Im curious how long it took for you to come up with an alternative name that you felt was right?
Ive got a list now of around 20 girls names that i feel are ok, 3 or 4 more so than the others but im drawn to unisex names atm more specifically Jamie. I guess its reflective of where im at in my identity atm and its close to my male name. It denotes a change that i now dont identify asmy given name but still reflects that im confused about me. Found it easier to name my children that myself.
If you ended up taking the route of mtf could you be taken seriously with a unisex name? Does that show your not committed?
I would only take on a name that you are committed to. It's okay go try one on here, and people will reply to it, and use it. If you start to like and identify with it, only then would I take the name on. If you are sure of the me, then it's easier, imo. I was sure of mine. It's what my parents meant for me anyway before the pesky boy genes came to play. I had already been using it in my head for decades before accepting myself.
Good luck, try some names on for size.
Bari Jo
Lots of us choose names that are related to or derived from our old names. Some members here have female names that differ from their male names only in spelling, not in pronunciation. That doesn't make them any less valid. Your name is whatever you choose it to be.
You won't be getting a knock on the door in the middle of the night from the name police. Committment is shown by transitioning socially. They will look for that when it comes time for surgery, if that's what you choose, but they aren't going to check for approved names.
I wanted a name that provided continuity with my old name. My old names were Keith Lawrence. There isn't a feminine version of Keith (Well technically there is, but it's hideous!), so Kathy was the next best thing. And Lauren is obvious. My initials are the same, and my new signature is almost identical to my old one. And both names are age-appropriate for my generation.
I think I had decided on my name before I decided to transition, and even before I knew I was trans. I tried it out here for quite a few months before committing to it, to the frustration of my wife, who had all sorts of alternative suggestions, none of which resonated with me.
I don't think it denotes that you are not committed to being your full self. My boys all have unisex names, that doesn't mean I want them to be girls or anything in the future. I think if you love the unisex names then go for them. For myself it took me about a month or so of looking to find a name I liked and fit my criteria. Each of us has a different process for naming ourselves. I don't think there is a right or wrong way about it. My criteria was I wanted it close to my male name, a name that was uncommon, and fairly feminine. I didn't want a unisex and turns out it is but, I still like it. There have been a couple of catfish the tv show that had my name for guys on it. I was a little bummed. As you said in your title you have to find a name that rings true to you not anyone else. Good luck and find a good one for you!!!!!
Like Kathy I wanted to keep my initials LJW I had been using Jeanette so I shifted it to the middle and had to find a first name. I thought of Laura but a couple friends said no and one suggested Laurie and I liked it. One a side note both Laura and Jeanette were high school girls I had crushes on and dated briefly. So you might look at my name as tributes to them. Laurie Jeanette Wxxxxx it will be if I have it changed someday.
A friend of mine named me Devlyn when she didn't like the name I was using. You might want to ask someone who has known you for some time.
My name was Michael, and I wanted something different, not just the subtle switch to Michelle. I changed everything, first, middle, and last names.
Hugs, Devlyn
My boy name was Julian so my mom suggested Julia. It was easier for people to start calling me Julia than an entirely new name. My dad picked Tiffany as my middle name. I'm not real wild about Tiffany but it's fine as a middle name.
My path to a name feels weird and simplistic. When I was a kid, I always said the name "Jennifer" in my head during night time fantasy worlds. Fast forward 8 years, and my sister is born and given a name just a litttttttttle too close. So that was out. Over time I had some other random names in my head, but none really stuck. Then one night, I tried the name Elle then Ellie. I liked it. Thought it was cute, though it had no greater significance and I don't know where it came from (which is kind of weird since I've now met about 10 other girls using the same name here, most of whom are my age, meaning there has to be some correlation, somewhere...). I'm still not entirely sure if its right and final, but I like it.
Quote from: Roll on November 26, 2017, 08:20:21 PM
My path to a name feels weird and simplistic. When I was a kid, I always said the name "Jennifer" in my head during night time fantasy worlds. Fast forward 8 years, and my sister is born and given a name just a litttttttttle too close. So that was out. Over time I had some other random names in my head, but none really stuck. Then one night, I tried the name Elle then Ellie. I liked it. Thought it was cute, though it had no greater significance and I don't know where it came from (which is kind of weird since I've now met about 10 other girls using the same name here, most of whom are my age, meaning there has to be some correlation, somewhere...). I'm still not entirely sure if its right and final, but I like it.
Ellie is a cute name. It suits you.
For me it took a year or two. I tried Seth for a while, but that didn't feel right. Then one day, I ->-bleeped-<- you not, I read a unique name that stuck with me in an old Greek or Roman poem (Man, I wish I could find it again....). About six months later I started playing a brand new game and the same name came up, to which I immediately turned around and replied when I heard the name as if it were natural even though it was the character introducing themselves.
