Taking a leaf out of Mr Wolfs book, as this question popped into my head this morning, as a result of fun yesterday at a friends pool.
I feel very ashamed of my body, I have gynaecomastia (long story, but I've had it since adolescence), and as a consequence am extremely self conscious of myself - particularly when swimming - it's taken me a long time to get back in the water, but I always cover up. This year it's a bit worse again, as I changed, and looked down. There were the girls as always, but for the first time in years, there was the clear line of a fabric bridge between them (no, no HRT here...)
I do this for my children, so we went ahead with activities as planned, and had a great time but it was a struggle for me, as I was aware that anyone could ask some really awkward questions, and out me.
So, quite simply in our battles with dysphoria, when do you feel like you have a huge neon sign pointing out that we are different, and vulnerable as a result.?
Rowan
Anything thats different about me makes me feel vunerable,
like you my gyn started in my teens after i started on steriods for a condition, 20 years later still on the roids there still there. Put on alot of weight that i belive was partly subconsious to hiding them but loosing weight now. In private there boobs that make me feel nateral but in work ive binded them to appear more "normal". Even when the cause has nothing to do with trans issues for most ppl its intertwinded for me.
As ive gone into my 30s i have definatly developed an attitude of f u world, im me and dont care what you think but in reallity thats just a thought and truth be told anything that means i cant be lost in a crowd makes me feel vunerable
Mostly in the in-between phase of transition when developing male characteristics but not enough to pass with them. That's a hellish phase.