I've been in and out of the forums and talking with other trans people. And I've heard a lot of chatter about feeling down for being born the wrong sex, not getting support, feeling like it's bad to be this way. But we weren't born the wrong sex. Without our original bodies we would just be normal, we wouldn't be transgender.
We are different. But what's wrong with that? We are beautiful because we are different! Everyone only gets to live one life, but we get to live twice. Once with our given name, and once with our name that represents us for who we really are. We can learn from all our mistakes and start all over again. We may not know exactly what we want, but we sure know what we don't want. And when it comes to having insight into what it means to be a girl or boy, we're pretty much experts. We may have to deal with a lot of bs, like bullying, people not understanding us, or thinking there is something mentally wrong with us.
But we've gotten to a point where we can make a difference. Show the world that it is okay to be yourself. Because we aren't the only one that's get picked on for being different. We can be role models for future generations and maybe one day no one will have to live in fear for wanting to just be themselves. My name is Nina and I'm a girl. I might have a boy's body right now, but I'm still a girl and will always be one. No matter what! And i will always be transgender, and I'm glad I am. Love who you are others will love you back!
Beautiful post, Nina! Merry Christmas to you. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Nina you put into words the attitude I try to maintain as I meet more of our people I find that we are mostly a group of the finest people you could ever hope for not despite our struggles but because of them .I am proud to be a transgender woman
bobbisue :)
Hi Nina!
A beautiful post indeed sister and, I am in total agreement!...
There are so many gifts in this journey that are ours to claim... This path in life demands much but it gives so much as well... The demands are learning exercises... We learn what we value... We learn who we are at our very core...we learn to express... We learn to give our true self to others...The challenges and obstacles we overcome give us the true measures of our inner strength and resolve...
We are those who refuse to play the cards we were dealt and the game we are told we must play... We are those who shape our realities to reveal hidden truth...We learn that our life is what we make it to be and we feel the joy of looking at the world through new eyes ...like a child... A world of possibilities that were previously not ours to consider... become ours to explore...
Many in this world live their lifetimes without demands upon them to know these joys as we do...
Ours is a bold path and I am honored to be traveling it with all of you...
Onward we go!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
That was a very nice post. I'm glad for you and others who like being trans. I have never and will never feel that way. Being trans has caused me a lot of suffering and it's going to continue to cause me stress and pain for the rest of my life. There's always the possibility I will be outed and I can't ever have kids. I don't want them but I want the option like any other woman. No matter how good I look or how well I pass I am always going to feel inadequate next to a CIS woman because I'm not a CIS woman and I will never be one. When I actually think about being trans I get pissed off and very bitter that I was born that way. If I could go back and be born a CIS girl I would in a second.
This is a topic that is very personal for each person. I would not look down on anyone for how they view this. I actually have mixed emotions. I have given up a lifetime of shame along with the weight of this incredible secret of my nature when I came out. So, shame is not in my picture. I want to be a regular woman, I certainly didn't grow up and dream about being a transgender person. It doesn't mean I hate being trans. (I have had a few of those days though.) My reality is that I am a woman who had to transition to get here at least physically and socially. My thought is, if I sit here and surround myself with negativity about being trans, at some point it can't help but poison what I have fought my tail off to accomplish in becoming me, Monica. I waited til I was in my late 50's to get this right. In my case, I would be a fool to not enjoy the wonderful life I can have because it isn't perfect. I think I have a reputation for being positive on these boards. Believe me, it is self interest. I have tried the negative in my life for so long and it didn't work. I have discovered being positive (as much as I can) does work. I want to see others on here feel good so that is what I encourage, positive attitude. So, if they have a Matrix like blue pill that I could be a normal male, I would say no. It would wipe out who I am, and I am really starting to like being me. As for pride in being trans, I have times when I am proud of it. It is funny that so many always say they want to be different then the crowd, but when they really are different, suddenly they don't see the coolness of it. I look forward to what I will evolve into next.
Moni
This morning as I was getting ready and heading to work I was thinking how much I'm agonizing. It's really not doing any good to keep thinking "what if" or be stuck in the past. I don't fault people or society because they don't know any better for the most part. We're in our physical form in this world right now but anything can happen at any moment.
