I will be going down to my parents house after the first of the year & I will be coming out to them as MtF Transgender and I would like to know if anyone out there knows of any booklets I could give them that may help to answer any questions that they may have as well as helping them understand what I am going through. I do not think this is going to be a pleasant trip because my folks are live on the Mississippi Gulf Coast & they have very traditional views on such things, (like it ain't normal, it is against God's laws, and such things as that). I do expect this to be a very emotional time for me as was well as them, so anything that could help would be great. :icon_help:
Hello, Ericka,
You might try a Google search on things like "transgender resources Atlanta" or Washington, DC, or any other large city and see if they can help you.
I wish you well and a good meeting with your family.
Wing Walker
Quote from: ErickaM on December 11, 2007, 06:15:40 PM
I will be going down to my parents house after the first of the year & I will be coming out to them as MtF Transgender and I would like to know if anyone out there knows of any booklets I could give them that may help to answer any questions that they may have as well as helping them understand what I am going through. I do not think this is going to be a pleasant trip because my folks are live on the Mississippi Gulf Coast & they have very traditional views on such things, (like it ain't normal, it is against God's laws, and such things as that). I do expect this to be a very emotional time for me as was well as them, so anything that could help would be great. :icon_help:
I don't think reading a booklet is going to help........Every parent is different and every person reacts differently to a situation. Are you parents young or old? If they are younger it may be easier to talk to them.
My situation is a bit different as I have always been fairly feminine in the way I've presented myself from early teens, so my parents saw that in me as I was growing up and my mum doesn't see much difference in me. I did it in a long time span and I think it's best to gradually introduce different things but not throw it at your parents all at once....
https://www.susans.org/wiki/The_Closet
This link will get you to our Wiki and its section of articles on coming out.
Good luck, Ericka!
Hugs & smiles
Emelye
On Thursday, 20Dec07, I came out to my sister this is the first person of my family I have told. My therapist had asked who in my family would be supportive in coming out to my family and I thought it would be this sister, hell I got 3, and I was right she was rather surprised that I have came terms with being Trans she had as much as suspected. She is my step sister but we have known each other all of our lives and she is only a month older than I, 43, and she remembers how much I struggled with cross dressing when we were kids & she remember the beatings I use to get from our dad. I asked her if she could meet me in Southern Mississippi, where I grew up next month when I plan on coming out to my folks; thanks goodness she said she would try to get the time off from work. I really don't know how they are going to take it, I know that it really doesn't matter what they have to say 'cuz transition is still going to happen. But I'm hoping that is goes well I really don't want o loss my family but I am bracing myself for just that.
Hey Ericka,
I just came out to my family this past July and know the stress your feeling. I'm glad to hear about your sister being accepting to it, one of my sisters was much like your's...she basically said 'It's about time!' and that she would rather have another sister then a dead brother. It can be great having an ally on your side, not only some to stand beside you when you're coming-out, but someone who's shoulder you can cry on if things don't go all that well.
When I came out I gave each person a copy of 'True Selves' along with a couple of essays/journal entries that I had written myself. For me, since my family is spread across the globe, I came out to my family via a letter. Trying to coordinate the timing of making sure all the packages got delivered on the same day took a bit of work! You can read a copy of my coming-out letter to my father on my blog at http://isabelle-st-pierre.com/?p=26 (http://isabelle-st-pierre.com/?p=26)
All you can do is hope for the best when it comes to coming-out to family, but as I always tell people...plan for the worst! That way you'll be pleasantly surprised when/if things go better then your worst case scenario.
I wish you the best of luck and I'll be thinking about you as the day draws near.
Peace and love,
Izzy
Just a general observation: In the process and act of living as who we are it isn't how we affect others that is nearly as important as how we allow them to affect us. I keep my shell handy and I have learned to blow them off, especially "family."
The second after a person comes out to their family there is a huge change in the state of the world, so to speak. The person coming out is still the person they always were. The family members usually become even more narrow-minded and turn into blithering fools who cannot say your name.
I never let anyone like that worry me.
I hope that this helps.
Wing Walker
Thanks for all the input...this is a this is very stressful & my S.O. isn't helping matters either she doesn't want to go down to Ol' Miss with me 'cuz she just don't want hear any yelling that may occur, I have ensured her that if one person raises their voice I'm out of there and if it is for good that is their call. But I am bracing for the worst, thanks y'all.
