Sorry for the late revelation, but it dawned on me that yestarday, one year ago I was admitted to the hopsital. I was in the mists of a bad time. At odds with myself, confused, lost and feeling lonely. I was in a tug o war of knwoing I should be female, but having those moments cut off at an instant from my own mind plauged with shame, guilt, doubt, denial and anxeity about everything. I nearly 20 months ago i had a mental break down that lastest largely over a year. Most of 2016 was a gong show. As you all know I was anxious, was self harming, suicidal, so mentally torn I couldnt hold down a job for most of the year and was placed in a psych hospital more then once last year. My best friend was the bottle as it was the only thing that could take my issues and sorrows away.
Fast forward today, I am basically a brand new woman!!!!! I have moved out of Ontario, got into support groups, met new and amazing friends who get me and cherish me as I do them. got a new job that is unionized and gives me decent enough hours to boot. I love the girl I see in the mirror because that is who I am! I am also pursueing career choices with a career counsellor this week at some point to see if College or going through with an apprenticeship will be the best way to move forth in career course, and, in the porcess of getting the GRS under the belt. Still far away, maybe by summer if lucky I will have that done. I still need to finish facial laser removal but I got the means and the funds to do so.
I decided to post happy news to get people to reailize that this girl, who was beyond a train wreck on year ago, and to show people that I been there and done that, and it sucks. But give yourself love, chance and credit and , in time, good things will happen <3. 2016 was my implusion, 2017 was my recovery and dog gone it, 2018 will just be my year to own!
Sorry I havent been on much these days, I still remember who was there for me and who helped me when I need it the most, be it a listening ear or even some tough love when needed, this site helped me out so much.
Love xoxox
Keep being gorgeous hon, we've got your back
(Hugs)
Rowan
I'm glad your here. Everyone's story is worth hearing. We are here to care for each other. I hope 2018 will be your year!
Jess
I remember you being tormented by a terrible internal conflict. I am glad that is now in your past. There is a very bright future for you and it sounds like you are ready to welcome it into your life. Congratulations on your progress.
Jayne
Sailor!!!
So great to feel all the positive energy pouring out of your words... congrats on claiming victories after battles hard fought!!!
Let your words stand as example to all who still feel lost... that the light in the distance is a place they can reach as well when you carry hope in your heart!!!...More amazing things await you sister!!! Enjoy every moment...
Onward we go
Ashley 😀
awww I love seeing posts like this! I'm glad you're doing well, I'm happy for you! :)
Sailor, it warms my heart to read this from you. I bet it'll only get better too. Kudos on all this healing.
Bari Jo
Hugs, honey. Such good news! Love to hear about good things coming the way of good people. Karma doesn't' have to be a bitch ( ;
So happy for you ms sailor?
Hugs and kisses from my corner :-)
It is interesting sometimes to look back to see how far we have come. I am glad you are happy now!
I've read a lot of your posts, and seeing you come back from the depths & rise up to where you are now was very inspiring for me, and I'm sure many others here. I was in a pretty bad place a year ago myself, and am often astonished just how different my whole outlook is now.
Keep on going, and I hope you find all the happiness you deserve in 2018 and every year after.
What a lovely post to read, very uplifting, thank you. X
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
I'm so happy for you Sailor. It's great to read such a happy, positive post
Sounds like things will only continue to get better and 2018 will be the year for you
Charlotte x
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on November 27, 2017, 06:30:28 PM
Sorry for the late revelation, but it dawned on me that yestarday, one year ago I was admitted to the hopsital. I was in the mists of a bad time. At odds with myself, confused, lost and feeling lonely. I was in a tug o war of knwoing I should be female, but having those moments cut off at an instant from my own mind plauged with shame, guilt, doubt, denial and anxeity about everything. I nearly 20 months ago i had a mental break down that lastest largely over a year. Most of 2016 was a gong show. As you all know I was anxious, was self harming, suicidal, so mentally torn I couldnt hold down a job for most of the year and was placed in a psych hospital more then once last year. My best friend was the bottle as it was the only thing that could take my issues and sorrows away.
