Susan's Place Transgender Resources

It's frequently said that accepting yourself is the most important step on this journey. I agree with that, I've watched so many here find peace after they came to terms with themselves. I also know many people move on, so I wanted to see what percentage of us have reached that point. Kind of a rolling estimate.

Hugs, Devlyn

I am still struggling with it a little

Do you know what's holding you back?

I've always been an optimist my whole life.  I've felt that the only way it can work for me is forward.  I have loved and accepted myself my entire journey, from birth to now.  Now being now! 

Yes,this is me and I figured it out myself

Being trans has never occurred to me as something I should feel unacceptable for.

For me, things they can't control can't be held morally against a person, and I'm included in that.

The thing I hold against myself were my conscious actions in life. It took a long time to accept myself when I breached my own morality. But I mean that in a general sense, when it came to transition I saw nothing unacceptable about that?

It's getting better


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Not a good day to ask.  Pretty down on myself.  Maybe tomorrow things will be better.

This is getting better day by day.  This time a year ago, no way.  After giving in to the beast I'm happier and starting to love myself.its Day by day right now.

Bari Jo

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 27, 2018, 07:45:14 PM
It's frequently said that accepting yourself is the most important step on this journey. I agree with that, I've watched so many here find peace after they came to terms with themselves. I also know many people move on, so I wanted to see what percentage of us have reached that point. Kind of a rolling estimate.

Hugs, Devlyn

Oh, I finally accept myself... all the quirkiness, strangeness, and frankly mystical elements that make me me.   That being said, I don't expect everyone to  understand  me though.  'Moving on' is life.. living it to me.  I come back here lurking from time to time though :) 

I just wish the medical establishment could figure me out honestly.  I have lots of questions, and only more questions the more doctors I see, and no substantial answers.  Such is life.

I have only accepted that I can't change anything. Certainly not to a measurable amount. There has been a lot of gothic strangeness and tragedy in my life concerning family, business and "friends." Self-improvement is always a daily task. I just hope when I am old I can look back and accept that I tried and did my best.

I know who I am, I am completely confident in that, it's just that it's complicated being androgyne and honestly any non binary gender because people don't understand it and critique and don't accept it and think that I'm making it up or invalidate me by saying everyone is like that or invalidate me by saying no one actually is like that  :o :o
No matter what it's a lose-lose
And it's just hard to hear the same pronouns all the time and not be able to say something because I don't want to face judgment. I feel like a tiny ant under a microscope all the time and sometimes I wish I was "normal" and not androgyne and that I could just be like every other person but some days its better than others.
This question really just made me think for a moment and I said no, but I do love myself, just hard to accept and integrate myself with everyone else.

I put yes, because overall I do. I accept who I am in a way I never did before. Am I where I want to be? Nope, not by a long shot. I also accept I have a long road ahead.

I do now. What a long confusing journey. "I wish I knew what I know now. When I was younger"

I accept myself, but obviously am not happy with my body. I love my soul, but it will always be a work in progress.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 27, 2018, 07:51:38 PM
Do you know what's holding you back?

Warning rant incoming

Up until now?... A number of things

hhmm , fear maybe? Loneliness, head thoughts... tried to control it for too long, to much confusion, ive always just let life happen to me which hasnt been great experience, my self image, self sabotage? (im not talking drugs, alchahol, im just talking not wanting to live but not suicidal either) depression? shame, alot of questioning... it drove me crazy, maybe some latent trans phobic thoughts about myself? how my life currently is/was idk alot of things i guess, being Asexual ive always felt too vanilla, at the same time i didnt want to be labeled ->-bleeped-<- or whatever feel like im letting down my mother who i live with currently, my financial state is depressing LOL  my mental state as a whole.... my weight, my self esteem as a whole sucks, i dont have a very supportive family, save for my mum who in my head she just wont understand, half the time i dont understand it, and ive never felt like i could make her understand, sometimes it comes and it goes, sometimes its like yelling at me, sometimes its little more  than a whisper of just hating being a man

And probably the biggest fear
not knowing if i can do SRS because of health problems

Ive already said it feels ridiculous sometimes to think these thoughts 

it hasn't always been like oh yep im Transgender 100% only recently that ive let myself think about it feels more like yep im Transgender, not long after first thinking about wanting to be female and that maybe i was Transgender, my dad passed away just as i was working the nerve to tell my parents, so that was quite the demotivation i was only 19 im 31 now, but too make matters worse it seemed to unleash a crap storm of just bad for years after it never felt right to come out and start transitioning, felt like something else was always more important at the time this was going on (something i told myself quite abit), a couple of family members living in my household at the time were/are narcissists which was quite overbearing at times again making it never feel quite right i had some other family tragedies and it just never felt right so it made it hard to accept myself, meanwhile the nagging of wanting to be female/gender dysphoria just wouldn't go away, as much as i tried to wished it would

I guess with my dad as a kid it always felt like he tried to dissuade any signs of me being Transgender idk i felt like if i told him before he died i would have lost him, thats sort of transfered to mum a little bit 

its sort of felt like

- other more important things from other people....
- loneliness, like maybe it wouldnt happen for me 
- feeling stupid
- other people
- looking after mum
- depression + Grief
- other health issues
- is it just in my head?
- getting too caught up in the questioning
- my sexuality (whatever that is)
- is this real?
- my dysphoria

Maybe ive thought about if i didnt pass at times

i know ive said some of this before but i felt like it was worth mentioning again since you asked....

but as much as ive fought against it, tried to live as a man, and tried to ignore it, it just keeps coming back

sorry for the long post, i know i can be quite pessimistic and

Fast forward to today, and im just trying to push all that aside so i can do it because i do feel slightly more accepting of me in 2018 , but still its hard to overcome it

I have no doubts. Some worries about family, but I have am always optimistic so I know it will work out for the best.

