I really like cars, video-games and many stereotypical "male things". I feel strongly that my body should be a woman, with dysphoria ranging from discomfort to outright hate of lower half and facial/body hair among other things. I am having trouble squaring my interests with my feelings on my body.
Is anybody else dealing with problems like this and how did you resolve them?
Any tips for figuring this out more or other resources that might help?
There's nothing wrong with girls liking cars, video-games, etc. Women can do anything.
On the other hand, I have noticed since I have been on HRT, that my interest in such pursuits has decreased considerably.
Quote from: KathyLauren on January 17, 2018, 03:28:30 PM
There's nothing wrong with girls liking cars, video-games, etc. Women can do anything.
On the other hand, I have noticed since I have been on HRT, that my interest in such pursuits has decreased considerably.
I've noticed the same thing. My interest in sports has declined or at least changed to other ones. I still play video games but not as much as I used to. Interests are interests, hobbies are hobbies. It doesn't matter what gender does it as long as one enjoys them.
Have a look at the YouTube channel "a Girl for all seasons"
https://www.youtube.com/user/Charlie247Girl/videos
She's seriously into cars and you can't possibly doubt she's a women.
This is a conundrum for me as well. I've had very few interests or hobbies throughout my life, I'm kinda boring - but my main things have been Pokemon, Dr Who, Zelda - virgin boy stuff. But what helps me is to see my interests in those things in a somehow "feminine" light - e.g. I love this Pokemon, it's so cute! (That sounds like a very simplistic "girls are shallow" shorthand for things, but actually it's just misogyny that suggests that loving a Pokemon for being "cute" is somehow shallow.)
If specifically the video games and cars thing bothers you, then check out Girl for all Seasons (for the cars) and Stef Sanjati (for video games) on Youtube. (Stef has World of Warcraft necklaces and things) There's also an ultra feminine trans youtuber called Zoey Alexandria who said in one of her vids, "I've spent two hours this morning playing Pokemon in my room." So.......yeah!
EDIT: lol, someone already mentioned Charlie (Girl for all Seasons). She seems to be a go-to!
J xx
Im a competitive judo fighter, former powerlifter and national level sprinter. I was an all around athlete who is now focused on judo and karate specifically.
Im the last person anyone would expect to be trans in my community.
Youre not alone with this
This concerned me too for a while. I'm an artist, but my media is in the computer, machining and forging in metal. These are typically male behaviors, but I wouldn't change anything. If I did I would be a different person. My sister was worried about me changing too. Nope staying the same. I think you will have no issues having the same interests.
Bari Jo
I love knives, guns, military equipment, getting sideways driving.....and pink nails. :laugh:
I like working out and eating a lot. So, nothing's changed.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I still love baseball and football and just about every other sport there is. Wanting to try to coach after I transition but will have to see how transition goes and how much I can pass.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I still will be the one doing the honey do lists at our house. I just built a greenhouse in the backyard, because I'm the one that does that stuff.
Ride a Harley Sportster & love it! Though sneered at as a girl's bike I see more women riding Big Twins presumably because of the lower seat height
I guess i am mostly Androgynous atm more but always skewed slightly more feminine while trying to present more masculine
Ive never really been into boyish things too much, cars, girls (like how men are you know?), fighting.... sports (i had a flirtation with a sport for awhile, but it wasnt really a masculine sport LOL)
I havent really experiment too much in feminine things, ive only really flirted with make up but i did like it
I find things like video games and watching tv kind of Androgynous IMO, i dont really ship much in tv shows, ill sometimes switch between male and female names for video games, i guess i do tend to watch shows more like super hero/sci fi/action type shows, ive never really watched many Romancec moves/tv shows
When I first started considering transitioning I was a bit perturbed by the idea that I might not be feminine enough too. I don't talk or walk or look like a woman and my interests are mostly male skewing pass times like video games (700 hours Warframe, 350 hours Witcher 3, untold hours Skyrimming, BoTW, Stardew, Mario and that's just this year).
Anyway I would ask myself everyday if it still felt right. If I still wanted HRT, breasts, wear women's clothing full time and get sex reassignment surgery. And the answer was always yes.
Shopping for women's clothes became a new hobby. SRS soon became my greatest desire. I found myself increasingly cognizant of how much I hated having male genitals. I let myself daydream more and more often how nice it would be to feel right down there. I also allowed myself to fantasize about making love to a man as a woman and this never became unpleasant.