Quote from: ErickaM on December 26, 2007, 08:51:24 PM
Thanks for all the input...this is a this is very stressful & my S.O. isn't helping matters either she doesn't want to go down to Ol' Miss with me 'cuz she just don't want hear any yelling that may occur, I have ensured her that if one person raises their voice I'm out of there and if it is for good that is their call. But I am bracing for the worst, thanks y'all.
Never allow yourself to lose control of the situation. The person asking the questions is leading the conversation.
If addressed by an improper name of pronoun, respond with, "What did you say?" Ask that exact question enough times and either the speaker will say something else or you will see your cue to head for the door, grace and temper intact.
You have one thing that they don't: two lives in the same lifetime.
You're welcome, Ericka.
Wing Walker
Quote from: Wing Walker on December 26, 2007, 09:01:49 PMNever allow yourself to lose control of the situation. The person asking the questions is leading the conversation.
A very good point! It is your coming-out and you need to be the one to control the process as much as possible. This is the very reason I came out to 11 family members all on the same day...so I could control the process and made sure they each heard it from me personally and not through the grapevine. It was important to me that I be the one to tell them...it reduces the risk of things being miscommunicated to them too; I know exactly what was said to whom and when by me.
When I came out I knew it would be the death of my marriage, so I wanted to make sure family heard it from me and not my wife who would understandably be rather upset at the time. Now, mind you I don't recommend coming out to 11 people all in the same afternoon; it was the most stressful thing I have ever done and yet the most liberating too.
Great point Wing Walker!
Peace and love,
Izzy
Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on December 26, 2007, 06:55:43 PM
Hey Ericka,
I just came out to my family this past July and know the stress your feeling. I'm glad to hear about your sister being accepting to it, one of my sisters was much like your's...she basically said 'It's about time!' and that she would rather have another sister then a dead brother. It can be great having an ally on your side, not only some to stand beside you when you're coming-out, but someone who's shoulder you can cry on if things don't go all that well.
When I came out I gave each person a copy of 'True Selves' along with a couple of essays/journal entries that I had written myself. For me, since my family is spread across the globe, I came out to my family via a letter. Trying to coordinate the timing of making sure all the packages got delivered on the same day took a bit of work! You can read a copy of my coming-out letter to my father on my blog at http://isabelle-st-pierre.com/?p=26 (http://isabelle-st-pierre.com/?p=26)
All you can do is hope for the best when it comes to coming-out to family, but as I always tell people...plan for the worst! That way you'll be pleasantly surprised when/if things go better then your worst case scenario.
I wish you the best of luck and I'll be thinking about you as the day draws near.
Peace and love,
Izzy
Going by your profile pic Izzy, you look very female which probably helps an awful lot when telling parents or relatives of your plans.......but it may be much harder for those people who are far less convincing in their appearance and mannerisms......
My own experiences of telling my family are mixed.......The problem really being that I was very feminine anyway and always dressed in femine androgenous clothes and had long hair since my early teens......so this made it far less of an impact if any at all and the usual comments were 'I'm not surprised'.....but I think the real problems will start when I get a boob job and then SRS......and no doubt physical body surgery will upset my mother even though my feminine appearance never did...
Quote from: Berliegh on December 27, 2007, 07:20:14 AM
Going by your profile pic Izzy, you look very female which probably helps an awful lot when telling parents or relatives of your plans.......but it may be much harder for those people who are far less convincing in their appearance and mannerisms......
My own experiences of telling my family are mixed.......The problem really being that I was very feminine anyway and always dressed in femine androgenous clothes and had long hair since my early teens......so this made it far less of an impact if any at all and the usual comments were 'I'm not surprised'.....but I think the real problems will start when I get a boob job and then SRS......and no doubt physical body surgery will upset my mother even though my feminine appearance never did...
Hum...
Coming-out to those you love has nothing to do with how you look...well...it shouldn't at least. Yes, I do look very feminine and to some degree of things this has helped in that I haven't had some of the problems other have had...but...there are still plenty of problems for anyone who is transgender regardless of how they look. I too had to come-out to my family, friends and employer...I too had mixed results when I came out, maybe not as much as others, but I still lost relationships due to me being me...regardless of how someone looks we are a community and we all face similar problems...at least that is how I feel about things...
