I know that gender and orientation has nothing to do with anything but it seems more complicated then that for me. I wanted to hear from others if they have felt anything like this. I know when I first started exploring GID I was pretty sure I was the only person in the world with it. Turns out about 342876 people on youtube have my exact story just with a different name.
Right now I'm off of test and not on any e. I don't really know my sexuallity for some reason at the moment because I feel asexual. I don't know what if anything would happen if a girl touched me right now. I guess nothing. I do like that I'm really focused but I'm one of those people that needs a better half and I'm quite worried that it will be hard if I don't have that drive to go out and meet one.
Anyone feel asexual because of GID or transitioning? I really wish I had a somebody right now who I could use as support to get me through this. I would even consider dating a guy (if I ever get passable or get to a point where I feel like that doesn't matter) sometime into my transition. For some reason I can always get a guy to date me. I don't know why but if I walk by a gay bar and start talking to people I will get one or two people to try and get me to come home with them. I can not do this with women believe me I have tried(some times I try too hard and it can scare girls off).I think its because of my mix of fem and male features as all the guys I have met (yes I did try going home with a few when I was lonely and in a very weird state) wanted to be the man in the bedroom and didn't seem like they wanted me on top at all. I see some guys as good looking but I couldn't imagine getting aroused by a guy. Although I have a fantasy where I have sex with a guy as a woman. Even though I don't find the man too attractive but I have always wanted to be the female when having sex even when having sex with girls. Being a lesbian is not too appealing to me but woman are beautiful.
I don't know what to make of this but if this stays it could be a bit of a problem trying to find a partner to have a relationship with. What do gay guys think of MTF people that have transitioned but not had full SRS? What do they think of MTF people at the beginning? I know that depends on each individual but I don't have a gay bar I can hang out at and ask questions like last time I was curious or confused rather.
Im Asexual also, its too confusing i just dont date at all really... last date i went on was like a few years ago, it was with a guy but before that i was interested in a woman, and then before that again i had a boyfriend for a couple of months but still didnt really do much sexually with him
I am a late transitioner, having GCS at age 66. My interest is anything sexual diminished over several years before transition. So, I cannot say that GCS made me asexual. I feel it was really my age. I am just fine without the complications of another personal relationship. I am single and I love the freedom that a single life gives me. I do what I want when I want to. No need to consider anyone else's feelings or desires.
Now, do not think that I am lonely. I have many different activities that I am involved in. There is plenty of personal interaction involved in my activities. For those of us that are younger and sex is an important part of their life, I say have fun but be careful. I wish you all the best.
I, too, am of the age where I was pretty close to asexual before transition. HRT has pretty much pulled the plug on whatever libido was left.
Having said that, my orientation was always towards women. That did not change. I am still attracted to women.
No, I was a greedy switch hitter before and still find people of all flavors to be attractive.
I guess this is really what is going on with me. I still feel attraction to both men and women but I am simply not interested in sex with others. sex is a DIY thing for me. I feel I want everything else but sex. I think I am trying to wrap my head around this. It makes sense but I have this question of why popping up. We got a few threads that seem to be along the same lines as this. I am thinking, chatting, out loud I guess.
Its the opposite for me. I'm not trying to battle to make a thing that works badly to function so I enjoy sex far more and thus are far more interested, though it isn't the drive that it was. Like it better this way.
When I was coming to terms with my identity I dreamed of and longed for sex as a woman since starting transition I have no interest in sex whatsoever to be held an treated like a lady is what I need now if my sex drive returns I have no idea what it will be though at this point it is ladies I find attractive so I am as confused as you but you are not alone in this
bobbisue :)
I have never been into sex with anyone. I got married to a nympho and my inability to do it eight days a week led to our separation. When we dated we only saw each other a couple times a week. But every night? That was over 40 years ago and the failure still haunts me to this day. I am not endowed well enough to really enjoy sex and the thought of me trying to hide a pea in the maw of a giant bearded clam became a chore more than an enjoyment. Since starting HRT I have been content to use the new equipment to stimulate rather than take it all the way. Thus far I don't miss it.
Psychologically, beginning transition has made it way easier to accept myself being bi/pan. As I've only been on hormones a few days, nothing physical there and that's just how I've always been but in denial. I'm definitely not asexual even though I've never been with anyone(lacked the drive as "male" even when I was a teenager and had a number of crushes I was very much attracted to), and I'm very much looking forward to when I reach a point I feel comfortable dating as a woman.
Nothing's changed.
I do have more of a sex drive but I'm not interested in getting laid. That's always been the case for me. Sex drive on its own doesn't really work as nature intended - it doesn't get me going out and trying to use it. Never has. I have to be interested in someone first in which case, fine, although the odds they'll be interested in me are always laughable and I'm cautious of getting involved with anyone again anyway. My last two relationships really took it out of me.
I can't call myself asexual because I have desires, but I just won't act on them. I don't even know if there's a word for that situation.
Quote from: Viktor on December 21, 2017, 03:32:47 PM
I can't call myself asexual because I have desires, but I just won't act on them. I don't even know if there's a word for that situation.
This is me also, its like theres a blockadge there or something
I just think its easier just to label myself Asexual for now
No changes in attraction for me yet. I think I've come to terms though that I'm asexual. growing up I always had crushes on girls but anytime one had a crush on me I would get super scared and try to avoid any contact with her. Sexually I think I'm attracted to men and women, but I don't know, something holds me back, I'm not mentally attracted to guys and I dunno if I'm really into vaginas lol. I've never done anything more than make out and the last time that even happened was like 10 or 11 years ago, and I'm pretty sure both times I made out with someone I was being used. I was hoping that transitioning would help me figure out who I want to be with but now I feel even less interested, and it really bothers me because all of my friends are in very loving relationships and I feel lonelier than ever and I don't know what to do about it.
Quote from: Maddie86 on December 21, 2017, 04:53:40 PM
I'm not mentally attracted to guys and I dunno if I'm really into vaginas lol.
Conveniently there does happen to be a certain demographic with a number of members that are women without vaginas. ;D
I would say my orientation changed. I consider myself bi-sexual. I like sex with both genders and still do. But the change happened when I realized I only want a mans penis when it's in my vagina. So I'm not gay like I thought...I'm a woman. And happily my libido has still got some life in it after 5 months hrt.
Well, I was celibate for the last 20 years of my married life. Yeah, like that. :( Add in decades of depression and anxiety, then relieve that by removing the testosterone, and I suspect I am asexual. Two months post GCS, and I haven't even been interested in trying anything. I'm very happy I had GCS, don't get me wrong, but I don't have any interest in sex.
At the same time, I still find women attractive. Since transition, and learning to be really honest with myself, I find I am actually attracted to femme persons. I found a trans man attractive recently, to the point where I fantasized about his red beard and leg hair, and last week I was strongly drawn toward a gay man. I didn't do anything, as this was a professional contact and the man in question has a spouse, and none of the attraction was sexual. The attraction seems to be romantic. I'd love to curl up next to the folks I am attracted to, hold them or have them hold me, but that's about it.
It is an odd state to be in, and I doubt I would ever find someone who could accept me as I am (60s, femme lesbian/queer and trans, a heck of a demographic). I should probably just get a cat. They'll curl up next to me and might let me hold them.