Hey guys,
So I was just wondering if anyone experiences something similar. I have been using the mens room for months and I pass 100% so I don't have any issues going in there. However, when it comes time to pee, I get really nervous that guys in the bathroom are going to know I'm sitting down to pee and they are going to somehow find out I'm trans and something bad will happen to me. If there are other men in the bathroom, I usually get so anxious that I have to wait until the bathroom clears out, or wait until there is noise, and then I'll pee.
It's weird because I don't have any issues sitting down to pee. I don't really want to get an STP or use a urinal, because I don't really have any bottom dysphoria or dysphoria with using stalls. I just get hyper self conscious about it when there are other men in the bathroom, especially when it's quiet. I used to stand above the toilet and pee but it's so much easier just to sit down that I've stopped doing that.
So basically, do men notice if you're sitting down to pee? Has anyone ever like been "found out" or anything in the bathroom for sitting down? Is it even possible to tell like the height that the pee is coming from? I want to be able to use the mens room without so much anxiety, but it's just hard to as of right now.
Ive heard that some cis men get public bathroom anxiety and pee in the stalls too. Also some men simply feel more comfortable sitting. Its not unusual so you wont be outed purely because people can hear that youre peeing in a stall
Nobody is going to care. People in the bathroom generally mind their own business and don't give a second thought to what anyone else is doing in there.
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While being mtf I may not be the best example, but I always used the stall personally. No one ever seemed to care. General unspoken rule in the men's room seems to be keep your head down and ignore everyone else(lest someone think you're gay probably being the reason, since it seems to drive a lot of male behavior).
If you are really worried, just sit there for a minute more before getting any toilet paper and if anyone is being hyper observant for a change, they won't know you just peed.
Honestly men don't notice other men in the bathroom. They just go in, quickly do there thing and get out. Some men like my dad rather use the stalls than use a urinal. Nobody notices or have thought to notice if a man firs the right criteria to be in a men's toilets or whether they're using the stall to pee
People always expect to see zebras when they hear hooves, while horses would make a lot more sense.
In other words, you are expecting guys to immediately think you are something out of the ordinary, while they probably think 'that guy is just ->-bleeped-<-ting' if they think anything at all.
Of all things a guy could be thinking about in the bathroom, I doubt the sound of your pee in the stalls is even on the list.
I'm aware of how different it sounds between guys and girls, and so are most transsexuals, I imagine, but for most people? Nah. They're probably just trying to get done and get out of the public bathroom. I never met anyone who likes hanging around in there.
I sit to pee in the men's room. My dad sits to pee so it doesn't seem weird to me. I am a little worried because sometimes you can just hear what everyone's up to in there. If you pass gas while you're in the stall that's a pretty good blind.
STP devices just strike me as more trouble than they're worth if you're trying to pass in public. (Unless you spend every weekend in bars with no stalls or something.)
As one that had to use the men's room for most of my life now, no we don't notice that someone is sitting to pee. In face we are just like women we use the restroom and go out. Men as a whole we are in and out. Unlike the women's room where I have noticed they like to talk to each other. I have to get used to this. So no one will out you using the restroom for this. In fact I used to sit a bit to go pee because using the urinal can be messy sometimes. You should be perfectly good!!!!!
Quote from: Jailyn on November 22, 2017, 07:16:24 AM
In fact I used to sit a bit to go pee because using the urinal can be messy sometimes. You should be perfectly good!!!!!
Someone always spills their lemonade all over the floor next to the urinals. It's quite inconvenient.
Don't worry about it. In my experience, men do not share the female paranoia about people of the "wrong" gender entering rest rooms. Even if they knew that you are trans, most men would not bat an eyelid. I have even seen little girls coming out of the male stalls. Their fathers, waiting nearby, obviously did not want to even risk sending them into the Ladies room on their own.
A cis woman once came into a Gents room while I was having a pee many years ago, and she seemed in no hurry to leave. All she got was surprised looks and nobody said anything.