Peace and love,
Izzy
Posted on: December 27, 2007, 01:57:20 PM
Quote from: Renate on December 27, 2007, 07:40:52 AM
Hi Ericka;
Not a booklet, but a book for them to read after your coming out is:
True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism: For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals (1996) - Mildred L. Brown * Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0787967025) * WorldCat (http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/51437864)
This is generally agreed to be the best introduction for general audiences.
Renate
Thanks Renate, I should have been more specific in my reference to the book...
Peace and love,
Izzy
Given a choice I would rather come out to everyone at once, then do a death by a thousand cuts, telling people one by one. I wish I would have rented a hall and given everyone the same power-point and then left telling them all to discuss it amongst themselves.
That being said, I think that its so case specific, in that every set of parents reacts in different manner, so its hard to give general advice other than tell the truth. Yeah, its always a last resort I know, but in this matter it tends to work out better than all the science and all the explanations, most of which do not explain, but merely excuse.
Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on December 27, 2007, 01:58:50 PM
Hum...
Coming-out to those you love has nothing to do with how you look...well...it shouldn't at least. Yes, I do look very feminine and to some degree of things this has helped in that I haven't had some of the problems other have had...but...there are still plenty of problems for anyone who is transgender regardless of how they look. I too had to come-out to my family, friends and employer...I too had mixed results when I came out, maybe not as much as others, but I still lost relationships due to me being me...regardless of how someone looks we are a community and we all face similar problems...at least that is how I feel about things...
Peace and love,
Izzy
.....yes...but if you look credable as a female it helps......if you looked like a bloke in drag I don't think it would go down so well.......
I do think that it does get easier as one comes out to more people & as time goes by. I am just beginning the coming out process, I told my wife back in 2000 and it has taken us this long to get things worked out and stay together. Now my wife has told most of her side of the family, now they are Filipino and they do accept diversity a lot easier than Americans. Well I am just now beginning to the whole coming out process and thought I should start with family before I come out at work. But the entire process in is very nerve racking.
Ericka
Quote from: Renate on December 27, 2007, 04:21:24 PM
I don't understand this topic, what's the big deal about coming out to parents?
Oh, you mean your own parents. Well, that's different!
I think that coming out is a skill that develops with practice.
When I first came out to my closest friend, I just said that I was taking hormones.
I thought that they could figure it out from there. Nope.
Then, since they had a medical background, I said that I'm taking this E and that anti-A. Nothing.
At that point in time, I didn't know what I was except somebody who wanted HRT and SRS desperately.
Stretching the point, I told them that I was a transsexual.
Nowadays I just skip to the chase and tell people that I'm a transsexual.
But I am very selective in who I tell, just my landlord, my neighbor, all my friends,
my co-workers, a guy at the library...
Renate
LOL,
I cut straight to the chase as they say...heck even my MySpace profile says right on top 'I AM A PRE-OP MTF TRANSSEXUAL'...actually says it in multiple languages too...but that doesn't seem to even phase people...
But I do like your approach...straight to the point!
Quote from: Berliegh on December 27, 2007, 05:14:25 PM.....yes...but if you look credible as a female it helps......if you looked like a bloke in drag I don't think it would go down so well.......
Like I mentioned before, coming-out isn't really about how you look...it's about how you feel inside and explaining that to the people you love or are in your life in one way or another.
Also when it comes to family...they don't think about how you look...they just think about the memories they had of you when you where young, still living in home...that first date...etc. Heck both of my parents have mentioned that it might be a
good idea to go back to being my male self...um...mom...dad...didn't you look at the pictures I sent you???? Oh, ya...I guess your right. It doesn't matter what you look like...they will be basing their thoughts of how they remember you...not necessarily how you look today....
OK, perhaps it's because it's just coming from me and you are having a hard time getting past the picture of me...but I can't stress enough that coming-out isn't about looks...it's about how you feel inside of your own skin...that is all that matters...
Peace and love,
Izzy
Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on December 27, 2007, 06:34:03 PM
OK, perhaps it's because it's just coming from me and you are having a hard time getting past the picture of me...but I can't stress enough that coming-out isn't about looks...it's about how you feel inside of your own skin...that is all that matters...
