Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Lexi Nexi on December 24, 2017, 07:10:36 PM

Title: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Lexi Nexi on December 24, 2017, 07:10:36 PM
For me it stlll feels strange because I was straight and still am but LGBT. Its a sense of belonging with the realization you are part of an oppressed group where it is legal in 25 countries to kill a LGBT person and totally acceptable to discriminate against them in my country. USA!USA!USA!

I dunno.
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Gertrude on December 24, 2017, 07:13:16 PM
I've always felt like an alien from another planet


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Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: KathyLauren on December 24, 2017, 07:19:32 PM
Quote from: Gertrude on December 24, 2017, 07:13:16 PM
I've always felt like an alien from another planet
Exactly!  At least now it has a recognized name.

My wife, however, was weirded out by suddenly being LGBT without doing anything!
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Jailyn on December 24, 2017, 09:35:57 PM
I am in the same boat I have always felt alien!!! Yes, it has a name now, but for me I feel like I fit in with the group and feel comfortable!!!! It felt foreign for like 5 seconds and then I knew it was where I belonged!!!!
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: DawnOday on December 24, 2017, 09:45:44 PM
Not really because I have pretty much always known I was different. I guess, if anything does feel foreign, it is because I have never had an interest in men as lovers. But I have been jealous of my friends when they got married. I'm so confused.
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Littlethings on December 25, 2017, 02:16:38 AM
Yes I felt it after I compulsively said it to my self and almost indirectly my sister. I have only been out to my self for maybe a week.
Things came back, memories of thoughts and desires, aspects of myself that feel so true and right, rewriting who I understood myself to be and what I want out of life. Romance for example is something I had "never" thought twice about returned with a vengeance and With intensity (I can only guess if that suppression heavily contributed to this) a desire to be a woman, to live my life as one and hopefully be in a relationship with a woman. (of course any or all of my feelings may change as I am still trying to understand).  I know what I am feeling but fully and completely accepting it as true is a whole other battle. The lightness and dare I say happiness of these reappearing feelings ( if true and persistent) is a welcome but disconcerting change from how I felt before, a scary but pleasant disruption.
All of this most certainly feels and felt foreign to me, but also is a part of me (how true only time will tell).
Now that I think about it I am ascribing happiness as foreign, I hope it does not stay that way.
Sorry for the long winded answer, I am still getting a handle on things.
Hope this helps in some way
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Allison S on December 25, 2017, 02:56:16 AM
No I always thought I was "gay" but now knowing I'm not and that I'm transgender has been freeing.

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Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Sno on December 25, 2017, 04:59:28 AM
Oh gosh, I spent far too long worrying about this, and whether I was indulging in cultural appropriation - I've always been an ally to the community, and feeling alien (a common theme), with no recognisable tribe at that time it is difficult to say this with confidence, but that is an issue I have with me (confidence and self esteem issues), especially as in a hetero normative society, I'm read as straight, cisgender.

Yes that means the closet is all pervasive, and there are very few that know that it's about as far from the truth as possible.

Rowan
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Shambles on December 25, 2017, 05:35:40 AM
For me the rest of the world became foreign, it was only lgbt that was correct.

I am the foreigner in this strange world of binaries
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Thea on December 25, 2017, 09:02:58 AM
Wow, what a good question!
I think I have been bisexual all my life but in major denial for most of that time.
It just felt so wrong! My serious relationships have all been with women but I have had a few hook-ups with men. I always would think, "that was fun, but just a behavioural aberration. I'm still not bi." and move on with life.
Recently, events in my life have caused me to really look at myself and wipe away all the mental B.S. I have been covering myself in. I am bi and transgender and that's okay.
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Yakayla on December 25, 2017, 09:22:08 AM
I don't worry about it. There no label that I actually could possibly fit under when it comes to sexuality anyway. I'm attracted to more masculine thinking, feminine body, downstairs can be anything, and 70% of my attraction to someone is their personality. So I'm a bi trans lesbian demi-pansexual?
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Sarah77 on December 25, 2017, 09:58:18 AM
Alien is a good word. Sometimes late at night I feel like I might be on brink of insanity!
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Bari Jo on December 25, 2017, 10:53:49 AM
I've had so much time to think about it.  I've known I was trans since about age 8.  When I finally accepted  I wasn't going to change (age 46) and couldn't fight anymore, lgbt was just a label.  It didn't feel alien at all.

Bari Jo
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Kylo on December 25, 2017, 03:51:13 PM
Sort of.

I don't particularly like being put into categories.
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Christy Lee on December 25, 2017, 04:17:19 PM
First i thought i was gay, then i thought ill try to be straight, then i thought maybe im bi, and i went back to thinking i was gay again well through it all ive always fallen in the Asexual category as i havent really really dated or had sex all that much in my life, any sort of physical relationship ive always kept secret maybe i knew that i didnt want to fall under any sort of category because it never felt right?