I know .. ftm but I do have a long history as male ...
messy urinals? yep, edges, floors, walls, I've seen it all. Some men can't aim or simply don't care. Unfortunately, that holds true for the stalls as well. The mess required to clean up before use sometimes is truly gross - when desperate, cleanup is the only option. I haven't stood to pee since I started tucking, I don't miss it and actually prefer it to standing.
So, you guys can decide on your own but for me, as a mtf, it'll be stalls from now on.
Quote from: Faith on November 22, 2017, 09:12:08 AM
I know .. ftm but I do have a long history as male ...
messy urinals? yep, edges, floors, walls, I've seen it all. Some men can't aim or simply don't care. Unfortunately, that holds true for the stalls as well. The mess required to clean up before use sometimes is truly gross - when desperate, cleanup is the only option. I haven't stood to pee since I started tucking, I don't miss it and actually prefer it to standing.
So, you guys can decide on your own but for me, as a mtf, it'll be stalls from now on.
I think females are just as gross in the bathroom as guys. I've seen bloody tampons on the floor, blood all over the seat, poo poo all over the seats and smelly diapers stuffed into the tampon disposal box. With guys it's pee all over the floor. With woman it's nasty period stuff.
I always go for a stall and sit to pee. I used to be very paranoid about it, but it never materialized. If there's someone else, I just relax longer, making sure he leaves the restroom before me (or making sure at least I took enough time for no 2).
After all is said and done, it's no one else business how you do it. Maybe you're paranoid and don't want to be attacked from the back when facing urinals? Or maybe you're packing your concealed carry gun and don't want it to be seen? (I've read most cops use stalls for those reasons, btw). Or maybe you just like it that way? Nobody's business. No guy would ever raise the subject, and if he does - he's much more across the bounds than you are.
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Before my transition my whole life I had shy bladder and used a stall. It's not something that happens all that often, but it does get noticed a little. It is typically considered emmasculating to pee sitting down, but it's not that big of a deal. It sounds like you have a good strategy though, as you can tell if the person who is sitting to pee has a penis or not based on the sound of the stream and the angle it his.
as a transwoman I face a similar dilemma, though if I manipulate my penis a certain way when I sit to urinate it sounds the same as a cis-female.
Thanks for the replies, everyone, it definitely helped me calm down a little about it. Next time I'll try just relaxing and doing it and hopefully I'll get more used to it.
Sat in the mens restroom a ton over the years and no one pays attention to the fact that your sitting. Hugs
Mariah
I used to think other guys would find it weird and it would out me as not belonging there, but then one day when I was the only person in the bathroom right beforehand, this big buff super masculine dude came in, sat to do his business, and then walked out like it was completely normal for him.
I have never had a problem with sitting to pee in the men's room since.
Heh I grew up around boats so I always sit to pee out of habit standing to pee in a six foot swell is a good way to make a mess and obtain a lot of bruses. Never had to use it as an excuse.
I've been using stalls in men's bathrooms for roughly two years now, haven't encountered any issues whatsoever. I do get nervous when all the stalls are taken, but not because of the people. I have a bladder condition which impacts how much warning I get and how long I can hold before the floodgates open. If I'm busting to go before I get there, I imagine I probably give off some anxious vibes.
My only gripe about using the men's is the pee, something I'd only encountered a handful of times in the women's. Some people seem like they couldn't hit the broadside of a barn if it was in front of them given how often I've had to wipe up urine off the seat (not talking a few drops either). Least they could do is lift the seat before unleashing the torrent. Could be worse I guess, could be vomit and pee like there was in a disabled stall I went into last week. :eusa_sick:
I was self conscious the first few months. An STP is just super inconvenient and in my opinion unsanitary. I go to a stall and sit to pee and don't think twice about it. If you are at the point where you 100% are read as male by folks you gotta realize that it would never occur to most of them that a possible explanation for you sitting to pee is that you are trans. Most cis people are so clueless about it. They have an assumption of what we look like and think they can easily pick us out of a crowd, hence the bathroom controversy we saw a year or so ago.
