Hello all,
I am just curious, but has anyone ever stated to someone, or multiple people, that they are male and also pointed out that they are a feminized male? As opposed to saying the more widely herd "I am female" or "I identify as female" / "I am male on the outside, but inside I know I am a woman", etc, etc, and so on. Essentially, like, stating that one is male, making it a point, but also stating that one wants to have, and has, the full feminization effect of hormones at all levels, physical, mental, spiritual. Basically making a point that even though you are feminized you are still a man! And this feels right. Even tough you are quite cute, wear frilly dresses, and can pass as female.
Serious question btw!
I think that flies in the face of the mtf transsexual definition a bit (just mentioning since it's the board the thread is posted in), but is certainly something people who are non-binary or (extremely) non conforming have done. (Not including other non-western cultural views of the issue or potential non-English linguistical differences in which "male" and "female" may not have the same connotation.)
Some students who I teach sometimes comment that, despite my feminine appearance, I am very aggressive. My little daughter is also very aggressive, which makes my friends surprise.
Yes. Of course, everybody is unique, and you do not need to try to fit yourself into any category.
barbie~~
I only ask because I did hear this once from a mtf transgender person who was fully passable. I thought it was an interesting thought and sort of felt it was a little accurate. I sort of feel like that sometimes even though I have been told that I am very passable. Though admittedly I have felt since early child hood that I was like a girl and that I should have been a girl when born. Too bad things don't work out the way you think they should. I guess that this is a very hot topic :(? Is it rather insulting to mtf trans? Why is that? Does it, like, violate or insult the transitioning spirit? Not sure just trying to figure it out. I know gals spent a lot of time and energy trying to pass and not everyone can hit that 100% mark which can be quite distressing.
Fort me personally as self described mtf transsexual, I'm not insulted at all. But I'm not particularly sensitive about that sort of thing to begin with, and am not big on political correctness. My only issue would be a purely literal definition one, and while all of this is self imposed labels anyway, strictly speaking anyone who says "I'm a feminized male" does not line up with the traditional view of being transsexual. (Focusing on that a bit since it's the mtf board.)
Having said that, I can understand where some may find the idea insulting even if I personally don't. There is a not entirely unfounded worry that things like this may provide ammo for the anti-trans crowd, who say we are all just crazy people who are medically altering our bodies but it is impossible to "change" our gender or sex. If someone says they are a feminized male, they play into that narrative in a sense. But at the same time, they have the right to identify however they want in my mind, and just because others may abuse that identification for their own purposes doesn't take that right away.
(Also, I should say I am restricting myself to discussing this in regards to someone who identifies as male but presents in an extremely non conforming way rather than dealing with the non-binary identifications, as I feel like that is more what you meant.)
I would never say that because that's not what I am. I'm not a feminized male. I'm a female born with an incorrect body that I am now correcting.
Quote from: Julia1996 on January 12, 2018, 08:15:59 AM
I would never say that because that's not what I am. I'm not a feminized male. I'm a female born with an incorrect body that I am now correcting.
Same here. Correcting a birth defect if you will.
I'm part male and sought to feminize my body, if that's what you mean.
Hugs, Devlyn
Yes, me too. When I was younger it was fairly easy to pass for "girl next door" pretty. Now it is very obvious that I am Feminized Male. I do enjoy my male parts, everything still works. I do enjoy it when my wife gives me to others, male or female. She likes to show me off and show how she can get me to perform unconventional acts.
If we were all alike, this would be such a boring world!
Pete Burns achieved a very feminine appearance via makeup and then through plastic surgery without identifying as a woman.
Quote from: Julia1996 on January 12, 2018, 01:55:26 PM
Quote from: p on January 12, 2018, 01:49:45 PM
Pete Burns achieved a very feminine appearance via makeup and then through plastic surgery without identifying as a woman.
I had to google Pete burns. OMG! I've never seen anything like that! He doesn't look human. Those lips.........why??!!
Stop that. Using this support site to launch on people is unacceptable.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 12, 2018, 01:57:52 PM
I had to google Pete burns. OMG! I've never seen anything like that! He doesn't look human. Those lips.........why??!!
Stop that. Using this seupport site to launch on people is unacceptable.
I'm sorry. That picture just freaked me out. I went back and looked at some of his older pictures and he was pretty in some of them.
There was a time in my life that femme boy fit and I enjoyed it. I was fighting the trans beast back then as well and this was a kind of compromise. The beast doesn't like compromises though. At least mine doesn't. More fighting till throwing in the towel for transition. "no more fighting" is my mantra now.
Bari Jo
Quote from: Colleen_definitely on January 12, 2018, 08:48:41 AM
Same here. Correcting a birth defect if you will.
Isn't calling it a birth defect a little strong? The way I see it is that the fetus is capable of growing both gender associated sexual structures and also associated intricate organ and brain structures of both sexes. This is a feature made to be there from the start and so it is 'intended' to be there and so capable and also true and correct in the sense that it is not an error (Because it is there to be). This is also interesting in that males regress the female structure for reproduction based on hormonal signaling and genetic expressing YET retains the mmamary capable organs (Or glands?) through out it's life. I feel that if this was not meant to be there then it would simply not be there and instead of the human fetus/body being a mold for both genders (Both have the abilities to growth both structures) then it would have been made to be strictly a male mold or strictly a female mold. Yet it is not!
