How do I transition socially? Like really, I have no clue how to even begin.
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You managed to delete my reply with that post :o!
Well, nevermind...
Here's the babyname website again:
http://www.babynamewizard.com/
Okay if you feel terrified you can start little by little. Maybe growing your hair out. Buying some nail polish or experimenting with makeup or beuaty products or whatever! Start buying accessories and pieces of clothing you like... And again checking out images of different kinds of women can be very helpful and inspiring! You could be punk, goth, very formal - whatever is your style! You can start by buying a simple pair of socks, ;).
It can be very exciting to let yourself finally explore things! Keep a curious point of view on everything, :D! 'This is exciting!' 'What kind of woman would I like to be?'
So no need to make a complete makeover over night! Just give yourself freedom to explore & buy fancy things you desire to have! If you are terrified of coming out to people, you can start by saying that you are exploring your gender identity. Make it sound something really exciting & cool! Don't make apologies. You do not need to apologize for the person you are.
Maybe start out by wearing a cool scarf around your neck? Something that could be regarded as feminine - a statement kinda - but something that still keeps you somewhat around your comfort level, :D! And go from there!
The first thing you decide to buy/use might feel equally terrifying & exhilarating! And little by little you can expand your comfort zone. And start to see that it's not that terrifying after all!
There are probably as many ways to do it as there are people transitioning.
Social transitioning is basically just starting to live full-time in your new gender role. It implies that you are out to everyone (or alternatively, that you cut all ties to your old life and start to live 'stealth' in your new role). So part of the process is coming out to everyone you know and everyone you interact with. It also involves presenting in your new role, whatever that means for you in terms of clothing and appearance.
For me, it meant coming out in person to several community groups that I am a member of, and coming out by email to others. To avoid offending people, it helps to give some attention to what order you tell people. I came out to the (mostly) women's group first, since I would need them as allies. But before I did that, I talked to the Chief of the Fire Department (I/m a member), since I knew he would find out by gossip if I didn't. You don't want people you need as allies to find out by gossip.
By the time I did all that, I had already been on HRT for several months, and my figure was coming along nicely. I was able to do an overnight transformation simply by switching from a compression bra to a padded bra. I also had a decent wardrobe assembled, and I had been getting electrolysis treatments on my face. I had taken some speech lessons and was starting to get the pitch of my voice higher.
After telling the women's group, I immediately began presenting as female. So when I told the Fire Department several days later, I showed up in girl jeans, a girl T-shirt, and a wig. I got some strange looks and comments, but I had planned it for the monthly meeting, and I had requested time on the agenda to make my announcement, so all became clear fairly quickly.
Working out the logistics of whom to tell when actually occupied a significant amount of time in the weeks prior!
From that day onward, I have presented only as female. I had started using women's washrooms earlier, when I was presenting part-time, but, as of starting full-time, I have used nothing else. Going grocery shopping, taking the car in to get serviced, whatever, I present female. If I have a three-day stubble because I have an upcoming electrolysis appointment, I still present female. Yeah, I'm a girl with stubble, it's part of the deal.
So, in summary, social transition is the process of altering your presentation to the desired role. I kind of glossed over part-time presentation, but that is a big part of social transition: learning your presentation in preparation for full-time.
And there is also the legal / bureaucratic stuff of getting your name and gender marker changed legally and on all your accounts.
I had the help of 2 of my closest friends and my psychotherapist. Social transition isn't too difficult, but it is quite a large grey area. For me, in a nutshell;
First: I let my friends and family in on the whole trans thing.
Second: I informed my social acquaintances, school and work colleagues when changed I changed my legal paperwork
Third: Began living as I believed I should live, as a woman.
Now there were quite a few things in the learning curve within these steps, but those are the basics.
Hi Z
You can proceed however you are comfortable but I too, would recommend that if full transition is your destination of choice.... come out to those closest to you and tell them your intent..work your way towards the next people in line who should know... people at your work etc... start with HR... They can help!
. if you are comfortable presenting en femme in public... do so as much as your life currently allows.... if you are not yet comfortable... start going en femme to places where it is safe to do so... support groups... LGBTQ friendly venues etc and work your way up to everyday places... the store, the bank, the gas station etc!!!
Look ahead and pick a date if you like that will be the date you donate all your old guy to charity and begin living female full time.. perhaps it will coincide with the legal change of name and gender...
This will all need to happen but do things as fast or slow as you like... I opted for full speed ahead!!!! One other vow I made to myself during the process was to make progress every day towards my goal...even small ones like skin care or whatever count... now hat your life is pointed in the right direction, each step forward will take you closer to where you want to be ... enjoy each step because the journey is just as amazing as the destination!!!!
You know you have support here to help with the challenges and celebrate your victories along the way!!!!
Onward we go!!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🎉