I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. I have custody of both, and am still married to their mother. I'm not sure I can keep this secret much longer.. It's killing me, not being able to be myself, and hiding who I am. Does anyone have any experience with coming out to their children? I'm not worried about the 1 year old, it's the 5 year old I worry about.
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Well mine handled it beautifully -- but they are 35 and 26. My 35 year old daughter is a civil rights lawyer who used to work in the San Francisco mayor's office -- back when Gavin Newsom was the only public official in America signing off on gay marriage licenses. So I didn't expect a problem with her.
My millennial son is also a lawyer, and also totally cool with it. The only problem with him is he won't let me play golf from the women's tees. :-P
Seriously, I have found that young children are remarkably resilient and adaptable. They also have a knack for seeing right through you to your core. Just be relaxed and be yourself. They won't care if daddy is becoming a mommy as long as they are safe, healthy, comfortable and loved.
Hugs, Carly
Hey [emoji4]. I've got two young children, now 6 and 4, they were 5 and 3 when I told them 'daddy was going to become a girl'.
I'm separated from their mum, but they visit at weekends.
The oldest (my son) has struggled alot with it. My Ex and I arranged play therapy sessions to support him through the first few months, and I think these were of value. My youngest (daughter) seems totally fine with things.
I present 'casual' female around them, and still have yet to do a skirt or dress with them, keeping things gradual.
Each child will react in their own way, but they are resilient and adaptive; as long as they still have your love and attention, then that's all any parent can do.
Good luck. X
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Thank you, Megan and Carly. This has helped a lot! I think my biggest worry is that my 5 year old will think that because "daddy" is that way, I have to be that way. I'm also worried about potential bullying.
P.S. Dang the word Daddy is triggering.. Which I feel horrible for, cause I should be proud to have some kind of parental title. I feel like I should just accept it, and not be that way, but it's hard!
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My kids still call me daddy, I'm fine with it though I'll suggest a change at some point.
It probably confuses the heck out of people when we're out in public, not its never caused any issue.
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My kids are 6 years apart. I came out step-wise, but when the changes were visible, the 12 year old girl picked up on it right away and the 6 year old boy did not. Long term, it was also easier on him. He doesn't really remember me differently, other than by looking at pictures.
There are rough spots in our parent-child relationships from time to time, but they seem like garden variety stuff now.
"Don't leave your crap on the counter."
"Do your own laundry."
"What career would make YOU happiest?"
"When are you thinking of moving out."
My daughter calls me Dad, and my son calls me Renae, or Re-Re. If and when there are grandchildren, I want Didi.
That's part of the reason I want to come out while they're so young, I don't want to hide it til he's older, and make it worse on him. I kinda hope they call me something like Lexi, or Momma A. Something along those lines. I will respect whatever they decide to call me, to an extent, though. As long as it's not mean, lol!
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Absolutely. Let them grow up with the knowledge and there will be nothing to fear.
Quote from: AlexisH590 on January 26, 2018, 05:37:41 PM
Thank you, Megan and Carly. This has helped a lot! I think my biggest worry is that my 5 year old will think that because "daddy" is that way, I have to be that way. I'm also worried about potential bullying.
P.S. Dang the word Daddy is triggering.. Which I feel horrible for, cause I should be proud to have some kind of parental title. I feel like I should just accept it, and not be that way, but it's hard!
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My son said, "I'm still going to call you 'Dad' because that describes the relationship, not the person." :-)
That's a really good way to think about it! I never did, and it's not so bad that way! :) Thank you!
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Quote from: CarlyMcx on January 26, 2018, 08:40:56 PM
My son said, "I'm still going to call you 'Dad' because that describes the relationship, not the person." :-)
Truth.
Still, he may move on from this. After all, relationships evolve over time too.