This is a fear-inducing question... When was the first time you dared to step into guys' locker room or swimming hall showers or such? How long were you on your transition?
One of my fears on starting T is this one... I would never go into women's locker room or use the swimming hall without transitioning...! But I also felt before I would never dare to step in the guys' locker room - not without bottom surgery, which I'm not planning on getting! But since I've heard that many trans men actually do that just fine... And most (I guess) never have bottom surgery... So, I guess that's doable.
Any experiences? Should have made this a gender neutral question... Girls, feel welcomed to share your experiences as well in the women's locker room!
On the other hand, if I do not get on T, this is even more of an issue :/! Would you guys ever dare to walk in the guys' room with just top surgery?! Though I DO NOT use the women's facilities because I don't feel comfortable in them either, I think the further you are on your transition, the harder it is to even consider using the ladies'... or?
It sucks to think I'd never be able to use the gym or go swimming - but I don't at the moment either, so ;)! Come on, guys, which one do you use? Or is this a "non-issue" to you? Are you comfortable using the facilities for your assigned gender early on in your transition? And... say... after you have been on hormones a while do you just make an effortless transition to the other one...?
At least, please describe your first experiences! Were you terrified as hell? And after all nothing happened, it was nearly empty... or what :D?! Or did you have some awkward moments like dropping your towel or.... :D???
Yes, if at this point I walked into the women's locker room I think there's going to be a problem. Women definitely aren't as bearish as I now look.
I think it's a matter of using the room most appropriate for one's appearance at the time. If I looked more female - and when I did - I was still using the female WC and facilities out of respect for the men and vice versa when I was looking more male to use the male facilities out of respect for the women. Some trans people won't see it that way but I find it gave me the least amount of "hassle". Not that I've had much of that at all, but I don't enjoy dealing with confused and curious people.
One thing to note, generally speaking in the men's facilities, men are less interested in what other men look like. If you are using one with cubicles, you're sorted. If it's a large open communal area most men are still not going to be interested in what's between your legs. They might be if you look obviously like a woman/haven't had top surgery and will be wandering around naked, however. So I wouldn't go in there unless you have, or are going to attempt to keep certain bits covered from view.
Personally I would play it safe in the women's until you can no longer be taken for a woman - i.e. when people start naturally assuming you're male, particularly if women do that. They are the ones most sensitive to men being in their "spaces" after all.
In terms of how it feels? Mundane, I suppose? I wasn't enthused about using public facilities but then again I never am. Whether it's a locker room, shower or toilet, I'm never all that comfortable sharing with random strangers. But it doesn't bother me like it once did. I've had a few experiences trekking with groups of people abroad in the wilderness and having very little privacy during and I suppose that desensitized me to it a bit.
I've used the gym locker room without top surgery for a long time. I think I was half a year on T so I looked more male than female, and never had any problem among the guys. I wore those binders to work out that look like a regular undershirt and didn't take it off while being at the gym.
Once you're on T for a while, and cannot be mistaken for a woman, I think you should be fine in the men's locker room.
Most people don't walk around the men's locker room without their genitals hanging out, so even without bottom surgery you could easily pass by unnoticed. Just be prepared for the older gentlemen who like to show off to the world how they apply talcum powder to their scrotum...
I have used mens restroom. Not at the gym yet. In my head I don't look male enough but I've gotten a lot of comments in womens restrooms and gym locker etc that "This is womens restroom, but I guess it's ok". This happens even without my binder.
When I used the mens restroom nothing happened. Nobody said anything. No comments. No looks. I was just one of the guys waiting for an empty stall. Guys don't look very much at eachother. We don't want trouble and staring at a fellow might be aggressive.
Tony
Quote from: MeTony on November 18, 2017, 02:05:16 AM
When I used the mens restroom nothing happened. Nobody said anything. No comments. No looks. I was just one of the guys waiting for an empty stall. Guys don't look very much at eachother. We don't want trouble and staring at a fellow might be aggressive.
I think there's also a very big "Don't look or they'll think you're gay" fear.
Quote from: MeTony on November 18, 2017, 02:05:16 AM
When I used the mens restroom nothing happened. Nobody said anything. No comments. No looks. I was just one of the guys waiting for an empty stall. Guys don't look very much at eachother. We don't want trouble and staring at a fellow might be aggressive.
I've had no need to use a men's locker room yet, but I DO use the men's restroom when I'm out and about. Same thing for the most part. No looks, maybe a "what's up?" nod but that's it.
I have had a few men look at me, and one even say "this is the men's room" a few months ago. I simply answered back, "I'm a dude, dude," and then chuckled. Of course, I was in the stall by then.
My facial hair looks like a sparse beard now, so its doubtful that'll happen again anytime soon.
Can's wait for the day I use a locker room...not that I'm athletic, but the thought is nice!
Ryuichi
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Mine was 8 weeks after my top surgery but pre T. Went swimming in the winter at a pool I did not frequent. The building was so old that they only had men and womens room so I went to the mens. No one batted an eye at me, even took a shower but kept my swim trunks on.
I was more comfortable being at a place where I would not encounter anyone that I knew. Things would be weird if a guy saw me in there that knew me as a girl.
i had this fear when i was in college even though i pass 100% (top surgery, T, etc.) so i just went into a rest room that wasn't that busy in the college and changed in the handicapped stall. it wasn't weird though because i know a friend of mine who did the same, so i didn't feel weird about it. with swimming and what ever, i use the family room because i usually go with my family. i use the men's restroom no issue and i go topless no issue when swimming, etc. even though i know my scars are visible and people definitely stare, but i don't care. i just rather not be in a room where i can be cornered if something went wrong.
i will say though, even before i started T/had surgery, i did use men's restrooms once i came out as trans. i was already masculine looking so it didn't get looks and what ever from people. i think if you don't "pass" or don't feel comfortable using the men's change room, bathroom, what ever, you shouldn't. also the further you are in your transition, especially with testosterone, it will get harder to use the women's facility.