Peace and love,
Izzy
...my goodness....talk about self flattery......
My previous conversation wasn't about me......It was a generalisation...
Quote from: Berliegh on December 27, 2007, 07:08:57 PM
...my goodness....talk about self flattery......
My previous conversation wasn't about me......It was a generalisation...
Sorry...I must have just took it wrong.
Peace and love,
Izzy
Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on December 27, 2007, 07:23:09 PM
Quote from: Berliegh on December 27, 2007, 07:08:57 PM
...my goodness....talk about self flattery......
My previous conversation wasn't about me......It was a generalisation...
Sorry...I must have just took it wrong.
Peace and love,
Izzy
yes you definitely did..... >:(
...But it must be nice for you to be over confident with the way you look.........but your probably right....... and I think I do need a bit of work doing still....but I don't think I look like a bloke!
Quote from: Berliegh on December 27, 2007, 07:25:35 PM
yes you definitely did..... >:(
...But it must be nice for you to be over confident with the way you look.........but your probably right....... and I think I do need a bit of work doing still.... ;)
Oh goodness...I still obsess over passing at times...I go through days where I feel like...everyone is looking at me...they all know....and similar paranoid episodes...
By the way, your new profile picture does you a much better justice then the old one did. You look great.
Peace and love,
Izzy
Quote from: Isabelle St-Pierre on December 27, 2007, 07:37:57 PM
Quote from: Berliegh on December 27, 2007, 07:25:35 PM
yes you definitely did..... >:(
...But it must be nice for you to be over confident with the way you look.........but your probably right....... and I think I do need a bit of work doing still.... ;)
Oh goodness...I still obsess over passing at times...I go through days where I feel like...everyone is looking at me...they all know....and similar paranoid episodes...
By the way, your new profile picture does you a much better justice then the old one did. You look great.
Peace and love,
Izzy
That's funny......my NEW profile pic is in fact my old profile pic from 2005........and my old profile pic was in fact a new pic from 2007...
So it looks like I'm getting worse..... ;)
Quote from: Berliegh on December 27, 2007, 05:14:25 PM.....yes...but if you look credable as a female it helps......if you looked like a bloke in drag I don't think it would go down so well.......
I agree with that. My own family, despite being conservative, might choose to try and accept me because I'm their child. But with the in-law side and others who happen to be very "concrete" peopl e (i.e., What They See Is All That Is Real) and not very intuitive or flexy, if they already think of you as male and your appearance and behavior is not stereotypically female (i.e., matches their definition of what a woman should be), then it really is like fighting an uphill battle and undermines the inner experience you are trying to relay to them.
Appearance helps with credibility, with some people.
btw, Isabelle, you wrote a very lovely Coming Out letter. Just so very awesome. I hope people responded positively to it.
Quote from: Jennywocky on December 31, 2007, 10:24:09 AM
Quote from: Berliegh on December 27, 2007, 05:14:25 PM.....yes...but if you look credable as a female it helps......if you looked like a bloke in drag I don't think it would go down so well.......
I agree with that. My own family, despite being conservative, might choose to try and accept me because I'm their child. But with the in-law side and others who happen to be very "concrete" peopl e (i.e., What They See Is All That Is Real) and not very intuitive or flexy, if they already think of you as male and your appearance and behavior is not stereotypically female (i.e., matches their definition of what a woman should be), then it really is like fighting an uphill battle and undermines the inner experience you are trying to relay to them.
Appearance helps with credibility, with some people.
btw, Isabelle, you wrote a very lovely Coming Out letter. Just so very awesome. I hope people responded positively to it.
Hey,
First, I'm glad you liked my coming-out letter. Funny, my father didn't really appreciate it, but I guess it's all just a matter of perspective.
OK, I give in. I can see where how one's appearances can have an impact on one's coming out to people, especially their folks. My point was that is really shouldn't be about how one looks; it's really about telling people how you feel on the inside and explaining what you are planning on doing (or have already done) to help you feel comfortable within your own skin. Some people come-out before they even do anything and are in a sense hoping for help/support in their journey; others come-out once they have started the process of changing; others go to such extremes as moving away, completely transforming themselves and just moving forward in their new lives, some may come-out to their folks, others choose not to.