Also some cis men sit to pee for comfort or medical reasons. In fact there are medical professionals out there that say men should sit to pee for health. If anyone ever made a remark to me I'd probably say prostate problems and watch them sheepishly slink away.
While I do still worry unreasonably even after several years, I worry more that I am using toilet paper after I pee. If nobody is in the bathroom, I grab a hunk of TP first so that a newcomer won't hear me spinning the roll.
I have been using the men's for over 2 yrs and never had a problem; guys go in there to pee and get out as fast as they can, no chatting, looking around all business. I sit all the time, never found a stp that really works for me. The first time I had to pee so bad that I went immediately and then realized that I am peeing in the men's and doesn't it sound any different, who will know, etc. No one looked or said anything to me ever. I have at times had to change a tampon in there as well with no problems, rapped the old one up well and stuck it the trash.
Honestly, it seems that most men DGAF what's going on in the mens room. It seems like they just want to do their business and leave.
Ryuichi
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Quote from: mm on November 25, 2017, 03:52:58 PM
I am peeing in the men's and doesn't it sound any different, who will know, etc.
^^ Exactly.
I would like to meet the Holmesian level detective who outs someone in the men's room by the sound of their peeing. ;D
Quote from: Arch on November 25, 2017, 03:07:21 PM
While I do still worry unreasonably even after several years, I worry more that I am using toilet paper after I pee. If nobody is in the bathroom, I grab a hunk of TP first so that a newcomer won't hear me spinning the roll.
I've at times in the past carried a travel size pack of tissues in my back pocket for this.
I use the stalls in the men's room as well since I've started transitioning and I didn't have phalloplasty yet either so I am in the same unfortunate situation.
I don't get anxiety at all even though I did have some paranoid thoughts and occasionally still get them.
But in reality no one ever cared and no one paid attention to me just as I didn't pay any attention to them. So no, no one has ever noticed or even taken a weird look at me in the men's room.
In the women's room before I transitioned on the other hand I got stared at and had to deal with teenage girls shocked screeching when I entered and a lady who wanted to send me away. And then there were some experiences where some weird women wanted to engage in a conversation with me in a public restroom when I just wanted to do my business and get out of there as soon as possible. Honestly the men's room is much less bothersome!
I feel highly uncomfortable and inadequate for having to sit down though but that has nothing to do with any other men in the restroom at all, it is internal and due to my severe bottom dysphoria that makes me feel like garbage for having this wrong, useless equipment that forces me to pee like a chick.
I don't use STP's either even though I have that extreme bottom dysphoria because I find them impractical and incredibly unhygienic.
With that being said I will still use the stalls when I will finally have had phalloplasty later for a simple reason: I hate it to have people in my back where I can't see them when I am doing something, no matter what it is I am doing. Hence I'd still voluntarily use the stalls to pee but I would never sit to pee again.
Frankly I learned early on, if I pee at the trough, I will end up with pee all over me. So I have been sitting to pee forever.
Quote from: Arch on November 25, 2017, 03:07:21 PM
While I do still worry unreasonably even after several years, I worry more that I am using toilet paper after I pee. If nobody is in the bathroom, I grab a hunk of TP first so that a newcomer won't hear me spinning the roll.
I shouldn't worry about that, I used to have a Prince Albert piercing, one of the downside of which is that it makes the initial flow of the the stream somewhat unpredictable. So I just got into the habit of sitting to pee for cleanliness sake, and the clean up (drying the jewellery, so as to not have drips of urine running down your leg) afterwards always required toilet paper.
For 4 years before I started to transition Mtf I sat down to pee. My prostate was giving me problems and all standing up did was create a mess to clean up. No one will care. :)