I can be miserable thinking about everything that's wrong with me (there's a lot). But I choose not to be. At least not until I have a chance to do something about the things that I can change.
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I thought the O/P wanted a topic for people who were happy. My bad.
Quote from: Julia1996 on December 26, 2017, 02:36:48 PM
it's going to continue to cause me stress and pain for the rest of my life
Hi Julia
I know you didn't solicite opinion or perspective on your posting here but, I am going to offer you a bit little sister because, I love you!!!
Your statement above has more than an air of resignation to a viewpoint that can negatively color your life... your relationships to the world and people in your life, for years to come.... When I was your age, I might of made a similar statement but now, I see things differently...
I'm not going to lecture or tell you to change your viewpoint today... We each form our opinions and build upon them as we move through our life based on our personal realities...
What I am going to ask of you is simply to remain open to the idea that the statement you made above may not be how you feel about things in the future... At a very deep level,... WE DECIDE, how we will feel about things and the lens we will view our life through... If you decide you are going to be in pain the rest of your life, our mind often takes that as our reality and does not revisit the thinking that got us to that place for years or possibly ever!... You are young Julia and the world is yours to make of it what you want! ...
Wishing all good things for you always little sister!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Quote from: dist123 on December 26, 2017, 03:23:00 PM
I can be miserable thinking about everything that's wrong with me (there's a lot). But I choose not to be.
There you go Sara!!!
The worries and fears only have the power we assign them... The real power is in your words above!...
Hugs and Love,
Yer Big Sista' 😀❤️🌻
Quote from: tgirlamc on December 26, 2017, 05:21:23 PM
Hi Julia
I know you didn't solicite opinion or perspective on your posting here but, I am going to offer you a bit little sister because, I love you!!!
Your statement above has more than an air of resignation to a viewpoint that can negatively color your life... your relationships to the world and people in your life, for years to come.... When I was your age, I might of made a similar statement but now, I see things differently...
I'm not going to lecture or tell you to change your viewpoint today... We each form our opinions and build upon them as we move through our life based on our personal realities...
What I am going to ask of you is simply to remain open to the idea that the statement you made above may not be how you feel about things in the future... At a very deep level,... WE DECIDE, how we will feel about things and the lens we will view our life through... If you decide you are going to be in pain the rest of your life, our mind often takes that as our reality and does not revisit the thinking that got us to that place for years or possibly ever!... You are young Julia and the world is yours to make of it what you want! ...
Wishing all good things for you always little sister!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Ashley, beautiful words to give Julia. I have experienced what she is feeling since I was her age. I live my life happily as who I am, but I too feel that deep pain of knowing that never will I bear children. I know there is nothing I can do about it at my age so I'm finding peace in what I can do. Julia though, is young enough to possibly benefit in advances in medicine.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 26, 2017, 03:40:00 PM
I thought the O/P wanted a topic for people who were happy. My bad.
Sadly Devlyn, it often seems that keeping a thread 100% positive around here can be a tall order but, I would truly LOVE to hear some more posts in this thread that speak of the joyful, the beautiful and the empowering aspects of the journey...
C'mon! step up to the plate and show us what ya got...(if no one steps up I will continue to spout my insufferable clap trap and no one wants that!!! 😀)
Hugs To All!!!
A 😀❤️🌻
Ok Ashley Here is my shot at being positive Being trans is better than:
. pretending to be cis when you are not
.being lonely in a room full of people because no one knows the real you
.Wishing to be able to be yourself
.avoiding mirrors every day
.doing things because people expect it based on how you were born
.lying to yourself every day
.censoring every gesture and comment
. carrying around a huge secret
Leaving behind all of this and more makes being trans great I now am free to be me
please feel free to add to this list
bobbisue :)
Now, that's what I'm talking about!!!! 😀 Thank you Bobbiesue!!! Who's at bat next?...⚾️
Quote from: Julia1996 on December 26, 2017, 02:36:48 PM
That was a very nice post. I'm glad for you and others who like being trans. I have never and will never feel that way. Being trans has caused me a lot of suffering and it's going to continue to cause me stress and pain for the rest of my life. There's always the possibility I will be outed and I can't ever have kids. I don't want them but I want the option like any other woman. No matter how good I look or how well I pass I am always going to feel inadequate next to a CIS woman because I'm not a CIS woman and I will never be one. When I actually think about being trans I get pissed off and very bitter that I was born that way. If I could go back and be born a CIS girl I would in a second.