There is no right or wrong way to come-out to one's family, only different. What is the right path for one person can lean another to complete failure. Everyone has to evaluate their own unique situation and decide what is the best path for themselves. Others may give advice and council, but ultimately the decision is your own.
I won't sugar coat things, coming-out is hard; it will most likely be
one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. It is also
one of the most liberating things you will ever do. It frees you from having to feel like you need to constantly hide your true self from those around you and that is an amazing feeling.
There is and always will be the chance that some people in your life will never be able to accept you for you; you have some very difficult decisions to make. I too have lost some people along the way; but at the same time I have picked up a lot of new friends who accept me for who I am. I could have chosen to not move forward with transitioning or being honest with myself to please those around me, but at the same time I would have slowly died inside, become bitter with the world, and all those negative things that go along with denial. The only true path in life is to be true to yourself...
Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre
Well I came out to my parents; it went very well. My mom didn't have much to say and was very willing to talk about me being trans, my Dad on the other hand once we finished discussing the issue every time that I attempted to bring it up again he didn't want to talk about it again. There were a few things that he said that really touched my heart.
I told him that I would be changing my name and if he wanted me to change my last name so it wouldn't reflect negatively on the family I would. (See my Dad adopted my when he married my Mother.) He said that he gave me his name and at the time that was all he could have given me, well to say the least that is when I lost it I cried like a baby. The next thing that he said was that no one in the family will ever say anything derogatory to or about me. If they do he will deal with them. My dad is about the biggest red neck anyone has ever meet and I know that if one of my 3 sisters or 3 brothers does disobey him in this matter, well I feel sorry for them, and he also means any of the in-laws as well.
But the trip over all was a great success and turned out so much better than I thought it would before going down there.
:eusa_dance:
My own experience with coming-out was mixed, especially when it came to my parents.
First, neither of them believed I had reasons to transition. I was just a 'regular guy'. My father especially challenged me on any idea of feminity I might have had. My mother didn't challenge me, but in her mind, thought it was not something concrete, like, I wouldn't transition in her mind. I came to my mother in April 2005, my father in May 2005, separate occasions, since they're divorced.
I moved out the day I told my father (it was already planned, partly because of that).
I told my brother in December 2005, he was pretty supportive, whatever happened. Anything but having me die. He got surprised by my going full-time, like it 'hit him', but he was still supportive.
My mother was with a boyfriend who knew about me (from meeting me times before, he figured it out, I was almost blatantly telling without telling), he really didn't approve of my transition. This affected my mother's opinion, when I went full-time she got shocked and didn't even want us to see each other anymore. I got her an ultimatum; you either see me and we talk, or you never see me again. I was hurt. So we met, and talked...she got more supportive, slightly, though still thinking she'd rather not be with me in public (that was in April 2006).
In May 2006, I convinced her, both by circumstances, and talking, that this was the way it was doing to be (as a girl, no compromise), and to have me stay with her again. She got a lot more supportive over time...but it took a while.
My father, not being with me since May 2005, took a while longer to accept me as a girl...he more or less sees me as his daughter now.
My three brothers were the first to see me as who I was.
I didn't gauge reactions from friends as deeply, but most were supportive.
----------
And note that, however feminine you might have been as a child, parents can think it's just normal boy behavior anyway. I was shy, pacifist (never fought) and the complete opposite of my roughousing brother (who's just 2 years younger than me), I got bullied, and he would beat the bullies...so yeah to convince my parents I was a girl then, I'd needed to have the clothes and act really really intentionally like a stereotype...when I was a kid. It took a while for them to get past that and let reality hit them in the face...especially when I went full-time. and following months.
I've told my parents and tried to explain thing to them as best I could, but they still don't understand. They sent me a letter recently saying I need therapy (like duh I go every month) to figure out my "mental problems". What they don't realize is that I am overcoming a physical problem and it is my brain that is in the right place. Not to mention the fact that Im actually happy for the first time in my life.
They called around Christmas and asked if I was coming home. To which I replied "I don't think that it would be a good idea". After which I'm sure they breathed a sigh of relief. My relatives would tear me apart. Mentally and maybe physically too. They are not very open minded and I figure it will be best to avoid the situation indefinetely. I really don't see the point of putting myself in that environment.
