Good evening, guys and dolls.
I'm curious as to how you deal with those certain gendered, incongruent, unwelcome parts.
It really feels so awful. And shameful. Men don't have tits. Men don't wear bras or binders. Men don't have to shower in their underwear.
I'd really rather be dead than have these parts, honestly.
Has anyone else ever felt this way? Has anyone else felt this uncomfortable?
Nero hoping to hear he's not alone
I think I deal with it the same as anyone with an unwanted birth defect. You live with it until you can do something about it. Some people adjust and some don't. I transitioned 10 years ago because I couldn't stand it anymore. I've still got a couple years to save before surgery.
Hang in there, do what you can and never be ashamed of what you were given.
Karen Lyn
Quote from: Nero on December 15, 2007, 09:40:19 PM
Good evening, guys and dolls.
I'm curious as to how you deal with those certain gendered, incongruent, unwelcome parts.
It really feels so awful. And shameful. Men don't have tits. Men don't wear bras or binders. Men don't have to shower in their underwear.
I'd really rather be dead than have these parts, honestly.
Has anyone else ever felt this way? Has anyone else felt this uncomfortable?
Nero hoping to hear he's not alone
Hi, Nero,
Although I was not fond of my male parts and tried to get rid of them with a DIY approach, I never showered in my underwear. Sorry I can't join you on that one. I agree with KarenLyn: live with it until you can do something about it and that is exactly what I am doing.
I pray that you find a lack of pain in this matter.
Most sincerely,
Wing Walker
I feel like you do Nero, I hate my birth parts. And everytime I shower I have to be reminded of it! Yuck! =/
But like everyone else says...I guess you live with it until you can change it..Unfortunately I can't change it right now..For me though, it goes further than just "parts" I was born with..It's this AWFUL body hair! I'm constantly reminded of that in the shower too..Stupid showers!
Although..I guess we REALLY need them....lol :)
When I was pre-op I dealt with it by knowing my situation was temporary and that the unwanted bits would be donor material for the eventual op.
I hated my body before chest surgery. I dealt with it by not having mirrors and not looking at myself. Now I have some bits that are incongruent and will stay that way, but I've kind of accepted that. I'd prefer it if there was an option that worked, but there isn't, so I live with it.
Dennis
I used to go through horrid phases of suffering; after I started saving for my GRS and made it my central focus in life, the anxiety subsided & I dont get into these depressive moods anymore. When I look at the numbers on my savings account, my heart beats faster & the realization that I am a step closer to my dream calms me down.
I suppose, for me, my genitals pose a larger problem than my breasts. At least those can be hidden relatively well and ignored for the most part until surgery. However, every time I have to sit down to pee I feel defeated.
Quote from: Milo on December 17, 2007, 03:42:48 PM
I suppose, for me, my genitals pose a larger problem than my breasts. At least those can be hidden relatively well and ignored for the most part until surgery. However, every time I have to sit down to pee I feel defeated.
Interesting. Defeated how?
Well, I suppose very much as though I've failed to be a man or something along those lines. The people I know who argue about my ->-bleeped-<- always say things like "But you can't ever be a real man - you don't have a penis." and I often feel that those people are right. So, a reminder that I don't and never will have a penis is defeating in the sense that I'll never be able to defend my manhood, as the physical representation of such is nonexistent.
Umm,
I try to be loving.
not rejectful.
They are a part of me as well.
I try not to judge them, and just accept them as is appropreate.
I guess I try to see the bright side of things rather than focus on the dark.
It is hard.
But I try.
Milo: I kinda think you do have one! Just really, really small. :angel:
Small=More sensitive? :angel:
-Sarah
Lol! It's a shame that sensitivity means little when you aren't getting laid. XD
Let's see....at age three you realize that you are not a little boy and this is when you are taught about male and female parts. As you grow up, the hatred towards *that thing* grows stronger. The more your parents tell you that you are a little "boy", the more you hate your body & become rather obsessed with removing *that thing* yourself.
As a matter of fact, you try to cut *it* on three different occassions, but the pain is so excruciating that you give up. At night you feel like a complete failure because you weren't "strong" enough to put up with the pain and remove *it* from your body. You cry day and night. You pray to "God" to make you a girl. You make promises, imerse yourself in school, get good grades so that "God" can grant you your wish. Nothing happens, of course.
Eventually, you can't even stand looking at *it*, you shower in your underwear, you learn not to touch *it* ever. You enter a very depressive state, your parents worry, you are only ten. They take you to the therapist and he puts you on heavy anti-anxiety & anti-depressive drugs. These drugs help you. You are still sad but not suicidal. That's a good thing.
During your adolescence, you learn about SRS and at last you see a light at the end of the tunnel. SRS becomes your main goal. The more you work towards your goal, the more relieved you feel. The pain is still there, the hatred towards your anatomy is dormant, the incongruency is sometimes too much to bear, but at least there's hope now, and that hope keeps you going, day and night.
This is the story of a little girl who learned to deal with her birth defect for so many years until one day, she woke up and realized that "God" had finally granted her wish. ;)
tink :icon_chick:
Same with me when I go to the bathroom, I hate sitting down so much!.....Every night right before I sleep, I think about the penis I'll never have. :'( :'( :'(Its really sad if you ask me. I feel so disgusted, I mean I still can't believe I was born like this sometimes. I hate my so called life.
Quote from: Tink on December 17, 2007, 07:30:58 PM
... you try to cut *it* on three different occassions, but the pain is so excruciating that you give up. At night you feel like a complete failure because you weren't "strong" enough to put up with the pain and remove *it* from your body. You cry day and night. You pray to "God" to make you a girl. ...
During your adolescence, you learn about SRS and at last you see a light at the end of the tunnel. ...
tink :icon_chick:
I'm envious. The story is so like mine except I didn't learn about SRS until I was 40 with a whole lifetime of baggage. Thank goodness the scars won't effect the SRS. Barring unforseen circumstances, that will be with Marcie Bowers a year and a half from now.
Karen Lyn
I generally surprise my girlfriends with them..... from behind >:D
Make 'em take root and grow like carrots!! Under the surface!
Well, mine anyhow. I spoz that wouldn't work for yours, Nero!!