Julia, When I started on Susan's I didn't fully understand. What I saw as an opportunity to be happy. Passing fabulously and I just had to complement the girl because her transition was so spectacular. She had the same issues as you do and at the time it did not make a lot of sense. Since then I understand and I think back to those same desires for myself years and years ago. Very valid... Except, now the ability to have a transplant seems achievable in a short time. Julia, you have a spirit I lost long ago. Please, never put yourself down. From what you have expressed in these pages, I know you are exceptional as a person...I do hope the road smooths out for you. Myself I am happy to be stable for once in my life. Right now I truly believe I can accomplish anything. If anything I feel younger and healthier than I have in a long, long time.
I'm so glad to see others who regard trans positivly, well done.I am known for my views that not only are we a normal living human but we are special and blessed. We have one life and we can wish all we want to be cis male or female but we are trans and that can never change so enjoy our amazing journey, life is not a practice run. Be proud to be what you are. Merry Christmas and have a wonderful 2018.
... and Warlockmaker hits a Home Run!!!!! 😀!!!!!
Thank you my beautiful sister for expressing the essence of what we are.... our path is blessed when our eyes are open to see the values in the journey and we are blessed again, to be walking the path with you!
Onward we go!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
I've come round from self-hatred to the point where I see being a transgender person as an amazing gift. I've grown so much since coming to accept this, and it has altered and enriched my life in ways that I would never have experienced as a suburban cismale of the dominant ethnicity here.
Oh, sure, it comes with a downside as well. Being anything other than a person of the heteronormative dominant gender and ethnicity here puts one at a disadvantage, with various higher risks in life. There are things I can do to mitigate some of the risks and disadvantages.
But, all in all, swapping my old life for my current one has been a good deal and a great experience.
Quote from: Julia1996 on December 26, 2017, 02:36:48 PM
That was a very nice post. I'm glad for you and others who like being trans. I have never and will never feel that way. Being trans has caused me a lot of suffering and it's going to continue to cause me stress and pain for the rest of my life. There's always the possibility I will be outed and I can't ever have kids. I don't want them but I want the option like any other woman. No matter how good I look or how well I pass I am always going to feel inadequate next to a CIS woman because I'm not a CIS woman and I will never be one. When I actually think about being trans I get pissed off and very bitter that I was born that way. If I could go back and be born a CIS girl I would in a second.
Hunny, we have all had these kind of feelings. I mean I would love to have a baby, but there are regular woman that can't give birth either due to cancer, deformities, injury. We don't always have a choice about what happens in life, but what we do have, is what really matters. Don't look back at bad experiences and think about how bad life has treated you. Use them to your advantage to grow and become a better you. And when I look at your profile pic all I see is fun and beautiful woman. You're no less of woman than any other.
Quote from: dist123 on December 26, 2017, 03:23:00 PM
This morning as I was getting ready and heading to work I was thinking how much I'm agonizing. It's really not doing any good to keep thinking "what if" or be stuck in the past. I don't fault people or society because they don't know any better for the most part. We're in our physical form in this world right now but anything can happen at any moment.
I can be miserable thinking about everything that's wrong with me (there's a lot). But I choose not to be. At least not until I have a chance to do something about the things that I can change.
I have seen a lot of your posts. And I'm happy to see that your turning things around. You go girl! You will get there. Keep focusing on the good stuff and more good things will happen. Though I like your dress, I would love to start seeing your face in your profile.
Too often we think things like, "I wouldn't have chosen to be trans", forgetting in the moment that nobody ever chooses who they will be, at least initially. At my first transgender march, another woman was carrying a sign that said, "I love being transgender." At the time I couldn't imagine thinking that. I felt damaged and "less than." I still don't think I could carry that sign, because the various burdens of being transgender are still heavy, and I don't always manage them well. It is nice though, to have come to the place where I can say that I don't mind being transgender because transgender is a perfectly fine thing to be.
