What would you like to tell the former you? What kind of message you'd like to make across to your previous self? How has your life improved?
These words might help others too, :)!
(Btw, ofc it doesn't have to be strictly gender-related!)
- - -
I don't really know what to say to myself since I'm at a point of my life where I'd need that encouragement from my future self :D!
But I can say this to my kid-self:
You won't believe this but at 13 your new school is going to assume you are a boy. And after that you are going to live out your secret fantasy of being a boy. So - YES - it IS possible!!!
That although life seems to suck atm one day you will be free of the constant feeling of self conscious and wrongness weighing you down. You will get to a point were you feel comfortable within your body. Don't give up just yet; just get through today
Quote from: Elis on December 02, 2017, 03:05:50 PM
That although life seems to suck atm one day you will be free of the constant feeling of self conscious and wrongness weighing you down. You will get to a point were you feel comfortable within your body. Don't give up just yet; just get through today
Damn! You just always put a smile on my face :D! Like your words were meant for me. Hit home again. Thanx!
Come on... Anyone?
I was hoping this to become a long thread!
"Tell somebody now you coward"
Realistically my parents would have likely shipped me off to some sort of religious conversion therapy camp instead of helping. :(
Well words that I would tell myself at 18 is,
Do it as soon as possible as it affects less people in your life and is a little easier,
Don't care what anyone says dont let people belittle you or talk you out of your true self
You can do it don't give up,
Be yourself life will through bumps in your path and you can over come them it may take time but you will
Be your true self
Quote from: natalie.ashlyne on December 12, 2017, 11:55:35 AM
Well words that I would tell myself at 18 is,
Do it as soon as possible as it affects less people in your life and is a little easier,
Don't care what anyone says dont let people belittle you or talk you out of your true self
You can do it don't give up,
Be yourself life will through bumps in your path and you can over come them it may take time but you will
Be your true self
That was beautiful, :D! Thanks!
And now more replies, please!
My favourite and often used line is... "the sky won't fall down".
It took me a looong time to learn that I could be open with people about who I really am, and that the world would continue to spin just fine.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Quote from: Megan. on December 12, 2017, 12:03:36 PM
My favourite and often used line is... "the sky won't fall down".
It took me a looong time to learn that I could be open with people about who I really am, and that the world would continue to spin just fine.
Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Awesome :D!
Your journey seems endless. I know you are confused. You have no idea who you are nor have you had the time to become something because of your depersonolisation. I know its rough, you will fall into a darkness that only you can get yourself out off. You will feel like your dead like life is meaningless. You will fall and rise out of that pit multiple times yet always remember YOU ARE THE INCARNATION OF VICTORY. NOTHING CAN KNOCK YOU OUT. Oh and do yourself a favor and save alot of money. One day you will find yourself and will be ready for the next step and realize you have no money.😓 But don't worry, life is one big illusion, i know your scared but fear is really useless and defected don't worry about the bull->-bleeped-<- around you focus on your path and on all those who remind you of who you are. Then i would smile like itachi smiling at susuke ' Everything is fine, you may not see it just go into the night sky a blazing sun. Life is waiting. You see her standing on the other side of the bridge, a radiant light around her, shes smiling at you; thats you waiting for youself shes inside nocking at the door to your heart. Saying its alright i'm here waiting for you to accept me, dont turn back behind you the bridge has already collapse. You know me so you must fulfill me.
I would say alot more but then i'll get carried away.
Quote from: iamthatiam8 on December 13, 2017, 03:17:58 AM
Your journey seems endless. I know you are confused. You have no idea who you are nor have you had the time to become something because of your depersonolisation. I know its rough, you will fall into a darkness that only you can get yourself out off. You will feel like your dead like life is meaningless. You will fall and rise out of that pit multiple times yet always remember YOU ARE THE INCARNATION OF VICTORY. NOTHING CAN KNOCK YOU OUT. Oh and do yourself a favor and save alot of money. One day you will find yourself and will be ready for the next step and realize you have no money. But don't worry, life is one big illusion, i know your scared but fear is really useless and defected don't worry about the bull->-bleeped-<- around you focus on your path and on all those who remind you of who you are. Then i would smile like itachi smiling at susuke ' Everything is fine, you may not see it just go into the night sky a blazing sun. Life is waiting. You see her standing on the other side of the bridge, a radiant light around her, shes smiling at you; thats you waiting for youself shes inside nocking at the door to your heart. Saying its alright i'm here waiting for you to accept me, dont turn back behind you the bridge has already collapse. You know me so you must fulfill me.
I would say alot more but then i'll get carried away.
Wow, that was pretty AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Just...DO IT".