Ever since then it just stuck and I never had any doubts about my true name again.
I knew Sheila was my true name for awhile but my family does not know it. All will be revealed to them in time. My male is Chris...always felt disconnected with it.
My name is not randomly thought up or taken from an outside source in case people were wondering. Why wasn't it Chrissy, Christine, or Christina? I don't relate to those names by means that i had dreams that my true name was Sheila as a sort of divine revelation or epiphany of sorts. Sheila means heavenly after all and i feel strongly connected to it as defining who i am. It's a beautiful name too in my opinion...and it has the word "she" in it. :D
I picked Tony. It feels like it is me. My son's name is Anthon. Makes us connected in family too.
As a kid I called myself Jani. It is a finnish name. But I grew out of it.
The more I use Tony, the more I feel it is me. Experiment. Try different names. How do you feel when people call you by your chosen name. That is important. You will hear your name for the rest of your life.
Tony
Chose a business term since I love irony and wordplay
Economic Value Added
"EVA is the net profit less the equity cost of the firm's capital. The idea is that value is created when the return on the firm's economic capital employed exceeds the cost of that capital."
My transition is capital in the form of cost, labor, and time. A positive equity is yielded in the form of happiness, sanity, and comfort. Transition will be profitable. Finally used that business/management degree for something. To bad I absolutely hate being a manager.
Thank you all for the insites x
Anyone else have dreams like i did about their male-to-female self or vice versa? It probably sounds like i'm making it up or exaggerating but i really did have dreams... :o
Dont really remember many deams.2bh but remember times where i wish i woke up as a girl in the morning. I remember going through pubity and when lying in bed at night feeling my skin tingle - in reality this would have been hair coming through the skin but always thought i better goto sleep fast as that area.is.changing into a girl !
I think a unisex name is actually a good option. It can help when you're in the in-between phase of passing and not passing, or if you're just not presenting one day. It's pressuring to be in a waiting room for example, and not yet pass, but have your name called and it be a particularly feminine or masculine name not fitting your presentation that day.
My birth name was actually unisex and a lot of people ask me why it is I didn't stick with it because it would have been a lot easier. Easier in the sense in the beginning people would see my new name - which is obviously masculine - and assume I was fetching a prescription for someone else. I even had some neighbour redirect my mail, as they were totally incredulous that could be me in the name. It was easier in the beginning before I changed my name, that was for sure. But I wanted a clean break from the old life. I did still want some form of personal connection to a family name though, so I went with the masculine form alternate name I would have had as a child, which I happen to like (luckily).
Definitely pick a name you won't mind hearing hereafter. I'd say go with one you like over one you might be attached to if you want a clean break. Some people want to keep their names as close as possible though. If you like that, go for it. It took a while for me to settle on a name that would work for various reasons, I did think about the implications of a very masculine name compared to my own, but came down in the end to: if I'm going to go through the hassle of changing my name, I want it to be fairly different from what I'm used to, and I might as well go all out. Perhaps I was a bit tired of having a unisex name and felt like the change would be invigorating.
I hadn't thought deeply about the name change before the first GIC appointment... it was only this year I thought about changing it and finally settled on one. It had been stewing about 2 years but I decided during this last year. All the paperwork was done earlier this year. I got the feeling the GIC was waiting on me changing it after I said I would, and I didn't want this potentially delaying my treatment at all, so I got it sorted.
Funniest thing I heard about the new one: "isn't Victor a bad guy/villain's name?"
Well yeah, it often is in movies and books, but it's out of my hands because I'd have been called that anyway if I'd come out right. Blame my grandmother. She picked it.
I was Charles Edward. I didn't like Charlene (that's my aunt's name) or Charlotte. I tried Sharla online years ago but that was not right. I finally settled on Carly. Edward was tougher. It does not feminize. I finally settled on Emelinda, partly because it is somewhat close to Edward and lets me keep my initials, and partly because it is an old traditional Filipino name. (My wife is Filipino). It also shortens to Mindy, the name of a girl I had a crush on in high school.
So there you have it. That's who I am.
My birth certificate says "Matthew." I experimented with various names that start with "M" for quite a while, since I was a kid. Martha, Mary, Marie, Mia, and most recently, Martina. None of them really seemed to fit. Then one day about six months ago I had an epiphany. For years my friends and coworkers have been calling me Mattie and I like that. I didn't think there is a feminine form of Matthew but there is, though it's not too common. Matthea. I don't have to alter my signature by much and when I'm ready to come full out and people ask what to call me, I can say, "just keep calling me Mattie," and I can go by Thea when I feel like it.
Heyo,
I found it really easy to find my name. I went from one 'A' name to another, so it was a simple switch. People still screw it up sometimes but I have only been using it for two months.