Fast forward today, I am basically a brand new woman!!!!! I have moved out of Ontario, got into support groups, met new and amazing friends who get me and cherish me as I do them. got a new job that is unionized and gives me decent enough hours to boot. I love the girl I see in the mirror because that is who I am! I am also pursueing career choices with a career counsellor this week at some point to see if College or going through with an apprenticeship will be the best way to move forth in career course, and, in the porcess of getting the GRS under the belt. Still far away, maybe by summer if lucky I will have that done. I still need to finish facial laser removal but I got the means and the funds to do so.
I decided to post happy news to get people to reailize that this girl, who was beyond a train wreck on year ago, and to show people that I been there and done that, and it sucks. But give yourself love, chance and credit and , in time, good things will happen <3. 2016 was my implusion, 2017 was my recovery and dog gone it, 2018 will just be my year to own!
Sorry I havent been on much these days, I still remember who was there for me and who helped me when I need it the most, be it a listening ear or even some tough love when needed, this site helped me out so much.
Love xoxox
Nice, to hear. Good that you can goo open to the world and show that you are woman. Hmm, sad to hear 2016 was such a hard year for you((selfharming and stuff). 2017 was also the special year for me. Hope 2018 is becomes Your year.
Sailor Mars, thanks for the update!
Even when you were feeling at your worst, I saw signs of that great inner strength.
I'm glad you found it. Now it's your time to soar!
With love and respect,
Michelle
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thanks everyone <3, i should also mention that within the past few days I scored myself a datefor thursday night!, erm tomorrow. This be the first time since 2012 I have been on a date :O, and indeed if this becomes something, the first time since 2010 I will be in a actual relationship of some type.
Thanks everyone for the kind words and great support. I love you all so much and to the few who said so, I am glad my story is somewhat helpful for some :)
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on November 29, 2017, 10:45:07 AM
Thanks everyone <3, i should also mention that within the past few days I scored myself a datefor thursday night!, erm tomorrow. This be the first time since 2012 I have been on a date :O, and indeed if this becomes something, the first time since 2010 I will be in a actual relationship of some type.
Thanks everyone for the kind words and great support. I love you all so much and to the few who said so, I am glad my story is somewhat helpful for some :)
Wonderful news! Don't put pressure on yourself. Just relax and have a good time.
Thanks sugar plumb. Still good, but sadly my date ditched :/. I can safely rule out transphobia as they too are trans, but I worry about that person. I think their nose is no longer clean on certian things which breaks my heart :(
Quote from: SailorMars1994 on December 02, 2017, 10:41:05 PM
Thanks sugar plumb. Still good, but sadly my date ditched :/. I can safely rule out transphobia as they too are trans, but I worry about that person. I think their nose is no longer clean on certian things which breaks my heart :(
Oh, that sucks! Yeah, people have issues that sometimes have nothing to do with us. As the other Ashley likes to say, onward...
Ashley, I'm so sorry about your date. Hopefully that person is not using.
I am glad to hear your life is going good. I know how hard things were for you. Sometimes it amazes me how everything can seem so dark and then a corner is turned and even something negative can push you to be free of the darkness and find life. Or maybe that's just me, IDK ;)
I remember how insurmountable things feel in the beginning of finding your true self. For me it was last October. Finding the support of others really kept me ok through the process. I'm so happy you have found friends who support you that you can spend actual in person time with. That is so important.
Big hugs girl. ;D
I am glad you are doing well. Too bad about the date. There will be more.
Hi Ashley
Sorry to hear about your date but hey your a dam pretty girl your found another one easy least, you really have come a long way in 12 months, no longer the quite person your full of confidence now. 😊😊
Quoteyour full of confidence now. 😊😊
and Class....lot's of Class.