Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Terra on December 17, 2007, 05:57:19 AM

Title: Moving on
Post by: Terra on December 17, 2007, 05:57:19 AM
 I really don't know where to put this but...

How do you move on from a relationship that is hurting you? Either a romantic, or social, or perhaps even family relationship. How do you move on from it?
Title: Re: Moving on
Post by: Laura91 on December 17, 2007, 09:26:34 AM
This may sound harsh to some people, but if I were in a relationship that was hurting me I would drop them like a hot potato.
Title: Re: Moving on
Post by: cindianna_jones on December 17, 2007, 11:10:31 AM
Your answer is in your question.  You move on.  You point yourself in another direction and walk, skip, or run.  It always hurts and it is always a difficult thing. Our emotions will tug at us for years. There are no easy answers.  But failure to "move on" may condemn you to a life of misery... one in which so many are stuck.

Cindi
Title: Re: Moving on
Post by: Wing Walker on December 21, 2007, 02:15:44 AM
Quote from: Angel on December 17, 2007, 05:57:19 AM
I really don't know where to put this but...

How do you move on from a relationship that is hurting you? Either a romantic, or social, or perhaps even family relationship. How do you move on from it?

I agree with those who have posted on this thread before me.  The best that you can do is to cope. 

If it is a social relationship it might not be a difficult thing to just avoid that person.

I have no family and that is by their decision.  I transitioned, they left, and I moved on.  I could not fulfill their wishes and could not accept their judgmental attitude toward me.

Romantic relationships are the most difficult for me.  In a prior lifetime I was in love, deeply, truly, committed, in love.  I was 17 and she was 16 and we were to be married.  It all looked possible until I enlisted.  She stuck with me through basic training but I could not see her waiting for me and never knowing if I will be there for the proms and other important occasions in her last two years of high school.

I broke up with her in August of 1970 and I still feel it. 

As soon as I got back to my post I took everything that she ever sent me, photos, letters, the lock of her hair that I kept with me always, and gave them a proper destruction.  I cried silently in my bunk for a week or two but after that I moved on by going to places where I could meet new people, possibly a new girl, possibly a new relationship. 

The faster you move, the farther you can go in less time.  The more people you meet and places you go the easier it will be to forget a romantic partner.

I give this advice in the belief that you are lots younger than I am (56).  Our perceptions change with our age.

Hoping this helps,

Wing Walker
Title: Re: Moving on
Post by: RebeccaFog on December 21, 2007, 12:10:46 PM

I am at a loss for words on this one except that all of the previous posts make valid points.

I wish you well.   When you leave, don't let yourself carry any of their baggage with you.