Thank you ladies! I'm learning that starting transition is not a weakness in me..
I know there's stages and I'm just starting but I feel hopeful today [emoji4]
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A couple days before Christmas, I came out to my college senior son. Other than health professionals, he was the 4th person I've come out to. He was also the hardest for so many reasons - like I was his primary male role model growing up. In coming out I explained all the usual things that are so familiar to our histories. I also said that I am , for now, continuing to present "soft" male; but make no mistake, I am Transgender. He said that he knew. He had found my TG books (Julia Serano, Jenny Boylan etc.), observed my metamorphosis over the past several years and was relatively certain. My cloud of anguish, anxiety and worry over his judgement vanished. I realized that so much of my negativity about being trans was self inflicted. At times, I have said this that we are special. Really rare and special. I realize our culture mostly gives us headwinds, but I have to say that I feel that there are so many gifts that being trans has given me if I really inventory myself. I do love being trans, too.
I noticed Devlyn's admonition was right after my post. I didn't feel my post was negative but more honest of how I felt. Realizing I was trans truly saved my life. It gave me a place where life made sense to me. I will not sit hear and tell you there aren't days that I hate being trans, but I am overall positive about being trans. I also hope that with all the attention Julia got for her post that she doesn't feel that people are down on her. She was being honest too.
Moni
Hey today is my 6 month anniversary for my GCS. Hot dog! See I am trans ray of sunshine today! ;D
Quote from: HappyMoni on December 27, 2017, 09:43:35 AM
I noticed Devlyn's admonition was right after my post. I didn't feel my post was negative but more honest of how I felt. Realizing I was trans truly saved my life. It gave me a place where life made sense to me. I will not sit hear and tell you there aren't days that I hate being trans, but I am overall positive about being trans. I also hope that with all the attention Julia got for her post that she doesn't feel that people are down on her. She was being honest too.
Moni
Hey today is my 6 month anniversary for my GCS. Hot dog! See I am trans ray of sunshine today! ;D
I'm totally sure Devlyn was talking about my post not yours. She doesn't like me and that's fine. No I don't feel like anyone who responded to my answer is are down on me. I like hearing from everyone and I like to hear others views and opinions .
I don't dislike you . I think it's inappropriate to derail someone's topic by 180°, though. You don't go to someone's wedding and when asked to toast the newlyweds go on and on about your gallbladder surgery. There's a time and place for everything.
I've had to delete some of my own threads about being happy because people hijacked the threads. I think I had titled one of them "If youre happy and you know it raise your hand" No luck, it went toxic.
Hugs, Devlyn
Nina I had my face up on my profile when I first joined but I'd rather lay low for now and see how I feel about things. I only just started transitioning with hrt!
Keep up your positivity it helps!
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So about my gallbladder surgery... [emoji16]
I'll be honest, my posts to-date on Susan's probably average toward the negative, but that does not mean I haven't found some real positives in who I always have been, and what I've gained in my transition.
I don't want to bash cisgender people, but I think trans* people have a far more elastic view of the world.
My transition has also brought me into contact with many wonderful people who have given me support selflessly, and I've learned the rich value to be had from helping others.
I feel unconstrained by the labels that seem to bind so many in their lives, and this empowers me to seek happiness without boundaries.
No one is 100% happy all the time, but life is so much better when we are, or try to be. X
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Quote from: Megan. on December 27, 2017, 11:39:11 AM
I'll be honest, my posts to-date on Susan's probably average toward the negative, but that does not mean I haven't found some real positives in who I always have been, and what I've gained in my transition.
I don't read your posts as negative at all. I read honesty which is broad enough to acknowledge hardship.
I haven't read a single thing in this thread which downplayed the OP's personal happiness or shifted significantly away from what appears (to me, at least) to be the subject, i.e. the quality of the transgender life, and the extent to which we have each come to terms with it.
Quote from: rmaddy on December 27, 2017, 12:47:16 PM
I don't read your posts as negative at all. I read honesty which is broad enough to acknowledge hardship.
Thank you, I'm glad it comes across that way. I could still share a little more of the good parts of my life!
I don't like to post much about my children, that relationship is not too relevant to my being trans* or my transition.
That being said, my children bring such joy and happiness to me, it often brings me to tears.
