Hi All
I put together some thoughts yesterday in a post I made in the introduction forum and felt moved to share them here in the general forum... So many of the postings I see here involve fear.... fear of moving forward toward what we want... fear of how people will react and treat us if we show them who we truly are inside... fear of judgement...
When we are near the end of our time here and list our regrets... the things we wished we had dared to do... what would we give at that point for one more chance to go back and see what could have been... If fear had not chosen our path for us
Anyway, my friends.. For what it is worth... My thoughts on the subject...
There are many examples, here on this forum and in the lives of those around you, of people letting fear keep them from what they want in their life.... It is human nature to take the unknowns about a situation that has not yet occurred and insert our deepest fears into the blanks
We place the obstacle of fear in our own path and it can block our way for a very long time, perhaps a lifetime, if we allow it... On the other side of the obstacle of fear is the very thing that we seek...
In "Letters to a Young Poet" Ranier Rilke said... " Our fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure"
Fear is an emotion that is there to keep us safe but we must remain vigilant not to let it rule us...
You may very likely be attaching these fears to how you envision the reactions of family and friends or how you will be treated in everyday life...
When we open the door and set out on a journey to express our true self... It is a very spiritual thing that we do.... How can family and friends truly love us if they have not seen who we truly are?.... At a very deep level... Transition is an attempt to put ourself in a place in our life where we can truly give and receive love
Another result of opening that journey is that our relationships to others and the world will change to some degree or another... It is possible we will lose our relationship to some of those in our life that we thought of as close while other relationships will blossom, grow stronger and adapt in beautiful and unexpected ways... As we walk this new path, new faces will appear as well,...to care for us and to be cared for by us...
In the end we all will proceed in the manner that suits us best... You, my dear friend, hold the steering wheel of your life...I would urge you to not allow fear to take the wheel from your hands...
Onward we go brave friends
Ashley :)
QuoteIn "Letters to a Young Poet" Ranier Rilke said... " Our fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure"
I'll remember that. Corny but cute. :D
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Fear is possibly the biggest emotion in my life at the moment, besides (obviously) confusion.
J x
When you look back at your book of life, know there should be a mention how your written words have helped me along the way, more than you may know. :)
Thank you for this thread. It is very relevant to me. I'm about to start seeing a new psychologist to work on my fear and embarrassment.
Quote from: Another Nikki on November 17, 2017, 04:57:29 PM
When you look back at your book of life, know there should be a mention how your written words have helped me along the way, more than you may know. :)
Thank you so much my dear sister... that touched my heart!!!
Hugs!!!
A😀❤️🌻
Couldn't agree more, Ashley. I respect a lot of things, but knowledge and love has made it unnecessary for me to fear much. Temporary confusion at times, but then you have to believe in who you are and what you can give and take that leap of faith made possible by believing in yourself. You've helped me, Ashley. I try to help others. That's how we all help each other conquer fear. Toni
Ashley, I am certain you have made a difference in the lives of many people on this forum, including myself. I hope you don't mind if I add a few thoughts of my own.
A year ago if anyone had suggested I was transgender I would have laughed at them. Six months ago I feared the day I would eventually come out to everyone. Now I look forward to that day, the day I will finally begin to live an authentic life.
So, what changed? Since starting HRT the frustration and anger that dominated my life has vanished. I can experience joy again. I smile for hours on end for no reason. Even my therapist has mentioned how calm I am. These glimpses of what my future holds have given me the strength to banish my fears.
I was frightened when my journey first turned onto this unknown road, and I realize the road will not always be smooth. Seeing the emotional baggage I carried for over 40 years receding in my rearview mirror is a sight that sets my soul free.
Thank you Ashley for your words for life.
Hopeful words for everyone.
Smiling at the thought.
Jessica
Thank you, Ashley, that was timely and much appreciated.
A life lived in fear is a life of continual dying and therefore no life at all. That's what I believe, anyway.