So I feel that because the body is capable of being both genders that maybe acceptance of our unique double abilities is a good thing.
I think that just a lot of this is lost within society and culture which is interesting because it has to do with the human condition and mental thought process and also the ego self. If we look at it at a more scientific level, yes!, it is a diviation, but because the capability of it being is there then it cannot be an error or a mistake... it is intended!!!
And so because the ability to be both genders is there then it is not an error in my opinion. This also includes the mentally to shift from male to female (Like when some MTF fail and go back to male, and sometimes come back, etc). and behaviours like these are also seen in nature in that some animals can shift from male to female and back.
By itself the fuction is fine, but when we introduce the ego self, culture, and society and complex mental process (Which likely is also intended and thus it is) then we get what we now have.
But it is nice that acceptance is becoming more wide spread :)
QuoteI'm part male and sought to feminize my body, if that's what you mean.
Yes! This is what I mean and this is how I feel. After I started HRT I became part male essentially because now I am also part female :) and quite happy about that.
QuoteYes, me too. When I was younger it was fairly easy to pass for "girl next door" pretty. Now it is very obvious that I am Feminized Male. I do enjoy my male parts, everything still works. I do enjoy it when my wife gives me to others, male or female. She likes to show me off and show how she can get me to perform unconventional acts.
If we were all alike, this would be such a boring world!
It is nice to see that you found someone as accepting and loving as your wife is. Truly you are lucky! :). Are you 100% passable? Do people ever guess you are a feminized male? Or do they just think female unless you let them know otherwise? I wanted to see how many people would still retain that male persona even though on the outside no one would ever guess that they are male.
QuotePete Burns achieved a very feminine appearance via makeup and then through plastic surgery without identifying as a woman
No HRT?
QuoteThere was a time in my life that femme boy fit and I enjoyed it. I was fighting the trans beast back then as well and this was a kind of compromise. The beast doesn't like compromises though. At least mine doesn't. More fighting till throwing in the towel for transition. "no more fighting" is my mantra now.
That is interesting. I can relate as I've had episode of denials too :(, but I feel, like, that I have realized that, really, I am not a regular male, but that I feel that I am female and want to be. I don't like male clothes, but I love female clothes. It is just tough to accept the reality in that I am also male, but like I mentioned before... I think all is just intended and so I am. So, I feel like I should love my selves, both myself! No need for rejection. I hope that strengthens me. Two are better than one, right? Like a big friendship?
I don't believe Burns had HRT but only he would know for sure.
I wouldn't say I'm a man because I don't feel like one, even if like dressing and looking like a man sometimes (a very, feminine and delicate one). I sometimes don't even like stating that I'm a woman.
Quote from: Asakawa on January 12, 2018, 02:32:22 PM
So I feel that because the body is capable of being both genders that maybe acceptance of our unique double abilities is a good thing.
This goes back to the non-binary (or non conforming) versus transsexual definition itself though. For many (not all, but many) transsexual men and women, the physical body of the gender assigned at birth is a mistake, regardless of how fetal development works. When the time came for that binary switch to be flipped, it went the wrong way. In that sense, it is seen as a birth defect, a very literal one.
Most (I'm not sure if by definition all or not) mtf transsexual identifying people such as myself and Julia, have very binary views of ourselves, which through the nature of transgender self identification does tend to preclude any acceptance of a two gender state(non-binary/two-spirit/etc.), and does not consider existing in that state to be a good thing (for us, not in general, as for some it is a very good thing) as it does undermine our binary identification. (Though I typically don't say birth defect myself, and generally try to avoid overthinking the issue, instead focusing on what I want to be not what I was/am. Which is one of the reasons I'm fine for now with people still using male pronouns and what not without it causing any real dysphoria.)
Quote from: p on January 12, 2018, 02:52:50 PM
I don't believe Burns had HRT but only he would know for sure.
He looked so much like a girl before and after surgery. I read the wikipedia page and he said he thought it was scary (Or crazy?) that people thought he looked like a woman. Yet, I see him earing skirts and purses. That is pretty interesting! Sounded like he had a really secluded childhood and spent a lot of time with his mother (Like me!).
QuoteI wouldn't say I'm a man because I don't feel like one, even if like dressing and looking like a man sometimes (a very, feminine and delicate one). I sometimes don't even like stating that I'm a woman.
I feel the same way. Like, how can I really say that I am a man when, really, I don't feel like a regular man. I don't think a man, man, man would want to be a woman. So it all can be quite difficult. We are our own special group :).
So, Roll after stating all of that what do you want to be???
Quote from: Julia1996 on January 12, 2018, 08:15:59 AM
I would never say that because that's not what I am. I'm not a feminized male. I'm a female born with an incorrect body that I am now correcting.
Well quite literally there is nothing male in me, other than my questionable chromosomal status. Rest of me is either ambiguous or female. So nope. Not a feminized male, not one bit :)
Quote from: Asakawa on January 12, 2018, 02:32:22 PM
Isn't calling it a birth defect a little strong?
In my opinion the term birth defect describes my situation perfectly. I'm quite deep into the female end of the spectrum and never wanted the equipment I was issued.