These are all things I previously worked very hard to suppress. I'm now less concerned with how well I pass as I am in just being comfortable with myself.
I guess what I'm trying to advise is that if you let it all sink in and don't fight it you might find more reasons to consider transitioning and to have your current reasons reinforced.
A Girl for All Seasons really is a great person to check out on YouTube. She's kinda my role model.
Sorry for the long windedness. Best of luck.
Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
I know the feeling! I love cars, video games, airsoft, and many more stereotypical masculine things. However, I know I'm female, and also prefer very feminine clothing.
Sent from my Z799VL using Tapatalk
In all of my outdoor and indoor hobbies I've met women doing them. Diving, gaming, airsoft/paintball, archery, potholing, climbing, painting models. In my computing degree there were women, I befriended them so I know they were just as into the subject and having fun or trying things out as I was. It was a female friend who got tickets to a guys and girls' airsoft event and got me into it in the first place. There are women doing these things, don't worry about it.
Just yesterday a female friend of mine took up making and painting Warhammer figures and posted them to Facebook. If you're into something, just do it.
Since everyone is making YouTube recommendations, let me suggest one for Facebook. It's a page called Nerds with Vaginas. Really funny and it's always a joy to see the stuff they post. Plus they are big supporters of Castle Corsetry which I plan to get a few after I get further along in my transition.
Nerds with Vaginas. Check it out.
I am at an age where I don't care what other people might say about my maleness.
Although not completely out yet I am sure soon I will be.
So I will not be selling my auto repair business I will not stop building and driving race cars nor will I not not build the tiny house I plan to live in someday.
I will just look alot prettier doing it.
I've never bought into the idea that a transwoman should give up hobbies and interests that are considered " masculine". I don't have many "masculine" interests. All I know about cars is how to drive them, I've never been interested in video games and sports is the biggest sleeping pill on the planet. However I do love sci-fi and my sense of humor is considered a bit masculine by some people. And yes, I like the three stooges and find them hilarious. ( gasp! Turn in your female membership card Julia! ) I don't care. I'm not going to give up anything I like because a girl isn't supposed to like it. Being trans takes so much away from us. It doesn't need to take away hobbies and interests we love too.
I will add this for those girls who still worry about having male interests. My brother dated a girl who's dad owned a garage. She knew everything about cars and would even help my dad and brother work on the car they are restoring. She also liked football. My dad and my brother's friends thought she was the coolest thing ever. She was very feminine and pretty too. You can still be a girl and have " masculine" interests.
My wife (cis woman) does all the 'motorcycle, dirt bike, and associated' stuff. I do most honey-do maintenance. Not due to any perceived gender roles. Simply because when she was growing up she wasn't taught 'girls don't do that'. I show her what I can. If she enjoys 'masculine/male/boy' perceived pursuits then why not?
I have never been one to pigeon-hole anyone into specific roles. You know what you know, you like what you like, you learn what you have to.
I like fast cars, pickup trucks, and motorcycles. I can work on them too. I like to shoot competitively and do all my own work on my guns as well as load my own match ammo. I can weld, run machine tools, fix plumbing, work on electrical stuff, and am the unofficial family IT person. But I'm also quite good in the kitchen, like pretty things, like looking pretty, am good at decorating, and most of the other stereotypical girly stuff. I play the occasional video game, am a total sci fi geek, but can't stand watching sports.
The thing is I'm friends with several cis women who are just like me in these regards. So I say embrace it. Specializing based on gender is for insects.
I collect comic books and the like. I have several guns and when I get extra $, I'll usually go out and buy another. I love driving fast, play video games (I have 3 consoles) when I have time. I cook, love tech, heavy metal and NASCAR. All of those things will not change.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Interests should not be controlled by gender. Think Danica Patrick.
Quote from: Jin on January 18, 2018, 12:38:35 PM
Interests should not be controlled by gender. Think Danica Patrick.
This. (https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180118/8b24999f4117df784c471d046ebf14a3.jpg)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
While I like cars, and snowmobiles...Nobody has mentioned fishing?
Quote from: natasha on January 18, 2018, 08:44:15 PM
While I like cars, and snowmobiles...Nobody has mentioned fishing?
