I have been looking into bottom surgery, but I have a lot of time to think so I would like to learn all I can. I don't know much other than the basics.
From what I read, bottom surgery is customizable to the person who wishes to have it, but I have some questions regarding this. Though I know what I'm looking for might change, I wanted to get bottom surgery for sex, and STP purposes. That being said I do like parts of what I have already. If possible I would like to keep the clitoris and opening for sexual purposes, but even saying that I feel like it would make me "less trans" if that makes sense. I guess my problem is that I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or even angry by me wanting to keep aspects of what I have now, or that I don't deserve phalloplasty because I don't hate what I have already.
I hope none of this comes off wrong, I really would just like to learn everything there is to know and clarify the things I don't. I am finding it difficult to find resources where people have open conversations about bottom surgery.
It is definitely possible to keep your original anatomy, both the clitoris and/or the front hole, with phalloplasty. And you are not any less trans for considering, or eventually going through with, phalloplasty with these options. Are you worried about people in the community, or more so outside of the community? Either way, good riddance to anyone who gets angry at you for your anatomy, first of all, and second, just do what feels right for you. No one else should have any sway in that decision.
There are some things you should note about retaining your original anatomy, in relation to your goals for phallo:
- There is a known higher rate of complications related to urethral lengthening (extending the old urethra through the new penis to allow for standing to pee). I spoke with Dr. Chen about this and he said that in the 9 patients who had opted for urethral lengthening without a vaginectomy, 5 had urethral complications, such as fistula or stricture. Another guy I spoke to said that of those with complications, some eventually opted for vaginectomy to help resolve those issues; however, I do not know if this was because the options for resolving their complications were slim otherwise, or because they just decided they wanted UL more than they wanted to keep their original anatomy and said "F it," or any other reason. But I'm sure it wasn't an easy one for them to make.
- You listed use for sex as one of your goals. If you opt for not burying the clitoris (but note that you can decide to do this later, with many surgeons), you will not be able to have nerve hookup to the clitoral nerves, even if you choose a donor site such as RFF or ALT that typically allows for nerve hookup. So any sensation you have will either be from being hooked up to the femoral nerve alone, which will at best allow for tactile sensation, but not erotic—or none at all.
Guys do report having a fulfilling sex life without clitoral burial, but I just want you to know that it'll be a little different than just being able to just get off by rubbing the new phallus, which is often possible with clitoral burial.
- Scrotoplasty is possible without vaginectomy, if you're interested, but you would have to ask your surgeon to make sure that that is something they, personally, are capable of, as it would likely involve a modified technique at the very least. I just figured I'd mention that; I know you didn't mention scrotoplasty but just in case.
And let me know if you have any questions, I'll answer as best I can or point you in the direction of resources that maybe can where I can't/don't have any experience. For reference, I had RFF phalloplasty with Dr. Chen in SF a little over 4 months ago, with scrotoplasty, vaginectomy, nerve hookup, and urethral lengthening. I don't intend on having erectile devices or implants, but I do know a fair bit about them, so I can answer a bit on them, just no personal experience there.
I haven't looked into bottom surgery as of yet as I'm very much undecided; but since hearing about first stage meta is an option it's appealed to me. I'll be able to keep my hole intact; have my dick released (can't penetrate with it but once longer will be more functional in other ways) and ill be able to have urethral lengthening.
I don't hate what I have; I'm not part of the stereotypical ftm narrative where I can imagine a penis down there like a phantom limb. But I think I'd be slightly more comfortable/confident if I had just a few things rearranged rather than going through with phalloplasty. Like cis people; trans people have different levels of comfort within their body.