Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Zquence on November 26, 2017, 03:45:12 AM

Title: When is it appropriate to come out?
Post by: Zquence on November 26, 2017, 03:45:12 AM
So I am mtf I don't dress different act different or anything I am always just a little of because I don't know how to just be myself. I would like to come out because I pride myself on being honest and it feels like Im living a lie but I don't know if it is the best thing or how aporiate it would be. How should I move forward with this train of thought?

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Title: Re: When is it appropriate to come out?
Post by: Megan. on November 26, 2017, 04:13:21 AM
The annoyingly vague answer is that it depends!

A few questions to ask yourself though...
Do you have legal protection where you live? If you work would your job be safe? Are you financially dependant on someone and would they still support you? Would you be physically safe where you live?

For me,  the positive mental benefits of finally being open and authentic out in the world have outweighed what it's cost me.

If you do choose to, all I'll suggest is hope for the best but plan for the worst,  then you'll be fine. X

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Title: Re: When is it appropriate to come out?
Post by: Zquence on November 26, 2017, 06:58:23 AM
Quote from: Megan. on November 26, 2017, 04:13:21 AM
The annoyingly vague answer is that it depends!

A few questions to ask yourself though...
Do you have legal protection where you live? If you work would your job be safe? Are you financially dependant on someone and would they still support you? Would you be physically safe where you live?

For me,  the positive mental benefits of finally being open and authentic out in the world have outweighed what it's cost me.

If you do choose to, all I'll suggest is hope for the best but plan for the worst,  then you'll be fine. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Do you have legal protection where you live? Not sure need to double check
If you work would your job be safe?
Yes most of all because the managers don't like to work night shift
Are you financially dependant on someone and would they still support you?
Sorta but not really I am homeless and crashing on a friends couch as of yesterday bought a car to sleep in before they offered support
Would you be physically safe where you live? Yes compared to the ghetto of Houston out here in new Mexico it is safe.

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Title: Re: When is it appropriate to come out?
Post by: Bari Jo on November 26, 2017, 09:05:33 AM
Zquence, none of what you are describing sounds ideal.  If any one of them broke down, you would have tremendous hardship.  So the question to me is how great is your need to be authentic?  Can you take steps in that direction without coming out?  Maybe attending group, therapist, or even getting on hrt without transitioning socially?  In your position, I would wait personally, but it is your decision.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: When is it appropriate to come out?
Post by: Jailyn on November 26, 2017, 07:32:35 PM
I agree it just depends on your circumstances and where you are at in life. If you feel you are in a good place in life then do it. We have a very diverse group here that come out in different places, different times, so really there is no straightforward answer. This goes right along with the question how to come out to people and we all do it differently. So all these things are really dependent on you and what you feel is right.