I remember back when I was about 5 or 6 learning to ride a bike. I wouldn't take the stabilizers off because I thought I was going to immediately fall. So for about a year I went around wanting to take them off but never doing so. There was nobody around to encourage me and I was pretty afraid of injuring myself. When eventually I took the stabilizers off I spent a week riding around with my feet on the ground still too scared to ride the damn bike. The fear was ridiculous but it was very real to me at the time. Then at some point I did just attempt to ride the bike (after many chickenings out) and found it was the easiest thing in the world and how much I'd been missing due to the fear. I think back to this particular experience whenever I need to to reaffirm that fear is often just a paralysis or a wall that means nothing the moment you break through it. With transition I think it's much the same, there is a life after and beyond the fear and it's probably much better than the one with the stabilizers and the trundling around wishing to ride properly but never daring to.
Not that fear of transition is irrational. I think it's very rational to be afraid of the various potential and real difficulties involved. But the fear itself is an unhappy state that only makes things much worse. With transition there's an opportunity to grow and change, and that's the essence of living.
Many thanks to you all for both the kind words as well as your own beautifully expressed thoughts!!!
There is so much that is ours to claim in this journey that is good... that is liberating....that challenges us... that connects us... that offers possibilities that were never ours to consider before.
We have often spent a lifetime trying what doesn't work for us... when we finally come to realize what we think might work... we see the enormity of the journey and the challenges to come...
Our fears will always be one of the voices in the room and that is a good thing... It offers us perspective and much of transition involves finding new perspectives on our life. I think though...If you find that fear is consistently the loudest voice in the room... it needs to be told to be quiet for a while so the other voices can speak too... for there is much for them to discuss on the subjects of hope, possibilities and Love....
Onward we go brave friends...
Ashley :)
Thank you i needed to read this. Its been tough lately knowing what a long and complicated journey lies ahead. I think this will test my patience and help me grow as a person too. I know i will receice and give love, some day, like you said..
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
Thanks Ashley, I like the thread. I might add a couple of things. First, we often lie to ourselves and say we will do something later. We say to ourselves under better circumstances the task won't be as hard. "The fear will be less then." It is a lie. The only thing putting off the stuff we fear does is create anxiety on top of the fear. "Why can't I tackle this thing I need to do?" It makes us feel even worse. Like I have said in the past, sometimes you just have to do what it is you must do while punching the fear right in the nose. Act even when afraid.
Secondly, some of you who are on the beginning of your journeys may look at folks who are farther along and think we have found some magic wand or some crazy inner strength. We were where you are now and we were terrified. Fear is something that takes a long time to go away. I came out, transitioned, am living my dream, but fear is still with me. Want an example? I am very much afraid of dealing with my voice. I do what I do to make it more feminine, but it gives me away. Why not do something about it? I am afraid. I am afraid I will fail. It is easier to live with failing to have good voice than to try to improve and fail to have good voice. It is something I have to overcome. When I get misgendered now, I have the anxiety added of why haven't I dealt with this yet.
So, don't give into fear ruling your life, and if you are new, don't panic, we are all in the same boat, battling to be our true selves.
Moni
Thank You Moni... Love Ya Sister!!! 👩❤️👩 ...My voice is still not where I would like it despite what people tell me... Maybe you and I should go to Yeson together one of these days!!! 😀!!!!
Sara (dist123) 😀!!!! As you picture what is ahead don't let it overwhelm you.... The journey of a thousand steps is taken one step at a time... There may be days when you bound down your path as free as a bird and other days when you crawl painfully but ever forward...
Now that you have pointed yourself in the right direction, each step will bring you closer.... Don't think only about the destination though, find the value in each day and each step... Keep your eyes open because the whole ride is an amazing thing not to be missed...
Please let me know if I can ever be of help along the way
Onward we go!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
I was affraid to except I am a transgender because of fear from rejected by family and friends, and I was so miserable all the time. Until I take matter in my old hands looks for help. After two sessions with my Behavior Health Therapist I was diagnose as Transgender Identity issue. My Therapist told being transgender are who I am, and if I keep denied that then I will miserable for the rest of my life. She also said I should except and do some things for my transgender, and I look her in the eyes and said I just want to become a woman for a long time. She then setup follow up appointment on December Fourth for me to begin my HRT and transition. That the most happy moments of my life to be who I am.
Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk
Quote from: tgirlamc on November 19, 2017, 10:14:53 AM
Thank You Moni... Love Ya Sister!!! 👩❤️👩 ...My voice is still not where I would like it despite what people tell me... Maybe you and I should go to Yeson together one of these days!!! 😀!!!!
Sara (dist123) 😀!!!! As you picture what is ahead don't let it overwhelm you.... The journey of a thousand steps is taken one step at a time... There may be days when you bound down your path as free as a bird and other days when you crawl painfully but ever forward...
Now that you have pointed yourself in the right direction, each step will bring you closer.... Don't think only about the destination though, find the value in each day and each step... Keep your eyes open because the whole ride is an amazing thing not to be missed...
Please let me know if I can ever be of help along the way
Onward we go!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Ashley, you and I haven't ever had a real consistent conversation (unfortunately), but I want you to know that you are inspirational. You are always so helpful to people and positive in your outlook. I am thankful you are here. As for the voice surgery, I would love your company but I am not convinced of the potential result. I can't get away from the fact that I need to put in the hard work of training.
Quote from: Meghan on November 19, 2017, 10:30:10 AM
I was affraid to except I am a transgender because of fear from rejected by family and friends, and I was so miserable all the time. Until I take matter in my old hands looks for help. After two sessions with my Behavior Health Therapist I was diagnose as Transgender Identity issue. My Therapist told being transgender are who I am, and if I keep denied that then I will miserable for the rest of my life. She also said I should except and do some things for my transgender, and I look her in the eyes and said I just want to become a woman for a long time. She then setup follow up appointment on December Fourth for me to begin my HRT and transition. That the most happy moments of my life to be who I am.
Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk
Meghan, this is very exciting to hear. I look forward to your progress, and wish you only the best.
Moni
Quote from: Meghan on November 19, 2017, 10:30:10 AM
That the most happy moments of my life to be who I am.
I couldn't say it any better myself Meghan... That's what it is all about! ...So happy for your upcoming HRT appointment! You have an amazing life awaiting that is yours to claim... Let me know if I can ever be of help along the way!
Moni! ...
Thank you for the kind words sister! ...I have always greatly appreciated your presence here as well and all your good efforts to bring smiles, humor and a positive outlook to the table!!! 😀!!!!
You are right though, it is kind of funny we have never ended up in more direct conversation in the postings during our time here...Just the nature of thread posting dynamics I guess! But, I am going to remedy that and get a PM off to you later today so we can catch up on what we've missed! 😀!!!
Onward we go!!!
Ashley :)
Thanks everyone I will post the update after appointment next Monday.
Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk
December is right around the corner!
Thanks Ashley [emoji4]
My emotions are changing and I have to embrace them one at a time!
Lately I've been really relating to my 13 year old niece. Then I have to remind myself she's half my age! [emoji23]
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
You are so right about fear Ashley, it was fear that stopped me transitioning the first time ( 20 years ago ) & it was fear that stopped me trying again until this year for a second time.
Sometimes it drives us to become better people or it can destroy us .
Sara.
Quote from: coldHeart on November 19, 2017, 04:23:16 PM
You are so right about fear Ashley, it was fear that stopped me transitioning the first time ( 20 years ago ) & it was fear that stopped me trying again until this year for a second time.
Sometimes it drives us to become better people or it can destroy us .
Sara.
Sara...
I am still aglow with the knowledge you have put fear in it's proper place and the challenges ahead into their proper perspective!!! When left unmanaged fear can destroy but, in the end, it only has the power that we give to it...
Hugs and Love Dear Sister! Onward we go....
A😀❤️🌻
Just beautiful! And so true.
Ashley, that's beautifully written and such a truth behind those words.
Thanks for writing them x
Siobhan
Quote from: tgirlamc on November 17, 2017, 02:57:24 PM
Hi All
I put together some thoughts yesterday in a post I made in the introduction forum and felt moved to share them here in the general forum... So many of the postings I see here involve fear.... fear of moving forward toward what we want... fear of how people will react and treat us if we show them who we truly are inside... fear of judgement...
