Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Jamie_06 on November 11, 2017, 07:36:33 PM

Title: Meeting parents as female
Post by: Jamie_06 on November 11, 2017, 07:36:33 PM
So my parents will be visiting in about a month for an early Christmas get-together, and while they have been supportive via phone and Facebook, this will be the first time the'll be seeing me as female in person. I have heard from one person in my local trans support group that her family didn't react well in person even though they had been supportive from a distance, so I'm wondering how to approach this situation.

I know that since I'm genderfluid I could present as male the whole time they're here if I have to, but that would just be avoiding the issue and I'd rather be able to be female while they're here, so any advice?
Title: Re: Meeting parents as female
Post by: Dena on November 11, 2017, 07:52:06 PM
I can think of three things you might do that would help.
1. Discuss this in advance with them so there will be no surprises.
2. Send some pictures so they know what to expect.
3. Consider toning it down. For example wear woman's jeans instead of a dress. We wear a blouse with sleeves instead of a sleeveless blouse.

Title: Re: Meeting parents as female
Post by: Mariah on November 11, 2017, 10:25:48 PM
It's important to note the following.
1. Parents actually already know, but this will be the first trip they have made since Jamie's coming out.
2. Pictures have been shared since the parents were told.
3. Lets see Jamie is genderfluid and as a result generally when dressed as female it is toned down which means something with sleeves and woman's jeans.

Quote from: Dena on November 11, 2017, 07:52:06 PM
I can think of three things you might do that would help.
1. Discuss this in advance with them so there will be no surprises.
2. Send some pictures so they know what to expect.
3. Consider toning it down. For example wear woman's jeans instead of a dress. We wear a blouse with sleeves instead of a sleeveless blouse.
Title: Re: Meeting parents as female
Post by: LizK on November 12, 2017, 02:13:28 AM
You need to feel comfortable in whatever you choose. By comfortable I mean something that makes you feel good and you enjoy wearing. I have seen your photo's as we are connected via FB and I think anything I have seen you wearing looked great so its then just about what you like. I have a feeling from the few comments I have read the family are going to be just fine with you being you.

Try and relax and not over read the situation, don't think too much about it(if you can). I bet the family just want you to be as comfortable, as you want them to be.  ;)

Good Luck
Title: Re: Meeting parents as female
Post by: Devlyn on November 12, 2017, 08:11:41 AM
I like the just be you advice.  :)

I was wondering though, you're prepping for them seeing you in girl mode, but what if the boy is around when they show up? Would you still want to present female in boy mode? When I have a boy day, my sense of humour appreciates the dilemma of only owning women's clothes.   ;D

Hugs, Devlyn