Hi everyone!
As Wednesday draws closer so does the excitement as well as the anxiety. With all the research I've done and inspiration given, there's no doubt that this is what I want to do. But two things come to mind; one being my hair which I can only assume that it will change to some degree with HRT and that I might try the Rogaine.
What concerns me somewhat more is my voice. I've been checking out so many websites regarding the voice feminization
process and am totally awed by the voices some women have now.
Any suggestions in this area?
Thanks!!!!!
Those are two of the most stubborn areas of dysphoria for most of us trans women. I gave up on my hair: there's not enough left to work with, so it's wigs or hats for me.
For voice, I had several sessions with a voice coach. I learned a lot, and I try to put those lessons into practice. But I am never likely to get my voice anywhere near the middle of the female range. I can reliably get into my "head voice" and keep it there for a while, provided I am well-hydrated and not tired. I try to work on my intonation. After that, it's "What the heck, I am a trans woman and I am going to own it, however my voice turns out."
Hi and thanks Kathy!
I appreciate your advice. I look at myself now and I had gained like 40 pounds since I quit smoking a year ago New Year's Eve and I read that there will be a modest loss of weight and redistribution and I wonder where in the heck will it go, lol.
Eva by Kathe Perez is a good App if you have an Ipad or Iphone. Here is something that may be of help.
https://www.exceptionalvoice.com/eva/ https://www.exceptionalvoice.com/home/voice-feminization/
Fortunately I have good hair so I am not much help there. But I heard castor oil works well and is a lot cheaper.
https://www.wikihow.com/Apply-Castor-Oil-for-Hair
I am lucky... My voice is kinda feminine anyway, i do sometimes have to think about speaking at a lower more manly pitch as so people wont notice
As for my hair, again lucky, my hair grows out of control, and it gets so long, i use to let it as a teenager until people started noticing how long it was and i would get it cut
But this also leads to dysphoria as well
Hey CalDudette for a fellow CA girl... Congrats on standing at the HRT starting line!...Amazing things await you sister!!!
My views on voice are much like Kathy especially in regards to self acceptance being at the heart of this at the end of the day!!!... I did quite a bit of training and I speak comfortably around 185-190 without having to think about it now... When I hear my voice recorded I absolutely hate it but I think that is pretty universal to most people... "Do I really sound like that???" 😝 ... I think my resonance could be much better and I have contemplated VFS in the coming year
But!!!... What I want you to do is not to worry or get too hung up on any particular aspect of all this coming together... All will be well... Let HRT do its magic... Let patience guide your steps... Don't focus so much on your destination that you forget to enjoy each day and embrace every moment of the amazing process... Your life is going to unfold in many beautiful and unexpected ways!!! 😀
Onward we go brave sister!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻
Thank you for your input. Up until very recently I thought Dysforia (sp) was some evil Alien queen.
Wow Ashley,
Your words touched me soulfully as well as emotionally and I haven't even begun the HRT to get my feelings together :)
Thank you Sister!
When I joined the site I first hung around the voice forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,346.0.html) in order to learn about voice surgery. It hasn't been as active lately but there is a good deal of recent information on therapy and surgery. If you have problems with voice, feel free to ask me as that is something I have a lot of experience with.
Hi Dena and thank you!
As a teenager I was told that I had a girl's voice and that continued until I was either 15 or 16 when my voice broke. Then over the years it's become "more manly" and now I am wanting to send it away.
I read somewhere over the past few weeks that while HRT doesn't change your voice, it somehow allows it to be a wee bit more flexible.
My dogs think I'm crazy when I try singing or changing my voice, lol.
Appreciate your help!
Cali
Cal, can I ask about your hair? Because when I started out, I also stressed about it - I was like "it's long, but it's man-long, it's coarse and thin and that's because of testosterone".... This is kind of bollocks. How old are you and how much hair have you got? Because any open-minded hairdresser will tell you that there isn't a "hair binary", except for how many products women use and how hopeless men are with hair......."I wash it every day because it gets this-or-that otherwise" and all that.....i.e. the "hair binary" is societal and not biological.
So I'm pre-HRT, I'm 23, I'm unambiguously male in terms of biology and early-morning appearance, but I went to the hairdresser and said, "I'm trans, give me a female cut", and they did it, and gave me advice on how to maintain it, and well, it passes for female hair now, even though it's a bit thin (which a lot of ciswom have anyway).
If your hairline is dodgy, have a look at finasteride: it kills DHT, a type of testosterone which is the Devil and causes the M-hairline; and it can restore the hairline to some extent. Might be worth asking other finasteride-users first though, because I've heard mixed reports.
As for voice: do you want to sound like a ciswoman, or just less like a dude/androgynous? Because I've managed the latter, and it's not hard; though the former I think is a bit of a slog.....
Anyway, feel free to send me a PM if you like =)
J xx