It is my greatest hope that another benefit of my being out and open, is that they will grow up as open-minded and loving people. [emoji4]
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Quote from: dist123 on December 27, 2017, 11:38:20 AM
Nina I had my face up on my profile when I first joined but I'd rather lay low for now and see how I feel about things. I only just started transitioning with hrt!
Keep up your positivity it helps!
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I totally get that. You gotta move at your own pace. I hopefully get to start HRT beginning of march. But I'm not sure how it works in belgium. But even so i started having people call me Nina at work. They look at me all confused at first. But then they get used to it. And I don't know why, but I love confusing people. It's so much fun. You see them thinking really hard but can't quite figure it out and they want to ask but they are too embarrassed. It's so cute.
Quote from: Yakayla on December 27, 2017, 02:37:54 PM
I totally get that. You gotta move at your own pace. I hopefully get to start HRT beginning of march. But I'm not sure how it works in belgium. But even so i started having people call me Nina at work. They look at me all confused at first. But then they get used to it. And I don't know why, but I love confusing people. It's so much fun. You see them thinking really hard but can't quite figure it out and they want to ask but they are too embarrassed. It's so cute.
I've been getting looks like that but I think it's because people are noticing I'm not "just male"
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Quote from: rmaddy on December 26, 2017, 11:03:48 PM
Too often we think things like, "I wouldn't have chosen to be trans", forgetting in the moment that nobody ever chooses who they will be, at least initially. At my first transgender march, another woman was carrying a sign that said, "I love being transgender." At the time I couldn't imagine thinking that. I felt damaged and "less than." I still don't think I could carry that sign, because the various burdens of being transgender are still heavy, and I don't always manage them well. It is nice though, to have come to the place where I can say that I don't mind being transgender because transgender is a perfectly fine thing to be.
Maddie... As I've said before it's been a long lifetime of hate and loathing. Sometimes we question especially in the beginning. But, for me the moment that brought clarity to me was at Gender Odyssey with 1700 other transgendered persons. The seminars, the presentations by Doctors, supporters and allies. Just the general feeling of being where I belonged. I hope everyone has the opportunity to attend. It will come again to Seattle in August.
It think age has a lot to do with how you feel about this. Younger people tend to hate being in this situation, while older people tend to enjoy it at some level. I can understand both viewpoints.
If I were born within the last 20 years or so maybe this condition would have been detected much earlier in my life and I could have started transition in my teens. I expect my childhood and teen years would have been difficult, but I would then have been allowed to spend most of my life as the real me. It would also have been easier for me to start over in a new place so I could establish myself in a community where they only knew Jessica and had never heard of John. I am not saying younger transgender folks have it easy, this is hard for anyone, but it may well have been simpler.
As it is, I was born over five decade ago. I have over fifty years of male baggage to sift through, fifty years of friends, family, and acquaintances that have only even known John. Not all of it is bad. If I had done this earlier I probably would not have gotten married to a wonderful woman, my daughters whom I love and cherish would not be here, and I have no idea how the rest of my life would have turned out. For the most part I have been happy. Trying to start over at this point in my life would be difficult, so I will need to embrace my past while working on a new future.
Hopefully I have gained some wisdom through the years that will help me bridge my two lives. HRT has changed my perspective on many subjects. Being able to see the world through two different sets of eyes truly is a gift. Does it make up for five decades of living in the dark, of suppressing my emotions? I don't know, but it is at least a unique consolation prize.
My turn to shoot from the lip. I embrace that I am trans. Since transition started It has been an exhilarating roller coaster ride. There have been great days and days I want to forget. But through it all, I have an inner joy and peace that I never had as my previous self. I focus on what I have control over, and what I can change. I try to not worry about what I will never change. I embrace my gender, I know what it is to be unhappy, depressed and to morph someone who loves who they are, and is grateful for the gift of walking both sides of the street. My only regret is that i waited so long to get this.
Let's keep this thread one of positivity and a place to highlight the benefits we gain from being on the Trans spectrum; there are other places on the site to share and g find support for the negatives. X
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:police:
This bickering will stop NOW.
If you don't like a thread don't read it and start another.
Everyone calm down.
