I've been seeing a gender therapist for about 4-5 times now, and I have a question. When will I know with absolute certainty that I am Transgender? And when will I know when to go on hormones? I want to go on hormones now, but I've been told that so soon isn't such a good idea, so I'm confused and I feel stuck...
That is a million dollar question.
I can only tell you from my experience.
My therapist never (to this day after 2 years of sessions) has said: "you are transgender." Not once. She has diagnosed me with "Gender Dysphoria". The treatment for GD is HRT or some form of Hormone therapy. That doesn't mean replacing hormones, but rather adjusting them.
I started on blockers about 3 months into therapy (I made the appointment with the endo about 1 month in). I noticed an immediate improvement in all aspects of my life. Since you can't live without either T or E and I'm blocking all the T that left E. I started on E two months after blockers and felt wonderful. Then I stopped cold turkey. In two months I wanted to kill myself and anyone who got too close to me.
Then two months later I started back up on the hormones (blockers & E) and I've not looked back. I'm Denise now in all ways and I've never been happier.
(I don't know if that answers your question but...)
When were we absolutely certain we were the gender we were assigned? I think it's all a matter of personal preference. If someone says they're gender X than it's that simple. It doesn't mean it's easy (nothing is) but if the shoe fits, wear it.
How long will it take? Who knows. It's not like if you were to decide to start HRT everything would happen over night. It's okay to try and back out a month, or 3 or even 12 months in. Yeah some things are irreversible but that's your choice. For me, it's worth it because my happiness and peace of my mind supercedes anything.
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The therapist isn't going to tell you that you are transgender. They will try to help you discover for yourself whether you are or not. And, as Denise says, if they say anything, they will call it gender dysphoria, not transgender.
BTW - if you are looking for "what is Gender Dysphoria" here is a pretty good description. You could almost self-diagnose it. But a second/third opinion would be good (I got three!)
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria (https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria)
Would it be a bad idea for me to go on hormones now?
Quote from: Denise on December 15, 2017, 05:50:02 PM
BTW - if you are looking for "what is Gender Dysphoria" here is a pretty good description. You could almost self-diagnose it. But a second/third opinion would be good (I got three!)
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria (https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria)
I saw the link, and I'm also reading a book about this too, I can relate to so much with regards to gender dysphoria...
There is no exact moment. My own discomfort in my skin grew over the years, got to the point where my health was getting bad due to not caring. Relationship was falling apart and I didn't spend as much time with the kids as I should have. The time I've had alone these last 2 1/2 months made me realize something had to change. After that the change required seemed obvious. I think its a matter of time and perspective on the choices you make over the years. I think you will just know when the time is right - or not.
When will you be certain Some people find that they are sure very soon others take a long time or even never doubts are normal even after starting transition I had many doubts only after facing the fact that I came close to death due to complications from a rather routine surgery and examining my life and choices very closely while in my hospital bed did i lose my doubts not a method I would recommend, your answer is within you take your time and explore this with your therapist
bobbisue :)
As the others have stated, your therapist won't tell you whether or not you're trans. Mine would point out when I seemed happy and when I seemed anxious during different points in my session, which helped me separate how I felt from how I thought others (mostly my dad) would feel and react. after about 8-10 session my therapist had accepted a position with a psych hospital and said she could recommend another therapist if I wanted to continue, but that she felt I already knew what I wanted to do. She was right, so I began trying to figure out the next step.
Quote from: Gulistani248 on December 15, 2017, 05:04:18 PM
I've been seeing a gender therapist for about 4-5 times now, and I have a question. When will I know with absolute certainty that I am Transgender? And when will I know when to go on hormones? I want to go on hormones now, but I've been told that so soon isn't such a good idea, so I'm confused and I feel stuck...
Hormones can have irreversible effects. If you're not sure that you're transgender you shouldn't be going on them. The correct time to start is when you know you're transgender. No one can answer that except you.
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 15, 2017, 07:02:46 PM
Hormones can have irreversible effects. If you're not sure that you're transgender you shouldn't be going on them. The correct time to start is when you know you're transgender. No one can answer that except you.