When we are near the end of our time here and list our regrets... the things we wished we had dared to do... what would we give at that point for one more chance to go back and see what could have been... If fear had not chosen our path for us
Anyway, my friends.. For what it is worth... My thoughts on the subject...
There are many examples, here on this forum and in the lives of those around you, of people letting fear keep them from what they want in their life.... It is human nature to take the unknowns about a situation that has not yet occurred and insert our deepest fears into the blanks
We place the obstacle of fear in our own path and it can block our way for a very long time, perhaps a lifetime, if we allow it... On the other side of the obstacle of fear is the very thing that we seek...
In "Letters to a Young Poet" Ranier Rilke said... " Our fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure"
Fear is an emotion that is there to keep us safe but we must remain vigilant not to let it rule us...
You may very likely be attaching these fears to how you envision the reactions of family and friends or how you will be treated in everyday life...
When we open the door and set out on a journey to express our true self... It is a very spiritual thing that we do.... How can family and friends truly love us if they have not seen who we truly are?.... At a very deep level... Transition is an attempt to put ourself in a place in our life where we can truly give and receive love
Another result of opening that journey is that our relationships to others and the world will change to some degree or another... It is possible we will lose our relationship to some of those in our life that we thought of as close while other relationships will blossom, grow stronger and adapt in beautiful and unexpected ways... As we walk this new path, new faces will appear as well,...to care for us and to be cared for by us...
In the end we all will proceed in the manner that suits us best... You, my dear friend, hold the steering wheel of your life...I would urge you to not allow fear to take the wheel from your hands...
Onward we go brave friends
Ashley :)
Before i came out as a women, i had fear for many years. Untill one day i said enough, is enough, i must be honest to everyone about who i am. And life has been much better since. To choose to goo against fear, was the best Choice in my life.
Quote from: tgirlamc on November 18, 2017, 10:35:08 AM
Many thanks to you all for both the kind words as well as your own beautifully expressed thoughts!!!
There is so much that is ours to claim in this journey that is good... that is liberating....that challenges us... that connects us... that offers possibilities that were never ours to consider before.
We have often spent a lifetime trying what doesn't work for us... when we finally come to realize what we think might work... we see the enormity of the journey and the challenges to come...
Our fears will always be one of the voices in the room and that is a good thing... It offers us perspective and much of transition involves finding new perspectives on our life. I think though...If you find that fear is consistently the loudest voice in the room... it needs to be told to be quiet for a while so the other voices can speak too... for there is much for them to discuss on the subjects of hope, possibilities and Love....
Onward we go brave friends...
Ashley :)
Ashley, you are such an inspiration to me as well as so many. Your physical changes are amazing but your positive outlook and emotional comfort are awe inspiring!!
Thank You!!
Desire
Fear is natural. People don't like change because it challenges what is, and makes us extend ourselves.
Fear didn't stop me from living as openly gay in the early 90's when it was a bit more of an issue than now
Fear didn't stop me moving to South Korea and living there for 14 years
Fear didn't stop me from meeting from my wife and eventually proposing
Fear (and sheer pain!) didn't stop me from training to cycle 24 hours non stop events for 4 years
Fear didn't stop me coming back to New Zealand, living apart from family for 2 years and qualifying as a special needs teacher
Fear didn't stop me getting a job in a market were no was the normal answer
and fear won't stop me from becoming the person I know I need to be.
Embrace your fears - they challenge your thinking and offer new and exciting roads to travel. I for one will go to my end and have as few 'I wish I hads..' as possible.
Desire... Thanks so much for the sweet words!
Krobinson... Thanks so much for the examples of challenges faced both boldly and successfully with fear in its proper perspective!
Onward we go!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
I could have sworn I'd already commented on this, but apparently not. It is all truly inspirational.
I don't know what the criteria are, but this is so good that it should be read by everyone. I vote that this gets stickied.
- Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on December 24, 2017, 06:09:58 PM
I could have sworn I'd already commented on this, but apparently not. It is all truly inspirational.
I don't know what the criteria are, but this is so good that it should be read by everyone. I vote that this gets stickied.
- Stephanie
Steph!!!
Thank you for the vote of confidence, sweet sister!!!