Cindy
I wasn't going to post in this thread because my feelings have been somewhat of a rollercoaster. But... yeah, I dunno. Sorry. This may get a bit rambly. Feel free to move along. :)
For the longest time my feelings have been... shall we say ambivalent. In my life I have been though some horrible things. Things I don't often talk about. Certainly not in public. Things that happened as a direct result of being trans. Violent, hateful things. Things that... *sigh* it doesn't matter. Point is... I have every reason to hate it. With a passion. To hate what it's done to me.
But I don't.
It took me a long time to get things straight in my head. Some cold, dark places. Long periods of time where I hated the world. A world that could be so cruel just because someone's different. A world where people could look upon someone else with such venom and hatred to the point where they would crush their dreams without a thought. And I put the blame on myself. It was my fault. If I wasn't like this then I would be okay. If things had been different then things would be different. I could dream. And plan. And... be someone else. Someone without pain. I have been to places I honestly thought there was no coming back from. Places I didn't want to come back from.
But one thing I have believed, and still believe, through all this, is that my goal in life is to help people. It's something I believe I am here to do. It makes me happy. It makes me feel better to see someone else feel better. I smile when another person smiles. Even someone I don't know. Maybe even especially someone I don't know. As silly as this probably sounds, I feel people's pain. But I also feel their joy.
And I have learned that... well... in life sometimes it's better to think about who you want to be, rather than think about who you wish you were. Being trans has allowed me views of life and sense of self that I have been able to share with others. Everything that has happened to me, it isn't because of who I am. It's not because I'm something that deserves to be punished or wiped away. It's because of who other people are. Their own insecurities and predjudices. And that's their problem, not mine. Life is what it is, and a different path may be no less difficult. Sometimes you have to walk the path you're on and make the most of the opportunities along the way. To look for the good you can do, rather than the bad that is done to you.
In that... I don't hate being trans. I don't hate being me. It has allowed me contact with many, many incredible people. It has allowed me to explore myself, and to help others explore themselves. To grow as a person and watch other people grow. It has allowed me to do what I believe I am here to do. And in that... no matter what happens to me, I will be thankful. And thankful to everyone I met along the way. I love the doors it has opened. I feel that I have had the opportunity to discover myself through being trans that I may not have had otherwise. That perhaps the impetus would not have been there. That... I know who I am more than I ever did, or maybe would.
And lastly... that I can use the things I've felt in my life... the negative emotions... to hopefully help others to not have to feel the same way. So on balance... I am grateful, not hateful. For myself. For all of you. And for being allowed to be myself.
...
Sorry, that went on a bit. :-\
Lovely rambling, thank you. X
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Quote from: Megan. on December 29, 2017, 03:17:16 PM
Lovely rambling, thank you. X
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X2
A❤️🌻
Sephirah Thank you for your wonderful ramble I am finding as I am going through my transition I wish to help others as well when I am able to do so I start to feel like a worthy person something I could never do as him
bobbisue :)
There's a lot not to like about being trans. All of us could share stories about how horrible it was, especially pre-transition.
But the really cool thing is that all that stuff led me to being where I am today, which is amazingly wonderful. If I could go back and give my younger self a message, it would be, "Hang in there. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but the end result will be worth it! Believe it or not, it will be worth 60 years of the slogging you are doing now, when you get the result." And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
When I was a little kid, my parents, like most parents, told me that I could be anything I wanted to be. A jet pilot, a fireman, whatever. Well, jet pilots and firemen were cool career choices, but what I wanted to be was a girl. Who would have thunk that I could pull off a hat trick? I have been a jet pilot and a fireman firefighter, and now I am a woman!
It boggles the mind, and I can't help smiling.
Kathy Lauren makes a good point. Something to think about, though... What makes being transgender so uncomfortable, so unwanted is not something within ourselves, but in the lack of acceptance by others. Living in a culture that so fervently believes in the heteronormative binary model and shuns any variation from that is where the discomfort, anxiety, and depression comes from. Without that, we'd just be interesting people.
Learning to shed that cultural bias, and finding accepting communities goes a long, long ways towards becoming comfortable and loving ourselves. Oh, in my case I certainly continue to seek out medical care and transition, because I want to feel right in my own body. Still, much of the depression and the self-loathing is gone now.