That doesn't mean you can't be ok with what you see yourself as. People are different and some people like being a bit of everything, I'm just not one of those people.
Quote from: Asakawa on January 12, 2018, 03:40:16 PM
So, Roll after stating all of that what do you want to be???
A girl, with or without the trans adjective.
(I should say I use the phrase "want to be" instead of "am" simply in this context as a distinction of physical progress. I don't put much personal stock into an internal male vs female divide in a Cartesian philosophical sense, as I believe I can't say what it feels like to be either a man or a woman, because I don't have the context of the other to compare it with and I generally don't like to declare absolutes I am not truly absolute about. As such, I consider myself simply me, whatever that may and choose not to dwell on what it means to "feel" x gender. However I know that in order to match how I feel I "should" look physically in the core of my being, I need to transition physically. As such, I am a bit agnostic on my internal feeling of gender but believe that all signs point it to being female if such an internal distinction does exist as many believe it does. Simple version: To be happy and live life I need to present binary female, and anything beyond that is academic in my mind and I try not to dwell on it besides speaking of it in the abstract philosophical sense.)
I have never met anyone exactly like that but if I did I doubt that I would be offended or anything. I have 2 friends that call themselves tomboys. One who transitioned and one a cis female and both of them really identify with that. I know one girl who identifies as a tough girl, she is great, not completely passable but works hard at it and EVERYONE just takes her for what she presents. There was an amazing drag performer at the last pride event, when I talked to him, he said that he loved being pretty, the glamor of dressing and putting on makeup. That it doesn't bother him if people think he is a girl sometimes but he never felt like a girl and would never transition.
People take their identifiers very seriously. Christians, liberals, elitists, hillbillies, stubborn, flexible, spontaneous, and the list goes on and on. Male and female. They can get touchy about it too. I identify as female, it doesn't take anything away from me if someone identifies as male but looks more female than me. Do I understand the way some people identify themselves? No, not even a little but it doesn't bother me either, we don't have to be best friends after all. Hahaha, I do actually have a bestie like that though. We were Skyping, I was cooking and she was busy cutting lengths of rope. She looked so funny with her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth a little, a tape measure, a knife and a bunch of rope scattered around the living room, I finally had to ask what in the world she was doing. She said that her bondage class teacher was very specific about rope length. I thought that she was submissive but apparently even they need to learn the ropes. 😉 I don't get that whole thing but I don't love her any less because of it.
We can be a little tolerant right? I do believe that for TRANSSEXUALS like me the battle is not gaining acceptance, but getting people to see the distinction between us and the greater transgender umbrella. That doesn't mean we have to be intolerant though. Being accepting for us should be so much easier but sadly that is not always true.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 12, 2018, 12:25:08 PM
I'm part male and sought to feminize my body, if that's what you mean.
Hugs, Devlyn
That is me too. It took a lot for me to admit (to myself) that I needed to be feminized yet still identify as male.
I'm keeping my beard but plan on losing another 15-30 pounds to get my weight down to 150 or 160 so I look even more feminine in my maleness.
The orchie will be my final step to feminization.
We are all different and we need to identify who we are and then go for that completion in what or how we need to look.
I have been fighting this for 55 years and now that the journey has started, I wonder why I took so long?
I have to admit that transition would have been far less acceptable 40 years ago.
We are living in much better times for us all.
AJ
Quote from: FinallyMichelle on January 12, 2018, 05:21:55 PM
She said that her bondage class teacher was very specific about rope length. I thought that she was submissive but apparently even they need to learn the ropes. 😉 I don't get that whole thing but I don't love her any less because of it.
Wait... bondage class is a thing? Wha... I... wait. ... What? ... I'm going to wander over here for a bit, I have to process this.
... I wonder what the grading curve is like.
These are all incredible responses! I am glad I asked. I was hesitant at first, but I was wondering if there were more people that felt the same way as I did. I still have a lot to learn, but I am glad that there are so many people that are open about this sort of thing :). I'm glad I was not yelled at since it kind of was a controversial question.
As someone who identifies with having breasts and a vagina (female body), as being sexually female, who would love to be pregnant and bear life (though not ready for full motherhood, but surrogacy would do at least ), and who is drawn into being a wife and girlfriend more, I can't ever agree with that.
When my 1st wife wanted a divorce, I fought for and won custody of my two very young boys.
I was mother and father to them and I enjoyed both roles.
I fought for custody to protect them from things that happened to me when I was under 10 years of age.
My mother is in part, the reason for my need for feminization.
She repeatedly told me that I was supposed to be her girl and then early in my childhood she took a whole bottle of sleeping pills in front of me trying to commit suicide. My childish mind thought that if I got rid of my male junk, she would never try that again.
I am loving the breast development and the testosterone suppression and when the orchie happens in September, I will be a more complete version of myself.
As a single parent for many years, I thought it was horrible when the boys went to their absent Mom's when I was their true Mom.
I hated puberty and saw that as the end of my childhood which I enjoyed because before that, I was the same as girls.
After puberty, I was forced into maleness and all of the mind-crap & physical stuff that men are.
I am a hybrid, an asexual blend of both sexes.