Through all this questioning, there was always that, ofcourse if i was born a girl, i could feel more free try having a more open relationships, and to think about sex as a guy no it never felt right no matter if i was thinking about a guy, or a girl so after years i just sort of fell into the Asexual category

Ofcourse being Transgender still feels a little foreign to me, and im not one of those obvious trans girls i know people wont say to me oh girl we always knew or something like that, ive always tried to be as much boy as i could take but it felt more foreign cus ive always wanted to be a girl
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: sf_erika on December 27, 2017, 09:06:21 AM
Before coming to terms with being trans, I never really felt like I was part of the LGBT community.  But then, after I realized that I was under the "T" part of the acronym, it did feel a little odd at first.  I still remember walking into a bookstore, and asking them if they had a LGBT section.  It was the first time I had used the acronym, realizing I was part of it.  Anyway, yes - it felt quite foreign at the time. In a way, I'm still getting used to it.

Erika


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Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Kylo on December 27, 2017, 09:22:42 AM
What is alien about it is that the word "community" these days usually implies some sort of voluntary belonging. But I don't feel like I belong to the LGBT or even want to. Obviously I do in the eyes of others, but I no more especially want to be a part of it than I would like to be a part of the cancer survivor "community" or the "community" of people with PTSD. These are all conditions people don't choose to have yet the implication in the media and general attitude is that we do - that we all choose to be a part of it and enjoy it or something. Which is misleading.

This is main reason it feels foreign, and that it doesn't sit well with me that suddenly, based on ONE action that is personal (transition) I now belong to TWO letters of this community according to the world, when nothing has changed intrinsically within myself. There's a sense of fakeness to me about the idea I now suddenly belong in some major box or some group because of it, when if I'd not made that particular personal decision I would not? Yet I was exactly the same person with the same habits, beliefs and details. It seems bizarre to me.
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Roll on December 27, 2017, 09:48:32 AM
I feel very closely to Viktor.

The LGBT label, while objectively does apply to me in two ways, just feels... I dunno exactly. Not wrong, but not me. Part of that is association with the more out and proud pride-parade image I suppose, which I just don't feel a connection to. But also because above all else I am an individualist, and don't like being lumped into any group really. Even religiously, I cling to the inherently non-specific Deist term instead of accepting a label such as Christian, even if it too wouldn't be an inaccurate description.
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Gertrude on December 27, 2017, 12:01:04 PM
Quote from: KathyLauren on December 24, 2017, 07:19:32 PM
Exactly!  At least now it has a recognized name.

My wife, however, was weirded out by suddenly being LGBT without doing anything!
My wife too. She doesn't want to be a lesbian. She's not. She's a trudisexual.


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Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Faith on December 27, 2017, 12:04:23 PM
Quote from: Gertrude on December 27, 2017, 12:01:04 PM
My wife too. She doesn't want to be a lesbian. She's not. She's a trudisexual.

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oo, I love this. I think I'll tell my wife (the next time it comes up) ..

"You're not a lesbian, just have Faith"
Bwahahahahhhheheheeheeheeeeee
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: KathyLauren on December 27, 2017, 12:07:18 PM
Quote from: Gertrude on December 27, 2017, 12:01:04 PM
My wife too. She doesn't want to be a lesbian. She's not. She's a trudisexual.

I love it!!  :D

Quote from: Faith on December 27, 2017, 12:04:23 PM
"You're not a lesbian, just have Faith"

Haha!  Even better!   ;D
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Amie June on December 27, 2017, 12:43:45 PM
Yes, for me too. Many days I can't believe I'm a member of the LGBTQ community. What?! Me?! How/when did that happen?! Life is full of surprises :)

Lindy
Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: TonyaW on December 27, 2017, 02:55:55 PM
Quote from: Gertrude on December 24, 2017, 07:13:16 PM
I've always felt like an alien from another planet


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Didnt feel foreign.  Before that though, not from another planet but definitely always felt like a bit of an outsider, that I really didn't belong. Pretty sure that was because of the testosterone poisoning and estrogen deficiency I had.
Quote from: KathyLauren on December 24, 2017, 07:19:32 PM
Exactly!  At least now it has a recognized name.

My wife, however, was weirded out by suddenly being LGBT without doing anything!
My wife is also having a problem suddenly finding herself in a same sex marriage when she does not consider herself  lesbian or bisexual. 
Quote from: Gertrude on December 27, 2017, 12:01:04 PM
My wife too. She doesn't want to be a lesbian. She's not. She's a trudisexual.


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I knew that she was straight but guess I've been hoping for something like if your wife can be a trudisexual, maybe there is a chance mine can become a tonyasexual.



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Title: Re: When you realized you were LGBT did it feel foreign?
Post by: Charlie Nicki on December 27, 2017, 05:57:50 PM
I thought I was a gay man yet something seemed off always. I didn't feel like other gay guys. Realizing I'm trans made everything make more sense.


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