Hugs, Devlyn
Agreed Devlyn, dear!!!! Only you can answer if you are trans no matter what we may say or others for that matter. Some jump too quick to the hormones then they detrasition. you need to be totally sure like said. There is no time frame a like for anyone.
If you have gd then you are trans. Where on the trans spectium and if you would benefit from hrt you need to figure out. Knowing the social and financial issues of being on hrt and transitioning is very important. Trying hrt to see if you will benefit is a good way to figure out if you will benefit if you are mtf. FTM hrt changes the voice quickly while the the first 3 months of mtf hrt is reversable.
I did an intake because I tried to kill myself two days in a row. I was referred to a therapist that interviewed me to see if she would take me as a client. I was in a parking lot for the phone interview. She agreed to see me. I had made up my mind to end it that night if she did not take me as a patient. When she agreed to take me as a patient I cried.
I knew I felt female since age 4.
I had to work on getting stable which took a lot of work. I had been sexually and physically abused as a child and when I broke everything came up not just being trans.
After 2 months I asked my therapist if she thought I was trans. She said yes. I asked her what gid was and did I have it. She went on for 5 minutes listing the gid items I had discussed with her over and the two months. I had severe gid. It was 4 more months until I was allowed on hrt. Then another 6 months until I was allowed to start group.
I no longer have gd ( use to be called gid). I no longer have suicidal ideation. I am no longer suffering from depression ( I had long term severe depression). I never fixate on killing myself. I let my extra life insurance lapse. I am healthy.
I accept and like myself. I am transsexual and on E for life. I knew after three weeks I would never go off hrt. I really had no choice but to transition fully. Fighting what I needed to do nearly killed me. My life is different and I lost the two I love. I want to go back to school so I can learn a field of medicine and help others. Exactly what I am still figuring out.
Quote from: Denise on December 15, 2017, 05:50:02 PM
BTW - if you are looking for "what is Gender Dysphoria" here is a pretty good description. You could almost self-diagnose it. But a second/third opinion would be good (I got three!)
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria (https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria)
I did self diagnose and got a yes answer from specialist, but i call it transgender, i never call it gender dysphoria, i only see it as transgender.
Quote from: jessica95 on December 17, 2017, 01:27:28 PM
I did self diagnose and got a yes answer from specialist, but i call it transgender, i never call it gender dysphoria, i only see it as transgender.
When I was diagnosed with G.D. I was released l relieved. What I was feeling had a name and treatment. When I came out to people I always started by telling them about the diagnosis. That removed the idea of "choice". It worked well.
I'm not sure if "transgender" is a medical thing or not. Gender Dysphoria is. Bring transsexual has removed the dysphoria from my life.
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Only after a lot of soul searching, there's unfortunately no sure fire test, unless you count trying it for a while, but like others have said, permanent consequences for even that.
That said I was pretty miserable, my life still sucks because of choices I made when I considered myself cis male. But at least now I'm capable of fixing it.
Quote from: Gulistani248 on December 15, 2017, 05:04:18 PM
I've been seeing a gender therapist for about 4-5 times now, and I have a question. When will I know with absolute certainty that I am Transgender? And when will I know when to go on hormones? I want to go on hormones now, but I've been told that so soon isn't such a good idea, so I'm confused and I feel stuck...
Also keep in mind that being told it's not a good idea to start Hormones may not be an indicator of your therapist doubting that you are trans. There are other considerations as well, such as overall mental health and having a support system in place. For instance, even if they believe someone to be trans and perhaps would benefit from HRT, they may say it is not a good idea because they worry about conditions that may confuse the issue and possibly drive a transition the patient would regret (bipolar, OCD, you name it, it's probably a concern). Then on the support structure front, they often feel the need to make sure you are ready to handle the impact of starting HRT before they sign off on it. (Though having said that, if you push it enough and are unequivocal about it, the informed consent model means you could push through regardless, but it is better to trust your therapist if they seem to have legitimate reservations. This is what they do. Perhaps you could ask them to elaborate on their reservations however.)