I still think of myself as "Paul" "Him" "that guy".
I think this is most likely because force of habit from being a guy all my life.
Will there come a time when I will never think ofor myself as "him"?
I don't mean I feel like a guy just that I still automatically refer to myself as one
As people around you will start to change pronouns more and more, your brain will too. I don't know where you are in your transition but these changes are gradual.
Even after 3 years I sometimes describe myself by my old name. Usually when I'm feeling a bit lethargic, and low on energy. I don't know if the person you were ever really goes away, it is your history after all, but it fades as you make progress.
It can be good being called the pronoun you want but it can feel weird at first because of a lifetime of the other, you can feel like you decided you are x or y gender decades ago but still continue to refer to yourself as how others see you or in the force of habit.
Took me about 3 or 4 years to naturally (without feeling a bit odd) refer to myself as other people were able to refer to me in a week or instantaneously after coming out. Even though for the longest time I would never mentally acknowledge myself as female.
I work with people with dementia so I get called everything from sir ma am brother sister father mom and some not nice names lol but I have answered to all of them. I think over time in generally it will get easier you may just have to keep reminding your self that is who you are. That is what i had to do for where I work.
I've been full-time for 11 months and she/her still sounds odd but I'm getting used to it. Denise however sounds natural and right. I do answer to it across a room now, for example.
I do know that he/him makes me uncomfortable.
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This should be interesting for my Shrink on Friday.
I kinda view Cassi as being the inner portion of a head of lettuce with the guy slowly being peeled away.
I feel comfortable wearing my fem clothes at home, earrings and occasionally some lipstick if I can get it on right and don't look soooo whory. In fact, I get tired of having to change my shirt, shoes and remove my jewlry just to walk the dogs in the neighborhood and look forward to the day where the HRT has processed enough for me to pass fem.
I have always had soft features for a guy and while my age might limit what HRT does, I feel quite confident that my features will become passable.
A few threads back I think I mentioned that my beard bugs me but as of late if I don't have to shave everyday which is good.
Horray for Cassi!
Quote from: CallMeKate on January 24, 2018, 01:54:09 AM
I still think of myself as "Paul" "Him" "that guy".
I think this is most likely because force of habit from being a guy all my life.
Will there come a time when I will never think ofor myself as "him"?
I don't mean I feel like a guy just that I still automatically refer to myself as one
For me I've felt personally building public relationships as the gender you genuinely see yourself to be of any kind/immersion can help your brain rewire. I identify as female on a few other public forums, and they have now accepted me as female. I don't very often think of my old name while online now.
Don't worry, this is very natural and I underwent a similar experience. :)