I realize this is hard but how does it make the other people feel? My family really just consists of two or three people. As far as friends go I had really bad depression moved and lost touch. I can speak very matter of fact: I have traits of aspbergers but I can also be a good salesman provided I know what is appropriate. It used to be really bad when I was a teenager. Back then other people were mre like objects and I couldn't empathise at all but I learned how then it came naturally but in some social situations I either don't know what to do or Im totally not aware I'm doing something wrong.
It really depends on what kind of relationship you have with your family members and what kind of people they are.
You only have to read the coming out stories here to see the vast range of possible reactions. Coming out is all about managing the reactions. If we didn't have to consider reactions, coming out would be easy: you'd just tell them, and if they had a problem with it, drop them. But we can't easily drop family, so we have to take into account how they will react.
When coming out, plan ahead how you think they are most likely to react. Since you often can't predict their reactions, consider a range of possibilities. If you think that the reaction might be abusive, plan for your own safety: that may be a situation where a phone call or email might be better than telling them in person.
If the person is someone you do not need in your life, their reaction is less important. If they are important in your life , you will need to anticipate any problems they may have and try to soften the blow by including information that might help them react more favourably.
My two brothers are the only family I have. I'd like to keep them in my life if I can, though I could live without them if my safety was at risk. Both live far away, so I told them by email. One brother I knew would be accepting and supportive, so I just said, "Surprise! This is my coming-out letter. No, I'm not gay, I am transgender."
The other brother, I was much less certain about. In fact, I expected a negative response. So, I wrote a longer letter, explaining a bit about my personal history, then explaining about the science behind being trans, before I even mentioned the T-word. I wanted to be sure to cover that this was a medical condition, that it was not a choice, and that my treatment was medically-supervised in response to a diagnosis. As it turned out, he was supportive after all. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
With a spouse, the stakes are higher. I knew I had to tell her first, and that I had to tell her face-to-face. Again, I had to plan for the worst. "Worst" looked to be pretty bad, and it took me monthe to build up the courage to tell her. But, eventually, I was prepared to accept "worst" if it happened. It turned out that she became my biggest supporter.
Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
It can be mixed. My brother pretends the conversation never happened, my mum ignores my requests to drop the male pronouns and things I need to be check in case Im just 'obsessed with the subject.' My Dad doesnt even know.
Quote from: Lexi Nexi on January 12, 2018, 01:13:56 PM
I realize this is hard but how does it make the other people feel? My family really just consists of two or three people. As far as friends go I had really bad depression moved and lost touch. I can speak very matter of fact: I have traits of aspbergers but I can also be a good salesman provided I know what is appropriate. It used to be really bad when I was a teenager. Back then other people were mre like objects and I couldn't empathise at all but I learned how then it came naturally but in some social situations I either don't know what to do or Im totally not aware I'm doing something wrong.
When coming out as transgender, be honest and yourself. And some other advices, push forward and never ever give up. No good with advices, the other ones posting before me have come with great advice.
Here is one of the best explanations I have seen. Vincent is FTM but the explanation is still spot on. There is one letter to each parent and can be adapted for other interested party's. https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,104243.msg780226.html#msg780226
Those letters are so well wrote, i think everyone going through this should read them even if theyll do it face to face
Quote from: jaybutterfly on January 12, 2018, 07:31:33 PM
It can be mixed. My brother pretends the conversation never happened, my mum ignores my requests to drop the male pronouns and things I need to be check in case Im just 'obsessed with the subject.' My Dad doesnt even know.
Thats just mean. My family doesn't even see what the big deal is. I would hate being called he if I looked and acted like a she. I don't mind it so much now but when I look more female then mle and change my name that would be bother some.