So I want to start HRT.
I am 22 years old. I am worried that I wont pass in the future.
Here is a current photo of me. I want realistic expectations so don't be too nice.
https://imgur.com/a/Iwx39
https://imgur.com/a/hvm11
The suit is cool. I know.
Everyone's definition of 'passing' is different. Probably, no matter what - there will always be some little signs that you were assigned to another gender at birth to an observant person, however that mythical observant person most likely won't care, and most people aren't that observant (and also won't care). So - I would say - with lots of practice and effort - you can probably achieve a good female looks that will be good enough for you to live your life as a woman accepted by most people.
You might wonder, what about my height, shoulders, size of the foot, etc. They would always make you more visible. But if they are balanced by feminine voice, face, hair, presentation, manners, female curves (all achievable!) - height alone won't be deciding factor, there are plenty of tall women.
It will take time to go there, it's better to start young if you want to reach that goal and still be relatively young to build your life as a woman.
First, I have to say you have pretty eyes!
From what is apparent in the pictures... physically, you look like you are at a really good starting point, and would probably be in pretty good shape long term, particularly being 22. If you get started now, you could have potentially great results. (Which isn't to say waiting means you won't get good results, simply not the ones you'll get now.) You can't really judge height, shoulders, ribcage, hand size, etc. from those pictures, so this really only applies to face though. I know my big issue is ribcage, which is something I never even considered before (conversely though, what I thought would be a huge issue in shoulders is already proving not to be one at all). Summary: Face and hair look like a great starting point. Nothing is overwhelmingly masculine (no visible brow ridge, etc.), except maybe chin which is correctable if it does turn out to be an issue even post hrt.
But as Elkie points out, there is a bit more to passing than just physical looks, but as it is impossible for anyone to say how you will do on voice or mannerisms based on pictures, not really sure what to comment on there.
Well, I thought my message was more positive than that. Good voice and other feminine traits (what you can achieve with good effort) can overcome some traits that cannot be altered. Not the other way around :)
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first off... I love the suit. Second, you're young. Hormones will do quite a bit for softening up your face. Your jawline may need some work, from what I can tell from your photo. Other than that, some touch up with the brows and perhaps a brow lift, I think you'd be quite passible. You already have some big doe eyes, so that's a plus. You don't have much to worry about with your hairline. It looks pretty thick. So I think you'll get some decent mileage from the hormones. You don't look all that broad or stocky, so you'll probably thin down some in the first 3 or 4 years. So thin with a good hairline and a smaller nose... You'd have some good success with hormones alone.
Hey CTOAU, welcome to Susan's Place! At the beginning you worry about passing. At the end you're only worried about being happy. It's better to be an ugly, happy broad than a handsome unhappy man. Flip the pronouns and that works for anyone. :)
See you around the site!
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: elkie-t on January 22, 2018, 01:51:53 PM
Well, I thought my message was more positive than that. Good voice and other feminine traits (what you can achieve with good effort) can overcome some traits that cannot be altered. Not the other way around :)
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Sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that was what you said in total, just that as you were alluding to other traits, that nothing here could really give us an insight into those other traits. This sentence felt confusing. :-X
I'm jealous of your narrow jaw. I have a wide jaw and small nose and mouth which makes my face appear really wide.
I think you could achieve good result with hormones, your face to me is already quite soft, you have nice lips, which most likely will get a bit buffier with hrt, trimming eyebrowns will alter your looks immediately and you have really nice big eyes!. Longer hair will also change your looks, just experiment different hairstyles. I for example was really worried about my forehead, which is MASSIVE!. But I went to a hairdresser and got myself bangs and that made the difference, even before hrt I was called cute!
You're basically working with what we all, or most of us are- face wise. It takes a lot of time on hrt. You just have to think about when the changes start, especially emotionally and psychologically. Going full time becomes almost instinctual. At least it has for me and I'm still not there yet. Not to mention the logistics of hrt. Of course it's well worth it and really one of those things you have to try to find out. Same with your results.
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Looks like a really good starting point tbh, I think that your facial hair and grooming patterns are making you see your face as more masculine than it is. Just remember that every girl, cis or not is made up of both masculine and feminine traits to them.
That suit is cool. When do you wear it though? On special occasions or when stepping out for milk and bread? You look like you just stepped off an 80s music video, and I mean that as a compliment.
Hello Cant_think_of_a_username, welcome to Susan's Place!
Since this was your first post I'll add information we like to provide - pointers for navigation, and site guidelines.
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Kendra
I went to a presentation by a plastic surgeon last week about female vs male facial features. He showed several pictures of beautiful women then pointed out features like big chins and high foreheads that we usually associate as male features. His point being that what you feel makes you female is different for everyone and there is no one facial feminization that works for everyone. I am no where close to being an expert on passing but I know that passing just looking at the face is not an impossible dream.
If you want to elicit female gendering all the time, you'll probably need the works. Start with electrolysis and voice training. Save up for facial surgery. None of these things will be corrected by HRT (though HRT can certainly do other kinds of wonders).
You'll also need to re-socialize yourself -- living with privilege often means we're blind to it (that's part of the privilege), so we have our work cut out for us. That means learning new patterns of communication, manners, and understanding what your new social expectations really are.
A lot of people will misgender you simply for having a trans narrative. As such, practicing non-disclosure might also be included on the list of what you need to do if eliciting female gendering all the time is indeed what you want.
Passing is not about changing your physical being. It is a total transition in looks, thoughts, actions, friendships, relationships. With many dead ends on the journey. That's why acceptance is more important. With acceptance there is no doubt.
Facially I see no reason you would not pass. As said HRT will soften and redefine some facial features. Try faceapp or modiface and see for yourself the differences. FaceApp made me look like a twin of my sister. I think I'm cutest but I'm older so I can say that. Lol
Hiiiiii (: just wanted to say it's something most, if not all of us, have worries about. I'm pretty sure in one or two of my threads you will read my complaints about it. But the truth is, for me, I didn't notice how much had changed until I was off of it, but I stopped HRT 5 days before hitting the two month mark. I went from 165 to 148 lbs and my lower face was thinning, my skin was soo soft, hair was growing super slow and thinning, nipples grew and buds formed, and all the annoying muscle areas shrunk significantly. Going back into it next week, and this time I'm just going to glide. It's really hard at first though, and I totally understand your concerns. Obviously HRT works differently on everyone, but that's what I noticed when I stopped and I took pics to make sure I wasn't crazy lol. Anyways, good luck on your journey!!
PS, I totally recommend using Groupon for laser, Ive gotten 4 of 6 treatments for 125 USD total. Just research the place you're going too. Other passing stuff, voice walk, and be natural. I find the more I embrace myself the easier it is to let her out. I've kept her locked up inside of a man for a long time, trained him to overpower her. Letting go of that is probably a key peice of the passing pie.