Trans women aren't real is like saying that adoptive parents aren't real parents isnt it hypocritical?
This is one topic I wrestled with in the past week but I was able to resolve it in one word - subjectivity. Each and every person we encounter has a different definition of what a woman is and that translates further into what will pass and what won't. There are those that we pass with easily and fit in as women and then there are those with such rigid definitions that many cis women would have a hard time hitting them.
In the end, I think we have to get to the point that it just doesn't matter. We transition for us, our mental well-being, not what the world offers in return. I will be the very first to admit that proper gendering and such is very rewarding internally but in no way can I control how people think.
Just this week at Wallyworld. One cashier chatted with me like we went to high school together, the next one was clearly disturbed by me, totally rigid and wouldn't say a word. I just let it go, which is something only a few weeks ago I would not have done. I'm glad I am working through this part and hopefully it continues to be less of an issue for me.
When you consider how much many of us wrestle with transition and all that it means, its no wonder that cis gender folks who have no understanding of the oddness we feel have problems accepting we are what we say we are.
Quote from: 2.B.Dana on March 03, 2018, 01:48:38 PM
This is one topic I wrestled with in the past week but I was able to resolve it in one word - subjectivity. Each and every person we encounter has a different definition of what a woman is and that translates further into what will pass and what won't. There are those that we pass with easily and fit in as women and then there are those with such rigid definitions that many cis women would have a hard time hitting them.
In the end, I think we have to get to the point that it just doesn't matter. We transition for us, our mental well-being, not what the world offers in return. I will be the very first to admit that proper gendering and such is very rewarding internally but in no way can I control how people think.
Just this week at Wallyworld. One cashier chatted with me like we went to high school together, []the next one was clearly disturbed by me, totally rigid and wouldn't say a word.[/b] I just let it go, which is something only a few weeks ago I would not have done. I'm glad I am working through this part and hopefully it continues to be less of an issue for me.
When you consider how much many of us wrestle with transition and all that it means, its no wonder that cis gender folks who have no understanding of the oddness we feel have problems accepting we are what we say we are.
I live for those moments! If someone is more bothered by me being transgender than I am, it's a win! :laugh:
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 03, 2018, 01:52:10 PM
I live for those moments! If someone is more bothered by me being transgender than I am, it's a win! :laugh:
Hugs, Devlyn
Well put Devlyn. :) My thoughts exactly.
Hugs,
Chelsea
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on March 03, 2018, 01:52:10 PM
I live for those moments! If someone is more bothered by me being transgender than I am, it's a win! [emoji23]
Hugs, Devlyn
Thanks for the chuckle. I love it.
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Quote from: Priya on March 03, 2018, 01:33:17 PM
Trans women aren't real is like saying that adoptive parents aren't real parents isnt it hypocritical?
That's a good way of putting it.
Trans women who are transitioning to live and present in the female role full time might as well be for intents and purposes women, like adoptive parents are to all intents and purposes parents.
Some people would focus on the biological absolutes like not being able to carry children in a uterus but that only seems to be an issue for a section of people. For most people, it's what you do and how you do it that counts in life.
True kylo