My wife loves fishing! About 100% more than I do. Haha. See? Even cis women can like stuff. :)
My wife liked fishing too. I never liked it much myself and always felt a little bad sticking hooks through worms and minnows.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm one of the highest ranked longsword fighters on North America and pretty high up in the world overall. It's actually delayed my transition a bit due to wanting the advantages of testosterone. Going to see about starting HRT soon, though.
I love video games but not ones that are violent. Mostly story driven and a little bit cartoony! Like Rayman and some RPGs. I love age of mythology as well so that's pretty teenage boyish! I've always found them a great place to leave reality behind.
For sports I tried to fit into that mold but I can't. Watching is the dullest thing ever and I never really enjoyed playing them. Working out is great fun and I try to work out everyday.
And after that I love cooking and baking which aren't that manly I don't think. But I also like home-brewing which is largely just middle aged men as far as I can tell.
Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk
I think the point of transitioning is to become yourself. If you force yourself to conform to what you think you're supposed to be rather than who you actually are I think its going to cause unhappiness - kind of like where you started.
Quote from: AnonyMs on January 19, 2018, 04:27:56 AM
I think the point of transitioning is to become yourself. If you force yourself to conform to what you think you're supposed to be rather than who you actually are I think its going to cause unhappiness - kind of like where you started.
Where is the upvote button! This.
I find cars incredibly boring, enjoy watching sports and I love computer games but only games with a great story.
I can't imagine being a guy or girl would change that
I love cars , guns and out doors stuff (hiking survival bushcraft) and I know I'm really a woman there have been "tom boys" for years and it doesn't matter if you are cis or trans there will always be "tom boys"
I'm school trained in auto/small engine/diesel engine mechanics, military science, combatives, police science, carpentry, criminology, sociology, psychology, law, and nursing(nursing was the more femaley stuff, I did in my macho days to try to express my caring/warm side), competent in welding, electrical, plumbing, and masonry. I exercise them all, out of necessity, did in male mode, still do nowadays as necessary, comes in handy. If there's a need for the more male endeavors or desire, I will do that, but do nowadays exercise, the more feminine range of things, unless I feel threatened, then I will shift to male endeavors.
:)
Quote from: Littlethings on January 17, 2018, 03:21:26 PM
I really like cars, video-games and many stereotypical "male things". I feel strongly that my body should be a woman, with dysphoria ranging from discomfort to outright hate of lower half and facial/body hair among other things. I am having trouble squaring my interests with my feelings on my body.
I surf, downhill skateboard, play various instruments, sew, play in a ska/reggae band, have a serious addiction to vinyl records.. and enjoy the odd spliff.. i work as a sound engineer .. i just do it like a girl :) i do find it hard to believe that interests are gender specific .. but the thought had run few my head a few times :laugh: do what makes you happy <3
QuoteIs anybody else dealing with problems like this and how did you resolve them?
Well, I'm definitely a techy but, as my sig says, I wear bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily. That's just me. Hopefully, should I get on hormones, I won't lose my interest in tech.
There's a lot of stereotypically manly stuff I like doing: fitness, anything involving the outdoors, off-roading, working on my car, construction, and a lot of my music tastes skew male-dominated.
But there's a lot I love that is stereotypically girly too: Hello Kitty, embroidery, sewing, needlepoint, cooking.
I say none of it matters one whit. You do you. Who gives a crap what box you squeeze into?
I'm pretty simplistic about that. I'm a woman, so I have "female" interests. End of story.
Classic cars, vintage & modern photography, reading. Sometimes a cross-stitch or two. ;D
It's only when I have to fix the classic cars that the dysphoria can raise it's ugly head. I used to really enjoy restoration but it doesn't really interest me now...
https://www.statista.com/statistics/232383/gender-split-of-us-computer-and-video-gamers/
The idea that many things are male or female dominated are often perpetuated by a small, vocal minority who want to "adopt" these things for themselves. To make themselves feel good, or something. I've seen no end of times people who just want to troll, saying stuff like "there are no girls on the internet" and "there are no girl gamers". Maybe not for them, if that's the attitude they have. But that doesn't make it true.
People can do, or be, whatever and whoever they want. Your gender shouldn't have a bearing on it. You like what you like, you're into what you're into. And if someone has a problem with that... too bad. That's their issue, not yours.
Don't be a stereotype. Be an individual. :)