https://sparkleblood.blogspot.com/2017/12/did-you-always-know-you-were-girl.html (https://sparkleblood.blogspot.com/2017/12/did-you-always-know-you-were-girl.html)
Wanted to put this out there in case it might be interesting or helpful to anyone.
Questions are welcome.
Have a great day!
-Natalie
Hi Natalie! Expect a mod to be by shortly to drop some links on you. ;D
I enjoyed reading your story, I know I for one had quite a few similarities over the years. How I managed to block the truth from myself until the past 5 months I haven't the slightest clue, so many blatant signs and feelings.
Some similarities, but growing up in the '50's I was forced to forget in my early childhood. Now when I look back from where I am today I have such better vision. If someone had asked me 10 years ago it would have been like someone telling me to go into the field and look for "something", wouldn't have had a clue what that would be. Now I know what I'm looking for and it's so apparent that "she" has always been with me in so many ways I'm almost surprised that the clues weren't overwhelmingly obvious. Thankfully, I was never dysfunctional and motored along just fine until I just ran straight into a wall without ever having seen it. Oh well. Now I have a new ride and am cruising along just fine again. Toni
Quote from: natalienicole24601 on December 18, 2017, 08:01:17 PM
https://sparkleblood.blogspot.com/2017/12/did-you-always-know-you-were-girl.html (https://sparkleblood.blogspot.com/2017/12/did-you-always-know-you-were-girl.html)
Wanted to put this out there in case it might be interesting or helpful to anyone.
Questions are welcome.
Have a great day!
-Natalie
Good story, i knew since i was as young as i can remember. You write good!
It's interesting how most of us can piece together two different stories, based on experiences like this.
The first is a story about how we're just weird, how we might look back on a life smattered with bizarre intrusive thoughts and weird hobbies, and that story "ends" with us learning to become normal.
The second story is usually only clear with that famous 20/20 hindsight vision, which is the story of how we were another gender all along. That story "ends" with transition or something similar if we're lucky.
Hi, Natalie!
Welcome to Susan's.
Such a familiar story! I didn't 'get it' until I was 61. Then, my hindsight kicked in and all those little things my entire life suddenly made sense.
Please feel free to stop by the Introductions forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) to tell the members about yourself. Here is some information that we like to share with new members:
Things that you should read
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I can relate to your story. Looking back I see many events and thoughts that alone stand for not much except that I'm not exactly the same as everyone else. For many years I cruised along, happy enough, yet unhappy at the same time. Never really could figure out why. Then my t got low and my thoughts on the matter became stronger. Then I was no longer functional as a male and I simply didn't care. Then the constant thoughts of why can't I be female got stronger.
And it all made sense. Would I go back to younger self and start earlier? Probably not as I have an amazing wife and two lovely daughters now who anchor me - something I need. Life sometimes tells you its time. Then you can look back with hindsight and ask why? How could I not see it before?
Thank you, Kathy! I just posted an intro! Great to meet you and thank you for making me feel so welcome!
-Natalie
Thank you so much for writing that piece. I also grew up in a time no one knew about transgender including myself. I'd heard of Christine Jorgensen as a little boy and was so amazed that could happen that I began praying every night to awaken as a girl. Renee Richards I heard of later but these women were portrayed as freaks of nature. I just couldn't let people find out I was a freak also.
It's fascinating the similarities in everyones story. The names and places change but the feelings and emotions really don't. Some people accept it earlier in life and now with the internet young people know they are not alone and not freaks and are able to transition earlier. Being a people pleaser, it's taken me longer to live for myself and not others. But I'm making progress.
Hugs,
Kate
Quote from: KatieD on December 22, 2017, 06:15:15 AM
Thank you so much for writing that piece. I also grew up in a time no one knew about transgender including myself. I'd heard of Christine Jorgensen as a little boy and was so amazed that could happen that I began praying every night to awaken as a girl. Renee Richards I heard of later but these women were portrayed as freaks of nature. I just couldn't let people find out I was a freak also.
It's fascinating the similarities in everyones story. The names and places change but the feelings and emotions really don't. Some people accept it earlier in life and now with the internet young people know they are not alone and not freaks and are able to transition earlier. Being a people pleaser, it's taken me longer to live for myself and not others. But I'm making progress.
Hugs,
Kate
Hi Kate,
I'm Laurie, mtf, 64. By the sounds of it you are probably near my own age. The are quite a few of us here, So you should fit right in. I also see you have escaped being officially greeted for over two months. Well let's correct that right now.
Welcome To Susan's Place! Come on in and take a good look around. Perhaps I can even get you to hop on over to the
Introductions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html) Thread and create a post to tell us a little bit more about yourself so we can get to know you a little better and greet you properly. I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there.
You have been greeted!.
Laurie
Global Moderator
Laurie@susans.org
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