I have been moving towards putting some words together for a few more " Thoughts On The Subject Of..." threads dealing with some of the other issues that are at the heart of many of the common struggles we see here on regular basis...
The subject of "Perspective" in our journey, because it can often be lost and much of the challenges we face can be navigated by looking at our life and our relationship to the world in new ways...
Also, the subject of "passing" because it is a goal that can become the source of such misery and anguish if we allow it that power over us...
Onward we go brave sister!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Quote from: tgirlamc on December 24, 2017, 06:38:28 PM
Also, the subject of "passing" because it is a goal that can become the source of such misery and anguish if we allow it that power over us...
This is something I've been having a hard time with lately. I look forward to your thoughts on the subject!
Steph
I loved this post and you're so right. I struggle with fear a lot living in stealth. It can be isolating. My transition has ultimately been a liberating, freeing journey but I still struggle with fear. Definitely needed to read this. :)
Quote from: tgirlamc on November 17, 2017, 02:57:24 PM
Hi All
I put together some thoughts yesterday in a post I made in the introduction forum and felt moved to share them here in the general forum... So many of the postings I see here involve fear.... fear of moving forward toward what we want... fear of how people will react and treat us if we show them who we truly are inside... fear of judgement...
When we are near the end of our time here and list our regrets... the things we wished we had dared to do... what would we give at that point for one more chance to go back and see what could have been... If fear had not chosen our path for us
Anyway, my friends.. For what it is worth... My thoughts on the subject...
There are many examples, here on this forum and in the lives of those around you, of people letting fear keep them from what they want in their life.... It is human nature to take the unknowns about a situation that has not yet occurred and insert our deepest fears into the blanks
We place the obstacle of fear in our own path and it can block our way for a very long time, perhaps a lifetime, if we allow it... On the other side of the obstacle of fear is the very thing that we seek...
In "Letters to a Young Poet" Ranier Rilke said... " Our fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure"
Fear is an emotion that is there to keep us safe but we must remain vigilant not to let it rule us...
You may very likely be attaching these fears to how you envision the reactions of family and friends or how you will be treated in everyday life...
When we open the door and set out on a journey to express our true self... It is a very spiritual thing that we do.... How can family and friends truly love us if they have not seen who we truly are?.... At a very deep level... Transition is an attempt to put ourself in a place in our life where we can truly give and receive love
Another result of opening that journey is that our relationships to others and the world will change to some degree or another... It is possible we will lose our relationship to some of those in our life that we thought of as close while other relationships will blossom, grow stronger and adapt in beautiful and unexpected ways... As we walk this new path, new faces will appear as well,...to care for us and to be cared for by us...
In the end we all will proceed in the manner that suits us best... You, my dear friend, hold the steering wheel of your life...I would urge you to not allow fear to take the wheel from your hands...
Onward we go brave friends
Ashley :)
Well expressed my Sister!
Quote from: Mermaiden92 on January 07, 2018, 03:52:22 PM
I loved this post and you're so right. I struggle with fear a lot living in stealth. It can be isolating. My transition has ultimately been a liberating, freeing journey but I still struggle with fear. Definitely needed to read this. :)
Hi Mermaiden!
Welcome to the forum sister!!!
I'm so glad you found some value in the thread... Living 100% stealth always seemed to me like it would be a major source of stress to me and the fear of discovery would color my every interaction with others... I'm sorry that you are feeling some isolatation resulting from your choice... I think in the end, much of transition is about connecting to others as our true self...
My hope is that you will remain open to considering other options if living stealth is not giving you what you want out of the experience!
Wishing you all good things dear sister!!!
Hugs!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Quote from: Mermaiden92 on January 07, 2018, 03:52:22 PM
I loved this post and you're so right. I struggle with fear a lot living in stealth. It can be isolating. My transition has ultimately been a liberating, freeing journey but I still struggle with fear. Definitely needed to read this. :)
Hi, Mermaiden!
I notice that you are new here, so I would like to welcome you to Susan's.
Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) to tell the members about yourself. Here is some information that we like to share with new members:
Things that you should read
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Fear is an odd thing. Often maligned. And with often good reason. But fear can be healthy. It's the thing that stops us putting our hand into the fire because we know it will get burned. It's the thing that stops us walking into the middle of a busy road, because we know it's highly likely we'll be hit by something.
It's a defense mechanism designed to protect our lives from danger. Ever since the large, furry, toothy things threatened people living in caves. It's not something to be conquered, but I think more something to be understood.
I have often thought that our fears are inversely proportional to our self belief. The more we feel we can't deal with something, the more scared we are of it. And I don't think that's a result of the fear itself, but more the result of our resilience. It's a knee jerk reaction by the mind to try and protect us in our vulnerable state. A sort of last resort "emergency button" when the mind doesn't know what else to do.
This is no more evident than in the fear of the unknown. That blanket term for anything we can't yet have any sort of control over. This is often the most paralysing fear because we make everything seem the worst it can possibly be. And again I think this is more as a result of our mental state than any sort of insight about the thing in question. Low self esteem, low feelings of self worth, low belief in our own capabilities all collaborate to show a lovely little in-flight movie of the plane crashing. And because of that, the fear button is pressed. Hard and repeatedly.
While I agree that we are responsible for the fears we have, ultimately, I do not think it's intentional. In fact I think most of the time it's entirely subconscious. An emotional reflex action, if you like. I used to believe it was a case of someone's will being stronger than the fear in question but now I don't think I do. That turns it into a battle with your own mind. And it doesn't need to be that.
I think the first step to overcoming fear is understanding why it's there. What it is that your mind is deciding to be all Kevin Costner to. In my opinion it's better to think of oneself. Not as fear as some objective entity. And to think about why we feel we need fear there. This is hard. We do enough soul searching as it is. But I do believe that the key lies within us, and how we feel about ourselves. Speaking personally, doing this helped me deal with all fears, not specific ones. It didn't turn into a war with a series of battles to be overcome. But something where the other side stopped showing up.
In my opinion, fear isn't an obstacle. It's a scab. It's protecting a wound we suffered at some point. A part of ourselves which is extremely fragile. But sometimes those wounds don't heal. And the fear never goes away. To remove these scabs, we have to heal the wounds they're covering. I think a lot of that comes from looking at one's self esteem and self worth.
I'll give you a hypothetical example: Suppose at some point in your life you tried to do something. You tried to express yourself. The way you looked maybe. You tried to change your clothing style, or your hairstyle. Or you tried to express your emotions to someone. Maybe you instinctively cried at a movie. Or did something very "out-of-character". And the response you got was hurtful. Or angry. Or people ridiculing you for being someone they didn't think you should be. It hurt you, made you feel like if you tried to do something to express yourself and be the real you... people in your life would react negatively to it. So you began to believe that it just wasn't worth it to try and be yourself. That you should never deviate from the life path everyone around you had set out for you. That people around you would hate the real you.
The fear you build up is the fear of being hurt again. It's the fear of being right back in that memory. That single snapshot of your life is what everything from here on out is based on. Like a cascade reaction you think back to all the emotions associated with that memory. How it made you feel. And your mind is like "Nope.com. Where's that big red fear button?!"
See fear is taken, imo, from frozen singular points in time. Points where the wounds were created. The mind sometimes doesn't get that as individuals we've grown, and learned. Or that other people may have grown and learned. It's always "Do this and it's just going to be like it was before."
What I would say to people dealing with fear is this: Look how far you've come. Look at how much strength you've already shown. Done things you maybe never thought you can do. See the positive inside yourself, and how much you can actually deal with. You've taken hard steps. All of you. Even just admitting to yourselves who you are is an incredibly hard thing to do. Overcoming the barriers thrown up by your own psyche is, in a lot of ways, harder than anything anyone else can do to you. And in that, you have strength and resilience, because you're still here. The one person you have to live with, and deal with twenty four hours a day is yourself. When you make peace with that, and resolve to be yourself, then that is probably a bigger barrier than anyone else can put in front of you.