I very much enjoy being myself, to myself and those around me, for myself. I have my dear friends, so kind and accepting, and I treasure them. I have an accepting community, and I think I have found my path to peace within and joy.
I actually feel sorry for the poor folks so wrapped up and deluded by their cultural bias that they cannot accept even the smallest variations from their cultural binary model. It's sad to think of someone living their life, twisted up, anxious, and angry over every media mention or encounter in life that collides with their very narrow expectations.
Now, mind you, I'm not going to do anything to make these poor souls more comfortable by changing myself. They need help of a rather different kind, but it is difficult to drag an entire culture unwillingly into therapy. They'll have to recognize that they have a problem and accept that change is needed. This will take a while...
Quote from: Michelle_P on December 30, 2017, 10:42:15 AM
Kathy Lauren makes a good point. Something to think about, though... What makes being transgender so uncomfortable, so unwanted is not something within ourselves, but in the lack of acceptance by others. Living in a culture that so fervently believes in the heteronormative binary model and shuns any variation from that is where the discomfort, anxiety, and depression comes from. Without that, we'd just be interesting people.
.
I actually feel sorry for the poor folks so wrapped up and deluded by their cultural bias that they cannot accept even the smallest variations from their cultural binary model. It's sad to think of someone living their life, twisted up, anxious, and angry over every media mention or encounter in life that collides with their very narrow expectations.
Now, mind you, I'm not going to do anything to make these poor souls more comfortable by changing myself. They need help of a rather different kind, but it is difficult to drag an entire culture unwillingly into therapy. They'll have to recognize that they have a problem and accept that change is needed. This will take a while...
The therapy for most in that group would need to address multiple issues. I think it would threaten to pop their bubble of reality and they would fight it unending.
Nina you are very sweet and love the sentiments that you have here!!!!! I totally agree and yes we are different but, we should love our difference of who we are!!! No need to hide it but, embrace it!!!!
Hi Nina, that's a beautiful post and I'm really with you on it. I guess it's all about personal experience but for me ,I've never been happier. So if I was girl born maybe that would've been better? Who knows? Probably? Maybe or maybe not . I am who I am , I'm lucky to live in a small ish community that I won't be able to hide that well in but the point is I don't seem to need to. Each month of transitioning has got better and most mornings when I wake it's like I've had a good dream only to find it's a reality. Sure I have past life issues to deal with, some very upsetting but I am at least strong enough to deal with it now. Some friendships have notably improved and I've made a very special new one.
Siobhan x
Dear Trans Kids,
Y'got it good. You don't have to deal with all the BS we went thru as kids. It is as it should be. It's what we fought for.
What we didn't fight for? The belief that there is something wrong with us. I leave all that nonsense to ignorant, hateful transphobes.
Don't think I ever heard of Helen Keller complaining that she was born incorrect. That she was a mistake. And BTW wasn't that the argument NAZIS used to justify our extermination?
THERE ARE NO MISTAKES IN NATURE.
(https://i.imgur.com/FyLrYyI.jpg)
Budhism teaches us that we choose the obstacle we will face in our next life in order to learn the lessons we need to grow as spiritual beings for what is called "The Project of the Great Improvement of the Soul."
Word of warning!!! Danger ahead!!!
If you must persist in feelings of self hatred you will find that the end of that road consists, of anger, bitterness, regret, depression and suicidal ideation.
Sincerely,
Jane's Groove
PS
#TransIsBeautiful
Thank You Jane and Yakala... You have given voice to Truth... 🙏💗🌻
Quote from: Janes Groove on December 30, 2017, 04:15:13 PM
Dear Trans Kids,
Y'got it good. You don't have to deal with all the BS we went thru as kids. It is as it should be. It's what we fought for.
What we didn't fight for? The belief that there is something wrong with us. I leave all that nonsense to ignorant, hateful transphobes.
Don't think I ever heard of Helen Keller complaining that she was born incorrect. That she was a mistake. And BTW wasn't that the argument NAZIS used to justify our extermination?
THERE ARE NO MISTAKES IN NATURE.