After telling myself what stocks to buy, what, is that cheating? Okay! I would tell my male self that he is just a shadow of the real me. I would tell myself that I will be a much better person as a woman. I would say that 90 % of your worrying of what will go bad is totally unnecessary. I would say that going through the whole transition was over the top worth it. I would pick surgeons who only specialize in one thing. (I made that mistake with FFS.)
Moni
90% of what you think is worth worrying about isn't when it comes down to it. Especially after T.
Up up up!
Wanna keep this thread alive!!!
More people, please ;)!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 02, 2017, 01:09:40 PM
What would you like to tell the former you? What kind of message you'd like to make across to your previous self? How has your life improved?
These words might help others too, :)!
(Btw, ofc it doesn't have to be strictly gender-related!)
- - -
I don't really know what to say to myself since I'm at a point of my life where I'd need that encouragement from my future self :D!
But I can say this to my kid-self:
You won't believe this but at 13 your new school is going to assume you are a boy. And after that you are going to live out your secret fantasy of being a boy. So - YES - it IS possible!!!
Do it, do it now.. but don't tell mom. Ever. That would be my advise. Oh and.. You make a beautiful tall elegant woman. :)
I'd tell my younger self that no matter what, transition or not, that I'm worthy. Yes, it will take a long time and maybe forever but there is a point to life. Even when it seems too burdensome to live..
Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk
The feelings are real. This is the real you.
Do it.
Save yourself a lot of grief: do it sooner rather than later.
But even if you wait until you are in your sixties, transitioning still will be worth it.
Hang in there.
Quote from: KathyLauren on January 09, 2018, 08:42:01 AM
The feelings are real. This is the real you.
Do it.
Save yourself a lot of grief: do it sooner rather than later.
But even if you wait until you are in your sixties, transitioning still will be worth it.
Hang in there.
Needed to hear this today :laugh:!!! Thanks!
How did I miss this thread before?
I'd tell my 10-12 year old self to be brave and tell people what is in my heart.
I'd tell my 25 year old self to be brave and put on some pants for christ's sake.
(... Okay, so. I typed that. Then it hit me... I'm not wearing pants at 3 in the afternoon. Somethings I suppose are just a pipe dream.)
I woild go back 12 hours.... dont take them bloody laxitives to see if that will help with your back pain...
Quote from: PurpleWolf on December 02, 2017, 01:09:40 PM
What would you like to tell the former you? What kind of message you'd like to make across to your previous self? How has your life improved?
This is tough for me. Extremely tough. Because in a lot of ways, if I were thinking with my head, I would tell my former self something entirely different to thinking with my heart. So I am very conflicted about this.
But I have to be honest. So if given the chance to meet my former self, perhaps early 20s, or maybe even late teens, I would tell her this:
"Be careful. The people in your life aren't who you think they are. Be careful what you do, and how you do it. Take life at your own pace but watch your back. Especially with family. And stay in at night, or at least carry pepper spray or a tazer.
You're strong. You're strong enough to get through a hell that most people would think too much. Inside you is a lot you don't know you have. But you won't believe me because if you've taken my earlier advice you'll never have to draw on that. If you don't listen then... whatever happens, believe in yourself. And believe that ultimately... it's all worth it. And it isn't your fault. You won't know what I mean by that but just... try to believe that.
You're here for something greater than yourself. You can't see it now, you're too wrapped up in confusion and self hatred, but trust me you are. Your purpose is outside yourself. Once you accept yourself, you'll know what to do with that acceptance. I know I'm being cryptic and I'm sorry, but you have to make the choices we both had.
Just know that... people will sometimes depend on you, and you have to be strong for them. You have to be strong for yourself, and you can be. Whatever happens in life, you won't give up. However dark it gets, you won't quit. Try to remember that there's always something worth living for. Where there's life, there's hope.
And remember that whatever happens, you're not as alone as you feel. You can be yourself. You can acknowledge all the feelings you have, the dreams you have, you will find answers, and you'll know what to do with them.
I believe in you. Believe in yourself."
...it can be done. And it will make everything better.
Quote from: WolfNightV4X1 on January 14, 2018, 01:31:49 AM
...it can be done. And it will make everything better.
I'm loving this thread more & more!
To be honest I am not sufficiently through transition at this point to give myself or anyone a great deal of advice about how to feel or what is going to happen.
I still have my doubts about certain things. Surgery is supposed to be coming up in the next few months and I have no idea how that will go. I do have a cousin who just had theirs but I don't know the details. The surgeon (same one) seems good and the results looked fine from the one or two pics I saw. The scars look like they will be small. But who knows what the situation will be like if he operates on me. Everyone's different, different ages, different skin types, different immune systems. I do know I'm not on any drugs apart from T and heal up quickly as a rule, but I'm also wary of being too optimistic and expecting too much or glancing over potential complications.