My brothers and sisters (6 not including me) don't really have a problem with it, as far as I can tell anyway.
I'll probably go back home this summer though to visit friends (I live about 3 hours away) and to tie up loose ends. It's been a year and a half since they have seen me last and they are probably going to freak. I can't really say for sure if they'll ever come around or not, and I am not holding my breath.
Audrey
Thats what I really can't stand. The fact that I wouldn't have had to deal with relatives before cause they thought we were both still immature children (I has brother). They practically ignored us, and generally acted like jerks, until now, when they choose the worst possible moment to make friends and do the right thing and relate and everything...
They're all getting older and sicker, which sickens me cause it makes me almost wish I could skip over all of them, but its too evil, so no. I kinda just want to avoid them all...
I'm probably getting hormones really soon, cause I'm sick of it all, and waiting especially. I just want it to synch up right with my new crazy art schedule. I want to be in art school working like crazy away from home ideally, and already a bit transitioned when I go there so I never again have to have that awkward moment months after meeting people. I'd think that the bodily changes would lessen the surprise...
But yeah. My mom already knows... Its just my Dads situation and my brothers situation. His reputation would probably plummet cause his friends seem generally shallow and stuff... So once again doing what my life needs is selfish once again. ???
...
Sounds like you had some success though Schala
And good job Erika... I'm surprised your dad accepted you to that extent. That was lucky.
May God Bless you all. I wasn't that lucky, family didn't accept me. So that's done and behind me. I am not a young spring chick anymore, and I am not going to waste what valuable years I have ahead of me chasing people around who would prefer to think I no longer exist.
I had a good bunch of friends I made in the small town where I was living whom I left behind to move here in BC. I think I suffered from culture shock during the first few months we moved here. I have only just recently been going out with Wing Walker feeling out the vibes of the new people I encounter.
Cindy
oh yeah devious you reminded me.
When I came out to my parents, my dad was like "what your doing is the height of egotism. You don't care about anyone but your self, or how this will affect your relationship with your us (family)."
Well seriously who's being selfish here?
Audrey
Out of both of my parents the one that I was scared of telling was my Dad. He raised us very strict and often disciplined us very harshly. Now when I came out to him he just said that I had earned the right as an adult to make my own choose, now he did say that if I did had surgery I would be killing part of myself & I do agree with him to a point. My question to him was and what part of me would get to live & I think that that part of me getting to live is more important than to continue to live in hell & to allow the old me to continue to live.
My Mom's concern is with the red necks that we know, plus the red necks in my own family; y'all see I am originally from the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Now I live in Northern Virginia I'm not around that many red necks.
Now I told one of my Sisters and she is the only one's opinion that I do care about & out of my 3 brothers only one came to see me while I was down there. I didn't tell him anything about me but all he had to do is to see me and he knew something was up. As for the reset of them they can kiss my a$$.
I am soooooooooooo
soooooo
I repeat.
SOOOO... Happy I don't live anywhere NEAR the South.
The waffles have no power over me anymore, I can't even eat them... So Eat it South!
If I were down there I'd probably already be DEAD.
Quote from: Audrey on January 24, 2008, 10:18:10 AM
oh yeah devious you reminded me.
When I came out to my parents, my dad was like "what your doing is the height of egotism. You don't care about anyone but your self, or how this will affect your relationship with your us (family)."
Well seriously who's being selfish here?
Audrey
Yeah... The "Selfish" motive thing sucks. Maybe they shouldn't care in the first place! Geeze... I'm so sick of the human race. Why should I change my dreams to conform to their preprogrammed nonsense?
*Sigh But I do care about my family. Which sucks.
Ericka,
I had to have a chat with my mother after my brother decided to out me to much of the known universe. I learned about this when I received a letter from my Goddaughter begging & pleading with me to not transition. This was just one of 4 major crisis that occured last summer. Add to this that I had JUST started HRT... Well... It was not a good summer.
What I did was send my family a letter explaining in analogies why I have to transition. To be honest, I didn't have the emotional energy to meet face-to-face and explain what and why.
I would be happy to send the letter if you want. It's a little too long to post here.
Chaunte
Addendum- I posted my coming out letter in my blog here at Susans. The link is below - C
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,25814.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,25814.html)