Then ask yourself... if you can overcome the fear of facing yourself... then do you really need to be scared of the steps you want to take to make yourself a reality? We are harsher critics of ourselves than anyone else can ever be... and if we've gotten to a place where we accept who we are, then do we really have to be scared of whether someone else does?
Is that fear really necessary? Or can we finally allow the scab to fall off and walk unblemished into a new life?
OMG Ashley you made me cry. That was so beautiful. You touched my heart. Not only are you a beauty on the outside but you have a beautiful mind. OMG i'm sitting here wiping away tears.
Love
Bobbie LeAnn
Sephirah!!!... Thank you so much for adding your beautiful and, as always, well expressed thoughts to the mix here dear sister!
Bobbie LeAnn!!!... Im so glad you discovered something here of value to carry with you along your journey!!!
Onward we go brave sisters!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Ashley,
Beautiful post. I think you are right. We let fear control so much of our lives. I know I am guilty of this in many areas of my life. I sent a copy of your wise words to my daughter and hope it can give her the strength that she needs right now. <3
Quote from: LJH24 on January 15, 2018, 11:09:17 AM
Ashley,
Beautiful post. I think you are right. We let fear control so much of our lives. I know I am guilty of this in many areas of my life. I sent a copy of your wise words to my daughter and hope it can give her the strength that she needs right now. <3
Thank you for the kind words LJH...
I know there are so many worries for you, as a parent, about what's the future holds for your daughter!... Be heartened!... She will find her way!!!... She will find and gather a sense her own power to shape her own life with each challenge faced... From her struggles... strength will grow... Keep doing what you are doing... Let her know she is loved, supported and never alone...
All will be well
Onward we go!!!
Ashley 🌻
Quote from: tgirlamc on January 07, 2018, 05:06:47 PM
Hi Mermaiden!
Welcome to the forum sister!!!
I'm so glad you found some value in the thread... Living 100% stealth always seemed to me like it would be a major source of stress to me and the fear of discovery would color my every interaction with others... I'm sorry that you are feeling some isolatation resulting from your choice... I think in the end, much of transition is about connecting to others as our true self...
My hope is that you will remain open to considering other options if living stealth is not giving you what you want out of the experience!
Wishing you all good things dear sister!!!
Hugs!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Yes, the fear of discovery is on my mind a lot in my day to day life. One of the most challenging, disappointing aspects of living in stealth that I've dealt with is not being able to share my story with some of my closest friends. I have several friends I've met through work that I love dearly and who I know would be supportive of my journey. However, I am not able to share such a big part of my life with them because I worry that it could potentially cost me my job. I work with children and am afraid that if I was out at work one of the parents might have an issue and my boss would have to let me go. It is a depressing reality that I have to live with but I try to focus on the positives.
Quote from: Mermaiden92 on January 15, 2018, 06:30:42 PM
Yes, the fear of discovery is on my mind a lot in my day to day life. One of the most challenging, disappointing aspects of living in stealth that I've dealt with is not being able to share my story with some of my closest friends. I have several friends I've met through work that I love dearly and who I know would be supportive of my journey. However, I am not able to share such a big part of my life with them because I worry that it could potentially cost me my job. I work with children and am afraid that if I was out at work one of the parents might have an issue and my boss would have to let me go. It is a depressing reality that I have to live with but I try to focus on the positives.
Hey Mermaiden!!!
I can appreciate what a difficult spot that would be to be in... Things can get very delicate with with employment in connection with children in the mix... it SHOULD NOT be like that but, sadly, IT IS a reality we must deal with....
I hope you find this forum to be a place where you can find some connections with friends that your current situation doesn't allow you at this time!
Many girls here see living stealth as a promised land where all problems fade away...I would encourage you to share some of your victories and struggles here to provide some balanced perspective on that approach! ... All decisions in life have trade offs and I know there would be many lessons to be learned from what you have experienced...
Onward we go brave sister!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Quote from: tgirlamc on November 17, 2017, 02:57:24 PM
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In "Letters to a Young Poet" Ranier Rilke said... " Our fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure"
Fear is an emotion that is there to keep us safe but we must remain vigilant not to let it rule us...
(...)
So True, Ashley!!!
Beautiful words :)
Hugs & Love,
Alysha