Quote from: Roll on January 12, 2018, 07:55:05 PM
Wait... bondage class is a thing? Wha... I... wait. ... What? ... I'm going to wander over here for a bit, I have to process this.
... I wonder what the grading curve is like.
Yes it is. Tristan uses Shibari to restrain me. It's a form of very elaborate bondage. I asked him how he learned to do it and he did actually take classes for it. I doubt it's offered at the community college but it is a thing. I don't know about the grading curve but when you take the classes you bring a partner to do it on. That would have been his ex. That could be why they broke up. Lol, I'm joking.
Stating myself to be a masculinized female (from the other perspective) would be counter-productive to the whole point of transition. I would be immediately thought of either as a crossdresser, or a non-binary person, or someone who can't "pick a side", and would be afterwards treated like one instead of the goal which is not to be. I know this because both men and women routinely treat tomboys and masculine women as closer to women than men.
The whole point of going through all this rigmarole of transition is to cross to the other side, and not be constantly reminded of the one I came from by others...
Thanks for starting this. It reflects much the same conflict in myself that I am trying to work through. I followed some of you who seem to be in a similar, nonbinary space, hope you don't mind. More later, gotta get going to the snowy mountains!
Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk
Although I am not on HRT, sometimes both men and women admire my beauty as a woman like "You have nice leg lines" and "You are so much slim". But some women add like "You are anyway a man". I feel like I am a kind of faked woman.
I can tell whether a man considers me as a man or a woman by the glitter of his eyes. Women tend to be closer to me physically, sometimes touching me easily and sometimes even grasping my shoulders or hands, once they see me as a woman.
And some women I first meet tend to be blunt and even rude to me, but they suddenly become very kind to me with a big smile with relief, once they hear my low, manly voice. As those women are not jealous of me at all and do not think me as their potential competitor, they like to talk with me. They tend to be more friendly to me than to other women.
Both men and women tend to treat me as a woman, but they know well that I am a man. Also many people assume that I am unmarried, but are surprised when they know I have 3 kids.
I have no objection to people's responses to me, as I think and accept that I am unique. A merit of my uniqueness is that I do not need a name card to introduce myself. People remember me too well. As long as the perception of me is positive, it does not matter so much whether they consider me as a man or a woman.
barbie~~
QuoteMy mother is in part, the reason for my need for feminization.
She repeatedly told me that I was supposed to be her girl and then early in my childhood she took a whole bottle of sleeping pills in front of me trying to commit suicide. My childish mind thought that if I got rid of my male junk, she would never try that again.
That is a very rough childhood. I'm sorry to hear things were like that for you :(. Was ever becoming a girl something that was in you before your mom said anything like that? I'm so happy to hear you were able to keep your children and able to provide them on top of being a double parent for them. That is something not many people can do.
QuoteThe whole point of going through all this rigmarole of transition is to cross to the other side, and not be constantly reminded of the one I came from by others.../quote]
Why is that though? Can't we be proud from where we came from? From the other side? It is kind of our origin too. I wonder, if society as a whole was very accepting and maybe even worshiping of a male transition to a female yet still remaining in a male role... would we still feel the stigma that we feel from 'knowing' where we came from? When we are reminded of it by others?
Quote from: Asakawa on January 13, 2018, 11:25:36 PM
That is a very rough childhood. I'm sorry to hear things were like that for you :(. Was ever becoming a girl something that was in you before your mom said anything like that? I'm so happy to hear you were able to keep your children and able to provide them on top of being a double parent for them. That is something not many people can do.
QuoteThe whole point of going through all this rigmarole of transition is to cross to the other side, and not be constantly reminded of the one I came from by others.../quote]
Why is that though? Can't we be proud from where we came from? From the other side? It is kind of our origin too. I wonder, if society as a whole was very accepting and maybe even worshiping of a male transition to a female yet still remaining in a male role... would we still feel the stigma that we feel from 'knowing' where we came from? When we are reminded of it by others?
My dysphoria is a little different. I actually need to be rid of the testosterone and the testicles. If the testicles are removed along with the scrotum, I will no longer need (or be able) to attack, abuse and try to kill them. I needed to stop 55 years of self-abuse to prevent a possible accident that could cause me to bleed out. Castration will give me the smooth look I need to see between my legs. I love that erections are rare and the sex drive is now controllable.
I hated puberty and the maleness that it brought. I am loving having gotten rid of the male smell by blocking with spiro. My deodorant needs are now far less and I like that. So, in getting rid of the testicles, I need a hormone to protect my mind and bones. Since I hate testosterone, my hormone has to be estrogen which offers the plus of getting some feminine breasts and some estrogen based body changes.
I never fully identified as "one of the boys" and I avoided any kind of "packing up" like animals that boys & men do. That "packing up" causes stupidity and males do things they wouldn't or shouldn't normally do if alone. I was always different and I envied the girls and wanted to play with them. As a boy, I had to fit in with the boys and I was jealous of the few feminine boys who were allowed to act girly and play with the girls.
My world of alcoholic, tough roll model men would never had allowed me to be feminine. I played 4 years of football even though I disliked the roughness of the game. My dad demanded it as he had to have his son involved in that "manly" sport.
