Hi everyone. I myself have not transitioned as of yet. I do fantasize quite often about how my life would be if I did. I am MTF BTW. So I'm just curious...for those who have fully transitioned how do people treat you on a daily basis? How do the people who knew you before you transitioned treat you? And how do new people and complete strangers treat you? When you go to the grocery store, the gym, the mall, nail salon, the DMV, or whatever do you get the sense that most folks are polite, nice, accepting and understanding? Or are they the opposite? Obviously there are lots of variables with this...like being passable, located in places like NYC, LA, or the hills of Tennessee. I myself am in a relatively open minded city of Atlanta. (still have plenty of rednecks though!) So yeah just curious to hear from others on how life has been since.
In my experience in Maryland, I have never had anyone treat me badly. Even when I was less proficient at passing, early on. I know I have been clocked but generally the worst that happened to me was a few that look at me and try to figure me out. I would point out that people who are not close to me who know my history or acquaintances who clock me, don't ask any personal questions. If we talk about kids or family, they don't tend to ask me questions about my family. Fear of saying the wrong thing perhaps! It can be isolating but I guess they are trying to be respectful.
Moni
I have been full-time for about 9 months, and everyone is either suipportive or accepting. In my own community, a small rural fishing fillage, everyone knows about me. Most knew me before I transitioned and are just fine with me now.
When we go into town (population about 4000), I don't advertise that I am trans, obviously, but I am sure that a lot of people 'clock' me. Nevertheless people still treat me politely. Of the places you listed, I have been to all except the gym. I am pre-surgery, so I would not feel comfortable in a locker room. Once I have had my surgery, I am sure there would be no problem there either.
I am a member of a couple of fairly large groups (50 members in one, about 150 in the other), and transitioned while actively participating. I received a lot of expressions of enthusiastic support in both groups, and not a single negative word.
There is one group in town that I joined after transitioning. I think they all know that I am trans, but no one there knows anything about my past. They have only known me as Kathy.
Wherever I go, I am treated like any other woman. I do sometimes get a curious look from strangers in restaurants. I just smile back.
The reactions from people in our village and in town have been way better than I feared.
I live in Canada, where trans rights are protected in law both federally and provincially. YMMV, but people's reactions will probably be better than you fear.
Working on transition. Will move to full time very soon. I'm out at work, and the community and no one has treated me badly. Asked questions, looked a but confused, but I haven't seen any lack of respect. If you have confidence that you are doing what you need to do, people will see it, and, usually respect that. The fear of doing something new is always there, but generally I grow stronger in getting past those fears and getting on with life.
I'm in a major city on the west coast and I haven't experienced much trouble, even before I came to possess more passing privilege. But I've always supposed my luck was largely due to my location.
I have had a positive experience mostly, I have had female coworkers give me make up and stuff include me in outings and stuff like that. They mostly treated me as any other female, my boss was surprisingly easy going which I was expecting worse to be honest, I was the first person to ever transition there and my boss and I have worked on policy and procedures for this so for the next trans person will be much easier. I have lost a few friends no big deal yes I have had a few hiccups on the way but have worked through them
I am two years post-op and everyone treats me just fine. At first it was not always that way. I usually do not wear makeup, but since my FFS, I am always treated properly.
It really depends on your how well you pass and your demeanor. If you act like a normal woman, most everybody is just fine with that. Act outrageous, like a drag performer, and people will question your sanity.
My srs, ffs and ba was over 2 1/2 years ago. I dont know what is like in USA, I understand alot has to do with where you are and if you pass. I am eurasian and have always lived in Bangkok and HK I fully pass, not that anyone cares, especially in Bangkok. I loved my life as a male and love my new life with my new found empathy. I live each day in wonder and awe, and each day I seek to learn and grow my knowledge. We are blessed with the gift to live two lives in one lifetime and that experience gives us the chance to be someone special. I give back to my community each day from small to larger deeds. I am at peace and happy. I hope all of us can find peace and happiness also.
Brits tend to mind their own business in public whatever they think, I've not had much of a difference here. It might be easier now. People used to treat me nervously because they weren't sure what to make of me. Now I think I'm just more anonymous.
I haven't had a negative experience with someone I don't know. Only with people I do know who think they know what's good for me better than I do.
I'm in the Southwest of the US. I live and work in New Mexico, a very trans supportive "blue" state. But I often travel to Texas which offers few protections.
I've been full time since the beginning of October (if I remember right). I don't pass in the slightest (just my opinion). I've never had a negative experience. The worst being a few times being pointed at or laughed at by strangers. I'll probably never see them again, so why should I care what their opinion is.