(https://i.imgur.com/FyLrYyI.jpg)
Budhism teaches us that we choose the obstacle we will face in our next life in order to learn the lessons we need to grow as spiritual beings for what is called "The Project of the Great Improvement of the Soul."
Word of warning!!! Danger ahead!!!
If you must persist in feelings of self hatred you will find that the end of that road consists, of anger, bitterness, regret, depression and suicidal ideation.
Sincerely,
Jane's Groove
PS
#TransIsBeautiful
I wouldn't say we have it good. We have it better than past generations yes, but it's still no picnic being trans at any age. I realize I'm extremely lucky to have family support but there are plenty of trans kids being thrown out on the streets or having specific gender behaviors and stereo types forced on them. I wouldn't say
anytrans person has it "good".
Hi guys.....I think this thread is a good thing! It seems to me that when we talk about the good things about being trans, there's the "abstract" stuff: we get to be part of this wonderful community, we get to become ourselves instead of just landing there, and thereby appreciate it so much more....
And the "concrete" stuff: the particular people I've met through being trans, finally being able to feel emotions after I hatched, the explosion in my social life due to getting involved in trans groups, having a purpose, finding a tribe, exploring myself.....
Quote from: Julia1996 on December 30, 2017, 06:35:42 PM
I wouldn't say we have it good. We have it better than past generations yes, but it's still no picnic being trans at any age. I realize I'm extremely lucky to have family support but there are plenty of trans kids being thrown out on the streets or having specific gender behaviors and stereo types forced on them. I wouldn't say anytrans person has it "good".
True enough. The social and cultural aspects of being transgender, and how we are treated has changed.
Some things are better; in many places we are not at risk of being committed, or run through some form of conversion therapy if we are found out. (A lesson learned the hard way.)
Some things are worse; people know we exist, and some folks actually put in effort in spotting us and targeting us for mischief or harm. People are being trained by ideological leaders to reject us when we are found out, to the point where families cast out their own, and businesses litigate for the 'right' to discriminate.
Still, these are external influences, and with care and effort we can avoid these some or even much of the time. If we can surround ourselves with accepting, friendly people, we can improve our own self-image, unlearn the learned cultural self-loathing and come to accept ourselves. That can provide an enormous improvement in our mental health, allowing us to set aside depression and anxiety, and freeing us to blossom as our authentic selves.
We the transgenders are proud and with a very beautiful and special spirit.[emoji178][emoji175](https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171231/ce2568cf874ee22cad060d2f4871b5ed.jpg)(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20171231/aaab5f903ce9c386d1b439e5c48e1ea4.jpg)
Sent from my SM-J727T using Tapatalk
Quote from: joan196.jh on December 30, 2017, 09:22:33 PM
We the transgenders are proud and with a very beautiful and special spirit.[emoji178][emoji175]
Sent from my SM-J727T using Tapatalk
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Being trans is the best!! So happy when I see others celebrating the fact that they are transgender. I wouldnt be as strong as I am today if not for the journey transness has put me through
Quote from: Sawney1000000 on January 01, 2018, 01:48:31 AM
Being trans is the best!! So happy when I see others celebrating the fact that they are transgender. I wouldnt be as strong as I am today if not for the journey transness has put me through
NOW THATS WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Sawney... You get a cookie!!! 🍪
A😀💗🌻
I'm super happy to see more positive energy come out!!! I want to hug all of you. And if you're feeling down and feel like there is nothing good going on in your life. Just know that I am here rooting for you. Cause everyone deserves to be happy, no matter who you are. Happy new years to all of you! Stay beautiful :)
Before I transitioned I hated myself and being trans. I was frequently in a dark place and severely depressed. I tried to end my life many times. I finally got help when I realized I was at the end.
During early transition I hated myself and the loss of wife and daughter. I knew what needed to be done. I continued on the path of transition, speeding up the process.
Later in my transition I accepted the losses, the occasional looks and the occasional stairs. I like myself and feel good about myself. I do not love being trans but I love the feeling of being myself. I am the person I was meant to be. Some of my pain was from not accepting who I am and trying to escape; some of my pain comes from others.
Words can not describe the feeling of calm. I too like helping others. I also need to be alone a times in the woods or meditating where I can be at total peace.
I have come to terms with being trans and like not being someone else.