I always felt like an outsider, neither accepted by males or females - a lone wolf but a fairly successful one. I was always a leader, probably because I was smart and was possibly perceived as aloof. That aloofness was really my dysphoria of not fitting in. Every place I worked, I was promoted to management so in that respect I had favor by being a male. So, the dysphoria worked to my advantage for most of my life but I would always feel fake and sabotage my success.
On my hormone regimen, I feel women are nicer to and more open me. I fell more comfortable when interacting with cis-women. My concentration is much improved as my ADD symptoms are lessened quite a bit. I wrote a book about my life, my counselors have all read it and tell me it explains a lot. I have a sequel to it in process. I hope it sells well as the proceeds will go toward helping others like us.
AJ
I identify as myself, labels are really subjective and I find confining. I used to try to find something I could be part of, changing myself to fit in better as that label and ultimately failed and felt miserable. The label "man" does not fit me, I have been informed multiple times how it does not apply to me. Men are supposed to do this, men are supposed to do that, and of course the guilt from others to try to force me into that label. I have grown tired of it.
Being a woman comes with it's own host of demands in our society, some of which I could never fulfill (chromosome argument) and likewise it is a label that would be confining to me, I know people would say real women do such and such, behave in such and such a way, and just as I have been doing all of my life, I would have to put on a mask to fill this society's version of what a woman is.
I am not excitable enough to be considered effeminate, most of my emotions have been covered by a stoic mask to conceal them out of fear. It is pretty noticeable by most people, I am like a statue until they have gained my trust.
I don't get upset by how people wish to identify themselves, for example if a white person wants to identify as black (or vise vera), I don't go into a fit of rage, demanding they stay within the confines of their socially accepted race. I don't get upset at otherkins, and try to put them in their place. If someone wants to identify as a feminized male, then all of the power to them. None of these people's identity have any impact on me.
I'm exhausted from a life of trying to fit in with others, as something I am not. I want to be a woman on a physical level, it is a primal desire that exists, almost as though if there were a soul it is as though it were placed in the wrong body. Something that is incredibly hard for me to express, much like any emotion is difficult to explain down to it's roots and origins. I don't know of any label that encompasses it fully, transsexual works on a certain level because it is vague enough to fit me.
I'm really not sure, identity really confuses me at times. The way people use identity labels to control one another's behavior bothers me, I like to think we are all individuals, with a lot of different traits, none of us quite fit into any label perfectly. In my mind, if the world were stripped of identity labels, there would be a lot less demand on all of us, and people would be more free to be themselves without others telling them how a real <label> does such and such ;) But, I'm kind of weird like that.
Sorry for the ultra long, pointless post.
Quote from: zamber74 on January 14, 2018, 09:30:15 AM
I identify as myself, labels are really subjective and I find confining. I used to try to find something I could be part of, changing myself to fit in better as that label and ultimately failed and felt miserable. The label "man" does not fit me, I have been informed multiple times how it does not apply to me. Men are supposed to do this, men are supposed to do that, and of course the guilt from others to try to force me into that label. I have grown tired of it.
.....
Sorry for the ultra long, pointless post.
Not pointless at all. I find your response and logic enlightening. When we drop the "tags" of life and how we are supposed to act or look, we then become whole, genuine and who we are.
Thank you..
Quote from: barbie on January 13, 2018, 07:48:25 PM
Although I am not on HRT, sometimes both men and women admire my beauty as a woman like "You have nice leg lines" and "You are so much slim". But some women add like "You are anyway a man". I feel like I am a kind of faked woman.
I can tell whether a man considers me as a man or a woman by the glitter of his eyes. Women tend to be closer to me physically, sometimes touching me easily and sometimes even grasping my shoulders or hands, once they see me as a woman.
And some women I first meet tend to be blunt and even rude to me, but they suddenly become very kind to me with a big smile with relief, once they hear my low, manly voice. As those women are not jealous of me at all and do not think me as their potential competitor, they like to talk with me. They tend to be more friendly to me than to other women.
Both men and women tend to treat me as a woman, but they know well that I am a man. Also many people assume that I am unmarried, but are surprised when they know I have 3 kids.
I have no objection to people's responses to me, as I think and accept that I am unique. A merit of my uniqueness is that I do not need a name card to introduce myself. People remember me too well. As long as the perception of me is positive, it does not matter so much whether they consider me as a man or a woman.
barbie~~
You look so much like a real woman Barbie and you are not even on HRT. Is there any reason why you have not started a HRT regimen? I think you look great as is. I think that all the compliments you get are fully deserved because you have a feminine body. Since you are not on HRT does that mean you usually use forms for bras? I'm just curious sorry to ask. It's nice to see that you are so accepting of yourself and that you have a feminine body :). Also, the behavior from women that you receive is really interesting. I think you are very lucky to be in a position that let's you see so many things in a different perspective!
QuoteOn my hormone regimen, I feel women are nicer to and more open me. I fell more comfortable when interacting with cis-women. My concentration is much improved as my ADD symptoms are lessened quite a bit. I wrote a book about my life, my counselors have all read it and tell me it explains a lot. I have a sequel to it in process. I hope it sells well as the proceeds will go toward helping others like us.