Avery was a name I thought about giving myself as a kid because I really hated my name. It's unisex and is helpful since I don't pass yet. Whatever you feel suits you is what you should use. But know that experimenting is important! Try out a few with some friends and get a good feel for them.
-aves
FtM here
I personally made a list of names and picked one after a long time of reflection.
Shorten the list as much as possible, ask the people in your life how they feel about it, say it to yourself in your head. Narrate your life with a different name every so often, that is also something I did.
"Jenny picked up the phone"
"Jamie Picked up the phone"
See what you feel most comfortable with
Ask the people of Susan's if you really can't choose between a few. They come out with some interesting thoughts. That's what I did, it really helped.
Good luck!
I feel like I wimped out, but as a boy, I always hated Randy and tried to change to a more masculine name when I went to college (it didn't stick). I thought Randy was too girly. Well, now it seems like a perfectly good name to me! Most females would spell it differently and I've never made up my mind about that. For now, I'll stick with it.
Randy
As a child I always hated the name Bobby it seemed too feminine I needed an e-mail and a name to join Susans place so I went with bobbi and then thought it was not feminine enough so I went with bobbisue so when I change my name and gender it will be Roberta Susan this may be sooner than planned as my picture is in my hometown paper
bobbisue :)
Like BobbiSue and Randy, I made people stop calling me "Stevie" when I was younger. It was too feminine, and I had to hide that. And now it's just a little too close to "Steve," which I went by most of my life (full name "Stephen"). So instead of going back to Stevie, I'm using Steph, short for Stephanie.
I suppose I wouldn't object if someone wanted to call me Stevie now, especially with the connection to the indisputably feminine Stevie Nicks, but it's not first choice. A dear friend has taken to calling me "Stephie," which is a little silly sounding, but as a term of endearment it gives me warm fuzzies.
Steph
I would say choose a name, you are comfortable with and you like sounding like a good name. For me Jessica was the name i like to Call myself now. I like the name alot.
Im going to try out a name for awhile then compare it agaist a few over time. Thanks everyone
Quote from: Shambles on November 26, 2017, 04:44:34 PM
Im curious how long it took for you to come up with an alternative name that you felt was right?
Ive got a list now of around 20 girls names that i feel are ok, 3 or 4 more so than the others but im drawn to unisex names atm more specifically Jamie. I guess its reflective of where im at in my identity atm and its close to my male name. It denotes a change that i now dont identify asmy given name but still reflects that im confused about me. Found it easier to name my children that myself.
If you ended up taking the route of mtf could you be taken seriously with a unisex name? Does that show your not committed?
It's an odd thing to name oneself. Finding your true name may be difficult if you put too much emphasis on "true". Recalling your kids, you didn't give them a name that matched their souls. You didn't even know them at the time. You picked something that sounded nice so you would have something to call them as they slept, fed and pooped for several months. Eventually their names seemed to fit. Thus will it also be with you.
As for an androgynous name, think about how many name started masculine and ended up feminine: Ashley, Lindsay, Leslie, Gene, Jo(e), Morgan, Tristan, Cary, Allison, Madison, Dakota, Mackenzie, just to name a few. There is a grand conspiracy to keep all men Al, Tom, Bob and Mike. Most anything can work for a woman, but perhaps you want something that drives your femininity rather than feeds off of it?
I took an androgynous name and it served me well, although I took the feminine spelling from the beginning. Still, on the phone particularly, I could say, "This is Renae" and no one would hesitate regardless of what they thought of my voice (which I am only now developing). That can be nice, but if you go that route, you're going to have to accept a lot of "sirs" too. Had I chosen something overtly feminine at first, those same phone calls would all have been awkward, but the pronouns might have fallen into place more quickly. Perhaps.
Don't be in too big of a hurry to name yourself. You'll always end up thinking of a perfect name later, which I suppose is just human nature. Valerie is the one I wish I had given further consideration, if only because it sounds a little better with my last name and still is somewhat androgynous, though mostly feminine.
As for your commitment, if you decide to stand before a judge and change your name legally, I'd say you're committed enough, regardless of what name you pick.
I'd been using Sarah as a name for video game characters for years, and never knew why. When I finally decided to transition, it just felt right to use it. It's not the same initial (shifted from R to S), but I couldn't find any R names that felt right.
I did stew over a new middle name for about 5 months now. I had originally decided on Anne, but then I realized that was one of my sister's middle names. After coming up with around 15 names or so, I finally found the middle name I want - Dawn. That will actually keep my current middle initial, too.
I took like... maybe 20 minutes to come up with Tamika. I used the name Tamika in a few games after I heard it on Welcome to Nightvale, and when the gender question started raising itself to me, I used it because it was there, and phonetically related to my birth name, and I needed something for this forum. When I got serious about transitioning, I kept it, because at that point it felt like my name. Still does!
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Kelly is used for both males and females. Its ny name. Nothing changes. :)