It's difficult to encourage myself over it all until I have passed the milestone that is top surgery at least. I don't feel 100% masculine externally until that is dealt with, and because of that I cannot say for sure whether post-surgery will feel as positive as I hope it will. In short, I don't feel that all the bases have been passed and qualify to say "transition is x y and z, stick at it". Because it might actually turn out not to solve some of the problems I hope it will.
I do think you cannot overestimate the effect hormones can have, and how much they can transform your outlook and general life. To imagine transition without T now is impossible. I don't think it would have worked at all, or only half-worked if I had avoided HRT. But the same seems to be true for the top surgery at least. I still feel like the demon lumps MUST be removed before I can get any peace out of this. I don't know why I feel his way, but it seems to be true.
Quote from: Viktor on January 18, 2018, 05:27:31 AM
I do think you cannot overestimate the effect hormones can have, and how much they can transform your outlook and general life.
Haha hoping for this!
Quote from: Viktor on January 18, 2018, 05:27:31 AM
I still feel like the demon lumps MUST be removed before I can get any peace out of this. I don't know why I feel his way, but it seems to be true.
And totally can relate. Don't feel like going anywhere/meeting anyone looking like this. And a little concerned what I'm gonna look like on T plus tumors..... :P Like - no peace until they're gone...! Actually that's why been always hoping I could get rid of them first, so T wasn't even my priority #1 to begin with... And recently just realized haven't been able to do that on my own so... might as well finally go that route I've been avoiding... ::) At least that'll get me to T then. But surgery is still a big question mark... sigh.
15 year old self
Your questioning your gender, dont be ashamed of it, dont let it fester dont get so wrapped up in your LGBT Status and whatever that is, dont try to be someone your not, it will only lead to misery
Dont get so caught up in Family BS, they dont care about you like you care about them.... there not worth it, worry about your mum but live YOUR life, dont live so much for other people, or get caught up in how other family members see you, dont try to be that person just because thats what they see.... stop living in the past, dont fret over the future make it happen NOW
Dont look at Cross Dressing as something to get aroused over it will only be deter you from what eventually is going to happen anyway , just see it for what it is.. you become you
What would i tell my current self?
JUST DO IT.......... tell mum, see a Gender Therapist, and become you
It seems easy to type tho... LOL
Stop letting your fears determine your path in life. You already know how beautiful this big blue ball we all live on is. Be your true self and start living in it, instead of hiding away from it. You used to believe in people, that there was a bright wonderful future for all of us, NEVER LOSE THAT HOPE, because it's true!!!
This is a nice thread.
I'd say something like...
Just keep pushing and keep working at it. People may try to come in between you and your goal, and it may seem really far right now, but the time and effort will all be worth it and things definitely will get better. To just stick with it and not lose hope and never give up.
I feel like this could be applied to so much more in life as well.
*
Be your best self
Be persistent
Think, make plans, be flexible to adjust as you progress
Take one step at a time
Watch for opportunities, take advantage of them
Jump in and do it
Hold only one regret - that you can do better
Forget the people who reject you, attend to the people who support you
Share your successes with others so that they can flourish in your footsteps
Repeat as necessary
*
I would say: "Captain Hindsight knows best".
Quote from: Sharon Anne McC on January 23, 2018, 05:54:47 PM
*
Be your best self
Be persistent
Think, make plans, be flexible to adjust as you progress
Take one step at a time
Watch for opportunities, take advantage of them
Jump in and do it
Hold only one regret - that you can do better
Forget the people who reject you, attend to the people who support you
Share your successes with others so that they can flourish in your footsteps
Repeat as necessary
*
Awesome!!!
Quote from: November Fox on January 24, 2018, 06:36:26 AM
I would say: "Captain Hindsight knows best".
:D!!! So true.
Well, since my teens my life has both gotten worse and better. It's been a rough ride, for sure. Especially during most of my 20's, I was a complete wreck. But into my late 20's I started feeling better and changed my perspective on life. Gender dysphoria is just one of all my issues I've been struggling with, so I knew all along that just transitioning wouldn't make me a happy person. I'd still be somewhere between miserable and fine-ish, just without/with less dysphoria and better self esteem. My transition was also (for the most part) so difficult for me to pwer through that had I known before it, I can't say I wouldn't have opted out of life instead. Even though I think it's been worth it now, I don't think my past self would agree.
The things I've come realise about myself and my past over the last few years, although encouraging to me now, would maybe not have been encouraging for my younger self to hear, but rather quite scary. Cause I have a completely different outlook on life now and value things differently.