It's nice to hear that your transition is helping you love yourself more than you would have otherwise done so. Your life story sounds very tragic it's always sad that people's life can be so difficult sometimes. I think all our lives have difficulty, but some have it very rough. This kind of reminds me of my ex-gf and how after I shared with her that I was trans she said that she did not want to hear the whole story because she knew that tans live's tend to be very tragic. Funny, because she always shared with me all of her troubles with her family and friends and I always listened.
I really hope your book helps others in a similar situation that need help AJ :).
I identify as female; it defines me. I stated I was male for a period of my life because I was made to or was afraid to be me, but that time is gone.
I have a few friends that are they. They explain being both male and female genders. Sort of orbiting around two planets, one male and the other female. Both are MTF and had GCS, breasts and long hair and wore female cloths. They would explain using the men's room and not taking HRT for a while as feeling they identified as male during that period. It was tough on them as they look female and had changed all their documents.
The trainer I use to go to is Madam Midge. She is a really tough trainer and would school you if you wanted that experience; I do not. Although I never have been exposed to it so perhaps it would be a good experience.
When I looked at pics of Peter I could feel his pain coming though the pics. At least that is my perception of the pics as time passed.
If someone wants to identify as male and feminize go for it.
Quote from: Asakawa on January 14, 2018, 01:33:16 PM
Is there any reason why you have not started a HRT regimen?
Yes. It happened about 8 years ago.
The surgeon is very famous here as he has successfully conducted SRS for several hundred patients.
After talking with me for about 15 mins, he said he can not prescribe HRT for me without approval of my wife, because I said clearly to him 1) I do not want divorce, 2) my kids are the most important object in my life.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,71775.0.html
barbie~~
Do they even give you hormones if you say you're male? I doubt it.
This is probably a very controversial and taboo topic but I think cisgender people should be able to have GRS.
As a mtf, I know it's hard to be a woman. Sometimes I passively think it would be easier if I stayed a boy. I'd still want a vagina but then I'd also want long hair and a feminine face lol
I just get it. Even as a "boy" I wanted a vagina. Only recent maybe in the past 2 years or so I started wearing makeup. I still don't like makeup much. I do like being feminine but the attention from men is really crazy. I'm not saying I'm the most attractive but it can be a lot sometimes.
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Quote from: Allison S on January 15, 2018, 04:10:52 AM
This is probably a very controversial and taboo topic but I think cisgender people should be able to have GRS.
Depends on if you are saying that from a matter of legality or a matter of medical ethics. I definitely don't think there should be any part of the legal code saying cis people can't get SRS, and that sort of thing should never be codified.
The bigger thing though is that it would be extremely irresponsible for the doctor performing SRS on a cis patient. Think about it like this... As a physician, their oath is to above all do no harm. If a patient comes into their office and says one day they want start chemo, but they don't have cancer, that doesn't just happen in a void. Something is going on there, most likely some sort of severe psychological disorder. It is the doctor's job to recognize this, and seek to find the real solution, not just say "Okay, let's get you pumped full of stuff that could kill a horse!". A person who is purely cis (ie: no trans indications whatsoever other than wanting SRS) may ask for SRS, but what they really might need is an anti-psychotic. A lot of times it is up a physician to protect a patient from themselves. (Of course that's a fine line to stuff like gatekeeping, but a lot of that can be solved by second opinions. If someone goes to one doctor and the doctor says no, then another doctor and that one says yes (and a third would have said yes, and a forth, etc.) that's bad on the first doctor's part probably. But if someone goes to all of those doctors and they all say no, that's good because it means they are most likely recognizing something the patient is not, instead of just casually agreeing to a life altering surgery they will for sure regret within 5 seconds of waking up on account of not being trans.)
(This also presumes though that you aren't trans simply for wanting SRS to begin with. I think that if you want SRS and it isn't driven by some sort of psychosis, you're trans by any definition, making it a logical impossibility for a cis person to want SRS. Though I guess this also presumes we're talking voluntary SRS... because, yeah. ;D)
Ever heard if castration as a fetish? For cisgender men that's basically a step down fron SRS. I met a guy that had SRS after castrating his penis to the point it had to be removed. He loved his vagina when we met and was showing it off even. Yes he did say he's a guy with a vagina.
I agree I think this is a tricky topic. But I disagree with suggesting they need an antipsychotic. I'm not comparing this to being a binary trans person, but anyone could say we need an antipsychotic too.
I think needing the RLE before SRS is good but even when I'm in "guy mode" I know I would prefer a vagina. What's the point of my penis if I want nothing to do with it? A vagina would be more comfortable and pleasurable emotionally and sexually. Just using myself as a hypothetical example, though I could see the appeal of being non binary with a vagina.
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Quote from: Allison S on January 15, 2018, 09:17:58 AM
Ever heard if castration as a fetish? For cisgender men that's basically a step down fron SRS. I met a guy that had SRS after castrating his penis to the point it had to be removed. He loved his vagina when we met and was showing it off even. Yes he did say he's a guy with a vagina.
I agree I think this is a tricky topic. But I disagree with suggesting they need an antipsychotic. I'm not comparing this to being a binary trans person, but anyone could say we need an antipsychotic too.
I think needing the RLE before SRS is good but even when I'm in "guy mode" I know I would prefer a vagina. What's the point of my penis if I want nothing to do with it? A vagina would be more comfortable and pleasurable emotionally and sexually. Just using myself as a hypothetical example, though I could see the appeal of being non binary with a vagina.
