I'm a 23 years old man, and i've always pictures myself as a man in the future, kind loving father and as a old man.
Dysphoria kept kicking me and i now see myself a woman for the next few years, but can't imagine myself as a woman past that. i'd be craving to be a sexy woman, but i'd prefer looking as a old man later in life.
How did you imagine yourself before HRT, during and after ?
I pictured myself as a female. I always knew I would transition no matter how difficult it would be.
I'm actually spot on to my Pre-t imagination, tbh. I hadn't had big expectations going in, just me as a guy passing as male. (I already know I'm thin, have dark hair, look young, just add the short hair and the masculine facial structure)
I do imagine myself as a tattoo biker living on a goat farm when I'm old, though. We'll see...
My post transition results are actually better than I had hoped for. I expected to be passable but I wasn't sure how pretty I would be. I still don't see it myself but people tell me I'm very pretty which is more than I expected.
Pre HRT, I was just the effeminate androgynous guy that could never do anything right. Nobody wanted me around for long. The only way I could find happiness, was to go off into the woods, and enjoy nature. I was more comfortable around the black bears and mountain lions, than I was around humans. At least the animals weren't going to attack me just because they didn't like my face.
Fast forward 26 years, and I am an extroverted woman. I enjoy the company of people.
Pre-HRT and transitioning I was a small framed guy with hardly any muscle or bulk, squeaky voice, very light body hair or none at all in most places, and short height 5' 4" ... 5' 5" maybe if I fluffed my hair and stood on my tip-toes.
I was the butt of jokes in the men's locker rooms in high school, college and at gyms and public swimming pools...I was subject to lots of bullying and felt uncomfortably unwelcome in the company of my classmates and jocks in my classes.
Regarding my previous male body, all of that now is in my favor as I have transitioned to full time and now pass unquestionably.
aspiringperson
I avoided picturing myself as much as possible