I am finally at the place where I cannot continue to lie to myself. I am a 46 yo male presenting. I've been pushing down feeling s for so long trying to deny that they are there.
My body does match who I am. But I am in such a position where I cannot come out to anyone. What can I do. How can I begin some kind of transition without it being know to everyone.?
Please- any help or suggestions are welcome.
Thank you.
Laser and beard removal can be done at any time, but better to start asap, as it takes forever. I am open about doing that and nobody thinks it's for transitioning. Find a local trans support group and go and learn. Learn about doctors, health insurance, what others gotchas are. Usually any support group is on the dl, so you should not be outed.
Congrats, BTW, I accepted myself at 46 too. It gets better. Welcome to Susan's too. You have come to the right place.
Bari Jo
hair removal is good if you have that option. I hate shaving, my wife hates stubble, the agreement for hair removal came really quick. We just need to work out the finances.
Change everything out of sight possible, feminize all your undergarmets, go from there.
Hi, Kc1058!
Welcome to Susan's. Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) to tell the members about yourself.
Congratulations on discovering yourself!
I see that you have already got some excellent suggestions. If there is a way to see a gender therapist without blowing your cover, I would strongly recommend doing so. A therapist can help you sort out your goals and plan strategies for moving forward at whatever rate works for you, in whatever direction you wish.
Here is some information that we like to share with new members:
Things that you should read
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Thank you. I will surely go over to the introductions forum and check in there. I won't lie, I am scared and relieved at the same time.
Quote from: Kc1058 on December 11, 2017, 11:48:25 AM
Thank you. I will surely go over to the introductions forum and check in there. I won't lie, I am scared and relieved at the same time.
A feeling shared with most everyone here at the beginning I was outed at work and have those same feelings now don't worry it means you are making progress
bobbisue :)
Trans is a spectrum. I recommend seeing a gender therapist. From there you can unpack a life of suppression and figure out your next steps. Not everyone needs to transition or there is partial transition.
I am curious as to why you feel you cannot come out to anyone. I felt the same way, but reached the point where continuing to hide meant experiencing painful and debilitating panic attacks on a daily basis.
I decided that risking shame and embarrassment was far better than being in pain all the time.
I hope you can find happiness on your path in life.
Hugs, Carly
Quote from: CarlyMcx on December 11, 2017, 09:25:28 PM
I am curious as to why you feel you cannot come out to anyone. I felt the same way, but reached the point where continuing to hide meant experiencing painful and debilitating panic attacks on a daily basis.
I decided that risking shame and embarrassment was far better than being in pain all the time.
I hope you can find happiness on your path in life.
Hugs, Carly
Carly-
It's just tough. I am still married and a couple of kids (16 and 19) at Home. I am also still in the Navy Reserve, which complicates it all- as that hasn't been made completely clear yet.
In any case- I expect my wife will be the first one I come out to. It would have to be.
Some of this journey can't be planned. It'll just happen the way it does.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Kc1058 on December 12, 2017, 10:10:11 AM
Carly-
It's just tough. I am still married and a couple of kids (16 and 19) at Home. I am also still in the Navy Reserve, which complicates it all- as that hasn't been made completely clear yet.
In any case- I expect my wife will be the first one I come out to. It would have to be.
Some of this journey can't be planned. It'll just happen the way it does.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Your wife and kids MUST be the first people who know, If you get them on your side they are a tremendous asset. When you feel ready I'd bite the bullet and just do it. She may be far more accepting than you think. Mine was.
Quote from: Bari Jo on December 11, 2017, 10:24:55 AM
Laser and beard removal can be done at any time, but better to start asap, as it takes forever. I am open about doing that and nobody thinks it's for transitioning.
I started with hair removal as well. When coworkers questioned strange red patterns on my face after a session (super pale here and stay red forever) I just told them I was tired of having irritated skin from shaving all the time and was permanently removing it. I had a few "oh wow I didn't know you could do that" but no one acted like they thought I was transitioning.
How can you be a woman and not let it be known to people? Honey, that is the worst way to be a woman. You want to embrace yourself, and show the world how happy you are being in your true form!
Don't let anybody else put a stunt on your happiness!