So! As the title implies, I went shopping in public for clothes, and omg! It was so nerve-wracking!! I came out as transgender not even a week ago, and this was so hard for me!! It felt so good, though! I finally got to buy clothes that I want to wear!
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Yays for a big step! It is nerve wracking the first time or two, then it just becomes shopping. ;)
Hugs, Devlyn
That is a lot of progress 😀, congratulations .
congrats!!! the first few times I did it I was with some girlfriends, then the last time I did it I was alone and it wasn't as scary as I thought even though I was presenting as male every time lol. I find it easier to do right now because I can always claim that I'm christmas shopping
Quote from: Maddie86 on December 05, 2017, 07:54:01 PM
congrats!!! the first few times I did it I was with some girlfriends, then the last time I did it I was alone and it wasn't as scary as I thought even though I was presenting as male every time lol. I find it easier to do right now because I can always claim that I'm christmas shopping
Thank you!! I was going to use the Christmas shopping card too, if anyone asked! I was alone this time, but some girlfriends and I are going shopping on Sunday, so that will be fun!
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I love shopping. But you're all right, the first few times are nerve-racking. Trying stuff on is also a big step.
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Good job, the less time you waste thinking about 'what ifs' the better. In person shopping is always better. Adrenaline and nerve tickling is additional bonus. And any possible confrontation makes your skin thicker. Again good job!
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Ya, those early days are super anxiety stormy. I bought a nightgown, and behaved as though I was smuggling state secrets, drugs, and an exotic animal past customs.
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Congrats :-* As everyone else has said it is very nerve wracking the first time :P I've been shopping for clothes I actually want to wear for months now and I still get nervous from time to time, but the feeling I get inside doesn't stop me :)
I have just recently started going out in those clothes, just wait till you start doing that :D It feels about 10 times as nerve wracking the first time but makes you feel 10 times as good as well :)
Just know this though! I was always so nervous to do all this, but I have went shopping for makeup and clothes, and went out as myself multiple times, and throughout all that, i've never had someone come up and say something to me, and never had anyone look at me bad :D MOST people don't care, they will glance... But don't bother to stare, so hopefully that helps make you a little more comfortable with doing it :)
Cool!
It's so hard to remember that in truth, nobody really cares what you buy.. It feels like all eyes are on you walking through that store, but there is nothing unusual about shopping for others! Especially this time of year, but all year really.
Big step in any case, and far better for finding stuff you like than shopping online ;D
Way to go! Going shopping with friends is even better. You'll really like that! My wife and I go shopping together. We are the terror of all the local high-end second-hand stores.
Just enjoy it and have fun!
Quote from: Floof on December 06, 2017, 04:19:43 AM
It's so hard to remember that in truth, nobody really cares what you buy.. It feels like all eyes are on you walking through that store, but there is nothing unusual about shopping for others! Especially this time of year, but all year really.
I've worked retail and this is true. Nobody cares. The only time they care is if you're some problem customer that comes in ranting about something and making a scene. Which I think would be the last thing on most of our minds while clothes shopping. . .
Love shopping. It's way better when my wife tags along.
I was nervous the first few times too but now I love shopping. Maybe too much.
One thing I learned. If you say, "it's for my wife/girlfriend/whatever," the retail associates can tell you're lying and will sometimes feel offended. If you just tell the truth and tell them it's for you, they will usually be glad to be super helpful with sizing and what goes with what and how to achieve the look you want.
I've only ever gotten the "stink-eye" once and I always make a point of smiling pretty and greeting that old biddy whenever I shop in that store. If everyone who worked there had her attitude, I wouldn't shop there but everybody else is so nice.
I work in retail too, not in clothes but in home decor. It's the same all over the retail spectrum though. I won't say I don't care, because I am paid to put myself in my customers' place and to care about them on a personal level. I am there to help the customer get whatever it is they want. I'm never more satisfied with myself and my job performance than when a customer leaves with a big smile on their face.
When I first bought women's clothing, it was a little bit nerve-wracking for me at first as well, since those of us assigned male at birth typically grow up viewing that behavior as taboo. It can take a little bit of desensitization for us to get over this culturally ingrained closed-mindedness.
The first time I bought women's clothes a few years back, I bought them from a store that sold both men's and women's clothes (it was a Forever 21 store with a fitting room area that was used by all customers regardless of gender). I quickly learned that no one cared about what I was trying on and purchasing (fast fashion stores like F21 and H&M are very "hands-off" in terms of associate involvement with customers). Once I had several feminine outfits in my wardrobe, and could therefore start appearing feminine in public, I built up the courage to start shopping in women's only stores along with department stores.
I have since moved beyond fast fashion for my feminine outfits, and have started shopping at more upscale stores in a desire to purchase higher-quality, versatile items that will last for many years to come. These days my favorite stores for women's clothing are probably Nordstrom and White House Black Market. One of my favorite items I have since purchased was a reversible dress from WHBM (https://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/product/Reversible-Sleeveless-Knit-Sheath-Dress/570216908?color=1778) (online link included for illustration purposes only). The patterned side of the dress seems less forgiving on my body type, although it also functions as an LBD with the solid black side facing outwards.
And I've actually come to enjoy shopping at stores with high levels of customer service. I've only been misgendered once (at a women's only store, to my embarrassment... I was more worried about the other customers' reactions than that of the sales associates, although I did kindly correct the SA on my preferred pronouns as it was probably just a slip of the tongue) but it didn't impact the customer service I received or the willingness of the sales associates to serve me. Come to think of it, in the end sales associates just want to make a sale (and possible commission money), so it doesn't make much business sense to discriminate against a transgender customer.
Also, if you're worried about trying on clothes in the store (and don't think you "pass"), at pretty much every women's store I've been to, I've always seen guys waiting around for their significant others and/or female friend(s) in the dressing room area when their SO or friend tries on clothes. If you think your gender assigned at birth is an issue, imagine for a moment that the aforementioned guy were actually interested in the women's clothes at that specific store for some reason. Logically it's not that much more of a step to go from waiting on somebody else trying on clothes to you actually trying on clothes yourself from that point.
Most of the worry about us shopping for women's clothes, at least based on my experience, is pretty much all in our heads.
Well done. First time I did that I asked about sizes since I had no idea it was terrifying. Then I realized no one actually cares. Its all in your head most of the time. Shopping for bras is a bit of a challenge as cup size vs body size at this point is just at the point where not much actually fits but hey, thats all time and patience. The only thing now is I tend to spend waaaaayy too much on clothes when I don't actually need them. Used to hate shopping. Now its actually fun.
Hi Alexis!
Congrats on the brave step forward! One of many amazing steps to come!... I remember my first few shopping ventures quite fondly!!!
Onward we go brave sister!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Totally Awesome! Congrats to you!!
I still cannot bring myself to shop without my wife along. Still, I don't think I want to. It is sooo much more enjoyable when we're together to chat and compare. Our tastes are so similar that we pretty much say oo and awe and blech at the same time ;D