Self castration with SRS as a medical fix later is a little bit different as a medical scenrio. Remember, it's not just about the patient's needs, its also about the doctor's ethical duty, and for a doctor to be the one doing the castrating versus a fix later is fairly different. (Going back to the above all do no harm thing.) (Though also, I'd say at that point he is under the trans umbrella whether he likes it or not.)
And I didn't mean to say that anyone in that scenario would be psychotic, just was saying they
might need an anti-psychotic, simply as a reference to one of many possible causes that should be addressed instead of simply performing the surgery.
And while there may be fetish type stuff, or other scenarios in which someone who isn't identifying as something besides their birth assigned gender seeks that surgery, I would still say they fall under transgender inherently even without that. Drag queens/crossdressers identify as male, but are transgender because of breaking gender norms and crossing the social boundaries for instance. Having SRS even if identifying as birth gender would be no different. By that token I do go back to the issue of seeking SRS for its own sake (not psychosis/ocd/other issue) as being transgender inherently, thus meaning that a healthy/stable cis person wouldn't seek SRS and thus if a truly cis person does, then the cause of that should be addressed instead of granting the SRS.
Last August I set up an appointment with Dr. Arnkoff and then made the mistake of telling my GP about it.
One week later I was seeing a psychiatrist with the GP's hope of putting me on some kind of ant-depression drug.
After a couple of sessions with the psychiatrist, she told me that there was "no way" that I needed anti-depressants, I simply needed to find a gender therapist.
I found a good gender therapist and now am a month into my spiro and estro regimen.
I also have an appointment with a plastic surgeon to remove the testes and scrotum which were what I have been attacking/abusing for 55 years.
The orchi/scrotumectomy appointment that will be paid for my Medicare is scheduled for early next fall with 11 months of hormone therapy completed by then.
So far, being on the spiro and estro has made me almost complete.
Once the orchie is done, I will be where I have always wanted to be.
So, in a convoluted way, The GP did me a favor by accelerating my diagnosis and treatment.
Quote from: JMJW on January 15, 2018, 01:22:00 AM
Do they even give you hormones if you say you're male? I doubt it.
Well, I told my doctor that I was neither a man nor a woman, I embraced my male side but wanted to feminize my body. I had my hormones a week later.
Hugs, Devlyn
If you are at the age of consent and your genitals and or body gives you discomfort, prolonged, and changing yourself would remove the discomfort then by all means it needs to be done.
I had FFS, GCS and a BA; also 2 rounds of hair grafts and now vocal surgery with no regret. I was a bit apprehensive with the FFS because I knew it was a forever thing and that what I was doing would alter how others saw me going forward and open myself up to discrimination and loss of my family.
If I identified as a guy and wanted those procedures the only one that required letters was the GCS and a letter for FFS. So, I guess going to a gender therapist would help.
In my opinion, if a person identifies as male and is assigned male at birth and wants feminization procedures (FFS, BA and GCS and variations) then I would put them on the trans spectrum.
My suggestion for bondage class grades:
If they get loose, F
If they can still walk, D
Red marks persist over one hour, C
Can be suspended, B
Attain orgasm, A
Quote from: Jin on January 16, 2018, 03:11:39 PM
My suggestion for bondage class grades:
If they get loose, F
They can have workshops with the Stage Magic class next door and have it be the escape artistry exam for them as well. One class shall win, one class shall lose.
Quote from: Julia1996 on January 13, 2018, 08:00:14 AM
Yes it is. Tristan uses Shibari to restrain me. It's a form of very elaborate bondage. I asked him how he learned to do it and he did actually take classes for it. I doubt it's offered at the community college but it is a thing. I don't know about the grading curve but when you take the classes you bring a partner to do it on. That would have been his ex. That could be why they broke up. Lol, I'm joking.
Shibari is awesome! We should start a thread and do some (clothed) ties. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 16, 2018, 06:15:31 PM
Shibari is awesome! We should start a thread and do some (clothed) ties. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
I played cats cradle as a child, does that count? [emoji23]
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Being serious, and with regard to the OP, I present fairly feminine (typical for a Cis woman of my age, career and location).
Mentally I don't feel male or female, though closer to female.
Fourty years living as a male, I have a male mind-set and confidence that I have no intention of changing.
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Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 15, 2018, 10:57:15 AM
Well, I told my doctor that I was neither a man nor a woman, I embraced my male side but wanted to feminize my body. I had my hormones a week later.
Hugs, Devlyn
I told my doctor I was a man and a woman and I had hormones a week later.
I've often stated the opposite - that I am not male, and leave the rest to be defined by the person who asked the questions...
:)
Rowan
I personally could never call myself a "feminized male." But if you can, more power to you! I have always been, and always will be a woman. I do on occasion refer to myself as trans, however I feel the best way to describe me is exactly how I am! A unique woman named Alexis! <3
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Now that I am a month into spiro and estrodial, my mind thinks differently.
I feel more feminine as my breasts are developing and the testosterone is shut down.
I wanted perky, smaller breasts but a month in, I am already half-way to what I wanted to end up with.
I think I am going to have a hard time hiding these beautiful things growing on my chest pretty soon.