But I know that if I did meet my younger self, he wouldn't take "sorry I've got nothing to tell you" for an answer, so to a me of any age between 15 and 19 (disclaimer sorry to bring some of my darkness to this positive thread, but I'm pretty sure my younger self would in some way have appreciated some harsh truth cause everyone back then kept telling me "don't worry, it'll be fine" when it clearly never got "fine" and that only skewed my expectations further. So these words would be empowering and just the right kind of kick back to reality that I did need back then) I'd probably say something like this in terms of my gender issues and transitioning:
"The best things in life never come without a struggle, and change will come after giving up, not before. And you'll give up many times on the way. I know you want for the world to change to your needs, but it's not going to. You only have the power to change your own perspective and learn how to slip through the cracks of the system. Keep practicing that deceitful mask, cause you'll need it, but keep treasuring who you really are underneath it too. Choose your battles and be ruthless when you need to. You're just as strong as you want to believe you are, that means you believe it too. You don't owe anyone your kindness but yourself, especially when people don't show you theirs. And for the love of everything you hold dear, shut up about Anna."
("Anna" is not a real person, but a fragmented part of my personality/my alter (due to childhood trauma, something similar to DID but undiagnosed) and transitioning most likely wouldn't have been possible for me had the doctors/therapists known about it/her.)
You're strong. Way, way stronger than you think you are.
Dream bigger. You can get there.
If you have the choice between people or things, choose people.
Think of something scary to do every week. And do it. But don't beat yourself up if you occasionally forget how brave you are.
Trust yourself. Your gut is usually right.
Ignore people who tell you God wants you to be straight. All love is beautiful.
Your wife is worth waiting for. She'll be unbelievably awesome.
Breathe and do things nice for yourself. It's okay to call for a time out.
Five years from now, what decision will you wish you made today?
The people around you love you more than you know, because you're a better person than you give yourself credit for. They will actually be happy for you when they see your own joy bloom. Their respect will grow as they see you tackle obstacles and make changes in ways they consider courageous.
You are your own worst critic. Don't listen to the terrible things you try to tell yourself. And smiles enhance beauty.
Most of the things you're afraid of are illusory, and almost all of the terrible things you envision happening will not come to pass. You are strong enough to best the few roadblocks you do encounter. Stop being fearful, and follow your dream.
Allow yourself to be. And do it now.
- Stephanie
New awesome replies :D!!! Such as:
Quote from: Kendra on February 06, 2018, 05:23:55 AM
Five years from now, what decision will you wish you made today?
Exactly. That was awesome!
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 07, 2018, 01:29:00 AM
Stop being fearful, and follow your dream.
Allow yourself to be. And do it now.
Quote from: PurpleWolf on February 26, 2018, 11:41:03 AM
New awesome replies :D!!! Such as:
Exactly. That was awesome!
Wolfie! I missed the name change! Congratulations, dude!
Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 26, 2018, 12:01:48 PM
Wolfie! I missed the name change! Congratulations, dude!
Stephanie
Omg thank you so much :D!!!!!
Just updated my profile today, ;)
But it feels -not-allowed-word-here- AWESOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote from: PurpleWolf on February 26, 2018, 12:09:22 PM
Omg thank you so much :D!!!!!
Just updated my profile today, ;)
But it feels -not-allowed-word-here- AWESOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait till you get your drivers license with the new pic and gender marker!
My court hearing was on December 7th of last year. It was my Girl Harbor Day! :D
Stephanie
Quote from: Steph2.0 on February 26, 2018, 12:13:25 PM
Wait till you get your drivers license with the new pic and gender marker!
My court hearing was on December 7th of last year. It was my Girl Harbor Day! :D
That must feel incredibly amazing..... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:!!!
OMG just got my first mail with the new name on it... ;D!
Makes me instantly smile!!!
To my 15 yo. self: "You don't have to pretend to be anyone else but you can be yourself. You don't have to lie all the time. You can change your name, you can change your gender, you can change your presentation. It's okay and normal to be bisexual. Also Hell isn't real and your dad is a bastard."
To my 17 yo. self: "If you already left you don't have to go back. You can make it on your own. You don't have to live by only lying. It's possible to transition socially, physically, medically. You don't need substances to feel something other than dread. You don't have a limited future, your perspective is limited." [Of course, I really wouldn't tell a minor that isn't me to leave home like I did, but well, leaving was good for me and I shouldn't have tried to return.]
I'm pre-everything so I'm not sure how good the advice I'd give myself would be to anyone else but it's still things I wish I knew at the time. I also don't have the perspective of "always knew" like some trans people but I'm not super binary so maybe it's that.