Hi everyone. So last night when my dad got home from work I could tell something was bothering him and I figured something had happened at work but I didn't press him about it. My dad doesn't share bad stuff that happened at work very often and I figured if he wanted to talk about it he would. So I got up and had coffee with him this morning before he left for work and he told me what happened.
Yesterday he had answered a domestic violence call. This guy had beaten the crap out of his 14 year old son. My dad said the boy's face was wrecked. He beat his son up because he had come out as gay. The boy's older brother had tried to get his dad to stop and he got his nose broken. The mother was just standing there. She told my dad her husband had a good reason for beating his son and that they didn't want a gay son. My dad told her the boy would be removed from the house and she said good, that they didn't want him back in their house. When he told her the other son would be removed as well she said " but he hasn't done anything wrong". The paramedics were looking at the boy and as my dad was hauling him out to the car he turned and spit on his son and told him he wished he was dead! My dad isn't a violent guy at all but he said he actually had to restrain himself from hitting the guy when he did that. Both kids went to the hospital and were in state custody. My dad said unfortunately they would end up in foster care. He said the guy of course went to jail and is facing serious charges which were made a lot worse because both his sons were minors. He said he really would have loved to arrest the mother as well but there were no legal grounds. On the way to jail my dad asked the guy why he would hurt his son like that and if he realized he could have killed him beating him like that. He said he didn't care if he had and that if he had known his son was going to be a "####g ->-bleeped-<-ot" he would have made his wife have an abortion. All that just because his son was gay.
My dad has to have a professional distance from the cases he deals with and he usually does but this really upset him. He said he couldn't imagine ever doing that to a child and especially not your own for any reason, ever. It really astounds me that a LGBT issue could inspire that kind of utter hate in a parent for their own child. It's just....beyond sad. I see society still has a LONG way to go.
I have no words. The level of ignorance and intolerance required for anyone to do that to another person then to compound it with that person being your child. It's unfathomable.
I so sorry your dad had that experience. It is hard to believe that a parent could switch from love to hate all because they can't handle the world around them. They feel so insecure in their lives that they have to dictate it by their rules, not caring about anyone else. Their son bared his soul to the ones he had thought he could trust and they betrayed him. I'm especially disgusted with the mother, she is supposed to nurture her children through the hardships of life, but I guess you know not all mothers have that instinct.
Quote from: Jessica on February 20, 2018, 09:26:06 AM
I so sorry your dad had that experience. It is hard to believe that a parent could switch from love to hate all because they can't handle the world around them. They feel so insecure in their lives that they have to dictate it by their rules, not caring about anyone else. Their son bared his soul to the ones he had thought he could trust and they betrayed him. I'm especially disgusted with the mother, she is supposed to nurture her children through the hardships of life, but I guess you know not all mothers have that instinct.
Yeah, the mother's reaction really surprised me too. Not in any circumstance could my mother ever be called a " good mother" but I don't think even she would just stand by and let someone beat the crap out of me. When I hear about stuff like this it reminds me how really lucky I am that I never experienced violence growing up. My mom smacked me sometimes when I was little and recently she did hit me in the face, but I was never spanked as a child. I just can't even imagine actually being beaten by a parent. My dad never spanked us but he sure would take away TV, phones and computers which for me at the time was like the end of the world.
Unfortunately, some parents think it's OK to beat their kids in such a manner or even kill them. A few years ago, just a few blocks from me, a girl was killed by her father and brother, because she had "dishonoured" the family. Sometimes, such beatings are due to religious belief, driving out the evil spirits, etc. In some communities, beating someone who's gay might be considered such.
Julia, do you know if it's legally ok to disclose this information here? You might want to ask your dad.
Quote from: AnonyMs on February 20, 2018, 09:50:32 AM
Julia, do you know if it's legally ok to disclose this information here? You might want to ask your dad.
She didn't identify a person or location, so I doubt there's a problem. Also, newspapers, etc. often report crimes, identifying both.
Quote from: AnonyMs on February 20, 2018, 09:50:32 AM
Julia, do you know if it's legally ok to disclose this information here? You might want to ask your dad.
As Anne said, I didn't use names, I don't know their names or their address. And I don't think anyone here knows my dads name.
My parents used to beat me with belts and brushes but it wasn't a daily occurrence. They also forced me to eat soap if I said a bad word. It all only stopped when I got big enough to physically not allow it.
I think this sort of thing used to be the norm.
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QuoteI think this sort of thing used to be the norm.
That "norm" varied considerably. I don't ever recall it being normal to beat a child so hard as to cause injury. That sort of thing would tend to result in criminal charges and the child being removed from the home.