I love taking showers now and feeling them, caressing and soaping them up as this is very feminine to me.
After the orchie I hope to feel even more feminine as I hate having that baggage down there.
Don't know if I'll ever feel fully a woman, but I really do like the breast growth and the way my mind is working these days.
I know I will be a lot better off being gender neutral and leaning more toward the female side of things.
I am walking a lot and using my weight machine every other day in the hopes that I can look female underneath my baggy clothing.
My marriage, kids and grandkids will prevent me from "coming out" but inside and at bedtime with my nightie on I can crawl into my inner self.
I still call myself male. Out of habit really and I think even after/ if I transitIon it'll be a fight with myself to not call myself male.
It's a learned habit.
As for being a feminine man, I am not sure I am.
If anything I look like a man with male social skills and a female brain.
Hopefully this isn't considered too old a thread, yet...
I'm well past the half century mark and have, basically, always considered myself androgynous or andro-feminine (whether others did or not). Lately I've adopted the term androgynist, which I think works well. I don't have to be feminine. I just am because it is something I love.
As for public appearances, I vary things according to occasion. But, hey, we all have to wear a dress once in a while, don't we?
My main motivation for commenting on this thread is that my wonderful Susan's friend Barbie made a comment that may be as cool a post as I've ever read here. She has a great attitude about herself and life and we could probably all stand to re-read it:
Quote from: barbie on January 13, 2018, 07:48:25 PM
Although I am not on HRT, sometimes both men and women admire my beauty as a woman like "You have nice leg lines" and "You are so much slim". But some women add like "You are anyway a man". I feel like I am a kind of faked woman.
I can tell whether a man considers me as a man or a woman by the glitter of his eyes. Women tend to be closer to me physically, sometimes touching me easily and sometimes even grasping my shoulders or hands, once they see me as a woman.
And some women I first meet tend to be blunt and even rude to me, but they suddenly become very kind to me with a big smile with relief, once they hear my low, manly voice. As those women are not jealous of me at all and do not think me as their potential competitor, they like to talk with me. They tend to be more friendly to me than to other women.
Both men and women tend to treat me as a woman, but they know well that I am a man. Also many people assume that I am unmarried, but are surprised when they know I have 3 kids.
I have no objection to people's responses to me, as I think and accept that I am unique. A merit of my uniqueness is that I do not need a name card to introduce myself. People remember me too well. As long as the perception of me is positive, it does not matter so much whether they consider me as a man or a woman.
barbie~~
Quote from: Lyric on January 29, 2018, 07:48:54 PM
Hopefully this isn't considered too old a thread, yet...
I'm well past the half century mark and have, basically, always considered myself androgynous or andro-feminine (whether others did or not). Lately I've adopted the term androgynist, which I think works well. I don't have to be feminine. I just am because it is something I love.
As for public appearances, I vary things according to occasion. But, hey, we all have to wear a dress once in a while, don't we?
My main motivation for commenting on this thread is that my wonderful Susan's friend Barbie made a comment that may be as cool a post as I've ever read here. She has a great attitude about herself and life and we could probably all stand to re-read it:
Quote from: barbie on January 13, 2018, 07:48:25 PM
Although I am not on HRT, sometimes both men and women admire my beauty as a woman like "You have nice leg lines" and "You are so much slim". But some women add like "You are anyway a man". I feel like I am a kind of faked woman.
I can tell whether a man considers me as a man or a woman by the glitter of his eyes. Women tend to be closer to me physically, sometimes touching me easily and sometimes even grasping my shoulders or hands, once they see me as a woman.
And some women I first meet tend to be blunt and even rude to me, but they suddenly become very kind to me with a big smile with relief, once they hear my low, manly voice. As those women are not jealous of me at all and do not think me as their potential competitor, they like to talk with me. They tend to be more friendly to me than to other women.
Both men and women tend to treat me as a woman, but they know well that I am a man. Also many people assume that I am unmarried, but are surprised when they know I have 3 kids.
I have no objection to people's responses to me, as I think and accept that I am unique. A merit of my uniqueness is that I do not need a name card to introduce myself. People remember me too well. As long as the perception of me is positive, it does not matter so much whether they consider me as a man or a woman.
barbie~~
I agree! Great words from Barbie, we can all take value from them. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Lyric on January 29, 2018, 07:48:54 PM
My main motivation for commenting on this thread is that my wonderful Susan's friend Barbie made a comment that may be as cool a post as I've ever read here. She has a great attitude about herself and life and we could probably all stand to re-read it:
Hi, Lyric, again.
Yes. We are old friends here.
Nowadays I have been more active in Facebook. Surprisingly many people read and watch my Facebook postings and photos.
Last Friday, I happened to be in a fund-raising dinner event for a kind of "green party". Dozens of local people were there and a young woman approached me, saying that she knows me well. I have never met most of the people there before. She seemed to want to chat with me, but I have other guests I should talk with. Women tend to treat me like a kind of celebrity here, and some men, too.
Unfortunately I did not wear any makeup, just wearing a dull winter jacket and plain leggings, because it has been a snowy winter and I have mostly stayed at home. I have been in hibernation mode, but hope that I did not disappoint some people in the event.
barbie~~