Im just afraid because I'm down to just my one friend who is my best friend and sis and she lives in CA and I'm in VA. We met online back in 2004, when i first reached out to the tg community, and we have been chatting online almost everyday since. We've spent vacations together over the years and we game online and watch movies / tv online together online several nights a week. She is quite a bit older than me and had a stroke about 2 years ago. Her health is declining and she will be 70yo later this year. When I lose her I will be completely alone.
I used to have lots of tg friends via yahoo messenger back when I first reached out and began transitioning from 2003 - 2010. But I could never get past my height issues so I never progressed beyond dressing at home and self medicating with hormones for 7 years until I was 40 years old and gave up. It became so painful for me that I could not transition and be my true self that I basically avoided contact with everyone in the tg community except for 3 close friends (now down to one). I chose to isolate myself just like I've always done since puberty when Klinefelters Syndrome cursed me with a micropenis and boobs then caused me to be 6ft 4 preventing me from being a man or a woman. I've now lost all my contacts and yahoo support group info since Yahoo took a dump on their messenger app several years ago
And now I will likely lose my sis and best friend and be completely alone and isolated from society for the first time in my life. I don't feel I fit in anywhere and I'm scared. She is really the only reason I didn't off myself 14 years ago.
The tg community has been the only community to accept me really, but it's so painful for me that I can't transition and be Jessica, but at the same time I can't really be a man with a micropenis either. I'm so distraught. Many here got to experience life as a man and now get to experience life as a woman and I can't be either. I've managed to make it into my mid 40s still a virgin and never having had an intimate relationship or ever being loved in that way and completely isolated. When i lose my one friend i have left i will be completely alone in the world with no friends to chat with daily and no family. Seems that most people in my situation would have offed themselves long before now. I'm just so afraid. I feel so depressed alone and isolated that suicide seems the only way to stop the pain.
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When I feel that way, I have tried to fill some of my spare time with some sort of community service, local food bank, coach, mentor, of some other non-profit agency who needs volunteers. That usually helps me to feel more needed and connected by helping others.
It isn't easy to get started volunteering, but we'll worth the effort. It helps me avoid being alone, when those feelings of loneliness can really fester.
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Jessica I am 65 years old. I too have a micropenis. I too am 6'4" I am a DES baby. Until last year I never presented in public. I've kind of gotten over it by going to therapy en femme, attending support groups en femme, Having dinner after meetings en femme. I have destroyed about every relationship I have ever had especially with guys. I don't understand them well and we mostly don't have anything in common other than a few spare parts I was given in the birth process while my brain developed on massive doses of female hormones prescribed to my mother to prevent miscarriage. I've tried to live as a guy but always had a desire to reveal the real me. I even made two babies. Talk about immaculate conception. If not for my family, I too would have nobody. But I do believe I am making new friends. Right here on Susan's. The best experience I have had is attending Gender Odyssey last August and joining 1700 other transgendered people of all ages. Four days of hanging out with others, some even taller than me. Another milestone occurred last Christmas when my support group had it's Christmas party. A cis woman, made a point of coming across the room to tell me I looked stunning in my little black dress. Yes, she was older and her eyesight was failing but, I say this not to brag but to point out that anything is possible and the beautiful feelings that ensued just give me a warm fuzzy feeling of being accepted. If I had not gone, those feelings would never have materialized.
You are a fairly new member and still have insufficient post to send PMs. Take your time and get to know a few of us and it's very likely you will develop some new friends around here. I often check other profiles for various reason and I have found there is a good deal of PMs taking place in private on the site. Over time we tend to lose contact with some of our old friends but you have come to the right place to make new ones.
Im sorry you feel that way, i also feel this way too, i dont have a micropenis but i have moobs and i am a bigger person
however, honestly ive gotten too use to the loneliness, too comfortable with it