Was excited but had a brief moment of anxiety in the washroom before I met with her. She was really awesome.
I felt relaxed right away. A lot came out. It was like a tsunami. I was honest right from the get go. Basically my first words were. "I'm pretty sure I'm transgender." I think because I was in my man suit there was a little shock but not much on her part.
She's got a bunch of experience dealing with transgender people. She also told me that there are a myriad of other options that we can also look at. I told her about my anxiety and we talked about it and I said that coming into the appointment is my first step and it makes everything real. Through all this, my inner female wants out so bad it won't let things like anxiety stop me, I was briefly only scared because it's the first step into the unknown. I told her I wasn't even scared of bottom surgery if I get there so long as I still have the ability to orgasm. I even told her I was wearing panties and do so everyday now.. We talked about my relationship mybrelatinship with my mother(of course, lol) and my youth. We talked about how much I hate the way men talk about women and my sexuality and how my attraction to women has become envy.
What did become clear is I was able to finally articulate what it's like for me when I don't wear my "man-suit." I let my femininity out and it's like revealing an inner light with full confidence, confidence to be vulnerable to the world. Which I've never had wearing my man-suit.
Didn't really set much in the way of goals as it was more of an initial emotional dump. She did give me a program to look into however. I'm making another appointment in a couple weeks and I'm sure that's when the picture will become more clear for her as the first meeting seemed pretty chaotic and jumped around a bunch.
I feel pretty confident about it. I think she's a good fit at least for now.
Thanks for listening. Any input is appreciated.
I'm glad your first experience was a positive one. It sounds like you clicked with her.
Side note: in two years I've not had a single session that wasn't all over the place. It's a place to "core dump" (an old IBM computer term for showing you everything that's in memory) and hopefully the expert (your councilor) can read it all and figure out what's going on.
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Hi Sasha 🙋♀️ Congratulations on this large first step. That first step can be more like a leap over a chasm, but your strong enough to grab onto that hand you know is there. That hand can help you into a place that can bring to an understanding of who you are. It's up to you to be as honest to yourself as you are with your therapist to get there.
Hugs, Jessica
Good for you !😊
Sounds good
Congratulations! It takes a lot to walk into that office, so good on you for overcoming the anxiety. It sounds like you approached the session with a good attitude, and it definitely helps that the therapist is someone you can relate well to. It certainly sounds like you accomplished a lot.