I had articulated this in my head and now I come to write it down its all turned to mushy peas haha
I've been doing something today. I've been looking at people and deciding in my head of they are male or female within a second. The play is that I can only do so without looking at their face.
We all do this all the time subconsciously. But I'm making a note about it in my head.
It is instant and it is almost always correct.
What I am trying to figure out now are the key signs to make me realise someone's gender instantly.
Females - Body shape, long hair, arm bag, type of clothes, smaller upper body.
So that's what I have decided to aim for. To mimic these conditions.
I now have long pretty hair and I have noticed people giving me a second look just to check and that has NEVER happened before.
Body shape - Hormones will help...eventually. but they can't change my skeleton.
Arm bag - yup just buy one
Type of clothes - femailed clothes ARE very different and I have plenty of them.
Smaller upper body - limited here as I have a broad chest breasts should offset that a bit.
Gait - way of walking. I'm trying to learn
People-watching is a great way to learn the appropriate mannerisms and fashion sense.
Before I came out I was often accused of having feminine mannerisms so it was already there, the danger of mimicry is a tendency to overcompensate.
We all do it, I tried my hardest to fit in as a male and mimic the behaviour of something that was totally alien to me. The only person I was fooling was myself, mostly driven by fear and I was rubbish at it. So I decided not to do that anymore. Turns out I'd been learning the ways of womanhood from the moment I was born, it's mostly an unconscious act, but we are like sponges from an early age. Just trust you're natural instincts and you'll do just fine. Just be yourself. :)
Peace and love and all that good stuff,
Sadie
Quote from: KathyLauren on February 12, 2018, 02:29:51 PM
People-watching is a great way to learn the appropriate mannerisms and fashion sense.
That is right!
I suggest sitting down at a mall or a food court or at the airport and just take notice of those that walk by. See if you notice commonalities and differences among those you watch. Take a book and look at people in between the times that you are reading. Or eat at the food court, for an extended amount of time.
Chrissy
I sometime watch others at the foodcourt too... I notice that when a female eats, she will put out her tongue and lay the food on it.. Where as many men will just stuff it in.. LOL! Its the way you sit down too.. Many females will curve their way onto the chair whereas a male will just plonk themselves down. There are heaps of actions male and females do differently and unconsciously. Because I have been around females most fo my life, I tend to act more female than I thought I might.. Perhaps thats the reason why some people have asked me if I am gay.. I just do not like doing guy stuff.. But I never exaggerate my actions.. I tend to be as natural and subtle as possible..
TR...
Sometimes when the dysphoria gets to me I watch people in town or the mall and notice how many people aren't classically male or female, and that the flaws I see in myself are pretty common and thus not as big an issue as they seem to be.
The walk is hard at first, but once you have it down, you're good. I would tell you how I do it, but I'm afraid that if I over think it I will forget how to do it, and I'm only slightly kidding, lol 😀
It's funny, my wife tells me I have a very confident but original gait that she would recognize a mile away. She says it's very femme, but she tells me it's a bit of a runway model walk mixed with the "moving with a purpose" stride I developed during my time spent in the military. It's become natural though and I wouldn't know how to turn it off if I tried. Not that I would want to.
Quote from: TR on February 12, 2018, 06:07:37 PM
Its the way you sit down too.. Many females will curve their way onto the chair whereas a male will just plonk themselves down.
That's something you learn when wearing dresses and skirts especially when they are short or tight. You don't want to be putting on a show. With a loose or flowing skirt, pay attention to how they smooth it out as they are sitting down. You want the dress/skirt underneath you when you sit down. You need to learn how to swivel in and out of a car too.