I dont feel like a man for sure...Not since what happened.

Im still struggling to understand who i am.

IF you cannot love and accept your self, who will?

I know I hated myself prior to transition, and went through a fair amount of hell along the way. The present time is a whole nother circumstance.

I know I'm trans. I accept it intellectually. But, I still need to work on accepting myself unconditionally and love myself.

I love myself, but I also dislike myself. I've been working on loving myself and all my transiness. I'm slowly making progess :)

Yes,  I'm not sure what I am, but I'm fully comfortable with it.
It didn't come easily (see my early posts), but comfort and acceptance in ourselves is freeing and empowering. X

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It's curious as in the last five years I've learned to love myself and accept this is who I am.
As someone who few up hating every aspect of myself it's so finally nice to just...get on with things.
I accept who I am and I think that is why I am still fine with having a male body.
I don't hate any aspect of myself as I like myself.

I still want to look female because that's me and that is something I've also accepted

Quote from: Christy Lee on January 27, 2018, 10:35:39 PM

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 27, 2018, 07:51:38 PM
Do you know what's holding you back?

Warning rant incoming

Up until now?... A number of things

hhmm , fear maybe? Loneliness, head thoughts... tried to control it for too long, to much confusion, ive always just let life happen to me which hasnt been great experience, my self image, self sabotage? (im not talking drugs, alchahol, im just talking not wanting to live but not suicidal either) depression? shame, alot of questioning... it drove me crazy, maybe some latent trans phobic thoughts about myself? how my life currently is/was idk alot of things i guess, being Asexual ive always felt too vanilla, at the same time i didnt want to be labeled ->-bleeped-<- or whatever feel like im letting down my mother who i live with currently, my financial state is depressing LOL  my mental state as a whole.... my weight, my self esteem as a whole sucks, i dont have a very supportive family, save for my mum who in my head she just wont understand, half the time i dont understand it, and ive never felt like i could make her understand, sometimes it comes and it goes, sometimes its like yelling at me, sometimes its little more  than a whisper of just hating being a man

And probably the biggest fear
not knowing if i can do SRS because of health problems

Ive already said it feels ridiculous sometimes to think these thoughts 

it hasn't always been like oh yep im Transgender 100% only recently that ive let myself think about it feels more like yep im Transgender, not long after first thinking about wanting to be female and that maybe i was Transgender, my dad passed away just as i was working the nerve to tell my parents, so that was quite the demotivation i was only 19 im 31 now, but too make matters worse it seemed to unleash a crap storm of just bad for years after it never felt right to come out and start transitioning, felt like something else was always more important at the time this was going on (something i told myself quite abit), a couple of family members living in my household at the time were/are narcissists which was quite overbearing at times again making it never feel quite right i had some other family tragedies and it just never felt right so it made it hard to accept myself, meanwhile the nagging of wanting to be female/gender dysphoria just wouldn't go away, as much as i tried to wished it would

I guess with my dad as a kid it always felt like he tried to dissuade any signs of me being Transgender idk i felt like if i told him before he died i would have lost him, thats sort of transfered to mum a little bit 

its sort of felt like

- other more important things from other people....
- loneliness, like maybe it wouldnt happen for me 
- feeling stupid
- other people
- looking after mum
- depression + Grief
- other health issues
- is it just in my head?
- getting too caught up in the questioning
- my sexuality (whatever that is)
- is this real?
- my dysphoria

Maybe ive thought about if i didnt pass at times

i know ive said some of this before but i felt like it was worth mentioning again since you asked....

but as much as ive fought against it, tried to live as a man, and tried to ignore it, it just keeps coming back

sorry for the long post, i know i can be quite pessimistic and

Fast forward to today, and im just trying to push all that aside so i can do it because i do feel slightly more accepting of me in 2018 , but still its hard to overcome it

Big hug! Thanks for opening up, rants are always welcome here.  :)

You do list a heck of a lot of things, a veritable mountain. The only way to tackle a mountain is one step at a time. If I can suggest one thing to you it would be get your weight where it needs to be. That would boost your self esteem, and put you in a better position for other things...like mountain climbing!  ;D

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Roll on January 27, 2018, 10:05:13 PM
I put yes, because overall I do. I accept who I am in a way I never did before. Am I where I want to be? Nope, not by a long shot. I also accept I have a long road ahead.

yup, this is where I'm at too. I always tried to run and hide from who I was but right around this time last year I decided to embrace it :)

That is a very difficult question to answer.

Living as a male, I hated my life.  Then the whole transgender thing finally exploded in my head and there were pieces scattered all over the place.  I'm trying to piece them together.  I can now see that there is a brilliant white light at the end of the black tunnel I was in (still am in it really).  I used to think that every day that passed was another one closer to the grave and that I didn't really care if I lived or died.  Now when I think of the future I want to look after myself and want to live!  I'm still not there yet but I'm trying to accept who I am and I do love it.  So, the answer is:  I'm learning to accept myself and it's much better now than it has been.  ;D

Accept?  Absolutely.  I accept who I am for the first time since I was 4 years old.  I am a Transgender woman and I'm happy for it.

Do I accept myself? Sometimes.
Do I love myself? No, not really. Not for a long time.

I accept that I know how I feel about myself, and that the fear of losing what little family I have left keeps me from moving forward. I accept that my life is pretty ok, except for the me that lives it.