Quote from: Deborah on February 20, 2018, 10:12:13 AM
My parents used to beat me with belts and brushes but it wasn't a daily occurrence. They also forced me to eat soap if I said a bad word. It all only stopped when I got big enough to physically not allow it.
I think this sort of thing used to be the norm.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
That's horrible! I'm sorry you went through that. Eating soap? That's messed up! My dad wasn't easy by any means. He was really strict about some things but he never nee ed to spank us to keep us in line. A lot of times one of his looks was enough to quiet us down.
How much blame should be given to the community this family associates with? This idiot and his idiot wife have obviously been trained from a young age to hate LGBT people.
Quote from: Deborah on February 20, 2018, 10:12:13 AM
My parents used to beat me with belts and brushes but it wasn't a daily occurrence. They also forced me to eat soap if I said a bad word. It all only stopped when I got big enough to physically not allow it.
I think this sort of thing used to be the norm.
Yup it was the norm for me too. Belts, brushes, wooden spoons, my mother like to clip me on the back of the head with her ring finger. Only had to suck on a bar of soap a few times though :) But after it stopped when I got older I think the verbal abuse was just a bad.
It's a lovely world we live in,
Paige:)
Quote from: Deborah on February 20, 2018, 10:12:13 AM
My parents used to beat me with belts and brushes but it wasn't a daily occurrence. They also forced me to eat soap if I said a bad word. It all only stopped when I got big enough to physically not allow it.
I think this sort of thing used to be the norm.
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 20, 2018, 10:25:41 AM
That's horrible! I'm sorry you went through that. Eating soap? That's messed up! My dad wasn't easy by any means. He was really strict about some things but he never nee ed to spank us to keep us in line. A lot of times one of his looks was enough to quiet us down.
Ahh yes, soap, I remember it quite (un)fondly .. nasty!
Belt, brush, whatever came to hand when the maple board went 'missing'. You learned to
not get caught behave yourself real fast.
Quote from: Faith on February 20, 2018, 10:36:52 AM
Ahh yes, soap, I remember it quite (un)fondly .. nasty!
Belt, brush, whatever came to hand when the maple board went 'missing'. You learned to not get caught behave yourself real fast.
Damn! What was it with people making their kids eat soap????? That's totally messed up! That was the usual thing for using curse words?? Once when I used a particularly nasty word in front of my dad he made me write (I will never use use nasty words again) 1000 times on notebook paper during the time my TV shows were on. That was pretty harsh but eating soap?? OMG!
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 20, 2018, 10:49:03 AM
Damn! What was it with people making their kids eat soap????? That's totally messed up! That was the usual thing for using curse words?? Once when I used a particularly nasty word in front of my dad he made me write (I will never use use nasty words again) 1000 times on notebook paper during the time my TV shows were on. That was pretty harsh but eating soap?? OMG!
There's a great bit about soap in the movie The Christmas Story. Watch these two clips.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KjxFDGFKhk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtEaka1QeV0
My adoptive parents were real pieces of work. I was beaten by her with chains after she broke belts. He just stood by and played the part of enabler. The one time he struck me, was when we were having a serious discussion, and I asked " why did you ever marry such a b****?" He hit me hard enough to slightly dislocate my jaw.
I gladly went into foster care when she started going after me with knives. The legal system did nothing to either of them. Of course, this all happened in the late 1970s and early 1980s.
Quote from: Julia1996 on February 20, 2018, 10:49:03 AM
Quote from: Faith on February 20, 2018, 10:36:52 AM
Ahh yes, soap, I remember it quite (un)fondly .. nasty!
Belt, brush, whatever came to hand when the maple board went 'missing'. You learned to not get caught behave yourself real fast.
Damn! What was it with people making their kids eat soap????? That's totally messed up! That was the usual thing for using curse words?? Once when I used a particularly nasty word in front of my dad he made me write (I will never use use nasty words again) 1000 times on notebook paper during the time my TV shows were on. That was pretty harsh but eating soap?? OMG!
Seems now days they are eating Tide pods without provocation. Soap! It's what's for dinner. My Pop's used a belt on me once for lying. Mom on the other hand liked to trim the apricot tree of branches to whack the crap out of us. But that didn't hurt nearly as much as her saying she was going to walk in front of a car if we didn't behave. The irony is, my Mom was killed while walking down the road by a guy who admitted to drinking at least 13 beers before running her over. I often wonder if it was not her fulfilling her promise. You can get over a beating. You can't get over the loss of a loved one.