Sometimes I want to post thoughts on the forum to help get them out of my head. Sometimes I really don't want or need a response.
This thread is for anyone to post any trans* related thought they wish (within TOCs), and it's kindly asked that these NOT be responded to.
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In Thailand there's a doctor who does SRS really cheaply (compared to most surgeons) with local anaesthetic, pretty much if you walk in from the street if you are not Thai. I think I read somewhere that he can arrange a meeting with a local therapist to get a letter.
Members on Susan's Place have warned against it, having reasonable concerns about health and the quality of the results.
Gosh, I wish, that there was someone like that in England, though. I think that for me it would be worth the risk, though I wouldn't recommend it to others.
An odd thing: picking up T from the pharmacy earlier, four prescriptions awaited me and not the usual one. I ended up paying 4 x as much as expected, but given the erratic situation in UK pharmacies with T, a 5 month supply probably isn't a bad thing. . .
But I wonder what might have happened to have duplicated my prescription. The staff didn't seem aware.
Too. Many. Emotions.
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If things go literally tits up with my transition I can take a lot of crap and try to smile but if I lose Harley my lovely rescue dog ( who wakes me at first light, chews my cycle gear and cuddles into me at dark) I'll be heart broken, his life is special. I don't know if this is terrible to post but it's in my thoughts when I'm emotional.
Thanks giving was awesome no drama, good food, nice people, good food, interesting conversation, more good food.....but I'm feeling empty. normally I put on some excessively loud music to drown out my thoughts, loose myself in a book, play some dark souls, take an excessively long hot shower, walk untill my feet hurt, or watch some slice of life anime, but as much as I love those things and as affective as they are at pulling me back to a better place some days I just can't bring myself to make the effort to push back and search for that happy place. So I stop and think about all the things that aren't going my way that I can't do anything about (at least right now) and search for a bit of sadness and longing. I feel like it's better than the nothing and even though I'm sad it feels good to feel something and gives me just a bit of hope that it's not as bad as it was.
And I guess for that I am thankful.
I learned (off handedly) that if I come out, I'll have to get out. If I were to stay with my aunt and transition, she wouldn't get to see her grandkids. Passing the stick...
Seeing my family twice this weekend after 3 months is overkill for me
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Consumed with being right, oblivious to acting right.