Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi everyone!!
hmm well Im 20 years old. Well you are probably wondering what I am. Im nearly a hundred percent sure that Im a mtf. Unfortunately, I have not had the courage to do anything about it as Im dependent on my parents for my degree from a university and have no clue how they would react. And I dont really have the money to go to a therapist right now. So I dont really need that kind of advice. I know I have to see one.;.hopefully sooner rather than later

I have always had fantasizes about being a girl/ women. Even way back in elementary school had fantasizes and put pillows under my shirt before I went to bed. And had fantasizes about crazy things like a machine at the school that turned you into a girl. And Id imagine that I put in my New York Jets jersey in the machine too and it automatically turned into a cute dress, etc etc. Haha Well Im off on a tangent which I seem to do a lot. When I was in my early teens I began to crossdress privately however, I have not done that for years.

The strangest thing is that in my years in school and so far away at college Ive always been very masculine. I played linebacker on my high school football team. I believe I did this because I was just hiding my insecurities.. However at the same time the girls I would date, I would enviy them and wish the shoes were reversed. I had this rough macho external and on the inside I am kinda like a girly girl. My favorite color secretly is pink and light blue, and I developed a love for fashion. In fact I think I valued fashion taste over looks in dating.. haha.

My biggest worry is that once I start the transition if I do depending on the therapist. Im really afraid of not passing. I know this is a common theme from ghost reading this forum for the past few weeks but I still fear it like nothing else. Me and my older sister people still say we have the same face so that gives me confidence but like the above paragraph said I played linebacker and Im afraid my shoulders might be too broad.. etc.. etc.

So I joined this site to hopefully get stuff off my chest, talk to like minded people, and lead me on the my eventual path.  By the way about my name. I cannot decide which name I like better Ashley or Brenna and guess Ill wait till its time to make the choice and make the other name my middle. haha. Well thats my story if anyone cared. 

Welcome to Susans.  There are many resources available here and lots of friendly people.


Sarah L.

Welcome Ashley or Brenna,

I like both names.  Pick the one that suits you today.

Take your time, look around, ask questions, and you will find answers.  There is a lot to learn.

You wouldn't be here if you didn't think it would help in some way. 

Good luck

Jenny

Hi Ashley Brenna,
I'm glad you joined and I like to say your not alone; there are a few of us her that also can't go forward in our transition for variety of reason.  :)
Hope to read more of your postings soon.
Welcome to Susan's,
Jillieann

Hello Ashley and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with all the boards of the site, review the site rules  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)before posting, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki (https://www.susans.org/wiki/Main_Page), chat (https://www.susans.org/chat/index.html), and the links listed at the main page. (https://www.susans.org/index.html)  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay :)

tink :icon_chick:

Hi Ashley,

   It's good to hear that you don't seem afraid of admitting being female to yourself.  A lot of us tried to hide it for so long that it became unbearable.  At least you'll have a chance to avoid all the damage that denying your nature can do to a person.

   I wouldn't worry about passing yet.  I'm sure you'll get there.  You're young and you probably haven't started living in a way that will wreck you.

   One of the great powers of this site is that you will have a chance to discuss nearly any topic.  There are few things better than having a place where you can be open about yourself, have the understanding of others, and know you'll be respected.


Have fun and best wishes,


Rebis

Hi Ashley and welcome to Susan's!  When the time comes, don't worry about broad shoulders. Mine are very broad and I've never had any problems. Well, except for buying blouses. That is trickier.

Karen Lyn

Ashley, Hello. I

I can relate to you in a number of ways. First off, I'm also 20. I live with my father, for reasons of going to school not both parents..But still am terrified to come out to him about all this! I have no clue how he will react..Hm..I could probably go on, but mainly just wanted to greet you here. Not ramble you ear, or (eye's in this case since I'm typing)  all day :)
Hope to hear more from you!

-Monica

Quote from: Rebis on December 23, 2007, 10:13:54 PM
Hi Ashley,

   It's good to hear that you don't seem afraid of admitting being female to yourself.  A lot of us tried to hide it for so long that it became unbearable.  At least you'll have a chance to avoid all the damage that denying your nature can do to a person.

   I wouldn't worry about passing yet.  I'm sure you'll get there.  You're young and you probably haven't started living in a way that will wreck you.

   One of the great powers of this site is that you will have a chance to discuss nearly any topic.  There are few things better than having a place where you can be open about yourself, have the understanding of others, and know you'll be respected.


Have fun and best wishes,


Rebis

Hi, Ashley, and welcome to Susan's!

Rebis, I borrowed your quote because it expresses my feelings so very well and I thank you.

Ashley, I fully agree with what Rebis said about having time on your side.  I began transitioning a lot later than you will and I am satisfied with the results.  The peasants have not come for me with torches and pitchforks so I must be doing something right.

You made a wise decision to include a therapist from the git-go.  If you can find one who feels comfortable working with gender identity, all the better.

Be well and stay well and, again, welcome, and don't be afraid to ask questions.

Wing Walker

Céad mile fáilte.
Welcome to Susan's Asley Brenna. You're in the right place to share, question and get support. All the best in your journey. May the road rise up to meet you.
Go n-éiri do bhóthar leat

Love, Light, Laughter & Respect

Maebh

welcome to susans place Ashley Brenna :) :) :)

Hi Ashley Brenna , welcome to Susan's.
I believe that you will find the answers to the questions you may be wanting to ask here.
Yes to get a therapist should be your #1 priority before you can do anything else and I am certain that if the person is worth his/her salt they should be able to help you find and follow what you need to know to help you on your journey.

Have a pleasant Xmas day for it will be early Xmas morning out East.

Cindy