Quote from: Roll on November 17, 2017, 07:38:50 PM
Most people don't walk around the men's locker room without their genitals hanging out, so even without bottom surgery you could easily pass by unnoticed. Just be prepared for the older gentlemen who like to show off to the world how they apply talcum powder to their scrotum...
;D I have heard several stories of this happening...
I´m not in men´s locker rooms often. But last time it went fine. What little chest I have left is not visible when taped with sports tape, and I never go "commando" like those old guys. So no problem.
The first time I ever went into a men's locker room, I asked the gym staff specifically what I should do. I was told "We don't care what point in your transition you're at, even if you just came out yesterday. Anyone gives you ->-bleeped-<-, you come tell us right away and they lose their privileges and will be removed by security immediately."
I still used the private changing rooms and stayed in my clothes to shower (I had brought two pairs of clothes just in case), but I noticed all the guys were too busy doing their own thing so I didn't have any issues whatsoever. Every time I've ever been in a locker room the guys just let their bits hang out, but no one ever looked around and no one cared that I was still dressed so I've only ever been mildly uncomfortable.
Quote from: VakarianPride on November 25, 2017, 12:55:23 AM
The first time I ever went into a men's locker room, I asked the gym staff specifically what I should do. I was told "We don't care what point in your transition you're at, even if you just came out yesterday. Anyone gives you ->-bleeped-<-, you come tell us right away and they lose their privileges and will be removed by security immediately."
That's just too cool :D!
I never had to take gym class thankfully. I can't be in prolonged sunlight even with sunscreen. Sun can also damage my eyes. Strangely enough it was because of that I had to go into the guys locker room. I had to take a note from the office to the teacher. No one was naked. The guys who had taken a shower had towels around them. It just smelled kind of icky in there though. It smelled like sweaty guys. As long as he's clean, I find the smell of guy sweat kind of hot really. But a whole locker room full. Ewwwww!
I don't go to health clubs or anything so I've never been in a women's locker room. But I use the women's bathroom and the women's dressing rooms to try on clothes. Sometimes other women will talk to me but no one has ever outed me as trans.
I am still all male down below, but I have gynecomastia and generally androgynous features. So I still use the men's locker room at the pool/gym. I walk around in panties and topless and nobody much cares. I get more comments on my abdominal scars. Maybe it helps that the facility is at a major university which attracts the more progressive segments of our society. It definitely helps that I am confident in my skin and don't much care what anyone thinks as long as they are not rude. Oh, and for swimwear I mix things up, Speedo, bikinis, or a fem one-piece.
I have used the mens even when dressed up all girly before coming out, with my disabled son. The pool had no family options and my son is too old for the womens but still needs help changing. I have also gone in dressed as a man.
I have found the mens room to not be as confronting as the women's. In the women's people talk to you and chat. In the mens, people are just focused on what they need to do and get out. The only downside is the old guys.
I can't even consider going into the women's locker rooms at this point in my transition, however I'm also far from comfortable in the men's locker rooms cause I haven't had bottom surgery yet (I'm going to, but it will take a bunch more months or so, and then there's the healing process after that). I have, however, used the men's locker room a handful of times after I started my transition. I passed as male for the most part but still occasionally got misgendered, was post top surgery and had been on T for several years, just didn't have a beard back then. That was at a local gym and I didn't shower there (had walking distance to my apartment so showered at home instead) so I didn't undress completely, but it was still stressful. A bit later on I did go to a swimming hall when I had a fair bit more courage and actually showered in the men's locker room showers there. For the most part I stood with my face (and private parts) against the wall, but when I walked out of the shower I was fully exposed for a few seconds. There was 5-7 other guys in the (open) shower so I'm pretty sure at least some of them saw me. I was scared but nothing happened. I dressed again and walked back home. Now I don't want to return there until after bottom surgery cause despite nothing bad happened my anxiety levels were way out of control so for my sanity's sake if not else. Yes it was terrifying!
Judging by the other replies here I'm guessing I'm the only one who has no issue what so ever with the older men in locker rooms? (Except if it turns out I've actually "seen" him before and that could be a tad awkward I guess...)
As soon as I started T I started using the men's room and locker rooms. I just started a membership at a gym so I've been using the men's locker room there. No one really pays attention to one another. They just quickly change then are on their way. I haven't used the showers yet. Although they're pretty private I'll probably wait until after top surgery for that. There are the old guys who just let it all hang out sometimes so I've seen a couple wrinkly old butts but it doesn't really bother me.
When I was middle school and had to change in the girl's locker room for gym or swim class (this was a long time ago, way before I knew there was such a thing as being trans) I would hide in one of the bathroom stalls to change. Now in the guy's locker room I'm so much more comfortable. There's almost this feeling of camaraderie instead of a shameful feeling like I have to hide.
Quote from: Contravene on December 10, 2017, 03:50:57 PM
There's almost this feeling of camaraderie instead of a shameful feeling like I have to hide.
I just thought it was fascinating and speaks volumes that you feel that why, while I as mtf had the exact opposite feeling, that matched how you felt in the girl's locker room.