Family, friends and coworkers have all been supportive and accepting. The women at work even include me in girl talk. Talking about clothes and shoes and makeup and such. Yesterday, while shopping, a woman struck up a conversation with me about how hard it is to find jeans she liked. I agreed and said how I always have a hard time because I'm so tall.
I used to feel awkward shopping, or anything in public for that matter. Now I just go about my business and don't pay any attention to people's reaction. All in all, I've been treated fairly well.
Family sometimes has difficulty remembering, usually just pronouns. I don't really spend much time with them now to be honest, not that I ever did besides my one brother. His son has a lot of problems with my transition and I am not sure why. Maybe because everyone always says how much we are alike, maybe because he hates his friends hitting on me, I don't know. He is an adult but spends most weekends at my brother's so I just stay away.
I have moved and got a new job, it has made my life easier. Now if people know that I am trans, they know me as a woman first. I don't advertise but I also don't want to live my life terrified that someone will find out. I guess that I pass though, everyone treats me like a woman anyway. To answer part of your question a little better, some of the people that I knew wanted nothing to do with me, some were, not indifferent but unfazed, all of the close male friends pulled away. I think the last is because they didn't want people to think that they were interested in me. Now when I tell a guy they don't seem to care at all. Actually had a guy arguing with me that I wasn't trans a few weeks ago. "Why pretend that you are a transsexual? I don't understand." It was a very weird conversation. I have a friend who's boyfriend hates trans people, kinda stinks. I have a friend who's parents won't come to any of their events until after I am gone. I believe that I could go full stealth and not many would ever know, I just don't think that I can live like that. 40+ years of my life I hid who I was from the world and lied about everything, I don't want to anymore.
Seriously, show the world a woman and they will accept it. Most don't care enough to be bothered. There are a few that if they know will reject you but not many, and they will spend their effort to avoid you so you don't have to. We have be safety aware but all women do to some extent.
People that knew the living dead, have been great. Everyone at work said, that everyone there are happy, that I can finally be myself.
Otherwise those that didn't knew the living dead, well they have no idea, no strange looks anymore and I do not get any bad vibes at all from meeting new people everyday at work. Everyone treats me as a woman and uses my name without any hesitation. So in a way, I'm starting to notice, that little by little, I don't even think anymore, that do people see me as a woman or not.
I'm in Australia.
During transition people at work slipped over pronouns at times. I dealt with that if I thought it was deliberate.
In my daily life there were no problems.
I'm now 5-6 years post and I'm just another woman. I go to the gym, shop, socialise, join clubs.
I'm me, happy, smiling and very content. No one ever misgenders me and I am totally accepted.
Maybe not just another woman....I'm a superb wonderful one :laugh:
I'm in California for the most part everyone has been super sweet. I did have an unfortunate encounter yesterday at the hospital while getting a test. Unfortunately I haven't changed my name yet so my lab order had my male name. So I was at the hospital with my mom and the office nurse wouldn't talk to me she completely ignored me only looked and talked to my mom. That is the first time I have encountered such rudeness since transitioning 14 months ago.
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I live in Arkansas, and I've been very pleased with how I've been treated. The people who know for sure that I'm trans have been almost universally accepting and kind, from my friends to my co-workers to the lady at the DMV.
As for strangers, they all have treated me well or at least without open hostility. I think that's mostly due to the fact that I pass. I think I get clocked sometimes, but it never arises above a funny or slightly frosty stare.
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I work in Philadelphia and live just outside Philadelphia. I spend a good amount of time in the city after work and on weekends. I do not have any problems and in general everyone is nice to me. Where I live no one really notices me. I exercise in a state park near me and I am just another person in the park. There are the occasional looks.
I am going to the art museum tomorrow doing a "meet up" with a LGBT group. It should be fun and I hope to meet a new friend or two. I never would have done this 5.5 years ago. I will be joining another meet up group soon and further expand my circle of friends.
I have only had two issues and both in the gayborhood in Philly. One was a guy wanting sex and was very vocal but not a threat and another was a guy that would not leave me alone wanting sex. I have been stopped by guys in the street wanting to talk which is fine and then making a pass. All of these things have happened in daylight.
Beyond a few weird stares here and there, I've been treated rather well here in Western Australia in my daily life. At work there are no problems, same with uni.
Hi Heather and welcome aboard sister!!!
I began transition in late 2013...I'm in a smaller town on the California coast south of SF and have never had a truly negative reaction beyond stares and the occasional rude cashier but, I ran into those before transition just as often!!! 😀 I have traveled a lot to Texas, Arizona, New Mexico... Never a problem anywhere...
Please don't let fear of how people may react to you slow you down from living as you choose!...This might help...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,230730.0.html
All will be well
Onward we go brave sister!!!
Ashley 😀❤️🌻