles. Sex would be great but I'm not dying to have it.
Since just questioning, not even starting HRT? Well, I can't speak for sex itself, but my thoughts and desires haven't shifted so much as they've become more honest. To some degree I would always think about being with a trans woman in the past sort of sublimating things I think (part of my trying to rationalize my draw to the community, since it seemed easier to be attracted to trans women than actually being a trans woman?), but now it is definitively me in the feminine role with either a man or another woman. I've reveled in these feelings a good bit, really accepting them in a way I never did before which actually has led to a slight increase, in... uhhh, activity.
HRT made a difference. I don't have much interest in sex per se. I consider that on its own to be an intrusive thought, an itch. Lack of testosterone made it cross the mind less often. It crosses much more often now and though I feel far less guilt or concern about it, it still does not 'motivate me' in the way it tends to most men.
A person can certainly motivate me, but sex itself or the promise of it etc. has never held much appeal or fascination to pursue. It only occurs to me as something worth the bother when associated with a specific person who is themselves 'worth the bother'.
I haven't noticed a shift in roles. I've always preferred the dominant role.
Thanks for all your replies, as someone who's pre hrt and has never had penetrative sex , I feel versatile, when I see a guys bum etc I feel an arousal but this makes me very uncomfortable and dysphoric? Am I not trans for this reason ??
Quote from: CelestialB on November 10, 2017, 04:01:24 PM
Thanks for all your replies, as someone who's pre hrt and has never had penetrative sex , I feel versatile, when I see a guys bum etc I feel an arousal but this makes me very uncomfortable and dysphoric? Am I not trans for this reason ??
That doesn't disqualify you at all. There are certainly plenty of trans women don't mind being... uh, "giving". (Plus, there are cis women who like to do the same with a little silicone aid.)
I deffo wouldn't give whilst identifying or questioning , that would be triggering at, I want SRS someday too...
Just coming out to myself changed how sex worked for me. I use to masturbate a healthy amount. Now its like once a week. I just dont think about sex as much or have the same drive, I dont know why. I am still very much the same orientation, I've checked. I still find it relieves stress the way it did, so I often go through the motions for that benefit, but I do have to work alot more at it. I never had penial dysphoria before per se, now I just find we're like... people who used to be better friends, lol. I feel annoyed and often kind of "ugh" by my penis now in general, like when going to the bathroom, or dressing and this makes the "act" more of a chore. I feel often like I wish it would shrivel up and go "poof" and I thinks thats had alot of this affect on things.
I used to masturbate a very unhealthy amount. Every session was always imagining I was the girl, often being brutalized. Most of the time they were penetrative to me also. After each session the guilt and shame would be there, so my only real joy was the act. I was addicted. Throughout the years I tried to replace my trans leaning with kink, mostly bdsm, heavy emphasis on sm. It didn't work, and I always still wanted to be the girl. Occasionally a partner would make me dress and perform on him as a girl. That gave me a high you wouldn't believe. When it was over though, as a man, the shame returns. One thing I learned from my bdsm days is you can't remove the trans beast. Instead you add all these new fetishes.
Natalie, if I never found a Mr Grey that understood that being the girl was the impt part. They thought playing the role was impt. Playing the role is what brings the shame cycle.
Anyway, to make a long story short, accepting myself did little to change my self abuse. Hrt on the other hand stopped it cold. I don't feel the need anymore. I feel cozy if that makes sense.
Bari Jo
Quote from: Bari Jo on November 10, 2017, 06:13:57 PM
I used to masturbate a very unhealthy amount. Every session was always imagining I was the girl, often being brutalized. Most of the time they were penetrative to me also. After each session the guilt and shame would be there, so my only real joy was the act. I was addicted. Throughout the years I tried to replace my trans leaning with kink, mostly bdsm, heavy emphasis on sm. It didn't work, and I always still wanted to be the girl. Occasionally a partner would make me dress and perform on him as a girl. That gave me a high you wouldn't believe. When it was over though, as a man, the shame returns. One thing I learned from my bdsm days is you can't remove the trans beast. Instead you add all these new fetishes.
Natalie, if I never found a Mr Grey that understood that being the girl was the impt part. They thought playing the role was impt. Playing the role is what brings the shame cycle.
Anyway, to make a long story short, accepting myself did little to change my self abuse. Hrt on the other hand stopped it cold. I don't feel the need anymore. I feel cozy if that makes sense.
Bari Jo
I was pretty much the same, when I was in a relationship with a female I always pictured myself as the female. I did foul around with males never had a relationship with a male but fooled around with many I was always dressed as a girl and acted like the girl role, I loved when either male or female would dominate me, I could only orgasm in the female role when I was in male role no orgasm. I have tried a few times to fool around with a guy in male mode and I would always feel ashamed and embarrassed as well as could not preform but in female mode never had a problem