Hey folks,
I wanted to get your opinions on something I am considering.
To preface this - I am questioning my gender, I was raised a man but think there is a really good chance I might be a woman.
HRT is obviously used as a way of transitioning for somebody who knows they want to transition, but is it appropriate to use HRT as a means of gender exploration, to see if (in my case) having more estrogen and less testosterone in my body feels right? Or is HRT something I should only consider when I completely have my identity figured out?
Thanks all :)
Also, a bit about my situation, if you think it might be relevant to the question at hand. If not, just responding to my original question is obviously totally fine.
I feel as though I have all of the hallmarks of a trans woman in denial about her identity
- ever since puberty I have constantly fantasized and been aroused at the idea of being in a woman's body
- I hate my body hair, I always shave it off
- for a "straight guy", sex really grosses me out and it has always made me extremely uncomfortable
- when I exercise, it's ALWAYS to lose weight. Gaining muscle mass has always been a big no for me. I only want to slim down, as a matter a fact that has unfortunately led to some eating disordery behaviors
-I experience minor forms of dissociation, which I found out recently is apparently quite common in pre - acceptance trans folk
Despite all that stuff, if you asked me if I "felt like a woman", I would say no. Someone told me about their experience - they were exactly the same, all the red flags but they didn't feel it. Then they tried HRT and things started to make sense VERY quickly. So that's why I'm considering it!
HRT is for transition, and what you gain with it cannot be undone easily. But it's a long process and changes won't be visible at first to anyone but you. In this sense, it's also a means to self-exploration.
I still think it's only safe to start taking hormones if you're ready to give up your left as a man for sure. Even 3-6 months on hormones could bring infertility to you and boobs (some reported longer periods, but others saw changes coming real fast - you never know).
So, if you cannot fathom going out as a women, what will you do when you have no other options to hide those changes? Would you be happier then than you're now?
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If you are curious, there is a reason. Unless you took hormones for more than a year, changes can be undone, and I don't think you need more than a few months to realize wheather you like it or not.
Also, I know people that don't identify as trans, but take a low dose of hormones to have a more androgynous body.
At this point, I'd recommend seeing a therapist that specialises in gender rather than going straight to hormones. I don't think that hormones should be used as a diagnostic tool, as there can be resulting negative issues..
As a society it seems many are all too happy to take the "quick and easy" route to things, even it's clearly not the best option. Take the time, talk to an experienced therapist.
Personally, I wouldn't take something that will change my body until I was darn sure about it. As mentioned, irreversible changes come with taking HRT.
99.9999 percent of people don't even consider for a moment that they might be transgender. The rest join Susan's! :laugh: If you're having these thoughts, there's a very good chance you are transgender, and most knowledgeable medical providers will agree with that. You can start with your primary care physician or a therapist who specializes in gender.
Hugs, Devlyn
My primary care physician wasn't aware of how people in transition have hormone levels of their target gender. I look to him to diagnose common maladies, not have any insight into what being transgender involves. If you can find a therapist who understands this and has a history of working with us, that's great, but it may take some legwork. I quite like my therapist but it was a bit happenstance finding her.
Some people here report breasts forming buds within a week. That took me a few months. I didn't really have my testosterone tamped down for quite a while, though. And now that it has, the mental change is pretty subtle; but, again, some report instantaneous drastic differences in how they feel. When I began I thought I felt a lot more patient and at ease, but that seemed to fade away, too. Perhaps the HRT really did its stuff at first, I'm not sure.
In addition to my earlier comments, I feel a need to makes some comments on this section..
Quote from: Daspin93 on January 06, 2018, 03:24:08 PM
I feel as though I have all of the hallmarks of a trans woman in denial about her identity
- ever since puberty I have constantly fantasized and been aroused at the idea of being in a woman's body
I never had those fantasies, nor do others.. Nor did I get aroused..
Quote- I hate my body hair, I always shave it off
Indifference is about all I could muster on this one..
Quote- for a "straight guy", sex really grosses me out and it has always made me extremely uncomfortable
This is also something that is not universal, and to me, points at issues with sexual preference.
Quote- when I exercise, it's ALWAYS to lose weight. Gaining muscle mass has always been a big no for me. I only want to slim down, as a matter a fact that has unfortunately led to some eating disordery behaviors
This doesn't even really apply to women, let alone all trans women.
Quote-I experience minor forms of dissociation, which I found out recently is apparently quite common in pre - acceptance trans folk
And this is something I've never had - and is something that really needs to be discussed with a therapist..
I have never liked the idea of using HRT as an exploratory tool. The permanent damage to one's reproductive health and permanent damage to one's natural ability to produce endogenous sex hormone are too steep a price to pay for gender exploration.
Gender Therapy is the gold standard for gender exploration.
Quote from: kelly_aus on January 06, 2018, 04:47:49 PM
This doesn't even really apply to women, let alone all trans women.
I never had that overriding need to be overly skinny either.
To the OP: Check out some of the female powerlifter videos on YouTube. That will disabuse you of the notion that wanting to be emaciated is a universal female trait.
Actually, given that the average female weight in the USA is less than ten pounds less than me, and I am seven inches taller than their average height and work out a lot, I don't think the desire to be emaciated is even all that common among women.
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I ascribe to the school of thought of "If you think you are trans....You are".
That is simple. The REALLY HARD question is Where? Where on the spectrum are you? Where between the bounds of cis-male & cis-female are you... Today?
HRT? NFW until you have a firm footing as to where you are. Only you know the answer. You may need help to get the right questions asked to know. Which is where a for real Gender Therapist can help. The role of a therapist is to ask you questions you don't want to hear. To make you think about the things you don't want to think about.
Because you are questioning, you should seek out a gender therapist. The transition is difficult and expensive so you should pretty sure you will be able to complete what you start out to do. That said, there are a couple of links you should look at. The first is our WIKI (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Transgender) where transgender is defined. You might be able to find a label that closely matches what you feel. The second link is "the transition channel" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-KsVjvmLLw) where you can review a series of questions and see if a transition might be appropriate for you.
Depends. If for a short time - a few weeks - just to see if your brain feels more comfortable on E shouldn't do harm. Changes are slower on E before you get to the permanent alterations.
I wouldn't recommend it for any FTM though - changes can be almost immediate for them with no going back.
Like others say here HRT is serious stuff and not something you should play around with.
I did a low(est) dose trial of E only in the summer of 2016 as a final step to help me decide on transition. I always intended for it be a short-term trial, as other factors in my life precluded transition at that time. I planned for a 2-3 months trial, but stopped at 7 weeks as I was starting to see initial physical changes.
For me personally, I did find some positive mental benefits, which formed part of my decision to fully transition; but it was hard stopping when I finished my trial, and had to work through quite an emotional slump.
I did this with correct medical supervision and monitoring, and would have only done it this way.
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